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August 02, 2005


As a person attuned to animals, I immediately bonded with a tortoise named Goliath. It was almost as though I could sense what he was thinking. He was thinking: "Some moron is sitting on my back." Metrozoo_013


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When you were done, did you let him sit on your back?

Nice shirt Dave! Aqua blue this time?

My first thought is "Open sandals. Animal enclosure. Better get the hose ready."

Someone let a turtle get into Dave's enclosure!!

goofy pic dave. you need to get back to writing your column.

Is this the zoo in los angeles and does the turtle feel it when you are sitting on it?

Ooh! Ooh! Can we see judi holding it's oosik?

When I saw the smile on Dave's face as he sat on the tortoise I thought, "We're never going to see another column again; he's having way too much fun this way."

If nothing else, there are no deadlines this way. I would bet a large amount of money that no cigar-chomping editor ever shouted "Doggone it Barry, I said I need a picture of a rhino eating a carrot out of your ear and another picture of you sitting on a giant tortoise by 5 p.m. or it's your job!"

Very sexy pose, Dave. Also: Look! Goliath is smiling!

Dave, seriously, try some Preparation H.

love the new shirt!
having too much fun? i guess the goofy smile of delight says it all.

I'm thinking Dave is using his "come-hither" look to attract the wrong sorts of mammals...

good thing you stopped him before he darted into traffic.

hmmmmmm, they both have the same goofy grin.

Hang on Dave! Any minute he's gonna start bucking!

Metrozoo is not in LA. It is in miami on south 200th street I think. I've always wondered why they put it so far from the city. My only hypothesis is that half the animals were already there when it was built.

Wait, they just let people walk in and sit on the animals?

excuse me. I have an appointment with a certain zebra.

I'm not so sure the tortoise is grinning. I think he's muttering, "Dang! How do I keep getting these things stuck to my shell!"


Sophie: Dad, go sit on the tortoise.
Dave: oh, no, I couldn't.
Sophie: pleeeeeeease?
Dave: weeeeeeell, OKAY!!! Honey, get the crapcam! and make sure you get my good side!
Turtle: take. picture. now. please. feet. bending. wrong.
Dave: shut up and smile to my public.

What the picture does'nt show is that sophie had just learned the super glue trick and well dave has a new best friend for life.


Love the new camera Dave

Well, the good news is that all four judges gave you over 20 points for style, Dave. The bad news is they each gave the turtle a 1. Maybe it's because it didn't move. Some claim it died over a week ago.

Rodeo judging is rather subjective, I'm afraid.

Who can laugh that hard without farting?

How long after the photo was taken did security "show you to the gate"?

Love the new blog site!

Amy, judging from the expression on the turtle's face, I'd say Dave farted.

Yeah, but a moron with sexy legs!

while almost anyone can aspire to be a tortoise jockey, it takes a REAL man to ride one side-saddle.

Wait, I don't get it...

Is this a photo being submitted to a dating service for the turtle or Dave?

(NOTE: Dave, if it's for you, I won't tell your wife, I promise...)

I've heard of popping a turtle head, but that's ridiculous.

Ralph Lauren has his polo ponies, Dave rides a turtle. I'm beginning to understand why Dave went into humor and Ralph does the clothes.

Nice shirt. Love the sandals too.

Very True also the animals in that area had fewer guns.

Kinda looks to me like the turtle is saying:

"ooph ... can't. breath."

Maybe ease up on the twinkies, Dave.

Oh, I kid. You're lookin' fabulous, darlin'. Almost as good as Judi. Perhaps if you held the walrus penis ...?

Love is in the air.

That is love I'm smelling, isn't it?

He was thinking: "Some moron is sitting on my back"(/i>) . . . AND he's wearing a @#$^inh blue shirt as well!

closing Trystan's italics

Was that picture taken for some kind of turtle pin-up calendar or something?

Wow, looks like there's an alternative to the crapcam now. I like it.

Dave's legs look alarmingly hair free..discuss amongst yourselves.

tsk,... you guys r just jealous cause Dave's looking sex-aaaye these days. cute. yey-yah.

Addendum to AllieKat's comment:

Dave: shut up and smile to my public.

Dave, silently hoping: Just don't smile like that to my private(s)...

I'm ashamed that it took me nearly 24 hours to get the Biblical reference inherent in this blog entry.

... and Jesus sandals!

MeL: Maybe he used Turtle Wax on the legs. *ducks*

*lobs rolled up newspaper at seatazzz*

(har ;)

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