KATRINA

The good news is, I'm fine. There's virtually no hurricane damage where I am. The bad news is, this is because I'm in California. I came here Thursday morning, when all the weather schmexperts were saying Katrina was not a big threat to South Florida. Of course the instant my plane took off, Katrina went from Tropical Storm Status to what meteorologists call Evil Demon Bitch Status, and aimed directly at my house.

So now I'm here in sunny California feeling awful. I am the world's worst husband and father. I am way below toilet scum, responsibility-wise. If toilet-scum cells could talk, they'd be saying, "We may live in a toilet, but at least we stick by our families in a hurricane."

The only good thing is that last year I bought a manly and studly generator, which Mrs. Blog got working this morning, which means our house has lights and refrigeration and -- most important -- filtration for the fish tank.

Anyway, I'm going to be focusing my efforts on calling home and feeling guilty, so blogging from me will be light. I just spoke to judi, and she's also without power, so she's going to try to get to the Miami Herald, not so much so she can work, but so she can have air conditioning. But basically everybody is fine. Although some of us are reprehensible.

To those of you out there who are affected by Katrina: Hope you're OK, and with your families.   

Comments

[Josh]

Glad you're safe, Dave!

[rita]

Will you ask Mrs. Blog to check on my daughter and her two children in Orlando?

[Josh]

WOOHOO! First!

(OK, sorry.)

[Sean]

How were you to know , Dave ? Don't kick yourself..We know you are a good husband and father..But if I was you I'd make sure to go out and buy some REALLY COOL presents..

[Punkin Poo]

Dave....I'd watch out for earthquakes if I were you. You know how havoc follows you....

And no one blames you for running awa...I mean, "going on business" and leaving your family to fend for themselves. It's about time Sophie learned to bail and stack sandbags.

[Christobol]

Don't count your chickens, Dave.

I hear California is reporting an 11% chance that a shade front might move through.

You might try letting your family know that, while you're not there with them, you are suffering, in your own way. You could try this:

"Honey, you know how when it's cold, and you're under the covers, you always stick at least a toe out to feel the cold? It's that little bit of discomfort that enables you to enjoy the cozy warmth of your bed. Or when it's hot, and you're running the A/C, you step outside just for a quick blast of heat? Well, I can't get comfortable here. Everywhere I go, it's perfect. No contrast. Driving me nuts!"

Of course, that would be if you aren't planning to go home anytime soon. Soon being a decade or so.

[Russell]

Glad you're (not your) OK, Dave and the SB!!!

Generators are cool, and the fact that she got it running is certainly points in your favor...

[KOW]

Glad everybody's okay. I was starting to worry with the lack of bloggage. And don't feel bad Dave; blame the schmexperts. This is clearly their fault for not giving you advanced notice so you would be able to stay with your family at this time. You may want to consider suing.

[Bumble]

Glad you're all safe. Don't beat yourself up, and for goodness sake don't worry about blogging. Hope the effects of all this on you, judi and your friends and family are not too catastrophic. Florida and Floridians, get well soon!

[ncc1701]

Glad you're safe Dave and do what we do here to predict the weather...if the weatherpeople say we are going to have a horrible storm the likes we have never known, we pretty much know that it is going to be sunny and mild. If the weather is predicted to be sunny and mild, well you know that you had better buy some candles and prepare for raging winds.

[slyeyes]

I agree with Sean, a trip to Rodeo Drive and FAO Schwartz seems to be in order. And DO NOT check the gifts with your luggage. Having to say "I got you something really neat, but the airline lost it" will not go well at this point in time.

[MOTW]

The reason the Manly Generator was so easy for Mrs. Blog to get started is that it hasn't been dormant for that long. Also, Mrs. Blog has been working out with free weights and a trainer (she's a sportswriter and has connections) so she'll be plenty able to greet Dave, er, take care of her own.

[Nick]

While I hope you, your family, and judi all make it through this season safely, the fact that neither of you can blog at the moment is unsettling... therefore I have decided to take things into my own hands...

Here's a PRODUCTIVITY ENHANCER for the day.

[slyeyes]

As far as weather predictions, sometimes AFTER the storm, they still have trouble figuring out what happened.

Weather schmexpert #1: It was a tornado

Weather schmexpert #2: It was a straight-line wind

Citizen: Whatever. My house and cars are gone.

[MOTW]

Something to while away some time, the Amazing Falling Woman.

When she gets stuck, just click and drag her free. (If you're bored, just scroll the mouse around like you're winding up for the pitch.)

[Brad]

The real danger with these hurricanes is CNN/MSNBC/FNC hurricane reporters blowing through your window. I hope you caught it on TV Dave. Watching just 5 minutes of the coverage, I really felt like I was there.

[Mrs. Swooshman (formerly known as Seatazzz)]

MOTW---I just LOVE the way you can make her neck do a REALLY acute angle. If I was that limber I could make a LOT of money as a contortionist with Cirque D Soleil. And my coworkers are looking at me funny.

Dave and Family, judi, et. al.: Hope you're (not your) doing okay and that you are back to blogging soon. And everyone else, PLEASE try to make a donation sometime soon to the Red Cross. They are awesome.

[Hurricane Katrina]

I came all this way to get my copy of Peter and the Starcatchers signed and Dave's not here???

Dang.

I was even going to blow him for it.

[queensbee]

well its ok dave. sheeesh. you got the guilt thing down.

[rita]

*snork* @ "Hurricane Katrina"

[slyeyes]

still waiting to hear from judi and DJT.

[crossgirl]

being as you're a man and all, being below toilet scum goes with the territory. i'm sure wife and daughter are used to it by now, but if not, try this.

[Eleanor]

Nice goin' Dave *snork*

But since I know (really) that you would never leave your family in a time of crisis (which would also be a good opportunity for a colum - er, I mean post)you're not in trouble here! And as far as Mrs. Blog and Baby Blog go, if I were you, I'd go to crossgirl's link and make the purchase!!!! :)

[Aunt Nancy]

Dave - if you really were irresponsible (and way below toilet scum) you wouldn't be feeling this way. You'd be sipping ice-cold import beer in an air-conditioned bar somewhere thinking totally selfish thoughts. But instead you'd rather be in the middle of Chaos Central, hunkered down with your family. I think you're sweet, and I know you'll get back to your family as soon as the FAA lets planes into Miami International.

*sends Dave, judi, and all Floridians great big Iowa hugs*

Now, go find an air conditioned bar and have a beer before your plane leaves.

[elle]

Dave:

Diamonds make it better. So does doing all the chores for a month.

[Kilmeny]

I'm sure Mrs. Blog will forgive you, Dave. After a while.

[«LabSpecimen»]

Rita: Orlando is fine. I just talked to a coworker in that area.

All: Just heard from Judi and she's at the Herald enjoying air conditioning.

[judi]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Clay]

Sorry, Dave.

I gotta side with Mrs. Blog on this one. Maybe you can get off with a dope slap when you get home....?

[TWBAGNFARB]

Hurricane Scum Cells

[TCK]

Dave - as i'm sure you already know (being that you are a veteran of many years of marriage), even if you were actually there with Mrs. Blog and Baby Blog, the whole thing would be your fault anyway, because, well, you're the male half of the marriage - everything is your fault, even when it couldn't possibly be your fault, no matter what.

So, given that the whole situation would be your fault, no matter what, and given that you have now publically expressed guilt and remorse, which is only appropriate, given that it's all your fault, I say take advantage of the fact that you can feel guilty anywhere else other than in hurricane ally - I beleive somebody above suggested a bar with AC and a beer.

[DISCLAIMER: The above advice regarding return to Fla. bearing gifts, preferrably expensive gifts, is also, in my expert opinion, very sound advice (NOTE: expert opinion status based on 20+ years of marraige to the same person - during which said 20+ years of marriage I have adjusted to the fact that everything is my fault, no matter what.)]

That is all.

[«LabSpecimen»]

What an alibi! I just told Mrs. Specimen that it was TCK's fault there was no TP in the bathroom. I think she bought it.

[Christobol]

General question: Do diamonds still work when you can easily afford them, or does Dave have to buy one the size of a door knob?

Also, does "doing the chores for a month" include hiring a hot French maid to do them and then supervising?

I'm just trying to make sure Dave doesn't get in deeper, ya know?

[«LabSpecimen»]

C-bol, I think Dave's off the hook. Since everything is TCK's fault, he'll be the one buying diamonds. What could be better?

[Mrs. Swooshman (formerly known as Seatazzz)]

TCK--my ring size is 6.

judi--air conditioning rocks!!!

C'bol---no French maids, what he needs to do is hire this hot hunk o'dancin' love and leave the house for several hours. That just might placate Mrs. Blog.

[Christobol]

Great point, Lab.

By the way, TCK, my wife would like a word, when you have a moment. Something about forgetting to pick up the kids from school and backing over her mother.

Oh, and getting me drunk again.

[hagymom]

As the female half of a married couple, and the one that stays home the most, it is my contention that there is some kind of "force" on earth that goes into play the minute spouses or significant others leave on business trips (usually to someplace much nicer than where we live). Whatever this force is, it ALWAYS causes some major home problem (furnace quitting, water heater not heating, garage door to go down, but not up) or weather catastrophe (22 inches of snow overnight)to occur. I'm not sure what this force is, but it is truly diabolical.

On the plus side however, I have gotten many nice gifts upon his return. As an example, we leave on the cruise in just a few months.

[Christobol]

Mrs. S - Using my powers of insight, I assumed your link went to some hot hunk o'dancin' love, so I didn't click.

However, isn't it true that women don't really like guys with fantastic bodies? Don't they prefer softies with random patches of clumpy hair?

So clearly Mrs. Blog wouldn't want any part of your link...

[TCK]

Lab Speciman: I'm willing to take the rap for no TP in your bathroom - I am not willing, however, to take the blame for the smell.

Mrs. Swooshman (f/k/a Seatazzz): what a coincidence, my wife's ring size is also 6...

C-bol: my wife also seems to be upset about getting me drunk again - sorry about the mother-in-law tho - sh*t happens when I try to pick your kids up from school after getting me drunk again

[crossgirl]

christobol, to answer your general question. the size of the diamond should always be proportionatly larger than your salary no matter what the salary. the effort involved in the purchase is what really wins points. fighting off crocodiles or catching on fires to bring home the giant diamond is a good way to get off the hook.

[rita]

Thanks, Lab. I appreciate the update.

Now would you get Avery to call me? It's her turn.

[Christobol]

"Honey, sorry about the misunderstanding. Please accept this ring."

"Is this from a Cracker-Jacks box?"

"Yes it is, and I want you to know I had to drive all over to even find anyone who still sells Cracker Jacks. Then I had to fight with some pasty faced sweaty fat man who apparently collects the damned things, and had to trade him six plastic alligators for that ring. But I set him on fire as I left."

*swoon*

[Melissa]

DANG!!! I had (what my insecure little brain thought was) a really good comment typed out....but it didn't post! Argh!

I'll try to duplicate it! Here is goes:

Dave, we're thrilled you and Mrs. Blog are fine.

About your guilt. How does Mrs. Blog feel? How does she **really** feel! Is she just saying "it's okay"? You know, the way us females do to let you guys off the hook, when really we're supremely
p!ssed and you should kill yourselves getting back in our good graces?? OR, is she REALLY okay with it? If she is, fine, if not... if she's just being kind...then I strongly suggest you get your cute little b@tt home as quick as possible and do all the grocery shopping, housecleaning and any other duties you can, for at least the next several weeks, to redeem yourself!! Either way, stay safe!! Mew

[crossgirl]

oooooooooh, christobol! i believe i've swooned.

[Brad]

This story seems to suggest that the real danger isn't the hurricane. It's trees. Note the common danger ("a tree") involved in all four reported hurricane deaths. Perhaps we've been focussing on the wrong thing all these years!

[«LabSpecimen»]

Brad, I'm using paper as fast as I can to contribute to the deforestation of the earth. But, hey, I can only do SO MUCH, you know!

[Sondra]

Thoughtful gifts are always the best. Do her feet get cold in the evenings, after Sophie's in bed and she has time to sit and rest for a while? Buy her an antique lap quilt. Tie a ribbon around it, with a huge honking diamond ring attached to the ribbon. That oughtta do it.

[Dread Pirate Shermano]

I'm at the Palm Beach - Broward border, and we lost power for a total of 7 - 10 hours, depending who you ask. Most of us just had a hurricane party in the neighbor's garage and it was a generally groovy night.

Having said that, you didn't miss much. Think of it this way: You're out doing your job, without which you couldn't afford the generator that's currently keeping them cool in this crud.

Oh, and it's still raining.

[Billee Bussard]

While you are in California, take a good look at the chaos created for school there by the year-round school calendar, which forces kids to start school in late July, in the heat of the summer. You recently wrote a column about the early school start date, which you loathe. Well, it is just an incremental step to eventually place all schools on a year-round calendar, which the Business Roundtable wants for various money-motivated reasons. I have been researching this issue since 1992, when I was an editorial writer for a major Florida daily. Am working on a book about this, which I hope to finish soon. A column explaining the money motives tied to early school start dates is schedule to appear in a Florida alternative weekly in the last week in August. Some of my research is posted on my website, www.SummerMatters.com.

[suzanne]

Alright this is cruel, just remember, GW stands for Global Warming... Am I so very wrong to be smug?

[eran]

A major volunteer-based effort is underway to coordinate the housing crisis for Katrina victims at http://katrinahousing.org

Volunteers can post available housing/rooms/apts, etc.. and victims can search for housing. Lists can be printed for physical distribution as well. Searches for housing can even be tied to a zip code radius.

This is in attempted efforts with RedCross, FEMA and other groups.

We need your assistance in distributing this information through your channels as quickly as possible.

Thank you

Eran Greenburg
MyTechSupport
9am - 5pm MST
801-373-1299

[Katie O'Brien]

WHERE IS RUDY GULLIANI???? The Gulf Coast needs a leader like him to bring them back from this tragedy!!!

[L Walker]

AmSouth Bank is A Racist BANK!!! Placing Blame on Katrina!!

Amsouth Bank www.amsouth.com Harold Rhodes, from Washington State now in Birmingham, Alabama Said, "The responsibility Lies with the mayor, Not the Government. The Federal Government is not responsible for these people."

Time said 9/06/05 Wednesday.
Harold Rhodes, Supervisor AmSouth
1-800-289-6720 ex. 7964

Voice your Opinion to AmSouth Corp at 1-800-Amsouth!!!

[Almuñécar]

Ojala pronto empiezen a cambiar las cosas para la gente de Nueva Orleans.

[Search Guy]

http://www.CrisisSearch.com is a crisis search engine (links to disaster relief/planning, find lost people, aid programmes, etc) that I created as my Homeless Search Portal on http://www.SpareSomeChange.com was getting so much traffic (50,000 hits a day) for Katrina related sites and temp housing/shelter links... Hopefully this new portal for emergency type crisis's will help with current, past and future devastations. Please add crisis type links to our database (already over 1,000 links), it may just help a victim directly :)

[battery for dell laptop]

As a rechargeable battery, Toshiba laptop battery can last for nearly two to three years by average. Even if only one-year warranty is available to users by free when purchasing, lithium-ion laptop battery lifespan should be determined by recharging cycles which is related with its capacity. However, with time goes by, more internal resistances emerge inside the cells and other circuits, which will cause overheat or overloaded.