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July 27, 2005


It's getting worse.



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Size really doesn't matter, Dave.

at least this one's wearing pants

at least this one's wearing pants

my feelings exactly :) i'd love a huge gift, thanks.

So is the shop huge, are the gifts huge, or both? Inquiring Language Persons want to know!

there's an echo in here again

Huge gift shop indeed.

Inflatable Sally met Inflatable Bob. Xmas gifts for all bloggettes...

There seems to be an abudance of large men in this "mysterious north".

*books travel*

Hope that thing doesn't drop any huge gifts on Dave.

that certainly IS a huge gift. how are you going to fit it in the car?

I'm confused. Is it your camera or your height that is inadequate?

I would say both.

I would also say these store owners are secretly excellent landscapers as well. That one rock really accents the fourteen overgrown weeds.

The shop owners obviously weren't thinking clearly when they built a store that was too small to hold its own products.

If I were that guy, I'd be more careful about how I held my gun.

Yeah MC, I mean- giant Bunyans, picnic tables and oversized weeds aren't that practical as souveniers, are they? Though I do like the little howling coyote sign up top.

"Paul, wanna habt-grab that for me? BTW Nice Mullet."

judi - please tell us why Dave is in MN - seems like quite a letdown from Europe - (no offense to any MN bloggers - I'm sure it's lovely)

Anyway judi, is he there for any other reason than to send fabulous CrapCam pics to us?? :)

Is it me, or does that statue look like it has some sort of skin disease? Ick!

Can anyone identify the blue item under Dan'l's shirt that is, uh, pointing at Dave? Please?

wow jac(k)i! the power of the blog ... i'm getting a "The Server is Too Busy" message.

Nice picnic table.

Or is this Paul? Is that his Blue Ox? *ahem*

Psssst! Dave, don't look now, but Osama is standing right behind you. Get 'em!!!

I wonder if they sell huge leeches and "-cks" at that store, too?

ok. 'huge gift store'. do they only sell HUGE gifts??? I dont have that kind of room.

What the heck does a guy as big as Paul Bunyan need a gun for? Two guns? That's absurd.

Granted, they're wooden guns, which leads to the type of duels where you threaten a nasty splinter, but still, look how big the guy is!

If that's Paul Bunyan, it looks like he's sort of...melting. Hope Dave gets out of the way!

"Ooh, honey, pull over! There's another absurd thing I want a picture of!"

"We're never going to get to the hotel at this rate!"


"Okay, but from now on, we have to go at least a mile between photo stops."

Dear Dave,

If you happen to come across the Huge Gift Shop on your travels ... will you please pick up an electric ear wax cleaner for me?

($20 to anyone who gets the reference)

(OK, maybe not $20 ... more like a "good job, son" and a pat on the head)


Punky, don't you already have enough electric ear wax cleaners?

It's not for me, Leetie.

It's a gift ... for Sly. :-D


What the hell is THAT all about!?!? It's not your bad mood, that chick is WACK (apologies to Whitney Huston)

Creepy, creepy, creepy...DAMN creepy


The fact that I'd do her really freaks me out........


victoria, is that dude pleasuring himself?

punky- Parenthood of course. My pat please.

Leetie, not only is he pleasuring himself (check his facial expression!), the woman to his right seems to also be doing so, or thinking about it. Mutual Mr. Bating, perhaps?

And now, a blanket reference to several things...

Oh, good grief!!!

*pats Bumble*

Good job, son.

(my apolgies if you're a daughter, not a son. I've been away a while)

For all your huge gift needs.

yeah ... I'd like to also offer my apologies along with that previous post there, Bumble.

*accepts pat*

For future reference, I am a 21 year old girl. :-)

Vic - the caption should read:

A man fondles what's known as his 'morning word' among hundreds of sleeping tourists (not to mention in front of the Associated Press) at a shelter in downtown Cancun, Mexico in the early hours of Monday July 18, 2005 (and we're totally going to publish this picture of it for laughs).

Duly noted, Bumble. :)

I promise never to forget again.

And for the record, I am a 32 year old woman who still calls herself a girl.

Nice to meet ya.

The Lilliputian Daves wbagnfarb made up of really TALL people.

Punky - I stopped trying to clean my electric ear wax. What's the point?

Oh, for future reference, I keep 21 year old girls in this room. ----->

A few end-of-day comments:
Neatfreak: It's called "the sky."
Vic: Hilarious picture! I have it all figured out. The guy is married to the unsuspecting blonde who has the chastity plate on her stomach. He is m********ing while looking at the blonde in the yellow shirt. She's m********ing right back at him while her unsuspecting boyfriend sleeps with his back to her and a shirt on his head.

People act weird in Cancun. It's the water.

jacki, is that woman the runaway bride's missing twin?

punky- Nice to meet you, too.

Christobol- What room? Or do I even want to know?

"Punky - I stopped trying to clean my electric ear wax. What's the point?"

Well hell ... if you're not gonna use your cleaner ... can I have it?

If that pesky electric wax starts buzzing again, just let me know. I'll send the cleaner back over. Sanitized, of course.

Will do, Punky.

I've found that if I caress it lovingly and sing it Ethel Merman tunes, it stops buzzing. Or it's when I have a buzz. Something.

Well, if the wife is wearing the Plate of Virtue, what's a guy to do?

cbol ... the ear wax ... or the cleaner?

Cuz I sing to my cleaner too! Only I sing "Cool Rider" from Grease 2!

Oh yeah, definitely the cleaner. I mean, anything else would just be silly.

Jacki - Put a brunette wig on her & "Mr. Wilbanks" will be all over her! And I thought I had issues. But I don't CrapCam myself every time I see a mirror.

Wait, that didn't sound right.

I think I can state without fear of being contradicted that Minnesota is a state with too much free time on their collective hands -
For evidence I direct you to scat's links as well as all of the above....

just sayin'

*zips out to avoid any hurtling of objects*

I've plotted out Dave's seemingly confusing path from Europe, along Lake Superior and into Dulth MN. According to my forecast model of Dave's future travel plans (and Dave's obvious love of tourist traps), there is a 95% probability that his ultimate destination will be the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. I'm leaving now to beat the traffic so I can be first in line to get my corn cob autographed.

get my corn cob autographed.

That doesn't sound right either.

DaBlade - You may be onto something, but by my calculations the only sensible place for Dave to go next would be the Philippines. This is obviously because if you divided the circumference of the world by three (3) and you figured that the UK was point one (1) and MN was point two (2), that that would be the only logical place left for him to go.

Point three (3): Manila, make way for Ambassador Dave “Dave” Barry, or I'll be missing out on a corn cob signing.

Judi replied to my post! That's the next best thing to...

Wait. That most certainly doesn't sound right as well.

Anyhoo, I feel I touched by, something.

Maybe that's my problem today - hmm (wanders away muttering to self)

Oh Punky...don't sell yourself short. Dave is the only one with shrinkage today....you're a 32 year old babe!


Honey ... it's been ages since I've seen you on the blog (of course, I've been MIA myself).

What a treat to see you again! You've just made my week.

So ... how are you, sweetheart?!



p.s. sorry to the other bloglits who could get a flying rat's a-s-s about my excitement for slowlayne. Please forgive.


Honey ... it's been ages since I've seen you on the blog (of course, I've been MIA myself).

What a treat to see you again! You've just made my week.

So ... how are you, sweetheart?!



p.s. sorry to the other bloglits who could give a flying rat's a-s-s about my excitement for slowlayne. Please forgive.


M.C. - The Phillipines? Maybe, but I think there is a flaw in your travel forecast model (which uses actual numbers). Dave's not exactly a "mathmagician" you know.


What would you sing, "Everything's Coming Up Roses?"

Dave, You're standing on a I've been waiting to use that word since I saw it on a June 1969 Jeff Beck record. And now, thanks to you, I can cross that goal off my list. That's a huge gift. Thanks!

Dave, it's only a hop, skip and a jump over to Michigan from Minnesota. We don't have anything interesting to look at here either.

judi - just wondering how you are after yesterday's events at the herald. i know if that happened at my job, i'd be pretty shaken up.

For those who didn't see, look here.

Maybe best not to hurry home, Dave.

Hope you're well, Judi.

Mr. Sandwich (first name Every) - Standing on a what?

CL/Cbol - That seems unreal. Does anyone there know why? (most of the links go to their "register" page).

Well, I think the jovial mood of this thread has come to an end.

What a horrible story. My sympathies to all.

ditto what amy said

The article I read online in the Herald last night said he had two bullet holes in the back of his head - how could that be?

Condolences to all.

sct72 - The article in the Herald is much more detailed, but it is a reg. site.....

What a mess. It's unfortunate that people who do that don't consider what they're doing to others like friends and family... not to mention the poor people who have to clean it all up.

Somebody tell a joke.

I think people who do that are trying to place the blame and the guilt on anyone but themselves. "Look what you made me do."

You may be right, Amy. So was his dead body the package he was leaving for DeFede?


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i remember that one from www.bugmenot.com.

got an e-mail from judi, she's a little freaked but OK. One of the Herald reporters was fired for recording a conversation with Teele earlier that day without his knowledge...

The whole thing is sad and tragic, no matter what.

Amy - you said you wanted a joke. Well, since my engineer husband is having me make wisecracks for him on the Chelsea-cow thread, I shall now retell a joke about engineers I heard the other night on Leno: (paraphrased)

In Uganda, women who graduate college and are still virgins will get their entire tuition paid by the government. And what do guys get who graduate from college and are still virgins? An engineering degree!

Thanks for the info, DJT!

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given a red rubber ball and were told to find the volume.

The mathematician measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral (I know there's an easier way to to it... it's a joke, deal with it!).

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The engineer looked up the model and serial number on his red rubber ball table.

OK, totally-off-topic stupid question that's been bugging me:

what does NTTAWWT stand for?

it seems like the context is close to Not That That Would Be a Bad Thing, but of course that would be NTTWBABT...

and btw, it's not on the acronym page....

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Referencing the Seinfeld episode, I'm assuming.

Ok ok ok.

I got one.

A Leets, a DjT, and an Eleanor walk into a Blog, wait you can't actually walk into a blog, ok ok ok, they post simultaneously in a blog and a Bangi swings by on a Tarzan rope and then a monkey comes in a pours them a Margarita, uh, out of his butt, oh and then and then um, Eleanor, she, get this, get this, she *snorks*.

Ok ok ok

Yo momma said, I suck at telling jokes.

Boy, was she was right.

Leetie - good joke, but the physicist would more likely have a assumed a theoretical red rubber ball in orbit and estimated it's volume by the angle of neutron deflection coming through the ball.

The water displacement thing is too practical for a physicist.

It's a good thing I'm not really here.


*takes a long swig of monkeybuttarita*

Fisher, we miss you. Let us know when you're back.

thanks! I am far less puzzled now. At least by blog acronyms. Other things puzzle me regularly.

*zips in*

*chortles loudly at Mr. Fishair's joke*

Any joke that I'm in (as long as I'm not the butt of it, is a good joke, IMO!
*hee, hee, I said butt*

If I could tell jokes, I'd tell the one re 2 blonds/Florida/the sun! Cracks me up!

Yes, please, Eleanor.

Vic - I'm trying to find it. :)

sct72 -- a plinth. I tried to emphasize the word with html and instead made it vanish. apologies, I'll preview next time.

sct72 -- a plinth. I tried to emphasize the word with html and instead made it vanish. apologies, I'll preview next time.

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