LET'S SEE IF WE UNDERSTAND THIS CORRECTLY
You want to take an animal that is famous for sticking its nose into crotches, roadkill, and poop, and you want to put this around its neck?
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
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King Wingbipeekaboo Etc., frankly, is just as puzzled as Dave is. Which reminds him of Senator Quayle.
Posted by: King Wingbipeekaboo Etc. | October 03, 2005 at 10:20 AM
That ought to go over big down at the junkyard:
Spike: Hey, Bruno, what is that on your collar?
Bruno: That? Oh, that's nothing.
Spike: Wait, is that an ionizer? Hey guys, Bruno's wearing an ionizer! Ha ha ha ha!
Bruno: [Swallows Spike whole]
Posted by: Chianca at Large | October 03, 2005 at 10:23 AM
Is this item for the health of the wearer or the owner? I don't have my reading glasses to me, but I think the small print read something like this, "Contains small amounts of snake oil and a certificate of ownership to some Swamp Land."
Posted by: MOTW | October 03, 2005 at 10:24 AM
OR.....and this is just a brainstorming idea but... you could regularly wash your dog instead.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | October 03, 2005 at 10:35 AM
I looked hard for the dead-giveaway word or phrase that would prove that this was a joke. Could not find one. Am dumbfounded.
This thing weighs 6 ounces. I seems to me that Fido would loosen a few of his own teeth the first time he chased a squirrel around the yard with this thing hanging from his collar.
Posted by: mudstuffin | October 03, 2005 at 10:53 AM
It's in there, mud.
"ImproveS the qUality of your pet's breathable air. Emits ions that attraCt airborne pollutants and eliminates most bad odors and pet dander. WorKs similarly to popular room ionizERS, but on a smaller scale. Reduces microscopic allergens in the air that may cause your pet to scratch. Simply attach to your pet's collar with included S-hook and switch on. Comes with a cleaning Brush and storage pouch. WEighs 6 oz and uses tWo AAA batteRiEs, not included."
Posted by: MOTW | October 03, 2005 at 11:06 AM
Between the allergies and draining the anal sacs I can see how having a dog relieves stress..
Posted by: Sean | October 03, 2005 at 11:10 AM
No, no...this isn't so your dog doesn't SMELL bad...it's so that your dog can breathe ionized air. Your dog can still stink to high heaven, but at least the air he inhales will be purified.
I'm sure you remember back in prehistoric times when the wild dogs became domesticated through their attraction to the caveman's Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Quadra.
Posted by: Betsy | October 03, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Draining Anal Sacs wbagnfaRapGroup
Posted by: MOTW | October 03, 2005 at 11:15 AM
MOTW, aptly put.
Posted by: KOW | October 03, 2005 at 11:20 AM
Fido: Gee Rover, you have an extra bounce in your step today..What gives ?
Rover:Its my new air ionizer my human got me..Works great!
Fido: What's it do ?
Rover: Not sure exactly..Science stuff..But it's as though I never REALLY smelled dog ass before I started wearing it! And the roadkill ? Forgettaboutit!!
Posted by: Sean | October 03, 2005 at 11:29 AM
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This is the message I got. No Fair!!
*goes to corner to pout*
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | October 03, 2005 at 03:19 PM
Interesting. I have one of those (the human model) for wearing on airplanes. If you listen very closely, it emits a nearly inaudible, high frequency squeal. You know, like a dog whistle? This must drive the mutts crazy! (I'd like to see some video of this.)
Posted by: AlanBoss | October 04, 2005 at 12:19 AM
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