DUMB CRIMINAL

Dumber victim.

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

Comments

[Dave (not Barry)]

That guy's gonna get caught sooner or later, and they'll send him to a drive-through jail.

[Marvin]

He's a hero! No shots fired, no casualties! No...brains!

[snif]

Sure... here ya go!

[Lou Bricant]

Man, these guys ARE stupid. Why use the Drive-Up Teller Service when there is Online Banking available? Just send your Hold Up E-mail from home and, viola, you got your 56K.

[insomniac]

"Police identified the robber through his threatening penmanship."

[queensbee]

duhduhduh. they really need to stop these idjits from reproducing. then again, who would we laugh at?

[long tall texan]

impersonating a painter is a felony in some states.

painter 1: "GET ON THE FAUX, NOW!"
painter 2: "dude, you're supposed to say "get on the FLOOR now."
painter 1: "that's what I said."
painter 2: "no it isn't - you said "get on the FAUX".
painter 1: "man, you been sniffin' too much thinner."
teller: "um, guys? did you want this money, or what?
painter 2: "shut up, ho - can't you see we caulkin' here?"

[MOTW]

Good one, Lou.

This reporter has learned that the teller was also duped by her teenage son, who demanded a 2006 Corvette and a condo. She has a rare disorder that affects 1 out of 5 million people, Halloweenitis (a.k.a., doormatoditis), where the person feels compulsed to provide for anyone who asks. "I feel so ashamed. I knew it was getting out of hand when I sent my ten year-old daughter and her Girl Scout troop on a 12-day European cruise. And now, I have to give to anyone, whether they are related to me or not," wept the woman. She asked not to be identified, in order to avoid incurring anymore debt.

[MOTW]

Good one, Lou.

This reporter has learned that the teller was also duped by her teenage son, who demanded a 2006 Corvette and a condo. She has a rare disorder that affects 1 out of 5 million people, Halloweenitis (a.k.a., doormatoditis), where the person feels compulsed to provide for anyone who asks. "I feel so ashamed. I knew it was getting out of hand when I sent my ten year-old daughter and her Girl Scout troop on a 12-day European cruise. And now, I have to give to anyone, whether they are related to me or not," wept the woman. She asked not to be identified, in order to avoid incurring anymore debt.

[kibby F5�]

Wonder if I could get a college degree like that too?

[Eleanor]

ROFL, MOTW!!

Teller at drive-up window to robber:

Do you want that in small bills or hundreds?

Robber: Either way, just make it quick before I run out of gas!

Teller: Here you go. Have a nice day and come back and see us!

[MOTW]

Long Tall - Rolling on the faux laughing.

Eleanor - Teller: "Oh, you need gas? I have a brother who owns a station a couple blocks down. He'll be happy to give you free gas!"

(sadly, Halloweenitis runs in families)

[not sayin']

Amy,
ck your em.

[Eleanor]

MOTW: Exactly!!! *snork*

[AcuZod]

I bet all they got was paper money. Obviously that teller didn't have any cents.

[M.C.]

If the drive-through robber does not get caught, I don't think he's all that dumb... Moreover, I will wonder "Why didn't I think of that?" in the criminal alter-ego department of my brain.

Smarter even still: if the teller is actually his girlfriend, but that's probably too perfect to orchestrate.

[Melissa]

Makes me proud to be from Chicago.

[Tamara]

Oooh, I suddenly feel like a Friday afternoon trip to the bank!

LTT - that was good!

[tracey]

I used to live in LaSalle (and also Peru and Ladd. Now when people ask why I left, I can show them this article.

[Jeff Meyerson]

MOTW & Eleanor: come on, doesn't the phrase "playing dumb" or "inside job" sound a little more believable than that this boob would pass $56,000 down the tube?

[FCDA]

Jeff: No.

[Jeff Meyerson]

So you trust this teller to be that dumb? Come on! Why didn't she give the guy $500 instead of $56,000?

[Jeff Meyerson]

So you trust this teller to be that dumb? Come on! Why didn't she give the guy $500 instead of $56,000?

Wait, don't tell me; your clients were always innocent, right?

[Anrogenous Ray]

"Grainy video footage captured the LaSalle bank robbery." Maybe it was the crapcam!

"The man used a hand gun concealed in the buckets."
Ok, here's how immature my sense of humour is, at first I thought that sadi concealed in the BUTTOCKS. ... Matbe I'm still thinking about the bottle rocket.

[Anrogenous Ray]

"Grainy video footage captured the LaSalle bank robbery." Maybe it was the crapcam!

"The man used a hand gun concealed in the buckets."
Ok, here's how immature my sense of humour is, at first I thought that sadi concealed in the BUTTOCKS. ... Matbe I'm still thinking about the bottle rocket.

[FCDA]

Jeff: Because he asked for 56K - duh! And the bank trained her to be nice to the customers!

[DaBlade]

KEEP THE 56 THOUSAND DOLLARS!! JUST SHOW ME ONE DRIVE THROUGH CLERK WHO WILL GIVE ME MY ENTIRE FAST FOOD ORDER ONE FREAKIN' TIME WITHOUT LEAVING OUT A BURGER OR AN ORDER OF FRIES OR MY HAPPY MEAL PRIZE....!

*falls to floor clutching chest*

[Bumble]

I recall reading about a man who set out to rob a bank. He went into Bank of America and wrote on a deposit slip, "This iz a stikup. Giv me al yore munny." While waiting in line to give his note to the teller, he became worried that someone might have seen him write the note, so he went across the street to a different bank. He gave his note to the teller there, and she, surmising that he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, told him she couldn't accept his stickup note because it was on a Bank of America deposit slip; he would either have to fill out one for this bank, or go back to Bank of America. Disappointed, he left, and was arrested 10 minutes later while waiting in line at Bank of America.

[Insightful]

Wow, how dense can everyone get. Tellers are trained to COMPLY. It's not their money, they are not supposed to be heros. Tellers are not law enforcement, how do they know the criminals aren't lying or only a diversion? Tellers are not the banks, they dont' have to worry about the money. It's FDIC ensured. For $15/hr, I doubt any teller is making enough money to prevent robberies.

[just sayin']

Hear, Hear.
i cashed checks for a living at one time...we were always told that if robbed, hand the money over cheerfully. a life is more important than insured moolah.

[Bumble]

My manager told me the same thing when I cashiered at Hobby Lobby. He'd been held up once before. He said he complied and the robber was quite polite and went away.

[U.O]

Yah, when My Bride worked in a Teller line, they told them that also ... hand over the money ... but she never made $15/hour ... barely half of that ...