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July 29, 2005


Trouser Tyranny.

Also The Hunting Sporrans.


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No Comment!

Really, the question should be why should any good looking man wear pants? Or shirts for that matter...

The Scots (of which heritage I am very proud) had the right idea.

I suggest just going with the sporran. Forget the kilt.


Just think gals, this movement will save money and closet space. Our signifcant others can now wear our skirts!

[hhmmm, I said "movement" and "skirts" in the same sentence]

I heart a man in a dress.

I dunno, Brainy, scrolling down, I found a few men that I do not even want to imagine in only sporrans.

I've always been a fan of the kilt-is-a-joke-that-the-Scots-never-got theory. As with bagpipes.

I also first read 'Tyranny' above as 'Tranny'. Oops.

I wonder if tall, blonde Scandinavian god-like men look good in kilts...

*dials phone*

Um, honey? Can you come home early? The kids are at the neighbors, and I converted my old plaid skirt into a kilt just for you...

Uh, hello? Honey?

anybody get a good gander at that "full mask sporran"? WTFBBQ?! Looks like a furry uterus to me.

Desiring freedom,
I take off my pants, don a kilt-
A breeze 'round my privates.

Policeman: So, Ted Habte-Mullet, also known as Naked Zorro - what were you doing skinny dipping in China?

Ted: I suffer from a condition known as trouser tyranny which resulted from when I sat on a toilet seat and was burned by cleaning chemical residue and had to wear special underpants for many years.

Policeman: You're a hover peer?!!

Ted: NO! No! I pee into vases and routinely splash the seat just like any other male.

Policeman: How did things work out with that girl you met on the airplane?

Ted: How did you know about that?

Policeman: I googled you. I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you anyway. We have a standard haircut here in China and mullets don't count.


Policeman: And resisting arrest...

casey - went back and looked at the "full mask sporran", and I must disagree. I think it looks like something else, but in keeping with this blog's good taste (?) I won't go into detail.

Aunt Nancy: I don't get it.

This blog has good tatse?

Somewhere: Bravo!

the full mask sporran is far too lifelike and evil-looking to be placed in such a sensitive area, lest some "hunter" try to "kill" it.

*clears throat*

I sing unto thee my new ballad
Of a man and a point that's most valid:
For when he puts on his kilt
And he stands at a tilt
All that townsfolk can see his fruit salad!

for the Bravehearts:

My lassie who's truly adorin'
In the dark moved close to my sporran
When I asked how it felt
Being close to a pelt
She replied "It's not you I'm explorin'?

Does anyone else think that "bifurcated" sounds like an unpleasant gastrointestinal eruption?

Aunt Nancy: Perhaps you mean a merkin?

Here's another Fun Fact: That Full Mask Sporran is actually a FOX'S HEAD (for you non-foxhunting afficionados, a fox's face is referred to as a "mask") EWWWWWWW.....just what I need, a decapitated fox in front of my privates (if I were a man, which I'm not)

Um, three articles in a row featuring at least partially nude men. I am starting to wistfully recall the days when ramparts commonly roamed the blogscape.

Is that what Jimmy Hendrix was thinking of?

Woooo! Foxy Leddy da na na, da na na

forgive me, I'm utterly exhausted and not making much sense anymore. I'll stop now.

Has the sporran a purpose, like an ancient fannypack? Or is it just meant to add that certain je n'est ce quoi, in a dour, Celtic sort of way?

Or do Scotsmen just enjoy having something furry hanging from their waists, that they can fondle in idle moments?

Like M.C., I first read the link as 'Trouser Tranny.'

And the more I say it, the funnier it sounds.

Trouser Tranny, Trouser Tranny, Trouser Tranny...

I think perhaps I need a nap.

Sauntering ‘round without shame or guilt
A brawny great lad, with a rich Scottish lilt
But our poor Judi
Is sad and moody
For there really is nothing under that kilt

I have a great idea...the Trouser Tranny...for shifting "gears" when things get out of "hand" on a "date"....if that makes "sense".....of course, a Taser would work as well...gives new meaning to the words "grinding gears" (also a too-vivid mental picture)

Hmmm. Leather sporran. Full mask sporran. Horsehair sporran.

Is it just me, or do those Scots have a big S&M fetish? Could help explain their penchant for wearing skirts.

[Um, I mean, is it just me that gets this impression. Not, is it just me that has the big S&M fetish. NTTAWWT.]

KOW and casey - since you press the issue...

when I went back and looked at the "full mask sporran" I thought, "Good grief, that's what my dog's butt would look like in a thong!"

That is all.

I love men in skirts/kilts! Love love love love love. Not dresses, just sarongs and the like.

I was told that the purpose of the sporran is two-fold: first to protect the Important Parts during battle and second to draw fleas away from said Important Parts.

OMG, Aunt Nancy - since you mentioned having a Doberman in an earlier thread, I now have burned into my brain the image of a Dobie wearing a thong trotting proudly away from me...I'm pretty sure that image will always be with me.

So the next time I burst out laughing at a funeral, or similar inappropriate occasion, it will be All Your Fault.

FUNNY as usual all! My sis-in-law and I were JUST THIS DAY discussing the sitting on the fence "bifurcation" of one family member - who is always trying to keep wall sides of the family happy. Thinking that "bifurcation" has so many different ugly undertones !!!

The best band name is The Well Hungarians.

What? This was posted by Judi? What a shock!


Dear Sir/Madam,

We have obtained your contact details via a trade directory and we would like to welcome your requirement / order inquiry to enable us, to be a reliable supplier for you. Here is our company profile for your kind consideration.


Green Oceans Associates (Exporters Of Musical Instruments And leather Products ) is an independent entity formed in year 2005 for the sole purpose of tapping the growing markets in the Music and Leather Fields.

While the name itself is relatively new in the industry, Green Oceans Associates is putting primary emphasis on its Human Resources. It is the company’s belief that success in any line of business lies in the efficiency of the management & staff. Today, what maintains the fruitful and loyal relationship with buyers is the dedication of our people to our motto,


We have now decided to manufacture our selected products,with our enhanced manufacturing unit and skillful workers which are basically Leather bags, Belts ,Sporrans,Kilts, Kilt belts,Badges as per customer requirements and Musical Instruments. Detailed information are given below:

It is with this view that Green Oceans Associates strives to excel in its endeavors and serve its current and future customers with satisfaction. It aims to go forward and be one of the best in the Leather and Musical Companies.our mission and commitment is to be recognized as the most reliable Musical And Leather Industry under Brand name (“GoA”)
As the new century has come, while the company is striving for development and growth, the company also lays great emphasis upon the brand construction of the company to set up an excellent brand image for company and products.Green Oceans Associates (“GoA”) would like to create a beautiful future together with you with its best employees, qualified products and sincere service!

Our Product Line up

# Leather Bags: - Ladies Bags, Tool Bags, Saddle Bags,Wallets

# Belts: - Weightlifting Belts,Dress Belts,Kilt Belts,Cross Belts, Piper Belts and all kinds of Leather belts including musical intrumental and Army belts .Gun Belts ,Army Belts ,Industrial Belts, Police Belts, Security Belts, Instruments Holder belts, Tools Holder Belts ,Wepon Holder Belts .

# Sporrans: -More Than 100 designs of sporrans are available in both split and real leather along with Fur Sporrans

#Kilts:- All Kinds Of Kilts are available in best quality Tartan and can be manufactured as per customer demand and Sample.

#Embroidery Badges:-A wide variety of Badges is available according to the needs of different countries and customer requirements.
All kinds of Hand Embroidered Badges, Flags,Banners, Insignia,Braids, Metal Badges & Buttons, Aiguilletes, Epaulets, Pipe Cords, Peaks Cap, Leather belts, musical band & Military uniform accessories etc.

# Musical Instruments:- All Kinds of Musical instruments Are available.

# Embroidered and Screen Printed Shirts
#Saddlery:- Bridals ,Chaps ,Seats/Jeans ,Hunters ,Mussels ,Saddle ,horse clothings ,Other ridding equipments.
#Leather Pets (Cats/Dogs) Products:- Leash ,Leads, Collar ,Chest Belts ,Mussels.
#Leather Gloves:- Ladies, mens & childrens fancy gloves ,Ladies, mens & childrens normal gloves ,Industrial gloves ,Golf gloves, Sports gloves ,Canadian gloves ,Lots of other gloves ,
Accessories:- Fancy bags ,Laptop bags ,Ladies & Mens Handbags/Wallets ,Small Leather goods Belts

For Further Assistance Please Mail Us on the Following Address

[email protected]
Green Oceans Associates
Hakim Khadim Ali Road,Muhalla Noor Pura Sialkot-PAKISTAN

I dunno. Is it?

OK, that is one serious piece a spam up there

Count me in as a "yes"!

Yay! for being first on a new kilt.

It's been a few weeks

I need to shower. Toby, what did you do with my robe?

Also, first to simul on the new kilt. Now that it's all smutty, we should feel right at home.

Oh wait. No I wasn't. TCK and KDF have that honor.

bumble - it's in my secret closet, along with all the other....

um, never mind

Clean kilt, smells fresh!

So, just heinzing here and seeing that sex is a waste of time?


*bites tongue, really hard*

*walks to the bathroom naked just to taunt TCK 'cause he can't see*

*hears screams from neighbor's house*

*pulls curtains*

*snork* @ ASK & neo


Don't do that again!

I'm sorry, but I can't hold back any longer.

So, ASK, wanna waste some time?


Hmm, and my parents told me my whole life has been wasted. I never knew how good I had it!


So who wants to go get "wasted"?

(And for what's worth, I don't bite.)

Come to think of it, this puts pantywaists in a whole new light.

*snork* @ neo again

Sorry, took me a minute to find this one.

Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937)

Oh, you should try it. It's kinda fun.

*wicked grin*


I like the quote, but I think most guys are probably only just thinking about wasting time.

Hey Sly!

Is the St.Louis strumpeting tomorrow? Been out of, er, well, touch. Just hanging out, wasting time, ya know? Anyway, are you going?

And just re-reading here neo - but your first line in the last post usually comes last, doesn't it?

Sure am, ASK. Sharon is going to be there and a couple of bloglits/blurkers from the MB. One of them works at the same firm where i used to work, but I didn't know that until she posted on my blog a couple of months ago.

Sorry - post before last, I always get carried away with these things

Cool - wish I could make it, but Dave would probably cancel the rest of the tour if I showed up again.

Ahem, and whew! This new Kilt's kinda hot already!!

*fans self*

ASK, show up, but flatten yourself and attach your head to a stick and he'll be fine with it.

I think there might be others around who wouldn't mind the idea of my head on a stick.

*wanders in to say goodnight*

*too many pervie comments appear spontaneously in brain*

*brain crashes*

*must reboot*


*carries ASK away*

*doesn't care what comes FIRST or LAST*

haven't read so many posts with LAST in them in months.

hmm, seems I couldn't carry ASK away after all.

I'm obviously out of practice.

*zips in*

Hooray, I found y'all!

*zips out*

*judges possible comments*

I have put on some weight.

We had 7 minutes - how much time did you want to waste?

You mean I can't bring my laptop?

Wait! Wait!

Seven minutes? That's how long it took to post on the last thread!

And, sure, ASK, your laptop can come, too.

*grins, winks, and heads for bed*

Good night!

*resumes duties, wearing a new hat from vacation*

*tucks in neo, and her mumbledybop*

Goodnight! I'm gonna go and get me one of them brain reboots, too.



*performs a thorough system analysis, reconfigures hard drive, reboots, and tucks in Kay*

*wonders if it is time to start smoking*

*lifts head off pillow, opens one eye*

Um, if ya do, gimme a drag, wouldja?

Not that I smoke.

*resumes sleepage, enjoys reconfiguration*


Goodnight KDF!

goodnight kilties!!!
*turns off light while tiptoeing out and closing the door*

Hovers in air.

Here is a conversation starter.

A friend of mine has some talents. He can Sing, he can act. My talents are in acting as well. But hs face gives off a kind look. I look evil. And the thing is, I have the talents to back it up. He can show off his kindly slacking pretty easily and not get arrested or chased down by the police for his latest nefarious scheme. Learning how to make your hands act like dinosarus in a believable manner will not get interpol checking you out.
I go to the airport to pick up a friend,
"I'm sorry sir, where doing a random check."

This was the conversation with my friends today. It was the one that stuck in my mind anyway. People in Yakima tend to have 13 subjects in a conversation at once. Anyway, we discussed that I was not pulling out my evil talents enough. they complained that I am unable to truly be the villain with the island in the form of my head, because I fear the cops.

So I guess my question is, What would Zombie Nixon do?

dang. the lights are off.

ooo, *pings Alfred with rubberband*

*leaves hugs smooches for all the Kilties*

Launches Nuklear Rubber band toward Cyn.

Happy Birthday, Slyeyes!

Have fun with Dave & the gang tonight. And don't blow any fuses!

Aw, Jeff...you never let us have any fun. I kinda LIKE blowing fuses, IYCMD.

*heads towards coffee pot*

*slips on hugs and smooches left on the floor*

*trips on rubber bands*


*loses boots, which go flying in opposite directions*

I knew I shouldn'ta put my boots on first. Now I need to reboot again.

*rolls in breakfast cart piled high with cappucino, iced mocha, black coffee, tea, juice, Danish Princess Leia buns, donuts, toast and assorted marmalades*

*does his best impersonation of a fuse*

guess i dont need to ask someone to leave breadcrumbs if we move while i'm gone now.

*bookmarks new Kilt*

*digs out penny from change cup and goes off to fix the fuse*
(please send me a monthly pass for the geezer bus)
*wonders how many people understand the penny reference*

Catch yall inna few. Remember to enjoy yourselves. And if you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy someone else :-)

Wolfie...uh, that penny probably isn't a real good idea..Wolfie??? HelLO? Wolfie???

*Can't see Wolfie anywhere in the dark. Decides to wait for another flash of lightning, like that last one*

Enjoy the time with Susan, Wolfie. I'm sure your fur will grow back very quickly.

*zips in*

Good morning, everyone, she said in a perky voice!

Sharon, that was a long way to go for a punchline! *snork*
(but still funny)

A belated good morning to everyone! Wolfie, have a great time with Susan.

Happy Birthday Sly!

Sharon and Sly, I can't wait to hear about your Dave/Rid adventure, and wish that I could be there with you. Hope you can find a rubber-banded mojito apres strumpet. They're really very good.

Have a great Birthday, Sly!

That wish is redundant, as you are spending part of your birthday with Dave, Ridley and Sharon, but it still had to be said.

Don't forget you-know-who.


OOooo, look! A fuse!!


*smooches El* Thanks, sweetie. It was early, and I was stretching.



I'll be thinking of you all tonight at the Dave-meet. Can't wait to meet sly and any others who will be there, and wish I could see you ALL.

They were probably sniffing the 2003, which was a really poor year. I find the 2005 to be far superior.

I saw (and copied!) that before you censored it, Sharon.



*glances at Coast*


SOOOO...how 'bout that weather, eh??

Well, sorry to be depressing, but it's killed 81 people in CA

Yes. The weather is really starting to have serious consequences here in CA. There have been deaths here in San Diego as well.

Lots of very old people live alone in small houses in areas that usually don't need a/c, so they're unprepared.

TOO pervie? well... yeah I guess so.

Weather is fine in this windowless cubicle h&ll that I call the office.


Never thought I'd be "too pervie" for Coast!

*pats self on back*

I consider it quite an accomplishment!

Yeah, the heat wave had caused many deaths in London also, while I was in England. Keep cool, El!

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