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July 26, 2005


Can somebody please explain what the heck happened?

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)


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In English, Please

Fortunately for Williams, the plumber's union noted that nowhere in his contract did it mention that the he was not supposed to urinate in any housewares and/or pour said urine into the family's drinking water. So he should pretty much be in the clear.

Is THIS what the Brits refer to as 'getting pissed'? I always thought it had some element of fun.

I'm confused - where's the "financial gain" in peeing in a vase and dumping it into a water tank?

Also, wouldn't you think that a plumber of all people would know how to use a toilet?

The court was told Williams had to urinate after being overcome by "bright lights and the sound of running water" and because of a medical condition.You might think that plumber wouldn't be the best job for somebody with that medical condition, but he's actually Bat Plumber, unclogger of the night. So he usually manages to avoid the "bright lights" part.

actually, urinating in vases is indo-european (get it? yur-a-pee-un?) folklore, a tradition born back in 1428, when King Whiz urinated in the peasants well prior to beheading them.

oh, and there WILL be a quiz.

What happened was, he was overcome. By the bright lights. And the running water. It's an occupational hazard, with plumbers. They can't escape that sound, even in their sleep. The water... the clanking pipes, and dear God, the *gurgling*...it haunts them, it drives them, til one day...they pee in a vase and charge large sums for services not rendered. It's why they overlook little things like their pants being halfway-down their butts...they're preoccupied by that ghastly hydrological music in their heads.

What I don't understand is, in Britain, you can own a post office?

This is my very most favorite defense!!!

Defendant:I did it on purpose because (fill in the blank)

Judge: GUILTY!!!!

man, I'm tired of every freakin' liberal pissing away their accountability and personal responsibility by consciously commiting despicable acts and THEN appealing to "bright lights" and the "sound of running water" to solicit sympathy and understanding rather than the condemnation they deserve.


i would like to be the first to say "EEEEEWWWWWW."

Do they not have toilets in Britain or something?

Tragic tale of a
Plumber gone bad, he flushes
Own business away

FCDA: it's an old lawyer trick - once you realize your client's completely screwed, you make something up to distract the jury -

"I did it on purpose" does seem like a bad idea tho...

they should have said "look! it's the space shuttle!" and then ran while everybody was distracted

Long tall con can just *tell* the wicked plumber is a liberal, by using his *special powers*. Shh...and don't let the lights get too bright in here; we don't want to cause any *episodes.*

After collecting the evidence, Police were delighted report that they now had something to go on.


No. I have absolutely no idea what this could even possibly be about. I mean, usually when you finish a news article you have a gist of the situation and you also have a feeling one way or the other about how things went down, but there was a very large and empty space between reading the article and actually thinking or feeling anything at all once I was done.

I don't understand why he did it at all.

I don't understand peeing in a vase when you could pee directly into the end ‘depository’, if that's your goal in the first place.

I don't understand how bright lights could play any role whatsoever, with the exception of the accuracy involved in 'using' the vase.

I don't understand who or how or why there were cameras involved or how this turned into a court case or who won or who lost or any of it, least of all why there’s a freeze-frame of the guy peeing into a vase on the page you linked to, as if I had no idea what a guy peeing in a vase on camera might look like… and, provided I might not have that idea, as if I wanted to know.

In fact, absolutely none of this article makes the least bit of sense at all.

But that's just my take.

Maybe there's a plumber in the audience that can shed some light? And no peeing, please, while the lights are up.

An incontinent plumber from Surrey
Had to fix his own leak in a hurry
‘Tho the pee was perverse
It could have been worse
For lunch he had kebab and curry

An incontinent plumber from Surrey
Had to fix his own leak in a hurry
‘Tho the pee was perverse
It could have been worse
For lunch he had kebab and curry

On a serious note, don't you just hate it when movers, repairmen, delivery guys ask to use your bathroom?

And they save up the good stuff just for you, so that you'll enjoy the memory of their visit for hours.

Reminds me of the time that we had a new toilet put in our apartment. My roomate and I were talking about who was going to get to *ahem* christen it when the plumber came out, grinning, and informed us that he did the honors. We couldn't get near it for hours!

Now, Maud, are you getting angry at long tall con just to get another session in the heated massage chair? Well, OK...

Look! Bubbles!

Here, have a nice, cool drink.

See that picture of long tall con? His tongue is,IMO, firmly planted in his cheek.

Long Tall Con - for your sake, that had dang well better be your tongue in your cheek - not a wad of tobaccy!

Bravo, slowlayne! Got a useless word of the day for old times sake?

Ahhh...drinks...massage...and I *do* so love bubbles...if only they had provided these amenities at my last job, we could have avoided that unfortunate incident with the anal-retentive social worker...oh, well...the little umbrella was a nice touch, Aunt Nancy.

"After being sentenced Williams said he had worked for 23 years with no complaints and claimed he knew Trading Standards were filming him and wanted to expose them."

he wanted to expose THEM?? talk about confused.

Yes, one can own a post office in Britain. In many smaller towns, the Royal Mail contracts with local people to operate small post offices. It's good business, because the post office also offers banking services and can be integrated into other retail shop services.

I wanted to expose the mailman who always puts my mail in the neighbor's box so I peed on my neighbor's dog. That didn't work either.

OK I agree plumbers are obsessed by the gurgling etc. so he felt compelled to pee but I have another question. Plumbers deal with more than liquid. What happens when he REALLY gets a case of the gurgles? and we are dealing with more 'solid' evidence?

M.C., maybe I shouldn't be explaining this delicate subject given that terrorists could be reading this blog, but you pee in the vase (rather than the end 'depository') if the end 'depository' is somewhere out of easy reach. No matter how well-plumbed you are, some places are too high, too low, or too far under the neighbor's davenport to hit directly. Heck, those who sit down to "fill a vase" and/or have no external plumbing probably wouldn't complete this mission any other way.

Not that this explains how this particular method of marking trees gets revenge on Trade Standards (unless they were coming over to boil water for tea soon).


Thanks for that, really. I mean, I thought of that too, but I was so confused by everything else I think I just filed that under 'also confusing'. However, remove that bit of confusion and we've still got an article, a court case, and a guy's life entirely about absolutely nothing that I can understand.

Go on. Explain the peeing under bright lights. Explain the freeze-frame CrapCam shot of the guy peeing in a vase and why it is necessary to publish that. Explain how he was going to turn in the agency that busted him for doing it and on what reasonable grounds.

Then and only then will we be establishing the beginnings of an understanding here, I think.


"They are out to get the working man who's good with his hands."

(I can't believe I'm the first person to bring this up.)

Why not? Thats good for the flowers. So they can grow much better.;_)

Why not? Thats good for the flowers. So they can grow much better.;_)

"Explain the freeze-frame CrapCam shot of the guy peeing in a vase and why it is necessary to publish that."

My understanding is that in the British media, partial nudity is essential.

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