ADVISORY TO RESIDENTS OF HOYTE'S VILLAGE

Run for your lives. Or at least mosey for your lives.

Key Name: Verity Beckles

Comments

[Lt. Woman]

First!

Alternatively, you could call Emeril. He'd probably bring his own butter and garlic.

[Wahooligan]

Curse these so-called reporters! Why do they never answer the obvious? How did the African snails get there? Why are they only a problem in these yards now? And, after so many generations in the islands, haven't they earned the right to be called Caribbean snails, instead of being referred to as foreigners? People can be so mean to immigrants.

And only this blog could induce me to google the phrase "giant african snail."

[Sallyacious]

This reminds me of James and the Giant Peach, though I can't really explain why...

[insomniac]

and how 'giant' are they? Has the Morton Salt Co. pledged to solve the problem?

Would The Snail Who Slimed Verity Beckles be a good name for a Western?

[Wahooligan]

Insomniac, you'd need a lot of salt. Or a really, really big duck. Here's a helpful government picture, wherein the snails are too big to fit on the hand they're posing on.

Now I am wondering why, when you keep them as pets, you are not supposed to feed them iceburg or other head lettuce, but only fancy dark green leaf lettuce. Is pedestrian lettuce not good enough for them? Are they cranky-celebrity types of snails? I also found out they are hermaphrodites, and that Florida spent $1,000,000 getting rid of them after a Miami resident smuggled them in. Ah, the wonders of the internet.

[Aunt Nancy]

*goes to Wahooligan's link*

*looks at picture*

Great flyin' furballs! Those things are huge!!!

*scratches Saint James off her list of places to visit*

[Addicted to 24]

Since it is snails he should show up just in time.

[kj]

The snails are mildly worrisome. What really has me concerned, or at least scratching my head, is that Verity Beckles is a MAN, baby!

[Sondra]

That has got to be the coolest snail I've seen in my life!! Thanks for the link, Wahooligan!

BUT, there's no amount of money in the world that would induce my to clean whatever they are kept in as pets.

[Goog L]

Finally! A reason to visit the Bahamas. To check out THESE bad boys.

(NOTE TO THE UNINITIATED: Don't go! The only decent thing in all of the Bahama Islands is, of all things, an English pub that serves terrific Shepard's Pie. Nary a snail in it.)

I like s-car-go a lot but something that size has GOT to be tough and chewy. Yuck.

[Ivory Bill Woodpecker]

"The Really Big Ducks" WBAGNFARB!

[Sondra]

Goog L,

I love the fabrics of the Bahamas.

[AlanBoss]

"mosey for your lives." *snork!*

Hey, all they really need is a really big box of salt!

[Alex]

All these people have to do is donate more to Mr. Snail. If Mr. Snail had made the World Series, then the snails would've been busy watching that instead of eating everyone's plants.

[Martinishark]

A friend I knew who was into gardening was the first to hip me to the tested method of using beer to trap and kill snails ad slugs. That sounded like the ONLY use I could think of for lite beer.

[Willie Nelson]

You could always feed the light beer to my horses. My men have whiskey.

[Guin]

I thought that hedgehogs ate snails. Wasn't there a blog about someplace in England that had too many hedgehogs? Why not just transplant the hedgehogs to the snail-infested village? Voila - fat hedgehogs and no snails!