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This is a very nice area. Everybody's friendly and there is scenery out the bazooty. The only thing preventing northern Minnesota from being paradise is the presence of approximately 63,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 small but extremely carnivorous flies.
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"bazooty"....hee hee....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 26, 2005 at 03:46 PM
Minnesota is full of such beauty,
That it overflows out Dave's bazooty.
The smell attracts flies,
Who bite necks, arms and thighs,
And leave welts on Dave's sweet patooty.
Posted by: Punkin (oh yeah, FIRST)Poo | July 26, 2005 at 03:52 PM
"carnivorous flies" wbagnfarb.....or maybe they're (not their or there) actually mosquitos!!
Posted by: lollyk | July 26, 2005 at 03:53 PM
Just like Florida! You must feel right at home there, Dave.
Posted by: Josh | July 26, 2005 at 03:59 PM
Ever been to New England? They train the flies to carry riders along lovely trails before the flies eat them.
Posted by: bilge | July 26, 2005 at 04:02 PM
Punkin, I am overwhelmed by your creativity.
Posted by: Tjaithne | July 26, 2005 at 04:06 PM
... and he hasn't yet met our Mosquitos???
They are Legendary!!!
EB
Posted by: EB | July 26, 2005 at 04:11 PM
The nice thing about living 25 years in Northern Minnesota is that regardless of where you move to, you can say "I miss the lakes, but other than that it is so much nicer here"
Posted by: ESBlofeld | July 26, 2005 at 04:21 PM
the Mosquitos are really bad here in Long Beach! but, I'd rather have mosquitos...than all those flies!!! yikes!
Posted by: Kathy | July 26, 2005 at 04:36 PM
Of course! If you'd done your homework on Minnesota, you would have discovered that the state bird is the mosquito!
Posted by: John | July 26, 2005 at 04:37 PM
True story: I once took a bus from Miami to Atlanta in May or June. At Jacksonville, the driver had to pull into a truck stop to wash off the hundreds of quarter-sized splotches dotting the windshield to ensure he had a clear view of the road.
Posted by: Josh | July 26, 2005 at 04:48 PM
Josh,
Ew.
Posted by: VictoriaE77 | July 26, 2005 at 05:04 PM
M.C.: YOu see how many of the entries for 'bazooty' are attributed to Dave?
Victoria: Agreed. I have a picture of it someplace but given the state of my apartment I'll probably never see it again.
Posted by: Josh | July 26, 2005 at 06:00 PM
Swat them if you can
Carnivorous flies will bite
Out the Bazooty
Minnesota's nice
'Tho there's no lava to slide
No burned bazooty:)
Posted by: russell | July 26, 2005 at 06:01 PM
your pecker may rot off dave
Posted by: guitarzan | July 26, 2005 at 06:27 PM
they might be the same blackflies that drive people crazy in northern upstate ny. bring on the deet! or stay in. other than that, enjoy your vacation dave...
Posted by: queensbee | July 26, 2005 at 06:31 PM
scat: dogsledding is too much like work to be fun - don't listen Dave - the only fun to be had in the winter in northern minnesota is ice fishing (or maybe snowmobiling) - and even then only if you drink enough schnaups to stay warm
Posted by: TCK | July 26, 2005 at 06:42 PM
Legend has it, Dave, that the miniskirt was outlawed in Minnesota due to the preponderance of young ladies who lost their "pearl of great price" to the "...approximately 63,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 small but extremely carnivorous flies." I guess that's opposed to the only somewhat carnivorous flies who occasionally pause for a bite of melon.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | July 26, 2005 at 07:11 PM
eh-hem. ...containing the song "Hollywood Freaks" . . . not that it matters, but if any of you fact-checkers were thinking of jumping on me, there you have it.
Posted by: M.C. | July 26, 2005 at 07:45 PM
I say we take Wang, strip him, cover him in BBQ sauce, and leave him tied to a tree for the mosquitos in Northern Minnesota.
Posted by: ArcaneJill | July 27, 2005 at 01:27 AM
if you're gonna do that you should do it soon. Winter comes to Baja Canada soon.
Posted by: rick | July 27, 2005 at 03:06 AM
I'm from Canada, and leaving him there would be alright too.
Posted by: meggienick | July 27, 2005 at 05:27 AM
Arcane: Do the same to "John" and "James," Wang's friends (or other identities).
Hey Judi, can't we get their return e-mail and spam 'em back? That might be fun.
Posted by: I Smell a Spam Throwdown Comin' | July 27, 2005 at 06:06 AM
what the heck is "dead burned magnesite"??
how about "tadpole tapes"?
how about somebody tapes james/john/wang's tadpole to some dead burned magnesite
Posted by: TCK | July 27, 2005 at 07:03 AM
I moved to Minnesota from the Cleveland area years ago, and I have to say that the quality of living up north is wonderful. We live on the lake and would'nt trade that for anything. You learn to love hockey(especially if your kids play in school)the bugs really don't bother me like they used to, and the cold winters really are not that bad. I also like the idea of a twenty minute commute only taking twenty minutes, if you catch my drift.
Mark Grueser
Posted by: mark grueser | October 20, 2005 at 01:38 PM