« Previous | Main | Next »

October 21, 2005


The actual truth is worse.

(Thanks to millions of people, but especially Rita)


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Hey, I sent that in.

Thanks to rita. (There, that saves Dave and judi the trouble for amending the post.)

driving with the man's body stuck through his windshield.
That's ... just ... wow. 93 years-old, and he still had a driver's license? I say 'had' because I'm assuming they took it away after this?

MOTW~ Don't bet the farm.

This reminds me of the joke where the lady calls her elderly husband on his cell because he's driving on the interstate and she just heard on the radio that there was somebody driving the wrong way on it. He says, "One? There're hundreds!"

that is horrifying! Like the drive at the Santa Monica Farmers Market. How can you not notice a body stuck through your windshield. Uggh! The driver needs to be in a retirement community where the only thing he can drive is a golf cart

Thanks, MOTW. I just figgered I was the only one who'd seen that today. You know how it is.

Ya know, I read Big Trouble and I thought Dave was joking about Florida traffic (in general, and Miami in particular)... I see now that Dave was Not Making That Up.

Favorite Big Trouble quote: "Was that a goat?"

As the daughter of an Alzheimer's patient (my father) I see no humor in this. I think its tragic, sad and pathetic.

Please pass the Kleenex.

Wow is all I can say.

all too sad. 93 shouldnt probably be driving.

What's worse:
.Demented 93 yr. old man driving
.with a license
.that was renewed
.with a person stuck through windshield
.and this is not the first time someone has done this (old or otherwise)?

It is sad. I feel bad for them both.

On the other hand, it reminds me of my father-in-law. I have only ridden in a car with him once. He's the sort of person who does 75 mph roughly 20 feet behind the car ahead of him. He once yelled at one of my brothers-in-law (who had pointed out that the traffic ahead was slowing) "You don't have to step on your brakes just because the car ahead of you does!"

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug..

Thanks, Dave.

*takes xanax*

Aww, I sent this in too, don't I get a special thanks?
Reminds me of an old guy when I lived in Gainesville, FL, who mowed down a group of kids and in his defense said he thought he was knocking over mailboxes.

Sallyacious: When I die, I want to die like my grampa did, peacefully, in my sleep, not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car.

I just checked out "Big Trouble" at the library a few minutes ago! I just finished "Tricky Business", which was hilarious. I can't wait to start on this one.

The preacher died, went to heaven, and St. Peter showed him to a small hut that was to be his home there. Across the street from him was a taxi driver who lived in a huge mansion. The preacher went to St. Peter to demand a reason for this discrepancy. St. Peter replied, "When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Mr. Completely,

There is a reason I have only ridden with him once. It was the day I met him. My husband was taking me home to meet his family (we had just become engaged) and Dad picked us up at the airport. As soon as I got my sweetie alone I said, "Never again."

By the way, Dave, "Tricky Business" had some bad words in it.

southerngirl~ Consider yourself warned: Big Trouble does, too. :-)

Sean: windshield/bug thing: very funny!!!

I think the weirdest thing about this story is the driver apparently getting quite far along - at least until a toll booth -- before anyone called 911. Are dead bodies in windshields that common that no one bothered to report it earlier?

ugh, on many levels. May my children shoot me before I get to that vegetative state.

First off, I wondered if the credit line meant Hurricane Rita ... [was there a Rita this year? I've lost track ... Any year?] ... 'cuz I could understand how a hurricane could toss a person thru a windshield ... but reading has shown me that it refers to OUR Rita ... congrats, & stuff to you, Rita ...

... otherwise, I realize that the root of most humor is misfortune, and that while we laugh at these jokes and their inherent concepts, some may not think them quite as amusing ... (yes, I laughed, sometimes ... but I, too, have some "real life" experiences with such driving narratives, and the mental deterioration of the aged) ...

so ...


(Hand's A.N. more Kleenex[tm] ...)

Poor man. Poor both of them.

Eleanor - except when you're the bug.

U.O. - Both of my parents died from Alzheimer's, so there's a very very good chance I will too. At my age (48) I'm already starting to freak out anytime I forget something - a name, a word, where I put my keys....

It is scary, and if I don't laugh, I'll scream. I'm with Guin: may my children shoot me before I get to that state (and I don't mean Florida).

On the bright side, the toll booth guy had a much more interesting Friday than usual.

of course, there is also this:

Car Ticketed With Dead Body at the Wheel

Oct 21, 6:26 AM (ET)

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - A traffic warden slapped a parking ticket on a car which had its dead driver slumped at the wheel outside an Australian shopping mall, an official said Friday.

The body of the 71-year-old man, whose identity was not immediately released, was discovered Thursday in a parking lot in the southern city of Melbourne, The Age newspaper reported Friday.

The man had been reported missing nine days earlier and was known to be seriously ill, the newspaper said.
Nevertheless, a parking officer who inspected the vehicle failed to notice the man inside and issued the parking fine two days before his body was discovered.
Paul Denham, the mayor of Maroondah council, where the man was found, said the parking officer was "distressed" to learn that the dead man had been inside the car.
"Our local laws officer checked and wrote out the ticket at the rear of the vehicle and placed the ticket from the passenger side on the windscreen," Denham said in a statement. "The local laws officer did not notice anything unusual regarding the vehicle, and is extremely distressed to have learned of the situation."

so, since we're in the macabre.... this one may actually be worse.

Mr. C -

Not that it'll be any consolation, but I've been forgetting where I put stuff (keys, money, tools ...) for years! ... tho I've begun to wonder about changes in the pattern of my forgetfulness ... also, not exactly related ... my parents both had some memory lapses, but in perspective (15+ years later) I attribute much of that to the medications they were using, more than to the ravages of Alzheimer's ... I just saw this same (general) phenomena while visiting my mother's last living sister (age 80) in Oregon this last week ... meds were more the culprit than age ...

Not that my gene pool traits can offer anything encouraging to yours, just sayin' ...

and ...

yes, please, don't let me get to that state of mind ... I'm afraid of the untold tales I would reveal, when I prefer that my family not learn of some of those escapades/thoughts/nasty stuff ...

I heard another account of this story where the guy drove through another toll booth and the workers that saw him thought it was so surreal that they figured it to be some kind of halloween prank.

They call Florida Heaven's Waiting Room, but people forget most of them drive to the scene.

I'm only going to say this because I am a smartass:

C'bol blog!

Christobol, who is not paying me to post this, and who will probably soon be offering to pay me NOT to post this type of thing, which is only partly the reason I'm posting this, posted the Floatie article yesterday, and the Florida driver one first thing this morning.

Don't make us choose between you and the Cbol, Daveness. I mean, sure, you've got Judi, Walter, international fame, and a smashing array of blue shirts, but Cbol's got... Well, Cbol has... I mean, we love Cbol.


How does a person not notice a dead body in a car when the lean over the windshield to tuck a ticket under the wiper? AAAAAH!

And why didn't the local police put out a report on his license plate if he'd gone missing. Wouldn't that have rung a bell somewhere when the ticket was filed?

Dead body. 9 days. Closed vehicle. It's getting on to summer in Australia. EEEW.

They lean. I meant they lean.

In Illinois, the driver would be charged a second toll because the passenger isn't inside the car. Pay the extra toll and he'd keep on going down the Tri-State Tollway until he got to Indiana, Wisconsin, or via the Ronald Reagan Tollway to Iowa.

Maybe he was from California, where we have carpool lanes. An unexpected passenger would then be a welcome guest....a tad quiet, perhaps, but at least the driver could get where he was going much faster.

Exactly, Annie--anything that qualifies you to drive in the HOV lane...

From the CNN.com article:
"That was the one thing he had, to get in his car and just drive for the sheer enjoyment of driving."
And, you know, killing people.

BTW, my grandfather, who has petit mal seziures on a semi-regular basis (though he doesn't believe that- don't ask) and has smashed several cars in consequence, has also been able to get his driver's liscence renewed. In Florida.

Official State of Florida Slogan (?):

Land of Perpetual Drivers Licenses

My grandmother was losing her eyesight. When we questioned her driving ability (after hitting my friend's kitty), she said, "That's ok - now I only drive on roads that I've memorized." Somehow, that did not make me feel any better.

Somewhat related ...

Many of vous out there have heard the standard joke about the driver (in a rural environment) who was questioned about an accident ...

Why didn't you use your turn signal before turning in front of the oncoming car?

I always turn there ...

Sadly (or, amusingly), I've actually heard this conversation happen (not quite literally in these words, but VERY close), in a post-accident environment ... and the driver being questioned was totally serious in protesting his innocence ...

Sorta scary, too ...

queensbee: I sent that in to Dave this morning, but apparently he is too preoccupied with Walter & Wilma to have noticed.

On the other story the key lines were: A spokesman for the state attorney's office says Parker didn't appear to know what happened or where he was. Parker's license was renewed in 2003.

Thank you, Florida DMV.

Annie: my late in-laws had a friend (yes, in Florida) whose car was hit by an even older woman. When he asked her didn't she see his car she said (and this is a direct quote), "I'm legally blind." WTFBBQ!!!

So who was driving, her seeing-eye dog??? I'm sure she had a nice big heavy car for protection so SHE didn't get hurt. I think every DMV person that renews a driver's license for anyone over 70 should then have to ride with that old coot in a CLOSED COURSE driving exam, replete with fake people and animals jumping out from the sidewalks....

Jeff - your comment to Annie reminds me of the movie If You Could See What I Hear (circa 1982). The blind guy was driving the van, and when the cops pulled him over and asked why he was driving, he said, "I was the only one who was sober."

My uncle has macular degeneration but still drives. His wife never learned to drive; but they claim they have it all worked out; she tells him when to stop, when to turn, etc.

I'm glad we live on the other side of the state.

I'll never forget the time, some years back, when I was getting my license renewed at the DMV office on Hillsborough Avenue, in Tampa. I was filling out my forms and looked up to see a portly old guy who had just passed the test and gotten his license renewed, and he was bumbling around the room something fierce because he couldn't find the door to get out.

And then there was the old guy who was charged with running a red light and told the judge, "It's just not fair, Your Honor. What about all the green lights I've stopped for and I've never gotten proper credit?"

Then there's the guy I blew by going 125 mhp. Talk about over-reacting. He yanked the steering wheel to the right and drove thru a ditch doing 70 mph. Jeez.

"Florida--The Vegetative State".
I won't even get STARTED on the permissive OFFICIAL attitude toward shooting people.

I get hit by cars all the time, and sometimes ride their hoods until they hit the breaks, but I haven't went threw a windshield yet. I wonder how that feels?

You know, when the old guy drove through Santa Monica's closed street market, my boyfriend and I had an argument. He said "this will finally wake people up, and reform will be done on how easily old people can renew their licenses." I said that since old people are generally the only people who vote, no politician would ever take a stance to take away anything old people think they have a right to, so it would blow over and nothing would happen.

I was right.

And to the person whose father has alzheimers, so this story made her sad rather than angry- You have hidden his car keys, I hope?

mag - he's in a professional care facility, so I guess you could say yes, we have.

Ha-ha! What a funny joke "Rita" played on Dave B.

"Rita" ... or should I say "Ralph Parker!"

Ummm, who's "Ralph Parker"?

The comments to this entry are closed.

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise