ATTENTION ALL ALASKA UNITS
We have a report of a stolen walrus penis bone (second item).
(Thanks to Justin Barber)
Be advised that Walter is on the case.
Also be advised that the exclusive CrapCam has put some kind of weird green line across Walter.
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November 23, 2005
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Where's his Sherlock Holmes hat?
Posted by: Reddsuss | November 23, 2005 at 03:59 PM
The school camera did something similar to my student ID. I looked like a bleeding Vulcan.
$850 dollars for one of those things? Dang.
Posted by: Bumble | November 23, 2005 at 04:01 PM
Wow, those things are expensive. That's like, two Xbox 360's worth of penis bone.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | November 23, 2005 at 04:06 PM
WOW. I had no idea. Probably worth a lot more to the walrus, though. Glad to see that Walter is on the job...er, case.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | November 23, 2005 at 04:08 PM
Penis, bone, "units", Walter, Oosik... I wondering if "Wasilla" is a place, or an Alaskan reference to the male genitalia..
***Note: At the left of the screen, under Who's Online, it says: There are currently, 210 guest(s) and 0 member
Posted by: gjcjax | November 23, 2005 at 04:19 PM
Scroll waaay down for an Ode to an Oosik.
Posted by: mama723 | November 23, 2005 at 04:24 PM
So this guy stole a valuable walrus penis bone...why?
1. resale
2. blogging purposes
3. on a dare
4. undisclosed personal reason
Posted by: Jessica R. | November 23, 2005 at 04:29 PM
Sorry for posting twice, meant to put: There are currently, 210 guest(s) and 0 member(s)...
That's a lot of disappointed guests, eh?
Posted by: gjcjax | November 23, 2005 at 04:34 PM
What kind of heartless bastard would take a man's walrus penis bone? Come to think of it, what kind of heartless bastard would take a walrus's penis bone?
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 23, 2005 at 04:49 PM
Jessica and Stupe-man - to understand why, please review yesterday's video, "The Asinine Adventures of Rocketboy and his Firestick."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 23, 2005 at 05:04 PM
AWBH--it was painful enough viewing it one time!
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 23, 2005 at 05:40 PM
"Padie's Stolen Usik" wbagnfarb
Posted by: russell | November 23, 2005 at 05:42 PM
Any relation to Walter?
Posted by: Kathy P. | November 23, 2005 at 05:55 PM
Pardons if this has been covered earlier, but what is that apparent joint in the middle of Walter? Is he constructed kind of like a pocket fisherman?
Posted by: everysandwich | November 23, 2005 at 06:37 PM
everysandwich - that does make sense. Kind of a Popeil's Pocket Penis, of sorts.
Actually, this question has plagued me, too. Is it really so big that it has to have a knee?
Posted by: Jillywilly | November 23, 2005 at 06:51 PM
in order to make up for the fact that male walruses are fat and ugly, God decided to give them reeeaaally big penises with a knee...?
what? it could happen
Posted by: TCK | November 23, 2005 at 08:03 PM
OK, do I SMELL like spam or somethin? Why do I keep having to go through the robot password thingy?
Posted by: TCK | November 23, 2005 at 08:04 PM
Because you're saying a bad word, TCK!
Sometimes if you hyphenate (which sounds like a dirty word all by itself) a word, like pen-is, you won't get the spam thingy!
Let's see -
*pushes post*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2005 at 08:47 PM
It worked!
Posted by: Eleanor | November 23, 2005 at 08:48 PM
Maybe Jeremy Padie was just trying to play the game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" with Walter.
Did the Alaska P.D. log and measure this stolen property? I'm wondering if the police blotter reads "Usik, 9 millimeter..."
Happy Tryptophan Day, Bloggers!
P.B.
Posted by: PirateBoy | November 23, 2005 at 09:23 PM
There once was a walrus named Brent
('cause Walter won't rhyme)
Whose oosik was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He installed the thing double...
Then instead of c-----g,
He went.
Posted by: Limericky | November 23, 2005 at 09:29 PM
This whole thing made me laugh very, very hard. I have no idea why.
Posted by: J who ought to be in NZ | November 23, 2005 at 09:49 PM
Everysandwich - good question, and it's related to how it got its name. The tapered half, the part furthest from the male's body, is called the 'ooo.' The other half is the 'sik.' It comes (sorry!) from the sound the female makes during the event. When the first part goes in -"ooo", then the second part - "sick!" And, to be honest, I have to agree with her.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 23, 2005 at 10:00 PM
ahem...I just said it was an excellent question. I never said I would answer it.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 23, 2005 at 10:52 PM
You people are freakin' crazy. Oooh, what's that spam smell?
Just kiddin' TCK. Ya know I luv ya!
Posted by: southerngirl | November 24, 2005 at 12:55 AM
I guess we now know what that spam smell is!
Posted by: (_i_) | November 24, 2005 at 09:13 AM
Dave, I thought that green line was a circumcision scar.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 24, 2005 at 07:27 PM
as owners of the penis ,we find it very amusing that the entire country finds it funny that someone stole our penis - owner, mile 49 cafe wasilla alaska
Posted by: tom hood | December 01, 2005 at 10:54 PM
the oosik wasnt worth more than 200 hundred dollars every 1 is full of shit
Posted by: jeremy padie | June 08, 2006 at 12:01 AM