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August 29, 2005


Next time this guy has a problem with the bank, he'll call customer service and wait on hold like everybody else.


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{{COAST!!}} A big mmmmmmuuuaaahhh! back atcha.

But if you switched the "l" for an "r", then you WOULDN'T want it to be over, which means you STILL wouldn't come here with us (OOOOooo, the pervie puns just never stop!).


1. KDF for making me *SNORK* with

2. insomniac for his most apt description of the Kilt itself:

3. Blue for his most apt description of a Haiku itself:

Thanks for all your efforts, guys! I'll announce your prizes as soon as I figure out what they are. For now, everyone will have to be satisified with a smooch.

I'm off to work. Toodles, all!

Satisfied with a smooch? Definitely.

Willing to accept more? Even more definitely definitely.

Seems to me sharons smooch is also askin "Do ya wanna get lucky?"

just an observation.

Next on Kilt With A Tilt:

Pig-Latin Limericks

There once was a swine named Jesus
Who always played fast and loose
He'd even drink Cuervo
While eating his huevos
He never could lay off the juice

OOPS... sorry that was a Latin Pig lymeric

*is pleased that Coast noticed subliminal question*

*wonders if he has an answer*

*nictitates @ Coast* A simul is a good start!

There once was a piggy from Rhodes
Who had an objection to toads.
He caught them one night,
Fed them all dynamite,
And now when one croaks it explodes.

That's more of a French Pig limerick, but oh, well.

I... I... I... won??

*weeps, jumps up on the Sofa of Snorkage™ and does a happy dance*

I'd like to thank the hippo.

There once was a girl pulchritud'nous
Who often was subject to rudeness
She'd sashay and saunter
And make us all want her
Then leave us with quite a bad 'tude in us.

Sorry - chauvinist pig limerick.

There once was a station cross town
Whose presence made all of us frown
And one time their Pig mascot
Kicked Herberts a$$ in the pot
And brought all of KRP down.

Damn -- THAT was a WPIG Limerick

*shakes hands politely with KDF, insom and Blue*

sharon, I want all my bribes gifts back. ;-)

There once was a kilt oh so droll;
their poetry got on quite a roll.
Some folks with quick wits
wrote up some strange writs.
Getting sharon to share was their goal.

There once was a girl named Audrey
She played Liza who spoke kinda Cockney
Mr. Shaw wrote the play
About so-ci-e-tay
Liza, modernized by Eddie Murphy

...pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, "Hey, we're losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain't gonna f... my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" So they're panicking right now, they're screaming "SELL! SELL!" to get out before the price keeps dropping. They're panicking out there right now, I can feel it."

Whoops, Pygmalion limerick.

I'm sorry.

If there were a Kilt chain I'd yank it
But there's none so just gratefully thank it
My standards are lenient
I think it convenient
To just cook up* some pigs in a blanket

*Think euphemism here

*pigs ducks*

There once was a game on the field
That was played by men large and steeled.
They'd all try to get
The post-mortem piglet
And to the other team never would yield.

Ooops...that's a pigskin limerick.

Um There once was a pig
He was so big
That when he sat around the house
The House Imploded in itself

Yeah I got nothing.

*jumps on the bandwagon*

Sometimes swine get a bit bored.
They even feel somewhat ignored.
And some of them write
since they don't want to fight,
for the pig-pen is stronger than sword.

*gets shoved off the bandwagon*

*ducks as rotted veggies start flying*

There once was a duck
That Drove a Truck
He worked at Woodpecker
And drove a double decker
When the company was sold
He was quite Old
So that is what happened
They cooked his goose in the end.

There are these two men who enjoy
Same sex escapades - man or boy
But in their posterior
They want something queerier
Duct tape and a rodent - NEW TOY!!

Damn STILL cant quite get it right... wound up with a Guinea Pig limerick that time.

*rushes away*

To make green you mix yellow and blue,
Which is truly my favorite hue.
Though purple is nice,
And chartreuse paradise,
What is puce?--I haven't a clue.

DAMN! THAT'S a limerick about pigments.

(and I think Coast wins the pervie limerick of the day award...)

A well-known critter, porcine
made a spectacular scene
when flexing his might, his
bleeding rhinitis
turned viewers a bilious green.

Why do we need to imagine the poor rats fate?

Coast - ewwww! And *snork!*

Very happy to see you here. We miss you!

...and the EWWWIE for grossest limerick goes to .....*rip, tear*.... O the U!

*Leaves award at podium and runs away*

At times I feel like a dork
When reaching too far for a SNORK
Some limericks are winners
Worthy of award dinners
Where the main dish is barbecued other white meat

there once was a man from nantucket...

hmmmm - better not

*springs out of the shadows to pounce on TCK*


howdy darlin

how are ya?

BTW ... NE of y'all out there ever heard the shortest limerick ever?

(Caution: it's NOT for a "family" blog ... it's old, but it's a classic ...)

BTW again ... I'd like to thank all the people -- and other critters, includin' microorganisms -- who made my winnin' this award possible ... all the pigs and little piglets and the bacterii that digest and help infect or decay ... um ... nevermind ...

Gross? I can do gross. I got 142 more of 'em ... merely waitin' for the young'uns to go to bed so Mary doesn't need to rush out to a 24-hour Sharpie™ Store in the middle of the nite ...

*zips in*

Yankees 8, KC 3

White Sox 8, Red Sox 1

Kind of some symmetry there, yes?


*zips out*

TCK~ I'm okay; I've been re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire tonight. I'm at the end now. No matter how many times I read about Cornelius Fudge's idiocy, it still makes me hopping mad. But now I get to read about Hermione catching Rita Skeeter. Yay!

*hops back into bed to read the last chapter*

How're you doing, Trevor? :-)

there once was a man from nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
his daughter named Nan
ran off with a man
and as for the bucket, Nantucket


Good one, Sarah!

Done reading Goblet of Fire now. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle are lying in a puddle of hexes on the floor of the Hogwarts Express, and I'm ready to start on Order of the Phoenix, where we see what a kick-butt wizard Dumbledore is, and cry our eyes out over Sirius. May Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange die and rot. More power to the D.A.!

that's more or less the original "man from nantucket" limerick

Book 5 was my lea liked. Harry Gets a bad attitude, and the toad lady is horrible. I did enjoy it when Harry finally told Harry and Hermione to "stop your bloody bickering."
I enjoy the twins revenge though.
Book 6 is standing pretty tall at the moment.

I honestly don't know the real Nantucket one. I usually only here the Nantucket part and then it some how stops.

I'd share it Alfred, but I don't think I could clean it up enough to not get banned for being filthy.

Alfred~ Wouldn't you get a bad attitude if everyone assumed you were crazy and refused to listen to you even though you knew something important? Not to mention working against you as you worked to correct it (the ministry and the "toad lady" as you called her). The middle parts as Umbridge took over were pretty bad, but I liked the D.A. and the occlumency lessons, and the ending was awesome, though sad.

Oh I don't doubt the reasoning. Though I think the bad attitude was more Voldemort then Harry's personal problems.
I think Its funny how Ron and Hermione sort of roll there eyes when Malfoy is mentioned again.

I couldn't remember the Toad Lady's name.

Still in the end It is the least likable among the books. Harry's headache gave me a headache.

Anyway, I felt better when the ending of the next book ended. Even though it has a sadder and darker ending.

My favorite is Book 3 because it has nothing to do with Voldemort.

Well, Voldemort kind of is Harry's personal problem; the source of all the trauma and drama in his life. I think the other part of the whole bad attitude Harry was sporting was just Rowling trying to get across the fact that he was going into the typical sullen and rebellious teenager state.

And yeah, Umbridge is probably the most annoying character in any of the books, but I still liked OotP. I don't have any particular ranking for the books; I love them all, but I think on the whole I enjoyed reading GoF (4) & OotP (5) more than HBP (6). I think the reason for that might be how extremely caught up I was in the endings of 4 and 5 versus the fact that I pretty much knew what was coming in 6. The endings of 4 and 5 shocked, thrilled, and hooked me in; I was reading as fast as I could, and every turn of the page had me more and more anxious to know what happened next.

I don't know why, but the ending of six just didn't hook me in as much; I guess a few death eaters in Hogwarts just seemed anti-climactic after two previous huge battles with Voldemort. I don't believe Snape is really on Voldemort's side, so his "defection" wasn't as big a deal to me either. I had suspected that Dumbledore was going to die all along and was prepared for it, whereas Sirius' death took me totally by surprise and played on my emotions more. There just wasn't as much mystery and shock value in HBP. You would think there would have been with Dumbledore dying, but it just wasn't there. And the revelation of who the HBP was wasn't much of a surprise either; Snape had been my guess. But I only read that one once; I've read the others more. We'll see if my opinion changes with a more careful reading once I'm through with OotP again.

Sorry to write such a long, boring analysis. I'll go do some homework as penance. :-)

I had heard Some one would die in 5. So I was getting ready for some death.
There are some members of the Order of the Pheonix who died unknowingly. Some have guess that one of them is HBP. She died trying to free as many as possible.
Yeah the "Defection" isn't believable. So is the Malfoy is evil to the end thing. We all sort of see the ending. But thats not the entire reason to read the books. The School and its characters them selves are why I read them. Which is why 5 was such a lacking book for me. Not to say that I disliked it, but I wanted more school fun time. Would write more but a family member needs computer.

There are some members of the Order of the Pheonix who died unknowingly. Some have guess that one of them is HBP. She died trying to free as many as possible.

Not sure I understand what you're saying. Who died unknowingly? She who? Freeing as many what? HBP is Snape; they told us as much, right? It was his old textbook that whatizname gave Harry.

Oh sorry, I meant the person who put there initials on the Voldemort Tablet of Immortality.

If it turns out to be HBP as the initials we have something.
Yeah, Snapes Mother's maiden name was Prince.

Sorry, Thinking about financial Aid right now. I went to the ofice to find out why I hadn't gotten any letters yet on my status. Turns out, I am not on the financial aid computers as "Submitted". This means I might have to take out a loan for school. Scary stuff.

Freaking out a bit over this matter. School startes in 2 weeks. And not much I can do. So just waiting for info. Have an appointment with financial Aid lady tommorow. And I am checking my fafsa.

Note how Harry Potter is never given the bill for his boarding school. I would think that costs money or something. But not even a reference about it.

And now I have to wait, because I can't find or remember by PIN Number. 4 hours is so long.
I am now searching for Chocolate milk. Strawberry Milk. Normal Milk. Butterscotch milk. And any other type of milk out there.

Alfred~ Sorry to hear you're having such issues with your aid. I had some trouble with mine at first too, but it got resolved before school started, thank goodness. Hope the same happens for you. And for now, here you go. :-)

The initials were RAB, if I remember correctly. Everyone I've talked to thinks it was Regulus Black, a relative of Sirius who got in with the death eaters, tried to get out again, and was murdered. He's mentioned briefly in OotP. The theory is that he knew he was doomed and did what he could to see to it that someone would be able to stop Voldemort eventually. Destroyed one or more of the horcruxes.

I turn fifty next year. Does that mean I have to get my fafsa checked?

(Sorry, Alfred. Didn't really mean to make fun of your situation. Hope there's some financial aid coming your way).

I think a good Fafsa check every year is a good idea. Other wise they become a pain in the *

Oh and thank you for the milk Bumble. Will be used a lot tonight.

*snork* @ the FAFSA jokes.

Alfred~ You're welcome. Wish I were near enough to bring you the non-virtual kind. :-)


You're a sweetheart.


So are you. :-)

Boy it's getting deep in here.

*fetches a pair of boots*

Alfred, I am also hopin' financial aid comes your way.

*hugs Alfred*

in the meantime, in addition to what Bumble has sent ya, I have somethin' else.

ya don't have to thank me...sharin' would be just fine. ;)

So can I get a hug, too? Not sure I qualify as a "sweetheart" but I AM a "heck of a gal". Or maybe even a "cool and froody chick".

And besides...I could use a hug.


and Bumble...(who wasn't there when i hit "post")... would these help?


feel better now?

I know I do! ;)

Thank you, s-girl. Those'll do fine.


Alfred~ Share?

*loves nachos*

You can have all the jalapenos, though.

Hey ladies! Still around, sg?

Big five-oh party at Blue's house next year?

ASK~ If you plan it, I will come. :-)

Hey! That was my line! :)

that's a long way away for me to plan - I was just hoping for some rum


Yo ho ho!

KDF~ Beat you! :-P

*zips in*

Roger won - YAY!

Major *snork* at Kathy, and a tsk! ;)

*waves hi to ASK as she zips out*


Good luck with the financial aide red tape, Alfred. I hope you can get it worked out.

I submitted my first paper for school today for discussion. It went over well among my classmates, so here's hoping the instructor feels the same. First two tests are next week. I planned to spend tonight preparing but am feeling sick and sorry for myself. So I'm going to go to sleep instead. *curls up on the couch of comfort*

Hi El!

thanks Bumble! Don't forget Sept 19th!

*is shocked -- SHOCKED -- at El's dirty mind*

*is disappointed at self for not noticing the double entendre*

I said "If you plan it, we will come" to Bumble a few weeks ago, when she mentioned a Kiltie party. That's what I meant!

*feigns horror*

Alfred Gets home from friends house and put a lot of Nachos out. Really Good sauce and what ever toppings can be imagined.

*loves Neo a Hot Toddy n a warm hug*

*crosses finners for paper n tests results*

hope all goes well, Alfred!

((((((southerngirl, sharon, kdf n bumble))))))

just cuz:)

I am of the mind to make it a year-long, fafsa-checking, build-up to the mid-century point. That way I won't be receiving all my new Geritols, canes, rocker, medicine dispenser, Depends, hearing-aid and lawn-protection armaments all at once.

mornin' all.

(ya know where ta find me if ya need some gab with that coffee;)


Me too! Cawfee tawk! Let's go!

And Blue, "lawn protection armaments" is making me *snork* repeatedly.

Good morning! I've been up for two hours!! Why? I have no idea, but this is the third day in a row I've been up before 6.

hey y'all - TC got posted again. check out the video!

Mornin' ... sg & them others ... y'all ...

Sippin' Hawaiian coffee, and catchin' up on a DIFFERENT website (family web page just finally got set up ... gotta post grandkids' pix ...)

HOWever, I'm not suggestin' NEthin' here or nothin' ... but ... p'haps it's time fer a new MOVE? It's been on this site fer a month now, and I'm findin' that when I click on a link, when I return to the thread, it only scrolls down so much, and then I hafta manually scroll the rest of the way ... mebbe this is somethin' with my setup, but p'haps it's gettin' full, or long or longer ... or ... um ... wonderin' how that sounds, this early in the a.m. ... NEbuddy checked lately to see how many posts on this thread/line? That's whut I meant ... yeah, that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it ...

Gotta go werk fer 1.5 hours to finish my 40 fer the week, then I'll be back ... hopin' y'all leave a trail of bread crumbs (or bottle caps?) fer me to find a new site, if that's whut y'all decide ...


You're right, things have been slowing down lately. We've been here a month? Wow, we're slackin'.

Wanna move here? Only a few comments and no sp@m.

There's good too, but I found a pirate thread in preparation for the Blog holiday that's coming up in a couple of weeks

but maybe we'll save that one for later. I'll send out the moving signal!!


We're gonna need a bigger Kilt.

We're gonna need a bigger Kilt.

Sorry. Didn't mean to self-simul in public.

This web page is a "Google Whack" using the words antidisestablishment ossification

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