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July 29, 2005

WHY WOMEN HOVER, REASON #2038

OUCH.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

Comments

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What a pisser.

Brings a whole new meaning to:

There's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow.

...and (can't resist) "Is that the inner or outer ring around Uranus?"

*goes to wash his hands out with soap!*

Special Burn Underpants WBAGNFARB

What a pisser.

So would Chemical Injury

What a bummer. What kind of cleaning crap were they using anyway?

AN - I think you meant to ask, "What kind of crap-cleaning crap were they using anyway?"

Ok here's the deal--1) you would assume that any chemical strong enough to burn your butt would at least have some odor to it, which would be your first clue and 2) it would more than likely still be wet, and MOST women I know would never knowingly sit on a wet toilet seat (thanks to earlier thread). Sounds like someone is a little too sue-happy. And I was hoping when I read the headline (snork) that it meant she sat down on a recently ON-FIRE toilet. Disappointment abounds.

I actually thought it caught on-fire while she was sitting on it.

*is also disappointed*

Hey! It could have been worse! They could have written numbers, backwards so it would look like a clo... nevermind!

Which proved itself to be crappy crap-cleaning crap, at least from the point of view of the injured crapper. I'm pretty sure that's the first time in my many years I've used that word so many times in a sentence. Another milestone in my life, thanks to the high-minded Blog community.

chemicals or germs...
would rather burn or fester?
pee-pee confusion

I don't know what she's complaining about, at least the toilet was clean, for a change. So what if you've burned off a layer of skin!

*starts blog chant*

We want a picture of the "special underpants designed for burn victims".

Without that, this is an incomplete story.....

Kilmeny! MY thoughts exactly!

"wrubbbit!"

Perhaps it was caused by the latent emissions from her recently consumed Grand Slam breakfast.

...like eating a flamethrower.

Not that I would know about that personally.

In the infamous words of Eric Cartman:

"Ow! My @$$!"

Ms. Pottyburn's attorney, Mr Ironguy, is from Topeka, Land of the Unfunny. He seems to make a career of taking on goofy cases. If I were awake and actually willing to do the research, I would provide some hilarious examples, but zzzzzzzzz you're (not ur) on your own here.

oh scat, i just LOVE those. but i wonder...are we sure it's not just the same sleeve going round and round like those old towel hand dryers/germ incubators?

I think I'm going to file this one under "Who cares?"

Normally, pressing issues like this concern me. Maybe it has to do with the fact that it's Friday...

Hey scat!
The best parts about O'Hare are the fact that their toilets are 'clean' (what if it's just on a rotation and has been the same sleeves since they were installed?) and there are fourbucks every ten feet (roughly). Somehow, doesn't quite make up for the ten hours I spent there waiting for a snowstorm in New York to clear up though.

kibby! i haven't heard that song in YEARS!

SCRAPE 'EM OFF JIM!

I think I have to disagree with seatazz on this one. If you smell a funny smell (or even a chemical cleaning smell) when you enter a restroom, does that warn you that your buttocks are going to be burned off if you sit down? And, chemists out there help me out, aren't there plenty of odorless chemicals that would burn the heck out of you very fast?

Rooty Tooty
Ow! my bazootie!

spinner8 - true, good points. Yet it doesn't address the other point seatazzzzzzzzzzzz brought up, that being that the seat was wet.

For my part, I always do a visual check for spots, splashes, or spewage and wipe it up with a wad of TP before setting my netherparts down.

(For Pete's sake, I've seen toilets that get so explosive upon flushing that they look more like a geyser than a whirlpool - so it's not always caused by a hover-peer.)

Well, sometimes you need to burn off a layer of skin in the name of cleanliness.

And sometimes you want to burn off a layer of skin after using a public toilet.

Isn't it remarkable, how comfortable we are with each other, that we're willing to trade toilet use tips? I can't wait for the greatly-anticipated-but-as-yet-unplanned Blogger Picnic:

blah: Hi! I'm blah-blah-blah.
me: I'm Aunt Nancy. Nice to meet you.
blah: Hey! Aren't you the one who's grandma always made her put paper on the toilet seat in public restrooms?
me: (blushing) Uh, yeah.

Aunt Nancy ~ Okay. Now I'm not sure I want to go. But if I do go, I'm looking through the archives for ammunition.

Aunt Nancy ~ Okay. Now I'm not sure I want to go. But if I do go, I'm looking through the archives for ammunition.

And I want the Snoopy moonwalk to be there.

And beer.

As loath as I am about frivolous lawsuits, this is one case where I'd say she's got a legitimate arguement. A chemical smell would only indicate that the restroom had recently been cleaned - there'd be no reason to suspect the smell was originating from the toilet seat. And most chemicals evaporate fairly quickly, so the toilet seat may not have been wet at all, but still could have left a dangerous residue behind (er, no pun intended...)

Jillywilly- *snork* at the link... you should have sent that in!!

Aunt Nancy- no need to be embarrassed among friends. Besides, your grandma rocks!

*runs away to medicate herself*

Some of us have already gotten together more than once. Heck, I've even had some of the DC area bloglits over to my house (even after my graphic description of my lactose intolerance!).

Allie lives in central VA, not ever so far from Leetie. (useless information noone wanted to know)

*runs off to use the restroom*

YIKES

For Pete's sake, I've seen toilets that get so explosive upon flushing that they look more like a geyser than a whirlpool - so it's not always caused by a hover-peer.

(*checks to see if MOTW has been to his bathroom lately, where new toilet has been known to do its Old Faithful routine.*)

Special Underpants would also be AGNFARB for Geriatrics &/or Toddlers.

Tell me, has anyone OTHER than a lawyer ever spoken like this?

"Sadly, as a result of the chemical injury, nerves were injured that create a sensation of pain 24 hours a day," Irigonegaray told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Pedro Irigonegaray WBAGNFA Utility Infielder.

Seriously, as for the question of smell, some of us don't have much sense of smell. Seeing liquid on the seat, however, is a different story.

Scroll down for a picture of Smiling Pedro.

Do you think she is now a little "toilet shy?" Maybe she's related to the girl who got bit byu the snake. They can form a support group for people who have been injured whilst going to the bathroom.

Before we gather for food and beer, I suggest we get together with scat and perform an exorcism on his/her computer. (sorry I don't know your gender, scat)

Begone, thou demons of double-post!

Denny's CEO: Dammit! First they complain that the toilets are buried in several feet of excrement. Then they complain that the cleaning chemicals we use cause them irreperable harm. What the hell does the public want?

Maketing Exec: Our focus group indicates they want us to put egg troughs in next to the urinals.

CEO: Alright. Let's give that a whirl.

Do you think she is now a little "toilet shy?" Maybe she's related to the girl who got bit byu the snake. They can form a support group for people who have been injured whilst going to the bathroom.

What is an egg trough? And since when do men lay eggs? (unless of course we are speaking of the euphemism they use when they let a particularly nasty fart)

scat/chick/grown woman (good to know) -

It's clear that the message meant to be conveyed by the semi-seductive smile is:

See, getting burned isn't all that bad, because you will look cute in your new outfit!!!

Jeff M. - Pedro Iamnotgay graduated from the Washburn School of Law?

Now we know why he took the case!! It was 'pro Drano'.

So....

If you burn off your birthday suit, you can get a new one?

good information to have.

scat - first, I'll need to do a little research.

*goes to rental place, gets DVD copy of "The Exorcist"*

*goes to grocery store, buys cold beer and microwave popcorn*

*goes home and begins to conduct "research"*

A restaurant bathroom is germous
But now there's new reason to squirm as
Those good folks at Denny's
Fork out a few pennies
For scarring a girl's epidermis!

MOTW, re: *I always do a visual check for spots, splashes, or spewage and wipe it up with a wad of TP before setting my netherparts down.*

I do that, too. I then get out my microscope, scrutinize the seat further, take out a sterile swab & rub it over the seat, send the swab off to CSI, & wait for them to give me the green light. By then, of course, I've peed my pants.

It's still no excuse for hovering.

Hey, if and when I hover, I also wait unti lafter the toilet has flushed/geysered and clean it up for the next person.

I asked in my emergency room today on lunch and was told that there are no companies that produce special clothing for burn victims. They only recommend light clothing. It sounds like the lawyer wants to get as much award money as he can.

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