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October 26, 2005


I apologize for not blogging, but I spent most of yesterday getting back home. We flew to Orlando and drove south on the Florida Turnpike, passing a gazillion cars going the other way, fleeing the no-electricity zone. We weaved through fallen trees to get to our house, which was damaged a bit, but nothing serious. We lost some trees, but they'll eventually come back home, once they get hungry. We have no power, of course, but we do have water AND air. I'm blogging via a dialup connection that operates at the speed of FEMA, so I probably won't be putting much up here for a while, though I'll try.

Walter is fine.


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Hurray! (and first)


How slow is it?
- operates at the speed of FEMA
- thunders along like a herd of turtles through peanut butter in winter

C'mon, bloglits, let's fill in the blanks and have some fun!

glad you and yours made it home safely and that the house is still there.

i am having a difficult time imagining that there were many trees left to be "lost" or have you adopted some strays?

Note to Eleanor: please don't ZIP on this thread and make Dave feel badly.

Glad everyone, including Walter is safe.

MOTW - old expression inspired by frosty mornings walking across a cow pasture:

Slower'n smoke off of sh*t.

*moseys in*

Slower'n molasses in the winter time.

*moseys out*

Glad you're okay Dave! If you need Terrence's help, just let me know! That monkey's raring to go!

Thanks for the oosik update! (And I'm glad you and the family are OK too!)

slower than church music....
slower than two in the bush?
slower than licking a gift horse in the mouth?
slower than the speed of dark?

Glad you're okay Dave! If you need Terrence's help, just let me know! That monkey's raring to go!

Hang in there Dave.

Slower than a slow-motion replay of the Siberian mid-winter slow-race championships, dead slug division.

Wow, water AND air. Party at Dave's!

as slow as a teenager doing chores,

and, my personal favorite,

it's so slow it can't get out of it's own way.

-slower than a tax return at mortgage time.
-slower than a Florida driver in the left lane.
- " " most of the customers at my store.
- " " a glacier on Ritalin.
- " " the orbit of the earth through the NASA cam paused on Tivo.
- " " the passing of time while waiting for the last few seconds to pass by before 5:00.
- " " the signal change from red to green at 2AM at an intersection when there is no one coming and when no one has come for 5 minutes.
- " " my ability to come up with these.

Dave, you should have told me you were in town, I could have kept you all company. "This is my place, there's a wall, and if you look 3 feet to your right, you'll see the other wall. You can sleep here... [points to couch that is hilariously too small]"
You missed out.

Slower than a judge who can't make a decision....

*NOT zipping in*

I'm glad you and yours are OK, Dave. I have some very tall palm trees in my back yard that my neighbor wants me to get rid of.
Want me to send them your way? :)

Yeah, I guess after the 50th or so storm the whole "Let's pretend we're camping!" line starts to feel greasy in your mouth.

I say go with "Let's pretend we're in Cleveland!"

Slower than Kevin Federline's brain composing a thought...

slower than KFed doing long division?

(oh, who am I kidding?, he has people for that!)

yanya8 - great minds etc. etc.

Slower than Florida election results.

Slower than Florida election results.

DOH! Double poster....

Nice bit of mind reading there, Dave -- you knew that some people would be more concerned about Walter. Not me, of course, but some people.

Another alternative for "let's pretend we're camping" would be "let's pretend we're in Colorado after a fall snowstorm brings down the tree limbs and power lines". The major differences, presumably, would be that you'll need fewer blankets and your generator starts more easily than mine.

(Slower than the post card I mailed to work from Grand Cayman on the 10th and which arrived yesterday?)

You might as well blog, it's not like there's anything else to do there right now, other than pick up the shattered wreckage of a broken, miserable existence. But hey, horrific natural disasters striking on a near-daily basis is what brings we Floridians together!

Slower than customers leaving a store at closing time.
Why can't they get the %#@* out of the store when we announce it's time to close?!?

Glad you're all safe; hope you get power back soon!

Glad you're okay. Hope the generator holds up for the duration. Glad Walter held down the fort in your absence.

a haiku

Dial-up. The modem.
The blogger waits. Download slow.
Like bad bowel movement.

Slower than a social worker coming to a diagnosis.....

Slower than a State Government, deciding a sex offender is dangerous.....

Slower than my brain on a good day...

Slower than me getting to Retirement age.....

EB.In Winter, things get REAL slow up here in North Dakotee


Is it true that the damage to your home had nothing to do with the storm, but was rather the result of "Oosiks Gone Wild XII - Walter Does Dave's".

That video series continues to search for an audience.


Also, if you need rebuilding assistance, I can get you in touch with my mother. Every week growing up she told me she was having my room declared a federal disaster area, so she clearly knows how such things work.

Slower than the Britney Spears diet.

Slower than the president's ability to compelete a sentence.

Seriously Dave,
Glad you made it home ok just be on the look out for monekys (i bet they took your trees).

I suggest you keep Walter out of the hot tub, just in case the electric comes back on.

Glad to here you weren't sucked into Epcot, and the dinner was a success. It seems natural disasters also brings out the best in bloggers too.

And russell, you might want to look into the speed of dark...anyone who has been to a graveyard on Halloween can tell you that the dark will just whiz right past you at incredible speed.

mud - Great haiku. And thanks for the totally unexpected, full frontal, French vanilla coffee snork.

slower that Mrs. Trump's realization that, yes, it is all about her looks.

I hear she's expecting, I hope she's not gonna be huuuuuge!

I promise I won't feed your trees if they come begging at my door. We have enough stray trees already.

Slower than Ensbergs Bat speed in last nights game 3 of the World Series.

And I agree with Cbol, dude, he had to be drunk.

Stoopid Asstros. (NTTATWWT)

see now, i should connect dubya with my mother.. she finishes everybody's sentences!!

Slower than the hours that pass while my husband is gone on a business trip (sniffle!)

Slower than the hours that pass on a car trip to South Dakota with two hyperactive kids (are we there yet?)

Slower than the last school day before Christmas break (tick...tick...tick...tick...)

slower than the delivery of stamps ordered from usps.com

7 days and counting.

Slower than a box of hair.

So slow, even the mice are hunchbacked.

water..... air..... dial up... what about ice for the beer?????

**doing happy dance after learning walter is safe.**

Aunt Nancy Slower than the last school day before Christmas break.
Or the last day of break, when the parents can't wait for them to go back to school.

Found this quote:
"If they try to rush me, I always say, I've only got one other speed and it's slower."

pogo, that's great.
Bismuth, that's pretty dang slow.
FCDA - that's priceless, coming from your intelligent point of view.

Slower than old people screwing.

Mud: *SNORK*

Glad to hear that his Daveness, Walter and his Daveness' family are all ok.

Come home trees! Please, come home!

Slower than traffic headed east on the 401 out of Toronto on a Friday at 3pm during a snow storm (or a sunny day - it's about the same).

Slower than the woman in the Express Check-out Line at the grocery store who is talking on her cell phone, ignoring her bratty child throwing the candy on the floor, rummaging in her Louis Vuitton Samsonite-sized purse for a 10-cent coupon, while shaking out pennies on the counter and arguing with the Hispanic clerk that he put in the wrong code for Albino Radicchio.

Albino Radicchio WBAGNFARB

Slower than the counter help at my local Burger King. When I went there for lunch the other day, I greeteed her (As as joke...) with "Hi! Do you work here?" And her response was classic: "Heck no! I work at a *good* Burger King! I'm just here today because someone is out sick, and I'm filling in..." While that thought was still digesting, she asked for my order. Why not go for the gold medal? "Yeah, I'd like an Egg-McMuffin, fries, and a Big Mac, with light sauce." She thought that one over for a second, and said "Sorry, sir, we can't do that. This isn't McDonalds!". So I, naturally, said "It isn't? How could I have gotten this so wrong?" and promptly turned and left the store. She was still trying to figure out what just happened even as I left the parking lot. Honestly, you could almost feel the gears stripping....

I think "Fun with Fast-Food Help" could merit a column or two...


Slower than Britney Spears realizing that I really do not care!

Slower than the World Series Game 3 last night -- longest WS game ever!

slower than a one-legged marathon runner...

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