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October 25, 2005

THE FOLKS AT ANANOVA.COM

We must give thanks that they don't live in Hurricane Wilma's Tree-Free Zone, so they are able to concentrate on bringing us truly important news stories.

(Thanks to Collins69S)

Comments

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Is everybody speechless? Too speechless even to post a FIRST!?!

I think we have a class action here folks. This woman's partner never gave ME an orgasm either.

sarcasmo- snoked my v-8 all over the monitor!!
i do think it should be a class action tho. why didnt i think of this after 15 years of not really knowing what my girlfriends were talking about. when i finally figured it out i was really torked. then i divorced his ass and have been having so much fun since. i know....tmi, but boy did this hit a topic i can relate to.....sad but true

lollyk~ You only divorced his a$$? You might as well have gotten rid of the rest of him while you were at it... ;-)

I would say that it was a totally class-LESS action.....btw - it never mentions whether the partner is a he or a she....nttawwt. But I will say that stopping before your partner comes along for the ride seems to be a male trait.

YES, I finally made someone snork. This is the proudest day of my life.

Wow.
"The Fake News:
Redefining the phrase: 'Low just got lower'"

Yeah baby.
8>

"Police chief Jose Roberto Ferraz is investigating the case."
It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.

This is the first sensible Ananova article I've read.

"We will let the judge decide."

Here come the judge!

Did he at least give her flowers?

"She complained that her 38-year-old partner reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse."

He will probably claim that stopping was inevitable after orgasm -- to which the plaintiff's attorney should respond "That's why there's baseball.

Sarcasmo, you made me snork. That doesn't make me gay, does it?

In Brazil, there are multiple shames
Of suits from orgasmless flames
Your love-making's maligned
And your organ's assigned
With a glance, to a court of 'small' claims

insom~ LOL, as usual. Bravo.

I can just see the commercials now, starring William Shatner, with a catchy 800 number.

"I'm Jim Sokolove. When husbands fail to satisfy you, I make them pay".

Hey sly,

The article was Very sensible.
Not terribly lucid tho.
Like a wierd dream.
8>

Firstly, i like to double post.
Secondly i like to make typos.
Just so you know.

Insomniac.
I've been absent the blog for a while now.
You're even funnier than before.
I'm stunned.

Thank you.
8>

WHOA! We can get SUED for this? Damn, I'd better break out the Kama Sutra before my wife calls her lawyer....

Boy, if i had a nickel for every time that happened - er - TMI - never mind.

There's a law covering this? There's a LAW?!? Tell me please it's international. I want to see a case taken to the Hague.

The Hague? Isn't that where they have the Piece -- er -- Peace Palace?

(Goes to google, will return with apology if incorrect ... with even better puns ... no matter what ...)

Yup!

All those Weekly Reader classes every week finally paid off in something worthwhile ... (?)

I s'pose this plaintiff was upset by her weakly reading on the orgasmotron, eh?

That would explain the handcuffs.

Though every relationship has it's shortcomings.

Every relationship has it's shortcomings.

Insom...superb!!! Damn, the level of wit and intelligence displayed on this blog is just mind-boggling!
As for the crime, I'm curious: Would this be considered Criminal Negligence; or possibly Breach of Contract or Failure to Perform, and thus a civil action (or inaction)? Or does it fall under traffic law, in which case the accused might get off with a speeding ticket (while the plaintiff doesn't get off at all).........?

Insom...superb!!! Damn, the level of wit and intelligence displayed on this blog is just mind-boggling!
As for the crime, I'm curious: Would this be considered Criminal Negligence; or possibly Breach of Contract or Failure to Perform, and thus a civil action (or inaction)? Or does it fall under traffic law, in which case the accused might get off with a speeding ticket (while the plaintiff doesn't get off at all).........?

Is Ananova always orange? Just askin'.

Well that explains alot, U.O.. If one of them was reading, they weren't really paying attention to the matter at hand (so to speak).

Sally -

I s'pose ... even if they were both reading Kama $utra, the content may have been too distracting to allow proper concentration of execution of the fundamentals ... (Ya gotta know the nomenclature ...) ...

Oh sure. BOTH posts show up now!!

What is she suing for?
Attorney: Your Honor, my client is simply seeking mutual sexual satistisfaction and punitive payment of 200 orgasms in a lump sum

"She complained that her 38-year-old partner reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse."

So in other words it was pretty much sex the way 99% of males on the planet do it?

i'd like a dollar value placed on the O's please.

... more than seven ...???

I think I'm gonna need a lawyer......a good one....

At some point during the night, the great BlogMachine seemed to be non-posting then double-posting. Sorry...didn't mean to repeat myself.

Bills said: "So in other words it was pretty much sex the way 99% of males on the planet do it?"

I always knew I should have been born male! ...TMI... *hits self with a sock full o' nickels*

Thanks God I have never given a woman a reason to sue me over this.

Bragging, are we, Addicted? So, umm, where do you live?

Come come now, Artchick; Addicted may simply be a virgin!

*ducks*
*runs away*

She sked me, "Who are you going to please with THAT?"

I said, "Myself."

Dang, I probably shouldn't have put that in the first person. Now everybody knows has the wrong idea.

Well, which is it, Mr Come-pletely? Do we know, or have the wrong idea?

Wait, don't you want to hear my idea first?

I tried to strike out "knows" but apparently don't have the right code.

Sure, I'm game - what's your idea?

And be sure to read my new book, "Dents in the Mattress" by Mr. Completely. (Say it out loud.)

"reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse"

Assault with a dead weapon?

When he could not longer do it, he bought me a "toy". And I should be happy!

Can't wait to see what y'all name this one.

Nice digs, ASK! You landed on my birthday. :)

I don't blame that woman one bit. Maybe I should do the same.

*drags in her figments*

lotion me up CR.

*pretends prior knowledge of it being KDF's birthday*

*pretends no knowledge of what comes up if you g00gle orgasm/davebarryweblog*

ASK, the fact that you didn't know and landed on it anyway says something, I'm just not sure what. But I'm sure it's good. Especially given the current topic! Ahem.

*generously applies lotion to wolfies chaffed area(s)*

*massages KDF's bruised birthday that got landed on*

Wow - we have arrived in a time before Tamara rhymed with Camera!

Lotion day on the Kilt! Thank you, Coast. :)

I'm here.
I'm bookmarked.
I still have nothing to say, but I'd just as soon be with friends. :)

Hmm, KDF - I'll ahve to ask El, but I don't think you can sue me for that if we have never actually been in the same room.

Not that the problem would ever exist, mind you.

Lotion Day?

I'm surprised this is the first one.

Um, paranoid, ASK? I'm not really the litigious type. Besides, I kinda liked it.

I like the notion and motion of Lotion Day - lets make it a habit!

I think we had just previously used pudding.

Shall we recap? Pudding, jello, whipped cream, lotion. Did I miss anything?

feathers. :)

Hmm. the distractions at home are not much different than those at work. But the kids here are cuter.

finger paints!

Morning, all...

*is feeling a bit better, but tries to look pitiful anyway*

Could someone help me out over here, please? I'm having a little trouble reaching some places...

*waits hopefully for judicious lotion application*

Is it bad that ASK and I just had a simul while he was talking about his cute kids?

*applies lotion to sharons hard to reach areas*
It's purely because she is still recuperating you understand

*Arrives huffing and puffing*

*Realizes that's a Wolfie's job, along with doing something or other to a house*

So, do we wish KDF a Happy Birthday or not? *Offers a present for good measure, in hopes of the right answer*

you want judi to apply the lotion?

No, KDF, is isn't.

Free speech trumps all. :)

Not bad, KDF! Just one of those domestic, friendly-type simuls--a purely Platonic simul, if you will.

And

HAPPY B-DAY, KDF!!!

I hope the leather isn't rubbing you the wrong way, Sharon. Then again, I fail to see how there could be a wrong way to rub you. And I brought my own lotion......

Thanks! I like this spring birthday thing!

Purely platonic, ahem, cough, cough. Yeah.

Oooo...thanks, Coast!

*nictitates at ASK*

I wouldn't object, but I think I'm covered at the moment...

{{Blue!}} I've missed ya, pun-buddy! I think soon I might even be recovered enough to attempt to pun. We'll see. I'm cutting back my pain meds today to see how I do. :)

And there's NO WAY my leather warrior punstress outfit chafes...there's no way I could "hide" such discomfort.

...Though I could be per-suede-ed to partake of your special stash of lotion...!

Party time! Sharon's back!

Sharon, you don't exactly need all your wits about you to pun with Blue. I'd say about half would be enough.

Not sure that lotion and orgasms and platonic all go in the same vicinity...

Yeah...that's why I was being all ironical, ASK. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean? Say no more!)

pssst...KDF...I think ASK just called me a half-wit! What should we do about that?

Read more carefully - it was not you that I called that.

OOOOOohhhhhh...I get it.

*snork*

*smooch!* for The ASK.

Hmm...apparently I'm still on too many good drugs. Well, I hope you will all bear with me during these fuzzy and loopy times until I'm back to my old self.

Sharon, good idea about dialing down the pain pills.

But... let's jump him anyway!

Sharon - will you be back from England when Dave gets to St. Louis?

And ssa, your post was not there when I posted. Yayyy for funny timing!

Can we still say "YAYYY"?

evidently Blue's nauga-na take the bait.

Who's got the sock o' nickels? I need it to demonstrate to someone how half a wit is better than none.

Sharon, "hide"-ing is the last thing we would like you to do with any of your parts, especially those that don't always get tanned.

hey sharon - you're soundin' good! :)

*waits for Blue's response to ASK*

Who's got the sock o' nickels? I need it to demonstrate to someone how half a wit is better than none.

Sharon, "hide"-ing is the last thing we would like you to do with any of your parts, especially those that don't always get tanned.

*waits for ASK's response to Blue*

i'm thinking it might be quarters this time.

For some reason, I didn't think the blog heard me there.

But... let's jump him anyway!

Posted by: KDF | 12:33 PM on May 30, 2006

And you expect me to be responding to Blue?

s-girl, shall I pop some corn? It would be my pleather.

*hands blue sockful 'o pounds sterling*

Sorry--I have them left over from my last trip to the UK.

Of course we can still say YAYYY, KDF! It's become a Kilt tradition.

I dunno, ASK (*SNORK* on that pun, btw!)--when will he be in St. Louis?

Hmmm...seems someone dyed the sock blue.

Weird.

7/27, if I recall correctly

*waves to s-girl*

Thanks! Feeling better, though I'm still a pain in my own neck. How's your little one doing?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KDF!!

*wonders why everyone else knew about this except her*

Sharon, Dave's schedule is here. Scroll down to the Peter and the Starcatchers tour.

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