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July 27, 2005


They don't actually come right out and say his name isn't "Habte-Varwell"... (Thanks to Mollenkamp)


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*bumble tackles™ bumble*

*holds and smooches*

*tosses an "s" up to blue*

I'm mailing myself Next-Day-Saver right now!


What? I never said I wasn't cheap.

Express mail: you've absolutely got to be here overnight. ;-)

*wonders if anyone'll pick up on the double entendre*

Of course you can have a *smooch*, Bumble! It's......SMOOCHFEST 2007!!

Mmmmm. First(Low)-Class In-Fifteen-Minutes-Package-Delivery it is!

*picks up double entendre*

*deposits it on the nearest couch*

geez, these doubles are a handful!

on that note, i leave you, kilties...

nite, all!

Oh please, Bumble. You ask that with THIS crowd??

Nite sgirl.

*goes out on the front porch to wait for the special Ado delivery*

sharon~ apparently I did. How very silly of me. :-)

I will be disguised as a giggling mink body-pillow.

Goodnight guys.

:-) 'Night, all.

*stops back by for a goodnight smooch*

It is SMOOCHFEST 2007? Dang. But I have to go to bed. How can I participate in SMOOCHFEST 2007 if I have to go to bed?

No fear, neo. SMOOCHFEST 2007 lasts for a whole year.

Here's one to start your day.


I bray for you.

mornin kilties

are we all still *smooch*in and *grope*in this today?

this today???


Dunno...I'm feeling rather mulish about that....

*hugs and smooches s-girl in this today*

*hopes this today will be better than this weekend*

*gets ready for school*

Which other today were you thinking of, S-Girl?

first he was bein a kissass, and now he's bein a smartass...;D

*Prepares to endure some whoopass*

ready, aim...

Some professors of English literature may find this Main Blog post a little depressing, but informative.

certain other people, who aren't professors of English literature, find it depressing also.


*adds quality reading materials to the Kilt Bookcase™*

or, for those who prefer, somethin a little lighter!

guess i'm here all alone, so i can read whomever i want.


Cute foto, sg ... hu dat?

I just posted this on the MB, but I doubt anyone's reading that thread anymore, so I'll post it here:

"His comments came as the union called for major changes to the education system that included the abolition of national examinations for pupils. The ATL would prefer a system where children were assessed by teachers."

Right. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had some idiotic teachers in my time. I'll take my chances with ISTEPs and SATs.

And what do they mean Jane Austen is boring? Pride and Prejudice was hilarious. Dave is funnier, but still. Every now and then I want a portable non-electronic chick flick. At least I’m not too stupid to understand Austen, which teens today apparently are. In their defense, I didn’t like it as much when I had to read it in high school lit; I was able to understand and relate to it much better when I was older, but at least I was exposed to it. If they wanna ditch a book from the curriculum I went through, I vote for Lord of the Flies. What a load of tripe.

Dave is funnier, but still.


bumble, we were tellin alfred about "gems" the other nite? this one was priceless. :)

and um, i liked Lord of the Flies

but since we're confessin, and i don't know if this is somethin to confess anyway, (sharon, O. the U?)i
*heart* holden caulfield.

Okay. Gem it is. :-) I just meant that Austen is a more subtle type of humor. Of course, judging by some of the humor-impaired senders of letters Dave has received, I suppose some people find his humor subtle, too. But I figure that's just because they've either got rocks or thin air for brains. Anyway, some people who laugh at Dave might not be able to find anything funny in Austen's writing. I dunno. I'll save all this for my next lit paper: Jane Austen & Dave Barry: The Sensibility of Boogers.

*submits topic to kilt lit prof/dragon for approval*

*addendum to previous comment*

bumble, i like jane austen, too :)

*heartily approves bumble's paper topic*

I LOVE Jane Austen....and I do think she's one of the funniest writers out there. No disrespect to Dave, but "Northanger Abbey" is the funniest damn book I've ever read.

S-girl...you want confession? I'll give you confession. I've never read "Catcher in the Rye". Nor have I read "Lord of the Flies". Look, I'm an early BRIT lit prof...if it was written after 1660 (Austen excepted, of course), or if it's American lit (except for Poe and Twain), I'm pretty ignorant.

Which is also the reason I've never read "Moby Dick" or "The Grapes of Wrath", either.

*waits for the great waves of shock to arrive*

sg ... nothin' to worry about there ... Holden taught me some stuff about life its ownself ... as did Ralph and the other kids, in Lord of the Flies ... (It's a lot heavier and more symbolic than Beetlejuice, even tho the title character is the same guy (being? entity? whut ever ...) with the same general mission statement ...

I thot the first "movie" of that book wuz ... perty abstract ... but MUCHLY better than the re-make ... the second try wuz a lot too much Hollywoodized fer the subject matter ...

I had some perty tuff wading to do to get thru Lord ... Flies ... but the second time wuz easier ... especially after the "discussion forum" in pre-honors English, @ the start of my college ... um ... years ... (don't wanna call it a "career" ... if it wuz, I'd still be there ...)

Sharon ... no reason for shock ... I've noticed that you academic types tend to narrow the field of experience, as a general rule ... not a crime, tho I think you're missin' some good stuff ... I've heard that Grapes of Wrath is perty decent ...

As to "funny" ... two of the most funny (personal Top 10? I dunno ... prolly personal Top 40 ... ) books I've ever read, at least in the contemporary fiction genre, would be Candy and Blue Movie ... both by Terry Southern, oddly enuf ... I'm not sure I'd put Dr. Strangelove in the "funny" category ... mebbe halfway there, but also scary ...

Of course Candy is a ... parody? ... of Voltaire (modernized, of course), and so that factiod begs several questions on the categorization of "literature" all by its ownself ...

Sourthern is/wuz perty dang good ... perhaps his non-USA POV had somethin' to do with that ...

I don't think the fact that you've not read Catcher ... is terribly significant ... tho it could be, I dunno ... I think that one is more for bein' a part of the "growing up" transitions of guys, than it is of gals ... there's gotta be a similar item out there for the feminine gender ... mebbe that's Jane Austen? I dunno ... can't say I've ever read her stuff ... (shock attack! shock attack! ... from the other side ...)

Well I found out why I couldn't sign in. I was dropped. The F in spanish put me in academic suspension. All of my classes have been dropped. So my life takes a wrather different turn here.
I would take it badly, but I see a happy thing.
I was just recently paid for the 2 quarters I had to pay out of pocket for. Far more then what I paid. I have money for some extra things around the house. Or, more then likely, help with rent. Quite nice really.
The big news is, I have enough spare money to go to Argentina. I have never been. I am working on getting my papers in order today. The passport is all I need. And then money for the ticket. And possible a digital camera to take proper pictures.
My Dad is kind of disbelieving over it. I really hope he doesn't take it as some kind of insult. He paid for the classes with his money. I offered to pay him back with what I received. But he said I should keep it.

So I will be taking this hard crusty badness from my failure in spanish, to go to Argentina.

Linguini sounds awful when coming of the tongue. Though I should say it is quite easy to do. I have practiced a couple times before. I showed my pride over the matter by turning a proud red.

I didn't like sense and sensibility. It just wasn't my style. For some odd reason, I kept imagining the characters as Paris Hilton and other rich herressi I have met.

Pride and Prejudice was a little better. Though I think she was the prejudiced one.

Give me - and my daughters - plenty of Brit lit, old and modern, please. (But Lord of the Flies need not be among them.)

This may sound odd, but I consider Douglas Adams' writing much more thought-provoking than he is given credit for (or that he gave himself credit for). Behind the inventive humor lurks a lot of meaningful stuff. And I'll say this here, but not on the main blog, I like Adams's work even more than Dave's.

The Main Blog post that indicated that some British educators are not bothering to teach young folks the classic British works because they are thought by the kids to be "boring" is most disturbing. It won't be long before the ancient classics fall into the rubbish heap as well. Utterly, utterly sad. I would suggest that it's the teachers' jobs to bring to light the riches of these works if they are not intrinsically obvious. In other words, help them to understand, don't just give up altogether and turn to easier, more entertaining material. Incorporate the modern into the curriculum, but don't substitute it outright for the classics.

*Wipes foam from lips*

That's an "interesting" turn in your road of life, Alfred ... enjoy Argentina!

most ridiculous thing i ever had to read in high school english:Jonathan Livingston Seagull...

(apologies if this book altered your life in a deep, spiritually significant, and meaningful way)

hehehe...insom said "meaningful"

i read that book many years ago, but i don't remember a thing about it. it musn't have impressed me too much.

i did, however, enjoy reading O. Henry, and thought "The Ransom of Red Chief" was excellent.

and Alfred, good luck on your argentine trip, and have a great time!

Books I hated upon reading them in school: The Chocolate War, Fahrenheit 451, Crime and Punishment, Dandelion Wine, A Separate Peace, Lord of the Flies, and the worst offender, assigned by an imbecilic feminist nut of a teacher who named her dog after the author: The Awakening by Kate Chopin. <---Awful awful load of crap. I was the only girl in my class who thought that, so I ended up siding with the boys, but they didn't want a girl on their side, so I was in a category of my own in that class.

Books I didn't quite hate: Huckleberry Finn, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre (It was a little bit heavy for me in 8th grade).

Books I liked: Of Mice and Men, Pride and Prejudice.

Books I loved: The Hobbit, To Kill a Mockingbird, Dragonsong.

I've since read other "classics" on my own that piqued my curiosity. I re-read Pride and Prejudice and liked it much better the second time, and I read Silas Marner, Sense and Sensibility, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (good, but utterly dark and depressing; I like the Disney movie better. Everyone dies in the book, good or bad), Little Women (and Little Men; on the whole I liked Little Men better), The Scarlet Pimpernel, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, and A Christmas Carol. I've bought several others and intend to read them at some point (The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo, more Austen, some Mark Twain), but I tend to read more fantasy/fiction stuff than I do classics. I love Anne McCaffrey, I’m a Harry Potter fan, and I used to like Robert Asprin. And I love L.M. Montgomery. She's got a lot more to offer than Anne of Green Gables. If you good book-loving girls out there have never read The Blue Castle, do so. It's an excellent book, and it's absolutely hilarious. Thus ends my literary analyses for the day. This is almost a book by itself now; sorry about that.

sharon~ I’ve got a copy of Northanger Abbey, but I haven’t read it yet. I think I’ll bump it up on the list a bit. :-)

D'oh! I kilt the kilt.

*revives the kilt*

*tackles s-girl in an excess of relieved-ness*

*finds herself the recipient of a Bumble Tackle™*

*grins and smooches*

When you're done smooching, grab my copy of The Blue Castle and give it a read. And let your daughter read it too. Trust me; it's good. Don't judge it by the cover either; the cover art bears no similarity to the characters or the plot. The drawing makes it look like some sort of chic people romance novel, which it is definitely not. :-)

thanks for the warning...i wouldn't have picked it up otherwise. ;)

*is hurt because her literary opinions aren't trusted*

Particularly by someone who liked Lord of the Flies... ;-)

Just teasing. I know you have excellent taste; you like Dave, and I think you liked The Fairy Rebel, am I right? Lord of the Flies just wasn't my cup of tea, and I got the only D+ I ever got on a paper (my term paper, no less) over that stupid book, so I have very sour memories of it.

The Blue Castle is about a Canadian girl (like all of Montgomery's books) who has led a very sheltered shut-in life and been oppressed by her overly conservative relatives (I'm part of a relatively conservative family, so when I say overly, I mean overly; they thought reading novels was evil). She finds out that she has a terminal illness and decides to throw caution to the wind and live for the rest of her life, and she throws her entire family and community into shock in the process, has many hilarious adventures, and gets involved with people the likes of whom her Victorian/moral high horse family wouldn't nod at in the street. It's a really good book. My summary doesn't do it justice, but I really can't without giving away all the twists and secrets that are best discovered in the reading. But it's excellent. I promise. :-)

Particularly by someone who liked Lord of the Flies

now that's just cold.


but bumble, you misunderstood.

i would have picked the book up based soley upon your recommendation, because i've done so before and have never been disappointed. i only meant that had you not said anything, and i'd come across this book on my own, i wouldn't have given it a second glance. :)

and yes. the littlest sg and myself both enjoyed the fairy rebel.

Ahh. Gotcha now.

*feels better*

:-) Glad you guys liked The Fairy Rebel. I know I've told you before, but you really must get her Ella Enchanted and The Two Princesses of Bamarre. Excellent young reader-type books. A Royal Pain is good, too. Very funny.

Bumble...I, too, trust your literary acumen, though I must admit I'm a leeeeeeetle perturbed by your quickness to relate the terms "feminist" with "nut". Now, I know you're talking about one person, but the way you wrote it CAN be read as more expansive than that. As a stalwart feminist myself, I work very hard to make the word "feminist" NOT a dirty or perjorative word. Just sayin'.


In general, I would agree. Being an advocate of your sex is one thing, and is quite just. But being an advocate of stamping on and reviling the ability unique to your sex is quite another.

I want to love, marry, and procreate some day, and I don't think that makes me pathetic or anti-feminist. I also don't believe I should be granted special privileges just because certain women (who may very well have been passed over in favor of men because the men in question were more competent, qualified, whatever) feel they've been wronged. I realize that this is not always the case and that some women are indeed unfairly treated just because they’re female, but I think a few examples of that occurrence have become a bandwagon which lazy and incompetent women have jumped on. Equal rights, yes. More/better rights, no. My general impression of feminism (from a limited number of unintelligent feminists, I grant you) is that it's whiny and that it damns and dismisses values and aspirations that I hold very dear.

I despised the book The Awakening. I found the main character to be a pathetic and weak individual who was selfish and stupid, and I think anyone who idolizes her views and behavior is a fool. This particular teacher did so, and many of the girls in my class did as well. It was and still is absolutely repugnant to me.

Sorry to be so serious. That book touched a nerve; I hate it more than anything I ever read, and it still makes me angry to this day that I was forced to read and discuss it against my will, and that it was allowed to influence so many people at such young ages.

This seems to be my day for long posts. Booger! :-)

Darling Bumble, I said nothing against your view of the book, or your ideas or anything like that...I hope understand that. I just drew attention to some problematic wording I saw that I think was speaking to something I believe you didn't actually mean to say.

I know you weren't; I just wanted to explain why I said what I did. I know all feminists aren't nuts, but she was. And so was Kate Chopin, as far as I'm concerned.


Well, Bumble, I hope that if hanging out here has shown you anything, it's that strong feminists aren't whiny or degrading or prejudiced or damning. Personally, I haven't seen a lot of that here. Or any, really. The people I have met here on this blog (feminist men as well as women) are the smartest, kindest, most tolerant, funniest, wittiest, most caring and giving individuals it has been my privilege to call friends.

This is true. I was referring to feminists I'd met in person. My above remarks were in no way meant to reference any of the bloggits or kilties. I guess I just don't tend to think of you as feminists since we spend more time engaged in pervy sparring than serious discussions of the human condition.

I love you guys; I'm sorry if my comments offended anyone or brought the mood down; clearly they kilt the kilt, but that wasn't my intention. That whole book thing just touched a chord and sent me on a rolling rampage of roiling remembrances. I'll shut up and do my German homework now.

{{{sharon & everybody else}}}

One more reason I'm as sensitive as I am on that subject: I was once good friends with a boy named Alex. Upon learning that marriage and children were my long-term ambition (one of them, anyway), he told me in no uncertain terms that I was foolish to desire such things and that I'd be wasting my life if I pursued them; that I should aspire to be more than a wife and mother.

I was very hurt by him saying that. The fact that I want a loving relationship and children someday doesn't cancel out the possibility of doing anything else in my life; that's why I'm getting a college degree, but my mother has been a shining example of everything a good parent is throughout my life, and if I ever have the opportunity to follow in her footsteps and shape the lives of her grandchildren the way she has shaped mine, I would consider it to be my most important accomplishment.

I suppose my rage at Alex's attitude and the mindset communicated in that book are misplaced on feminists in general, but I realize that's not what it's all about. I've just had two occasions in my life where I was very hurt by intolerant attitudes masquerading as feminism, and it stuck with me.

I hope I didn’t offend any of you the same way with what I said; that’s the last thing I’d want. Really. Forgive me?

what's with all this drama?

can i get a *neener*?


Bumble, I had a college professor and another college instructor both tell me the same thing; I mentioned marriage and motherhood and they both told me I was "better" than that. Mind you, this was at University; it isn't as if I was letting my brain rot at the time.

Some people have translated the idea of freedom to mean free to do the things that THEY value. These women didn't value the "outdated" concept of hearth and home and so tried to tell me that those weren't worthy goals. I believe they were wrong.

However, I chose my college major based on what I loved (teaching preschoolers) figuring income wouldn't matter since I was already engaged to a man who would earn a healthy income. THAT was a bad decision; I learned the hard way that every person needs to have job skills to earn a living wage.

Speaking of which, I lost my job yesterday, so be thinking positive vibes my direction, please!

*resumes booger jokes and perving*


*luvs positive vibes in neo's direction*

i hope this job loss turns into something extremely positive for you. :)

*gropes neo pervily*

she said so!


There's nothing to forgive, honey. But awareness...that's key, and that's something I've seen from you a LOT. So that's why it threw me to see you toss such a prejudiced view out so easily and without thought. You and your goals/desires are valuable...don't EVER let anyone tell you differently (like I needed to tell you that....DUH!). And on the other side of that coin, I cannot tell you how many times I've been told that I'm NOT valuable, or worth having a life with, worth loving, worth anything, really...just because I can't have children anymore. So there's your catch-22....and there's one of the true inequities we face.

*luvs s-girl a NEENER!*

*luvs Neo a HOLY CRAP!, a biiiiiiig hug, and all the positive vibes she can carry*

Thanks; it will. I'm positive. ;)
And yep, I did! And I'd say it again, if need be!

*pervs S'girl gropily*

it doesn't need be.

*gropervly smooches neo*

*smoopes neo pergropily*

Oooo, this is FUN!

*perches S'girl and Sharon smoovily*

*leers inappropriately and drops a vibe into the mix*

*pervoneoly grapes sharon*

*vibily pooches s-girl's and neo's groops*

Hey ladies....nice groops, btw!

neo~ I'm well aware of the need to be able to earn a livable wage. And even if I wasn't to begin with, my aforementioned mother has made certain I am. She always regretted not finishing her degree and not having the security it would have brought. She's been dependent on my dad, who's a jackass, but that's a whole other story. What I want out of life isn't guaranteed to happen, and if it doesn't I fully intend to be able to be independent if I have to. Thus I slave through these dreadful classes and work my way toward a business degree one step at a time. I just resent being told that one is better than the other.

sharon~ You are valuable, worth having a life with, worth loving, worth EVERYTHING really. Can I keep you?


*smooches and gropes everybody*

*dashes off to bed to re-charge in preparation for a day filled with work, school and choir practice*


Lead me to whatever individual let you go you so I can give them a piece of my mind and let them know what an excellent employee they're losing.

*flaunts groopies*

Don't look now, but I think Bumble just hugged me from bed!!

*verbily grooches and pugs under all the Kilt*

Hee hee heeeeee

And yes, Bumble...you can keep me!


Thanks for those extraordinarily kind words...though I'm sure I don't need to tell you that this is hardly my own definition of myself! And to those who are so narrowminded as to think such a thing......?


Wow. All sorts of drama here today.

It takes at least 6 weeks for a passport to happen. I was hoping it would come faster. But thats alright.

Most of the times I hear a guy say, "Why would you sink so low." to marriage, they where trying to get lucky.

I have met some brave women. They stood up to the social norms that brought them down.
I have also met men who acted like children because the culture around them treated them as such.

One of the most Christ like men I have met, survived the holocaust.

I wish my hometown had a YWCA. I wish most of my friends had gone to it for help.

I am remembering seeing a shia man help a sunni woman with her bags. He recognized a fellow refugee.

I personally hate having to talk about the skinheads I saw and knew in Idaho. I personally hate talking about drunkards in the Rezs I have lived on.

One of my favorite teachers gave me a C. I have to retake the class. Yet I find my self not holding bitterness over the grade I recieved. I want to. I did my best on the papers. And yet, all I got was a C.

I failed spanish, it gave me the courage to see Argentina.

Such oddities reality makes.

Alfred, you can usually expedite the passport process. For a significant fee.

Wait. Come to think of it, when we last put a rush job on them, it was pre 9/11. I've no idea if the process can be sped up anymore. So... this is a post full of outdated information. :) Still, it might be worth investigating.

Yep, you can still put a "rush" order in ... we had that option before our trip to Ireland last fall (never had a passport before) ... but we'd done our homewerk and got them in June or July ... but the option is there ... for a hefty fee ... I'm wantin' to say somethin' like an extra $95 ... or more?

(I'll go look it up, I've still got that site bookmarked ...)

Dang! The pages are there, but they won't load ... passport "assistance" companies exist, some claim "two weeks" expedited service, at least one claims they can get yours to you within 24 hours ... din't check those prices ...

Whut I saw on one page, tho ... makes me think the base price may have gone up since last summer ... even for the "four to six weeks" delivery, and one site suggests that it might take as long as five months ... (scare tactics to take your "rush" money, I'm thinkin' ...)

No price quotes on "rush" service ... I wuz in a hurry, and I've already got mine, so I din't wanna fill out all those forms ... again ...

It's ok. I visit the post office tomorow and find out what I need to do.

That'll do, Alfred ... the larger POs even have photo facilities on premises, to assist you in that part of speedin' up the process ...

I can't possibly cover all the huge topics brought up here since I last posted, except to say:

To Bumble: follow your muse, bypass and forget the ignorant people who would judge and put limitations on your ambitions. Feminism in its rightful form allows for freedom of choice in the course of your life and equal opportunity to pursue your dreams, whatever they are.

To Sharon: I know that you know that we know how immensely talented, worthwhile and truly, delightfully awesome you are, but in light of the callous idiocy that you reported, it still needs to be said loudly and clearly.

To Alfred: sorry to hear of your difficulties, and I hope you can make the most of your Argentina opportunity. It sounds to me like you travel with your eyes wide open, and you know how to make whatever experiences you have meaningful. Go, and enjoy. Come back, and pursue that which interests you with gusto*.

To Neo: What rotten news that is, but, you seem to have an innate ability to find silver linings amid the clouds, and to recognize and walk through the door that always opens somewhere when one is closed. The failure of your employer to retain someone of your worth is their loss. You will survive and thrive.

To all of the Kilties: why is everyone speaking Vogon?

*Anyone have a good recipe for gusto?

apparently, nobody has anything in the way of gusto today.

*Shares a bowl of gusto over linguini with S-Girl*

Recipe for gusto:

1 cup vim
1/2 cup chutzpah
1 tbs bravery
1 tbs guts
1 tbs fortitude
4 ozs strength (soften to room temperature before mixing)
4 ozs enthusiasm (you can get "enthused" or "extra-enthused")
1 cubit spontaneity
A dash of serendipity
Wedge of lemon for garnish.

(and *SMOOCH!* Thank you, blue)

mmmm...just in time for lunch!

The gusto is lovely, but for some reason this linguini keeps rolling off my tongue.

Here...this sprezzatura cheese should take care of that problem, neo.

*snorks @ and hugs everybody*

*dashes of to Qdoba for some gusto dip and chips*

mmmm, cheese!

*snaps a pic of neo*

Dang! Sharon, that one is NOT going up on the Y! I had sprezzatura on my chin!


*posts pic of sprezzatura-ed neo up on the Kiltie bulletin board*

But hey...at least the mustache and red nose are things of the past, eh?


*flings gooey, stringy, melted spezzuratelli* cheese at Sharon*

*Spezzuratelli is the act of making something extremely easy look terribly difficult

*surreptitiously loves Neo some floss*

surreptitious sprezzatura WBAGNF...nothing!

*pour some surrep into the pot of gusto*

*pours mixture over spezzuratelli*

My GAWD this deceptively easy dish was SOOOOOOO very difficult to make, but you made it look so EASY, neo, in your own quiet and unassuming way!

*blinks rapidly, in shock*

I do believe that it is the ONLY time in my life anyone has used he word "quiet" in connection with me.

*quietly adds floss (candy floss, of course) to the surrepy mixture*

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