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July 25, 2005
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He's at a bacteria filled beach. Bad choice of vacation locations, Dave.
Posted by: Somewhere North | July 25, 2005 at 05:57 AM
Dave, you ARE in Minnesota! Why the heck are you in Duluth? Enjoying the algae blooms in their full glory, perhaps? The bacteria-wading is really overrated, take my word.
Greetings from sunny Minneapolis, good sir!
Posted by: Targetgirl | July 25, 2005 at 06:04 AM
What does one do in Duluth?
Posted by: snif | July 25, 2005 at 06:04 AM
But, "Bacteria Filled Beach" WBAGNFARB.
Posted by: spinner8 | July 25, 2005 at 06:05 AM
What, is Cher reprising her Farewell Tour stop in Duluth?
Posted by: Boo Augustus | July 25, 2005 at 06:06 AM
And the CrapCam couldn't get a better shot of that potentially cute blond in the picture?
At least there's bacteria involved. That always makes things better.
Posted by: Federal Duck | July 25, 2005 at 06:07 AM
What, is Cher reprising her Farewell Tour stop in Duluth?
Posted by: Boo Augustus | July 25, 2005 at 06:08 AM
In the Family Legacy article. Not Lance Armstrong. NTTAWWT.
Posted by: Federal Duck | July 25, 2005 at 06:09 AM
I've got it! He's in Topeka!
Posted by: �LabSpecimen� | July 25, 2005 at 06:10 AM
An author while visiting Duluth
Thought beaches there quite uncouth
While wading Superior
His T-cells got wearier
An iminent infection forsooth.
Posted by: Nagada | July 25, 2005 at 06:15 AM
are you on a speaking tour of the upper midwest mayhap? even tho its hot out there, its a much better idea to visit duluth -- if you must visit there -- in july than january.
Posted by: queensbee | July 25, 2005 at 06:15 AM
happy birthday to me! =D
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | July 25, 2005 at 06:20 AM
sorry about the double post. >
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | July 25, 2005 at 06:22 AM
happy birthday to me! =D
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | July 25, 2005 at 06:23 AM
what the heck? it's like i entered the twilight zone.
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | July 25, 2005 at 06:25 AM
jamie, could be worse. Your Twilight Zone could be in Duluth!
Get Dave's autograph?
Posted by: kibby F5� | July 25, 2005 at 06:30 AM
I'd ask Dave to come visit me down here in southeast Minnesota, but I've made the drive from here to Duluth, and it's five hours of hell. Oh, well.
Posted by: Karlota | July 25, 2005 at 06:31 AM
jamie - happy birthday. May the Force be with you.
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 25, 2005 at 06:31 AM
jamie - brilliant brithday trick! Obviously the force is with you - Happy Birthday! And also Happy Birthday to queensbee who told us her b-day was Saturday!
*waits for Dave to answer the question on all blogger's minds - WTF?????*
Posted by: Eleanor | July 25, 2005 at 06:43 AM
Jamie,
How old are you?
Being that you're a star wars fan and can type, I'm guessing 13, or so.
Posted by: Bo Knows | July 25, 2005 at 06:45 AM
Dave, make sure you take the drive up the coast of Lake Superior, it is gorgeous, but even better in the first week of Oct. Temperance River was where we always camped, when I was younger. Nice rocky beach. Prolly full of GenXers now.
Make sure you've got plenty of mosquito repellant. They are classed as Birds in MN!!
Beware of inland, though; lots of Paranoids hole up in Cabins up there. Unless they're on lake Superior. Then, they are Millionaires.
Posted by: EB | July 25, 2005 at 06:57 AM
COVERING THE NORTHLAND'S NEWS FOR 135 YEARS
After that many years, we've learned to sensationalize the trivial and the obvious.
Duluth News Tribune
BEACHES FULL OF BACTERIA
. . . also, water . . .
Posted by: MOTW | July 25, 2005 at 07:00 AM
.. what you do in Duluth??? Say hello to my Psychotic pt.s walking the strets there.. but don't mention my name!!!
Posted by: EB | July 25, 2005 at 07:19 AM
Are there Minnesota mollusks in that lake? Then instaed of CRAPCAM it should be CLAMCRAP.
Posted by: Marinade Dave | July 25, 2005 at 07:35 AM
Are there Minnesota mollusks in that lake? Then instaed of CRAPCAM it should be CLAMCRAP.
Posted by: Marinade Dave | July 25, 2005 at 07:39 AM
Nice Fed. She lost her parents in an accident, and you're hitting on her. Maybe next summer, they could make a movie about you: The Funeral Crashers.
FWIW, my guess was that she was log rolling.
Posted by: Brad | July 25, 2005 at 08:00 AM
There is no way Dave is in Topeka because, trust me, NOTHING funny has happened here in years. Well, there was that incident when a rotten tree next to city hall leaped to it's death atop an old Buick. While the story had potential, it "ahem" fell flat when the city refused to reimburse the newly carless gentleman. Relied on the old "Act of God" dodge. While it's true that Buicks are pretty darned ugly, this is the only one in recorded history that God actually flailed with a whole tree.
Posted by: I Hear Dread People | July 25, 2005 at 08:11 AM
Dave,
I know you probably have heard "scare stories" about agent orange. Well, they're true.
Nevertheless, it's the only thing that can save you from the mosquitoes and horseflies that will carry you off to their lair if you go outside in Duluth in July.
Still, have fun.
Posted by: Christobol | July 25, 2005 at 08:13 AM
Hey Dave are you up there trying to get Prince to play on the next Remainders Tour? Cool... Drink alot of Lienekugels or what ever the name is of that beer from up there , eh ? That 'll keep the mosquito's away ..Not..
Posted by: Sean | July 25, 2005 at 08:36 AM
Yeah Dave,
What about the blone and what IS she looking at?
Posted by: morty | July 25, 2005 at 08:49 AM
Fed, it looks like you have yourself a co-star! Morty, you could win best supporting actress for The Funeral Crashers next year. You should take your agent to a nice dinner tonight. He deserves it.
Posted by: Brad | July 25, 2005 at 09:01 AM
I'm guessing New Jersey. Am I right?
Posted by: Angie | July 25, 2005 at 09:10 AM
and happy birthday to you Jamie - i guess we're practically twins [except that i'm a geezer, and you probably arent]....
Posted by: queensbee | July 25, 2005 at 09:33 AM
Hello from Rochester, MN. We have an OK beach down here if you don't mind swimming next to a playground dedicated to the memories of all the children who drowned at that beach.
Posted by: notme | July 25, 2005 at 10:06 AM
...... trying to think of something else great about DUll-uth......................................................... If you are Hot up there (not in the Bikini girl sense) try Bridgeman's Ice Cream, one block from the Mall......mmmmmmmmmm....
THEN, get your Leinie's in Canal Park, but WATCH OUT FOR THE LOONIES!
Posted by: EB | July 25, 2005 at 10:53 AM
... and take the road to Gunflint Trail(north end of the Lake Superior Highway.... goes right up to the boundary waters.... you might even get a bear crossing the road, if yer lucky....
Posted by: EB | July 25, 2005 at 10:56 AM
Duluth, Duluth, Duluth is on fire.
We don't need no water let the MF burn.
Sorry.
Posted by: tyler | July 25, 2005 at 11:08 AM
Man, I was almost in Duluth.. but instead I ended up in Soo St, Michigan. I am still trying to figure out rather or not I got the short in of the stick on that deal... of course it might have just been two short sticks to begin with. Anyhow, I was almost in the town that Dave was! (Does that count for something?)
Posted by: MzVette | July 25, 2005 at 11:23 AM
Brad, Morty, Lab, et al. :
I almost feel bad about this (almost), but hey, Gretchen is an 18 year old blonde ex-softball player who's entering Hamline University in St. Paul soon. And apparently a log-roller as well. She's been doing her own laundry and grocery shopping since she was 13 and is apparently single.
Read: (Young, Single, Hot, Athletic, Intelligent, Self-Suficient, and a Logroller)
I am not as picky as you might think. *strains to suppress a chortle*
Posted by: Federal Duck | July 25, 2005 at 11:48 AM
"Log Roller" huh? If she is blind and owns a liquor store...I'M IN!!
Posted by: morty | July 25, 2005 at 11:58 AM
Hmmm...Gretchen is 18, and you, Mr. Fed Duck, are how old??? I hope you are not a cradle robber, sir.
*goes to living room to check on her daughters*
*lets the rottweiler guard dog in the house*
*searches for shotgun cleaning kit*
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 25, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Brad--
BTW I would be "Best Supporting ACTOR....and homophobe......"
Posted by: m | July 25, 2005 at 12:07 PM
Fed,
If you're looking for all of those things in one woman, whether or not this one even counts, I'm afriad you are picky.
As an aside, isn't 'log roller' an innuendo for 'innuendo'?
;-)
Posted by: M.C. | July 25, 2005 at 12:15 PM
MC - you've misunderstood. Fed is quite willing to accept one of each. Any blogettes who are (pick one or more) Young, Single, Hot, Athletic, Intelligent, Self-Suficient, and a Logroller can apply directly to Fed. He may also accept male bloggers but ask him yourselves.
Posted by: Somewhere North | July 25, 2005 at 12:27 PM
Fed also failed to mention the other advantage of this particular hot blonde... If he end up married to her, there will be no mother-in-law problems. Gawd... you guys are sick-oes!
Posted by: Brad | July 25, 2005 at 12:45 PM
Dearest Aunt Nancy,
I am geezering around at the ripe old age of 26. Granted, there's an 8 year gap, but she's quite mature for her age, and I'm a Dave Barry blogger, which makes me pretty immature by default. Also, she might appreciate a wizened world traveler who could offer her so much knowledge and experience. If, however, she appreciates knock-knock jokes and pizza, we'd be great together.
The court finds the defendant, Mr. Federal Duck, to be perfectly within his obligatory rights to ogle young women, and orders the immediate removal of the plaintif's Rottweiler from the defendant's bum.
Posted by: Federal Duck | July 25, 2005 at 12:48 PM
My dear Mr. Duck,
Well, OK. The dog has been confined to the kitchen. However, as the mother of two wonderfully adorable daughters, I reserve the right to keep my shotgun cleaned and polished.
And honestly, you sound alot older than 26. Take that as a compliment.
*goes to kitchen - yells at rottweiler*
Hey, you dumb mutt! Get out of the doughnuts!
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 25, 2005 at 01:15 PM
Dearest Aunt Nancy,
Thank you! I take that as a great compliment. I just graduated from college a few years ago (I was on the slacker-writer-journalist 5.5 year plan, where you change majors like you change socks). I'm still basically in college mode, with the ogling and whatnot, now I just have to wear a tie.
Posted by: Federal Duck | July 25, 2005 at 01:33 PM
Nothing funny has happened in Topeka for years?
What about Fred Phelps?
Posted by: MrDeath | July 26, 2005 at 08:49 AM
Fred Phelps is not funny - ha ha.
Fred Phelps is funny - strange.
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | July 26, 2005 at 09:30 AM
hello, spent most of the day out of town yesterday, but thank you all for the birthday wishes and thank you cyn for the lovely card.
and bo, i'm 20. but most of the time i'm about as mature as a 13-year-old, so close enough.
may the force be with you all too!
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | July 26, 2005 at 11:00 AM
Phelps is as funny as the Salem Witch Hunt. Oh, wait; they were stoned on mouldy rye, that's kinda funny. NOTHING funny about Phred and his Phamily O' Phreeks
Posted by: I hear Dread People | July 26, 2005 at 03:23 PM
It's none a good news to know that a beach is full of bacteria. Where are the coastguards? Please do something, we can not accept something like that. It's not a safe area to have a vacation.
Omar
Montana Drug Addiction
Posted by: gloorlando | August 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM