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October 19, 2005


This blog doesn't even know for sure what "bluetooth" is. And now COWS are getting it.

(Via Gizmodo)


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Dave - Bluetooth is what the cows get when they eat smurfs. I thought everyone knew that.

Wow. This breakthrough is big enough to make me want to breakdown and buy a cow.

Hey Fed, then how do they get blue balls?..Oh..Nevermind.

Can I say that "Moo" wbagnfarb?

i'm always the last to get anything new and NOW even livestock are more technologically advanced than me. i'll be listening to my 8 tracks if anyone needs me.

LOL, Boo!
Anybody else thinking of Far Side?
(parody) "Ha, Ha, Elsie! My farmer is taking me to the vet's to get tutored!"
"Yeah? Well, I'm going to the dentist to get BlueTooth!"

I can hear the Verizon commercial now: "Can you mooooo me now? Good!"

This really has some serious social ramifications. I really hope they keep this away from cows in Britain.

What do you want to bet that Popiel will come up with a compact tail elevator, to facilitate the conversation.

tropic guy - "Sexually transmitted diseases are on the increase in the UK. One in 10 people under the age of 25 have Chlamydia." Toothing contributes to chlamydia. Who knew?

now those guys in Iceland who want to keep their breed (of cows) pure will be able to track any incoming Danish bovines.

Rick H - It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: "Incoming Danish Bovines" WBAGNFARB.

And soon we'll see farmers getting busted for livestock porn which the cows downloaded in the barn....

i was thinking that my self

that it should go without saying.

Big deal. Paul Bunyon's ox, Babe, had blue teeth.

Bluetooth lets devices communicate with each other. So, if you had a camera and a printer that were bluetooth-enabled, you'd be able to print pictures via a download from the camera without having to mess around with wires to hook everything up.

I'm not sure about you, but I don't want cows getting near my camera and doing any "downloads".

Tropic(etc.) Guy - I think the most disturbing thing about your link is the phrase "Psychologist Linda Blair..." - all I can see is that poor little demon-possessed, pea-soup-spewing, head-rotating girl in a lab coat.

Yes, I know psychologists don't wear lab coats. I never said I was normal.

That enables farmers to monitor the location and health of each animal

Are cows THAT difficult to keep track of?!

Meanwhile, I _just_ learned about Bluetooth in a class ... so I'm very pleased to know that, already, the new technology is being used in a thoroughly pointless fashion. Boo-ya.

For those who care - Bluetooth has been around for a few years now - so long, in fact, that many had already written it off as a failed technology when it didn't immediately take hold.

So, I guess that comment's for nobody, really.

thanks, Brainy

"Cows. Why did it have to be cows?"

Also, "The Bluetooth Mesh System" WBAGNFARB!

My Texas cows have been blue-toothed enabled for years to monitor their cell phone activity. Their cell phone overage charges were outrageous last month. Don't even get me started on their text-messaging charges.

So we have learned from tropichunt that Bluetooth is code for "Let's Get Together and Do Something Dirty and Not Tell Each Other Our Names".

I hope Dave knows this - a faux pas could really land you in trouble!

Bluetooth is also what enables you to wear an earpiece and answer your cellphone without actually opening your phone. So you walk around looking like you're talking to yourself. It's getting harder to tell the psychotics from the businessmen and women.
Transferring this theory to cows, they'll be standing in fields all over America "moo-ing" seemingly randomly. But now they'll have someone to moo to.

Dave, seriously, this means that you can pull on a cows udders to type blog posts. It may take a little getting used to, but one clear advantage is that it gets rid of at least one of the wires on your desk. Another clear advantage is that you get a fresh glass of milk with every paragraph you write.

Judi... A bluetooth oosik is currently in the development pipeline. Also, I just noticed that "oosik" sounds like "Ewwwwwwww!!! Sickkkkk!!".

There's something rotten in Denmark.


With the bird flu that could possibly mutate this second into the Biggest Threat To Human Society Ever(tm), I'm more worried about the similar crossover possibilities with Hoof and Mouth disease...

'Toothing' takes some perseverance...

as opposed to actually get to know the person?

Why buy the cow when you get free evenings and weekends and 500 rollover minutes with activation?

I'll stick with my dialup cows, thanks.

Didn't Gateway already prove you can't make good computers from cows?

see it here

Bluetooth: It's what's for dinner.

Sorry... that was udderly ridiculous.

Dear s.j.,

Cute, but in my professional opinion, that bluetooth thing is a bull, not a cow. You cannot milk a bull. Even those hi-tech Danish people cannot milk bulls yet.


The Blog's Bovine Sex Expert

bovine sexpert, you may be correct. but then again, some cows have horns.

the site which "loaned" the pic said it was a cow. i assume they had a better view of the equipment than i did :)

but if "man" can be the generic for humanity, may not "cow" be the generic for bovinity?

Now i know that some cultures worship cattle, but not as a god. I propose elevating the lowly cow to a divinity...and it would be referred to as "bovinity". Sorry for stealing your word SJ! :)

that's okay, cad.

but cows as divinity... isn't that hinduism?

holy cow!

Sign me up

Bluetooth? It's obvious from this report that Dave is ruining some of the finest minds in America, and having too much fun doing it.

I see that the quality has not suffered in my absence ... gives me an idea of how important I am ...

r.e. the Bluetooth ... that's what I decided to not use, and went with the "regular" (?) wireless dealy instead ... which I bought on Saturday in Corvallis, and am now using for the first-time-ever, in Missoula, MT ... I like it ... but if it was blue, would I be sad, too?

The Danish have never heard of border collies? They're wireless, too, you know.

Boarder Coolies?

Aren't they the ones that pay outrageous amounts to be smuggled into the USA so they can slave away and send money home to China so the rest of their families can join them?


A lot you know!! Breeder Cooties are the kind that multiply Immediatly after touching the grossest kid in class!

Sunny -

My Bad!

I thot them were the Carrier Coolies ... the ones who tote all the rich guy's luggage ...

... or was that those little foam thingies you put around your beer can ... ?

I forget just now ...

Bluetooth is a marvelous technology that will make you cows work great until you have something really important to do with the cow, at which point the bluetooth will crap out and you have to switch o old fashioned manual cow technology.

I know whereof and whereabouts of cow technology -- both with acquisition of certain desirable production characteristics, and with gathering and disposal of unnecessary byproducts ... I've milked 'em, and I've shoveled up after 'em ...

To update a classic Gary Larson cartoon, picture the cows standing around communicating with one another, text messaging, cel phone, faxes, the works. Suddenly a message goes out over their Bluetooth network: "CAR!"

They all log off and get down on all fours, and are innocently munching grass as the car drives by.

technology is the best thing inthe world. i remembr when i got my gameboy pocket and pokemon red game. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!

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