THE FOLKS AT ANANOVA.COM
We must give thanks that they don't live in Hurricane Wilma's Tree-Free Zone, so they are able to concentrate on bringing us truly important news stories.
(Thanks to Collins69S)
« Previous | Main | Next »
We must give thanks that they don't live in Hurricane Wilma's Tree-Free Zone, so they are able to concentrate on bringing us truly important news stories.
(Thanks to Collins69S)
The comments to this entry are closed.
-
Is everybody speechless? Too speechless even to post a FIRST!?!
Posted by: mauigirl | October 25, 2005 at 05:43 PM
I think we have a class action here folks. This woman's partner never gave ME an orgasm either.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | October 25, 2005 at 05:47 PM
sarcasmo- snoked my v-8 all over the monitor!!
i do think it should be a class action tho. why didnt i think of this after 15 years of not really knowing what my girlfriends were talking about. when i finally figured it out i was really torked. then i divorced his ass and have been having so much fun since. i know....tmi, but boy did this hit a topic i can relate to.....sad but true
Posted by: lollyk | October 25, 2005 at 06:04 PM
lollyk~ You only divorced his a$$? You might as well have gotten rid of the rest of him while you were at it... ;-)
Posted by: Bumble | October 25, 2005 at 06:15 PM
I would say that it was a totally class-LESS action.....btw - it never mentions whether the partner is a he or a she....nttawwt. But I will say that stopping before your partner comes along for the ride seems to be a male trait.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 25, 2005 at 06:15 PM
YES, I finally made someone snork. This is the proudest day of my life.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | October 25, 2005 at 06:21 PM
Wow.
"The Fake News:
Redefining the phrase: 'Low just got lower'"
Yeah baby.
8>
Posted by: Psycho Joe | October 25, 2005 at 06:22 PM
"Police chief Jose Roberto Ferraz is investigating the case."
It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.
Posted by: NotInBaghdad | October 25, 2005 at 06:23 PM
This is the first sensible Ananova article I've read.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 25, 2005 at 06:24 PM
"We will let the judge decide."
Here come the judge!
Posted by: insomniac | October 25, 2005 at 06:28 PM
Did he at least give her flowers?
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 25, 2005 at 06:51 PM
"She complained that her 38-year-old partner reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse."
He will probably claim that stopping was inevitable after orgasm -- to which the plaintiff's attorney should respond "That's why there's baseball.
Sarcasmo, you made me snork. That doesn't make me gay, does it?
Posted by: everysandwich | October 25, 2005 at 07:13 PM
In Brazil, there are multiple shames
Of suits from orgasmless flames
Your love-making's maligned
And your organ's assigned
With a glance, to a court of 'small' claims
Posted by: insomniac | October 25, 2005 at 07:17 PM
insom~ LOL, as usual. Bravo.
Posted by: Bumble | October 25, 2005 at 07:23 PM
I can just see the commercials now, starring William Shatner, with a catchy 800 number.
"I'm Jim Sokolove. When husbands fail to satisfy you, I make them pay".
Posted by: Kilmeny | October 25, 2005 at 07:26 PM
Hey sly,
The article was Very sensible.
Not terribly lucid tho.
Like a wierd dream.
8>
Posted by: Psycho Joe | October 25, 2005 at 07:28 PM
Firstly, i like to double post.
Secondly i like to make typos.
Just so you know.
Insomniac.
I've been absent the blog for a while now.
You're even funnier than before.
I'm stunned.
Thank you.
8>
Posted by: Psycho Joe | October 25, 2005 at 07:31 PM
WHOA! We can get SUED for this? Damn, I'd better break out the Kama Sutra before my wife calls her lawyer....
Posted by: Higgy | October 25, 2005 at 07:39 PM
Boy, if i had a nickel for every time that happened - er - TMI - never mind.
Posted by: Eleanor | October 25, 2005 at 07:43 PM
There's a law covering this? There's a LAW?!? Tell me please it's international. I want to see a case taken to the Hague.
Posted by: Sallyacious | October 25, 2005 at 08:10 PM
The Hague? Isn't that where they have the Piece -- er -- Peace Palace?
(Goes to google, will return with apology if incorrect ... with even better puns ... no matter what ...)
Posted by: U.O | October 25, 2005 at 08:26 PM
Yup!
All those Weekly Reader classes every week finally paid off in something worthwhile ... (?)
I s'pose this plaintiff was upset by her weakly reading on the orgasmotron, eh?
Posted by: U.O | October 25, 2005 at 08:29 PM
That would explain the handcuffs.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 25, 2005 at 08:35 PM
Though every relationship has it's shortcomings.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 25, 2005 at 10:47 PM
Every relationship has it's shortcomings.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 25, 2005 at 11:15 PM
Insom...superb!!! Damn, the level of wit and intelligence displayed on this blog is just mind-boggling!
As for the crime, I'm curious: Would this be considered Criminal Negligence; or possibly Breach of Contract or Failure to Perform, and thus a civil action (or inaction)? Or does it fall under traffic law, in which case the accused might get off with a speeding ticket (while the plaintiff doesn't get off at all).........?
Posted by: Betsy | October 25, 2005 at 11:18 PM
Insom...superb!!! Damn, the level of wit and intelligence displayed on this blog is just mind-boggling!
As for the crime, I'm curious: Would this be considered Criminal Negligence; or possibly Breach of Contract or Failure to Perform, and thus a civil action (or inaction)? Or does it fall under traffic law, in which case the accused might get off with a speeding ticket (while the plaintiff doesn't get off at all).........?
Posted by: Betsy | October 25, 2005 at 11:20 PM
Is Ananova always orange? Just askin'.
Posted by: neatfreak | October 26, 2005 at 01:22 AM
Well that explains alot, U.O.. If one of them was reading, they weren't really paying attention to the matter at hand (so to speak).
Posted by: Sallyacious | October 26, 2005 at 01:31 AM
Sally -
I s'pose ... even if they were both reading Kama $utra, the content may have been too distracting to allow proper concentration of execution of the fundamentals ... (Ya gotta know the nomenclature ...) ...
Posted by: U.O | October 26, 2005 at 08:38 AM
Oh sure. BOTH posts show up now!!
Posted by: slyeyes | October 26, 2005 at 08:53 AM
What is she suing for?
Attorney: Your Honor, my client is simply seeking mutual sexual satistisfaction and punitive payment of 200 orgasms in a lump sum
Posted by: Shredder | October 26, 2005 at 08:56 AM
"She complained that her 38-year-old partner reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse."
So in other words it was pretty much sex the way 99% of males on the planet do it?
Posted by: Bill | October 26, 2005 at 09:05 AM
i'd like a dollar value placed on the O's please.
Posted by: crossgirl | October 26, 2005 at 09:13 AM
... more than seven ...???
Posted by: U.O | October 26, 2005 at 09:14 AM
I think I'm gonna need a lawyer......a good one....
Posted by: Morty | October 26, 2005 at 09:50 AM
At some point during the night, the great BlogMachine seemed to be non-posting then double-posting. Sorry...didn't mean to repeat myself.
Posted by: Betsy | October 26, 2005 at 10:52 AM
Bills said: "So in other words it was pretty much sex the way 99% of males on the planet do it?"
I always knew I should have been born male! ...TMI... *hits self with a sock full o' nickels*
Posted by: Tamara | October 26, 2005 at 11:23 AM
Thanks God I have never given a woman a reason to sue me over this.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | October 26, 2005 at 11:47 AM
Bragging, are we, Addicted? So, umm, where do you live?
Posted by: Artchick | October 26, 2005 at 12:17 PM
Come come now, Artchick; Addicted may simply be a virgin!
*ducks*
*runs away*
Posted by: Tamara | October 26, 2005 at 12:42 PM
She sked me, "Who are you going to please with THAT?"
I said, "Myself."
Posted by: Mr. Completely | October 26, 2005 at 04:21 PM
Dang, I probably shouldn't have put that in the first person. Now everybody
knowshas the wrong idea.Posted by: Mr. Completely | October 26, 2005 at 04:30 PM
Well, which is it, Mr Come-pletely? Do we know, or have the wrong idea?
Wait, don't you want to hear my idea first?
Posted by: Tamara | October 26, 2005 at 04:36 PM
I tried to strike out "knows" but apparently don't have the right code.
Sure, I'm game - what's your idea?
And be sure to read my new book, "Dents in the Mattress" by Mr. Completely. (Say it out loud.)
Posted by: Mr. Completely | October 26, 2005 at 04:51 PM
"reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse"
Assault with a dead weapon?
Posted by: louis gehrig | October 27, 2005 at 12:13 AM
When he could not longer do it, he bought me a "toy". And I should be happy!
Posted by: YO | October 28, 2005 at 08:07 AM
Can't wait to see what y'all name this one.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 11:31 AM
Nice digs, ASK! You landed on my birthday. :)
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 11:32 AM
I don't blame that woman one bit. Maybe I should do the same.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | May 30, 2006 at 11:34 AM
*drags in her figments*
lotion me up CR.
Posted by: wolfie | May 30, 2006 at 11:36 AM
*pretends prior knowledge of it being KDF's birthday*
*pretends no knowledge of what comes up if you g00gle orgasm/davebarryweblog*
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 11:40 AM
ASK, the fact that you didn't know and landed on it anyway says something, I'm just not sure what. But I'm sure it's good. Especially given the current topic! Ahem.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 11:45 AM
*generously applies lotion to wolfies chaffed area(s)*
*massages KDF's bruised birthday that got landed on*
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 30, 2006 at 11:47 AM
Wow - we have arrived in a time before Tamara rhymed with Camera!
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 30, 2006 at 11:50 AM
Lotion day on the Kilt! Thank you, Coast. :)
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 11:52 AM
I'm here.
I'm bookmarked.
I still have nothing to say, but I'd just as soon be with friends. :)
Posted by: Eleanor | May 30, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Hmm, KDF - I'll ahve to ask El, but I don't think you can sue me for that if we have never actually been in the same room.
Not that the problem would ever exist, mind you.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Lotion Day?
I'm surprised this is the first one.
Posted by: southerngirl | May 30, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Um, paranoid, ASK? I'm not really the litigious type. Besides, I kinda liked it.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 11:56 AM
I like the notion and motion of Lotion Day - lets make it a habit!
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 30, 2006 at 11:57 AM
I think we had just previously used pudding.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:06 PM
Shall we recap? Pudding, jello, whipped cream, lotion. Did I miss anything?
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:07 PM
feathers. :)
Posted by: southerngirl | May 30, 2006 at 12:08 PM
Hmm. the distractions at home are not much different than those at work. But the kids here are cuter.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:09 PM
finger paints!
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:09 PM
Morning, all...
*is feeling a bit better, but tries to look pitiful anyway*
Could someone help me out over here, please? I'm having a little trouble reaching some places...
*waits hopefully for judicious lotion application*
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:10 PM
Is it bad that ASK and I just had a simul while he was talking about his cute kids?
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:11 PM
*applies lotion to sharons hard to reach areas*
It's purely because she is still recuperating you understand
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 30, 2006 at 12:14 PM
*Arrives huffing and puffing*
*Realizes that's a Wolfie's job, along with doing something or other to a house*
So, do we wish KDF a Happy Birthday or not? *Offers a present for good measure, in hopes of the right answer*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 30, 2006 at 12:14 PM
you want judi to apply the lotion?
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:14 PM
No, KDF, is isn't.
Free speech trumps all. :)
Posted by: Eleanor | May 30, 2006 at 12:15 PM
Not bad, KDF! Just one of those domestic, friendly-type simuls--a purely Platonic simul, if you will.
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:15 PM
And
HAPPY B-DAY, KDF!!!
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:16 PM
I hope the leather isn't rubbing you the wrong way, Sharon. Then again, I fail to see how there could be a wrong way to rub you. And I brought my own lotion......
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 30, 2006 at 12:18 PM
Thanks! I like this spring birthday thing!
Purely platonic, ahem, cough, cough. Yeah.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:19 PM
Oooo...thanks, Coast!
*nictitates at ASK*
I wouldn't object, but I think I'm covered at the moment...
{{Blue!}} I've missed ya, pun-buddy! I think soon I might even be recovered enough to attempt to pun. We'll see. I'm cutting back my pain meds today to see how I do. :)
And there's NO WAY my leather warrior punstress outfit chafes...there's no way I could "hide" such discomfort.
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:21 PM
...Though I could be per-suede-ed to partake of your special stash of lotion...!
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Party time! Sharon's back!
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Sharon, you don't exactly need all your wits about you to pun with Blue. I'd say about half would be enough.
Not sure that lotion and orgasms and platonic all go in the same vicinity...
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Yeah...that's why I was being all ironical, ASK. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean? Say no more!)
pssst...KDF...I think ASK just called me a half-wit! What should we do about that?
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:28 PM
Read more carefully - it was not you that I called that.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:29 PM
OOOOOohhhhhh...I get it.
*snork*
*smooch!* for The ASK.
Hmm...apparently I'm still on too many good drugs. Well, I hope you will all bear with me during these fuzzy and loopy times until I'm back to my old self.
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:32 PM
Sharon, good idea about dialing down the pain pills.
But... let's jump him anyway!
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:33 PM
Sharon - will you be back from England when Dave gets to St. Louis?
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:34 PM
And ssa, your post was not there when I posted. Yayyy for funny timing!
Can we still say "YAYYY"?
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:35 PM
evidently Blue's nauga-na take the bait.
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:36 PM
Who's got the sock o' nickels? I need it to demonstrate to someone how half a wit is better than none.
Sharon, "hide"-ing is the last thing we would like you to do with any of your parts, especially those that don't always get tanned.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 30, 2006 at 12:36 PM
hey sharon - you're soundin' good! :)
*waits for Blue's response to ASK*
Posted by: southerngirl | May 30, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Who's got the sock o' nickels? I need it to demonstrate to someone how half a wit is better than none.
Sharon, "hide"-ing is the last thing we would like you to do with any of your parts, especially those that don't always get tanned.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 30, 2006 at 12:37 PM
*waits for ASK's response to Blue*
i'm thinking it might be quarters this time.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:38 PM
For some reason, I didn't think the blog heard me there.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 30, 2006 at 12:39 PM
But... let's jump him anyway!
Posted by: KDF | 12:33 PM on May 30, 2006
And you expect me to be responding to Blue?
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:40 PM
s-girl, shall I pop some corn? It would be my pleather.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:40 PM
*hands blue sockful 'o pounds sterling*
Sorry--I have them left over from my last trip to the UK.
Of course we can still say YAYYY, KDF! It's become a Kilt tradition.
I dunno, ASK (*SNORK* on that pun, btw!)--when will he be in St. Louis?
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Hmmm...seems someone dyed the sock blue.
Weird.
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:43 PM
7/27, if I recall correctly
Posted by: The ASK | May 30, 2006 at 12:44 PM
*waves to s-girl*
Thanks! Feeling better, though I'm still a pain in my own neck. How's your little one doing?
Posted by: sharon share-alike | May 30, 2006 at 12:45 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KDF!!
*wonders why everyone else knew about this except her*
Posted by: Eleanor | May 30, 2006 at 12:48 PM
Sharon, Dave's schedule is here. Scroll down to the Peter and the Starcatchers tour.
Posted by: KDF | May 30, 2006 at 12:49 PM