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July 22, 2005

DO YOU LOVE DOGS AND ENJOY GOOD POETRY?

Then for God's sake do not click here.

(Thanks to Iowacookiemom)

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me again...

First?

Alas, I'm not first.
thirst for first has beaten me.
I post in disgrace.

As punishment Bumble, you must wear Fido's hood. If you yell "first" again out of order, we will neuter you. Then mudstuffin will write a poem about it. We are a very strict blog.

Always, sniffing
I will find them someday
My missing balls

Always sniffing
I will find them someday
My missing balls

Always sniffing
I will find them someday
My missing balls

*tucks tail between legs and whimpers*

Always sniffing
I will find them someday
My missing balls

You have a tail already? Fido - is that you? If so, we have an appointment with the vet in an hour...

Haven't found them yet, but terribly sorry about sending the same damn message over and over and over. SOmehow its just not as funny the 27th time.

The 27th time?

bumble sits in the corner
hang-dog look, downcast eyes
enormous collar conical, comical
near the rump, a small blood-stain
bad blogger, bad

Actually, Rick, for me it got funnier the more often I read it. Each time I discovered a new level of meaning, a new depth, a new frission of je ne sais quois-ness, if you will.

I'm not so surprised
To learn that tons of folks can't
Count their syllables

Reading through some of the poetry on that site, I have come to the conclusion that many of those writers post here on the blog. Or many of our bloggers post on that site. Or something like that.

Scroll down the read the one written by commodore. It's hilarious.

But, I thought you said I was going to the vet to be "tutored"!!

You are. You'll be tutored in the art of not humping the sofa.

I think that I shall never see
A neutered dog that will not pee

Upon his owner's sleeping breast
Or on his toothbrush, whilst he rest

A dog seeks but one thing all day
Each thing he mounts, as if to say

"My love for you I seek to share
I chewed your favorite underwear"

Bereft of balls, his spirit slain
His sunshine hidden by your reign

Dogs are cut by fools like me,
But only God can stop their pee.

Family member...
I lick myself, wipe my butt
on the white carpet

The zip is certainly out of that Zippy.

Neutered I may be,
They should have taken my teeth.
Revenge will be sweet...

Powerless, neutered,
Weakened by vasectomy;
All c0ck and no balls

Here I sit
Brokenhearted
Tried to lick
Can't get started

After reading his "poetry" I'm starting up a collection to get Mr. Rowley neutered. Stop him before he breeds!

While Neutered Dog Haikus WBAGNFARB, I can't help but wonder how Iowacookiemom found that site.

Did she "google" Neutered Dog Haikus or what?

Ode ot an olde Dave column

His owner must think he's a hippy
He's took his dog in for a snippy
From humping retired,
Now constantly tired
He's taken the zip out of Zippy

that was the funniest. alas, i suck at writing haikus.

surprisingly i'm
the dog who ate mother's toes.
she had me neutered

Snipped dog poetry
I'm not really sure, but was
Richard Gere involved?

sct32: would "snipped doggy dog" be a good name for a hip-hop "artist".

Not unless they want to get "snipped" themselves!

my dog looks so sad
him and i should play a game
fetch your balls fido

Thanks a lot, Christobol... how does one go about removing a fine spray of Aquafina Flavor Splash from between computer keys????

*correction*

snip snip was the sound
I cut cat's hair in my dream
I woke with no balls

I think I'll stick to writing soft porn. :)

Carry on.

snip snip was the sound
I cut cat's hair in my dream
I awoke with no balls

I think I'll stick to writing soft porn. :)

Ooh cool! My mistake came AFTER my correction. Ain't that a hoot.

"Good" poetry?

I'm sorry, nothing personal, but much of it is mere doggerel ...

**Looks for something to throw at U.O.**

now, now. i'm sure this is what U.O ment.
doggerel:2: An elevated mass-transit system for canines.

HMMM, all these shaggy dog stories where the doggies zip got zapped. Ya'll need to meet my St. Bernard named Jack.

We too had Jacks balls given a whack. Thinking he would lose his interest in the ladies. Unfortunately, now he pays us back by howling and humping us or the bed if ever a pheromone hits the air. In fact it's quite risky,( no matter where he is in our home,) if ever we even think we might like to get frisky.

Shut the door you say, yep we've tried it that way but the door and the carpet didn't stand a chance against the onslaught of his huge craggy paws or his slobbery jaws. Now the whole neighborhood knows before we yell thar she blows. Cause Jack howls every time underneath our windows.

Sorry folks, couldn't get the problem into an easy rhyme. So much for no zip. We can figure out a solution and I'm too embarrassed to call the vet up to ask how we can stuff his nose so he doesn't smell any pheromones when we are thinking about getting frisky.

HMMM, all these shaggy dog stories where the doggies zip got zapped. Ya'll need to meet my St. Bernard named Jack.

We too had Jacks balls given a whack. Thinking he would lose his interest in the ladies. Unfortunately, now he pays us back by howling and humping us or the bed if ever a pheromone hits the air. In fact it's quite risky,( no matter where he is in our home,) if ever we even think we might like to get frisky.

Shut the door you say, yep we've tried it that way but the door and the carpet didn't stand a chance against the onslaught of his huge craggy paws or his slobbery jaws. Now the whole neighborhood knows before we yell thar she blows. Cause Jack howls every time underneath our windows.

Sorry folks, couldn't get the problem into an easy rhyme. So much for no zip. We can figure out a solution and I'm too embarrassed to call the vet up to ask how we can stuff his nose so he doesn't smell any pheromones when we are thinking about getting frisky.

HMMM, all these shaggy dog stories where the doggies zip got zapped. Ya'll need to meet my St. Bernard named Jack.

We too had Jacks balls given a whack. Thinking he would lose his interest in the ladies. Unfortunately, now he pays us back by howling and humping us or the bed if ever a pheromone hits the air. In fact it's quite risky,( no matter where he is in our home,) if ever we even think we might like to get frisky.

Shut the door you say, yep we've tried it that way but the door and the carpet didn't stand a chance against the onslaught of his huge craggy paws or his slobbery jaws. Now the whole neighborhood knows before we yell thar she blows. Cause Jack howls every time underneath our windows.

Sorry folks, couldn't get the problem into an easy rhyme. So much for no zip. We can figure out a solution and I'm too embarrassed to call the vet up to ask how we can stuff his nose so he doesn't smell any pheromones when we are thinking about getting frisky.

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