YOU ARE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE
Key Quote: "We're currently very uncomfortable in our home and toilet shy I would say, and real anxious for closure."
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July 21, 2005
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That's it! Between snakes, soccer games and peeping toms in the toilet, I,m switching to Depends....
*runs off crossing her legs*
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 21, 2005 at 06:28 AM
Maybe she needs one of those Japanese heated toilets...cook the SNAKES' weiners!
Posted by: kj | July 21, 2005 at 06:31 AM
This is supposed to be a professional news services?
"She was rushed to the hospital and given anti-venin"
"The family now thinks he could have gotten into the home through the dog door, but there's still a fear, it hasn't left."
"They said, doctors told them, given the size of the snake, if it would have bitten him instead of Alicia, he probably would not have survived."
Posted by: Frogstein | July 21, 2005 at 06:32 AM
And yes, I'm aware of the irony in making a typo complaint with a typo in it...
Posted by: Frogstein | July 21, 2005 at 06:33 AM
I open the lid,
take a peek...is the coast clear?
Snake laughs from the shelf.
Posted by: snif | July 21, 2005 at 06:37 AM
m.
Posted by: Leetie | July 21, 2005 at 06:45 AM
Anyone who has a doggie door in Florida is just asking for a killer reptile to come live in their toilet.
Posted by: Chianca At Large | July 21, 2005 at 06:53 AM
"We'd like to reverse bathroom closure
Without threat of snakely exposure."
Said a Mr. Bailey
"Poop monthly, not daily
And you run big risks of explosure."
Posted by: insomniac | July 21, 2005 at 06:54 AM
"The Bailey's have an 11-year old son who is now staying with neighbors. They said, doctors told them, given the size of the snake, if it would have bitten him instead of Alicia, he probably would not have survived."
Right. Not to mention the considerable difficulty of "retoilet-training" an 11 yr old who's had the piss scared out of him by a poisonous snake...
Posted by: jamester | July 21, 2005 at 07:03 AM
I mean, I kind of get where the snake is coming from.
If someone woke ME up in the middle of the night and peed on my head, I'd probably bite them too.
Posted by: elle | July 21, 2005 at 07:09 AM
it's clearly time to move. from the house, i mean. really.
Posted by: crossgirl | July 21, 2005 at 07:19 AM
Hmmm...let's see...
People had a venomous snake in their house...
They live next to a wooded area, which means their neighbor lives next to a wooded area...
The people sent their son to stay with the neighbor...
They can't find the snake...
Has anyone looked at the neighbor's?
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 21, 2005 at 07:20 AM
I'm a little toilet shy myself. Mind you, my toilet gets fresh with me a lot and keeps telling me I flirt with it when I moon it the way I do...
Posted by: Somewhere North | July 21, 2005 at 07:21 AM
Somewhere - maybe you should take your toilet and head to Orange County next July. I mean, if your toilet is really into watching "the moon" rise...
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 21, 2005 at 07:26 AM
*snork* and LMAO to all previous comments*
Anyone remember Ally McBeal when the frog came up through the toilet after being flushed? And we thought it was just a quirky TV show - HAH!
Posted by: Eleanor | July 21, 2005 at 07:26 AM
oh no eleanor, i live in florida, i work for a plumber. frogs and snakes in the toilet are not uncommon. therefore, i NEVER leave either lid up, NEVER not look before sitting, have screens over my roof vents and never, ever, go in the bathroom without turning on the light. shudders.
Posted by: crossgirl | July 21, 2005 at 07:34 AM
*hat tip to kj & insom*
If a snake had a plan I would foil it
Especially if it involved my own toilet
Matsushita's new niche
With and on-and-off switch
Would heat the brute up and then boil it
Posted by: M.C. | July 21, 2005 at 07:38 AM
Aunt Nancy: Why would Somewhere just want to take her toilet and her head to Orange County? Won't she need her legs too? And her arms, so she can carry the toilet?
Posted by: Scratchin' My Head in Perplexity | July 21, 2005 at 07:41 AM
OK, all you women who complain when we men leave the lid up. Now do you get it?
We're doing it on purpose, so you'll be able to see any lurking toilet snakes (wbagnfarb) before they bite you on the thigh!
We try to be considerate, and are we appreciated? Noooooo.
Posted by: qetzal | July 21, 2005 at 07:59 AM
m.c. -*snork*
and I can't help think 'boiled toilet snake' would be some kind of Oriental delicacy...
Posted by: insomniac | July 21, 2005 at 08:00 AM
I see dogs aren't the only animals to favor toilet water.
Posted by: Christobol | July 21, 2005 at 08:02 AM
It really could have been worse. The snake bit her in the leg when she lifted the lid. What if it had waited until she sat down?
Posted by: VictoriaE77 | July 21, 2005 at 08:24 AM
At least I know nothings going to bite me in the ass when I use the ice cream bucket in my truck.
Posted by: PollyPI | July 21, 2005 at 08:30 AM
He carries a big stick around the house as he looks for the snake and at times his shotgun.
Uh-oh. They can't find the shotgun either--what if the snake's armed (ha) now?
Posted by: Just Happy to be Alive | July 21, 2005 at 08:55 AM
Scratchin ' - ah, ya got me! I blame my error on a short night of sleep. I shall now attempt to correct the error:
...maybe you should take your toilet and go...no, wait...
...maybe you should take your toilet and run...nah, that's not good either...
...maybe you should take your toilet and move...um, still doesn't sound right...
...maybe I should just forget it.
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 21, 2005 at 09:36 AM
I'll need my butt too if I'm going to participate in the community mooning challenge. The toilet will be my prop.
Posted by: Somewhere North | July 21, 2005 at 09:43 AM
ewwwwwww! in general.
Posted by: queensbee | July 21, 2005 at 10:02 AM
Folks, I think the "thigh" bite was a euphemism for where she was really bitten. It reminds me when Tom Seaver was pitching and pulled a muscle in his "upper thigh" because the tv announcers didn't want to say "buttock" on air.
Are we sure it was a water moccasin and not Jude Law?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 21, 2005 at 10:46 AM
Has anyone seen the dog?
Posted by: Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel | July 21, 2005 at 11:24 AM
Has anyone seen the dog?
Posted by: Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel | July 21, 2005 at 11:24 AM
I've heard stories like this before. I'm glad I don't live in an area with lots of poisonous snakes. My Uncle once had a bathroom in his house that had no water connected to it. He was in there one day for some reason and a bird flew out of the dry toilet in his face. He had a time getting it out of the house I'll bet.
Posted by: Bumble | July 21, 2005 at 01:00 PM
*sigh* they're gonna tap us toilet water in san diego. there are snakes comin' outta the toilets in my hometown.
hmmm. maybe an island.
Posted by: js | July 21, 2005 at 02:33 PM
To return to an earlier comment, (and poach on Dave's territory) I think "Boiled Toilet Snake" would be a great name for a rock band . . .
Gosh, my first post. I'm so proud!
Posted by: blt | July 21, 2005 at 08:30 PM
blt, (cute handle) we all poach on Dave's territory, as well as each other's. it's kinda the point.
(welcome to club swipe)(pi):D
Posted by: just sayin' | July 24, 2005 at 10:58 AM
this bonus ;)
Posted by: Spapontothe | July 01, 2008 at 02:37 PM