ADVICE TO THE SERIOUS SUITOR

Throw in a lifetime supply of McDonald's and you just might have yourself a deal.

(Thanks to Reddsuss)

Comments

[AllieKat]

Goodman Kleptomaniac Cowburger- a good, Christian name.

[gfunksizzle]

I would love to see what 40 goats would do to the Bill Clinton Presidential Library.

[AllieKat]

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor

*snork*

[Chianca At Large]

For a case of Jack Daniels he could probably get the Bush twins too.

[Dave R]

I was in an online course on Intercultural Communications when a fellow student -- A Japanese national working for a Korean agency with an American boss in Uganda -- received a similar offer.

The classmates were wondering what the local exchange rate was for goats to cows to see if our fellow student was getting the best deal.

Admittedly, the exchange rate could vary from country to country and there may have been some inflation to factor in, but I'd say he's about four or five cows too high on his offer. I mean, Chelsea is probably _worth_ the twenty cows. He probably shouldn't start with that high of an offer since an appropriate counter-offer is usually 10-20% higher.

[Melody]

If you think of each cow and goat being worth $500 American money, that's about $30,000 he's willing to pay for Miss Clinton.

Maybe this guy should go after a Fear Factor contestant instead. If they're willing to eat beetles for 50,000, maybe they'd get married for 30,000 dollars worth of cows. I'm sure the cows taste better.

[Brad]

Remember the old joke where President Clinton gets off Marine One with a pig under each arm? The Marine at the steps asks him about the pigs. President Clinton replies that he got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. The Marine tells him that he made a great trade.

Turns out that globalization has made Chelsea alone worth 40 goats and 20 cows!

[Christobol]

What stopped this deal?

After all, Bill almost gave up his presidency for just one cow.

[VictoriaE77]

Brad ~ Isn't inflation awful?

[go_fish]

Cbol,
But cows have depreciated since then, due to cows being mass-manufactured in China.

[Fast Eddie]

"Chepkurgor vowed to remain single until he gets an answer to his proposal to marry Chelsea, 25"

Well, that's one guy who's off the market....for a LONG time.

[Tamara]

Naughty Cbol!

But I digress.

Hey, *I* am single. And my parents will accept tacos.

[M.C.]

So if Bill did accept, and the exchange took place on American soil, would he then be a bonafide pimp?

[gfunksizzle]

Christobol-

HA!

That is all.

-gfunk

[shortty]

If these cows have the mad disease, this could be another of those terrorist plots.

[Kilmeny]

He should be dealing with Hillary. She IS the expert in cattle trading, after all.

[Aunt Nancy]

C'bol - were you watching Leno last night, too?

[judi]

i'd be more than a little concerned about why this guy was so interested in hillary "standing by her man" when bill was unfaithful...

[Christobol]

Aunt Nancy - I'd like to have, but I don't have TV. Did Leno steal my joke before I got to use it?

I'll kick his big jawed ass for him.

[Dave R]

I think the valuation isn't strictly a dollar for dollar thing. We're probably talking about 5 or 6 years of earnings to accumulate that much wealth.

For the classmate, we came up with a ballpark figure of the offer being worth the equivalent of $300,000 in the US and about $600,000 in Japan (average wages and costs being about double between the two countries at the time) with a modifier based on urban or rural life.

My neice was a nanny for a couple in language training in Africa. The offer she received and passed along to her Dad via e-mail was substantially lower than the Chelsea figure.

The neice now has a suitor -- stateside -- who shares her love of horses. Should she and her suitor decide to marry, the family will probably pitch in and purchase some livestock for the couple to start their lives together in smelly matrimony.

I think The Bill would still have some serious problems with the goats at Customs whether he still rates the VIP line or not.

[Aunt Nancy]

C'bol - sort of. What Leno said was (I'm paraphrasing here):

Some tribal chief offered twenty cows for Chelsea. Twenty cows. How do you think that made Hillary feel? He almost gave her up for one cow.

[Somewhere North]

I don't know if I'd 'stand by my man like an African woman' if hubby cheated on me. Maybe stand over his writhing, pain racked body, but probably not beside. Much easier to strike downward than sideways.

[crossgirl]

i knew i should have had daughters.

[Christobol]

Uh, Dave R?

Unless I can go over there and trade 40 goats and 20 cows for a Ferarri, your valuation is off, no matter how long it takes the guy to accumulate them.

But I know what you're getting at.

[Christobol]

Wow, that's pretty much the same joke, Aunt Nancy.

I guess Leno is pretty damned funny after all.

[Aunt Nancy]

C'bol - he must be, if he's working on the same wavelength as you are! ;)

[tammy wynette]

(read with southern accent)

I always Stand By My Man, with a shotgun!

[Jay Leno]

C'bol, I forgot to thank you for the Clinton cow joke I used last night. Now that Carson is dead and not helping out flakey Dave anymore, the advantages of your longtime assistance to me will become clear. I love you man!

Jay Leno

P.S. Brad, you're joke was really damned funny. If you're ever in SoCal, I'll let you polish my motorcycles.

[Somewhere North]

Tammy, stand behind him with a shotgun, over him with a spade and as far away as possible if he has a mullet.

[slowlayne]

A fine Kenyan chap named Chepkurgor
Was smitten by Bill Clinton’s daughter
Trading some cows
For nuptuial vows
But who’s leading whom to the slaughter?

[Aunt Nancy]

slowlayne - ROTFL!!!

[go_fish]

How exactly does one wire goats and cows to the US? I don't think Western Union does that sort of thing.

[Funny Name]

A guy offered 2000 camels for me in Morocco two years ago. Really. I was simultaneously flattered, disgusted, and amazed. The thought cheers me up on dateless Saturdays.

[english teacher]

slowlayne - LOL, and I especially loved the whom!

Excellent.

[kathy]

can you imagine if she really did marry the guy! wow! :)

[Aunt Nancy]

If she did really marry the guy, she'd have to moooooove to Africa.

[docx]

Should have offered 20 cigars...

[Paul]

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[js]

Dang it, Aunt Nancy. ya beat me to the oooonly thing i could think of! :p

[monica]

20 ciga...*slaps forehead*
they are just always gonna keep `em coming.

[kibby F5�]

Now, if he'd added a few sheep it would probably seal the deal! How could he resist goats, cows AND sheep!?

[Aunt Nancy]

kibby - I put your question to my husband (the engineer) who said: "Of course he can resist sheep. He's a lawyer, not an engineer! He guy should have offered Clinton snakes or gators or skunks or something else he can relate to."

Please address all thrown objects to my husband. I'm just the messenger here.

BTW - docx - he loved your suggestion!

[kathy]

Aunt Nancy
hey! Africa is really beautiful i hear. :)

[Aunt Nancy]

kathy - to quote Groucho Marx (from the movie Animal Crackers:

"Africa is God's country. And He can have it!"

Hurray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer...