WHY THIS IS THE GREATEST DARNED NATION ON THE WHOLE DARNED EARTH

Because we are undaunted. We have no daunts at ALL.

(Thanks to Paul A. Sand)

Comments

[Martinishark]

Quick, Those poor souls need help--NOW!!!!

[Martinishark]

Yesssssss...1st

Or, in light of urinating stautues, #1.

[Addicted to 24]

And FEMA does nothing.

[cyn]

Heeee ... Classic nola `tude!

Let the Good Times Roll!!

[Eleanor]

When all else fails:

Bring back the barter system!!!
Smart sign!

[AllieKat]

I would say "oh please... get off your butts and lend a hand!" but that wouldn't be very funny.

Also,

...I saw this guy in a wheelchair and he was goin over this hill really fast and he was like WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

[Bumble]

Could someone please direct me to the original post about the Japan-caused-Katrina conspiracy? I can't remember exactly when it was posted and haven't found it yet. I mentioned it in English class today; we were talking about how things that are perfectly logical are sometimes nuts (we've been reading Jonathan Swift) and I brought this up; nobody had heard about it. *keeps looking*

[Kilmeny]

Gotta have your priorities, man.

[Eleanor]

It was about a weather guy quitting his TV job - wait a minute -

Is this it, Bumble?

[Bumble]

Oh, wait. I think I'm mistaken. I didn't originally read that story on the blog. I happened to see it in the headlines of the yahoo home page and read it. I usually don't read anything on the internet that's not posted here, so I just assumed I read it here. Hmm. Wonder if it'd still be in archives there somewhere? I'll have to look. I did want that one too though El; thanks.

[Bumble]

Ah. Here it is. It helps to be looking in the right place. :-)

[U.O]

There are Sicilians in Japan?

[Bumble]

Oh crap. That's the same article, isn't it? Just different format. I thought I'd found it. Guess not.

[Bumble]

OK. I think one of these is what I originally read.

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2005/09/08/kgbkatrina.shtml

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn1050908J5463.html

Probably the second one. I'll leave now. :-)

[VictoriaE77]

Well, It's too late to send any ice with my husband. He left Friday.

He'll just have to drink warm beer with the residents.

[slyeyes]

FEMA sent the ice to Maine

Seriously.

Guess they wanted to keep it safe from Rita.

[Chianca at Large]

Hopefully the ice in Maine will be enough to preserve the waning perkiness of that particularly news team.

I hope it's a lot of ice.

[Chianca at Large]

You can fill in your own word after "particularly."

[slyeyes]

Word has it that FEMA shipped the word after "Word" to Nome, Alaska for safe keeping.

[slyeyes]

Take two:

Word has it that FEMA shipped the word after "PARTICULARLY" to Nome, Alaska for safe keeping.

The word after "Word" is "after"...or "to"

*

I'm done.

[AlanBoss]

Speaking of FEMA, I just heard on tonight's news that FEMA has hired Michael Brown back as a consultant to...(wait for it)...figure out what went wrong!!!!!! I am NOT making this up.

[U.O]

Bumble -

r.e. your encouraging and/or supportive comments on my singing (on the guitar thread) ...

Well, I useta sing better, but I'm out of practice ... what really might have been the largest cause of the many requests I've received to PLEASE DO NOT SING ... was the time when I sorta let my mind wander while in church ... and when we got to the singing version of the Our Father, I chimed right in with

... was the keeper of the Eddystone Light ...

... and that's sorta when I figgered out that a career in music was not the best choice available to me ...

[Bumble]

U.O~ With the help of a brief google search, I get it. *snork*

I lead the singing of praise and worship music at my church when we do it (which isn't very often; we're one of the few hymn churches left) and one Sunday we were closing with the song "You are my all in all." There's a line in it that goes "seeking you as a precious jewel" and right after we sang it, I looked into the congregation. One of the elders and his wife sit in front of my mother, and when I glanced over at them I noticed they were shaking with barely contained laughter. The kept trying to get themselves back under control, but every time they tried to continue singing they would burst out laughing again. Then I started laughing just watching them; the rest of the congregation probably thought me quite irreverent. Anyway, after the service I went over there and asked what was so funny. The elder's wife, hardly able to speak from laughing told me that her husband had been singing along lustily with the rest of us and had belted out the phrase "seeking you as a precious rock" and that they couldn't stop laughing afterward. I don't know about people sometimes.

[Christobol]

When I was five or so I couldn't remember any of the words to the songs in church, so I'd sing along in the tune of whatever we were singing, but using words I did know, such as the themes to the Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island.

Nearby families seemed to enjoy it.

[U.O]

Well, yeah ... there's a whole ... collection? ... of those sort of things somewhere ... dunno if it's made it to 'net files (for googling) yet ... hymn lyrics (from little kids) such as ...

Gladly, the cross-eyed bear ...

What a friend we have in Cheeses ...

I forget the rest ...

and then, there's the one about the mom who wondered if her son payed attention in church, so asked him about the sermon topic ...

"Yeah, the pastor said, 'Don't worry, you'll get your quilt' ...

(Eventually translated as: "Fear not, thy comforter cometh ...)

Whatever ...

(Sincerely hope that my earlier reference about Eddystone Light doesn't interfere with anyone's mental perceptions during future spiritual events ... BTW, Oleanna works in the same general context [tho the connectoin is a bit more tenuous], esp. if the hymn is a rousing, up-tempo, revival-type melody ...)

[U.O]

Also, I once participated in a service where the guitar-playing song-leader put "Amazing Grace" lyrics to the melody of "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" ...

Try it (if you're interested) ... it fits the scansion perfectly ... and, it sorta got the group awake (it was an early morning prayer breakfast at a convention) ...

[U.O]

... I think it interfered with a few hangovers, tho ... which, now that you mention it, mighta been the leader's purpose in the first place ...

whatever ...

[insomniac]

and there's the oft-repeated (by me) ability to fit the words to 'Amazing Grace' to the Gilligan's Island theme.

[Sarcasmo]

Keeping with the current theme, my brother once sang the following in Sunday School:

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Give me a bar with a good lookin' woman, then just get outta my way(an old country song for the non-geezer set)

[Somewhere North]

There is one hymn, can't remember which one, which fits perfectly to the muppets theme song lyrics. I can't ever take it seriously after that.

[crossgirl]

we went from keeping beer cool to singing in church. hmmmmmmmmmmm, ya'll must be members of my favorite congregation.

[Bumble]

One of the guys who leads the services at my church tries to direct a little when we're singing hymns, and lately one of the little girls in the church has taken to waving her arms in the air and imitating him. I try not to look at her because it makes me want to bust up laughing. He's standing there so solemn trying to give us the beat, and she's out there grinning and waving her arms.

There was a commercial for a local radio station a while back; people singing what they thought were the lyrics to oldies on the radio. One was a little girl in a car seat singing "She's got a chicken to ri-I-ide. She's got a chicken to ride." I can't remember any of the others, but that one cracked me up.

[Somewhere North]

And just to tie up this thread, it is wrong to drink warm beer in church while singing hymns. Unless it is a hymn with lyrics that are interchangeable with main stream tv shows. Then a little nip is permissible. But first we need the ice.

[Aunt Nancy]

Whaddaya mean we have no daunts? What about Dante Hall? Daunte Culpepper? Huh? Huh?

Anybody else got some daunts?

[U.O]

Yeah, A.N. ... how about when we act like parents, and say, "Now, daunt do that!"