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October 14, 2005


We can't imagine why.

(Thanks to James Crewsmith)


(Thanks to -- no kidding -- "Scuzball")


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Notice a guy proposed this....

What'd he want to do? Listen to music while fondling them? Use the line "I married her for her good taste in music and her big b**bs.

bwah ha ha!!!


Wow, she's got great stereo separation. And what headroom!

Dude, check out her mp3 players!

"Honey, the doctor says I wouldn't need the viagra if you'd erase Mandy from your tits."

Well, atleast the MP3 player would already have built in tuning knobs!

Then again, I can see us guys still having problems turning on women...

Let's see... one on one shoulder, one on the other - voila! Stereo! Put my face in the middle and hum along.

Oops. Thinking out loud again. Sorry.

Come to think of it, I bet even "Mandy" would sound good from a pair of these babies.

Brings a whole new meaning to "400 minutes of continuous play time."

Regarding the update:

That's great. Now to make up all I gotta do is send her some virtual flowers, right?

well, guys already treat our nipples like they're tuning devices...

Check out this item... I should cross-post this link in the Executive Dreamhelmet thread....

Gives new meaning to "The Hills are alive with the sound of music". I can hear Julie it singing now.

Oh goody. Maybe someday women will be completely synthetic. MP3s, then maybe a TV implanted, and drink holders and a mini-fridge (god knows where that would go) and...

Erm...too much?


...and automatically makes a roast beef sandwich at midnight.

Anyone ever hear the song by Joe Walsh - I. L. B. T.'s ?
This should be the first song to be played on this...these...whatever.


Are "big jubs" the same as big jugs?

*looks down at her chest*
They look like jugs to me. :)

Mr. Completely...yes! A microwave! Where do we put that?

Eleanor, they look like jugs to me also...just sayin...:)


Rest assured that those are, indeed, jugs.

Those silly Brits have absurd names for just about anything, including "lorry" when they mean "truck". For more, refer to any Austin Powers movie.

I can't believe no one's said this yet:

Scientists are just trying to keep abreast of the latest technologies...

Okay, Mr. Completely, but can you determine the shape of Eleanor's jugs, these very scientific research results?

I'm sitting here trying to picture the "pineapple" shape ... would those be like pears, but larger and more symmetric top to bottom? I've never in my life looked at a set of breasts and thought "pineapple" but maybe that's just me.

an i-boob?

OH! So it wasn't a typo! They really call them jubs in the U.K. - got it!

Pineapples have sharp edges, don't think they'd be much fun to play with - NTTAWWT!

I love the feel of pineapples in the morning...
(Apologies to Robert DuVall)

Doesn't really work for me, and I don't think I'd feel good about myself if some guy looked at my chest and thought to himself: Pineapples, yummy!

OK, I'll stop now.


Sorry, I only use the Braille method of determining jug-shape.

Let's see, I've seen those that looked like bananas and those that looked like fried eggs, but I ain't NEVER seen any that looked like pineapples.

Dang, now I'm hungry.

Dr: "Check this out... bigger boobs."

Girl's S.O.: "Wow."

Dr: "And check this out... MP3 Player."

Girl's S.O.: "You had me at bigger boobs."

So, do I get this right? Every night, the woman would have to plug herself into the computer to sync up with iTunes™?

Lorry: a truck, a long, flat wagon; British railroad word, probably from the Northern English dialect word 'lurry', meaning to pull or tug.

My apologies to Mr Completely for our having the temerity to use a word that you septics don't.

'Septics' is rhyming slang: septic tank = yank.

And 'jubs' has nothing to do with 'jugs' - it's short for 'jubblies'. Another word we invented without asking your permission first. We invented the language, and we're still inventing it. Get used to it.

so what's a jubbly?

You don't often get a single jubbly. They usually come in pairs. Probably connected with the phrase 'lovely-jubbly', of which the dictionary of UK slang says:

Exclam. Excellent! Great! A jocular expression recently popularized in the 1990s, by the cockney character Delboy in the British sit-com Only Fools and Horses. Originally from a 1950s advertisement for an ice lolly, by the name of Jubbly.

More british slang here:

Martinn - you folks may think you invented it (you didn't - it's a Germanic language derived from Indo-European), but we're perfecting it! Who the heck puts a "u" in "color"?

And besides, I DID refer her to any Austin Powers movie for more Brit slang. Except that Cockney rhyming-slang stuff. Those people must be crazy.

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

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