A BAD CASE OF TOURIST BRAIN-SHRINKAGE DISEASE

We are now in our second week of walking around in countries where people drive on the left, so you'd think that by now we'd know how to cross a street. But you would be wrong. At every intersection, it's the same thing: We look nervously in every possible direction for several minutes, and still we're not 100 percent sure which cars we need to be worried about. The locals handle it effortlessly, walking past us and setting off across the street with barely a glance, but we stand rooted to the sidewalk like unusually stupid trees. When we finally decide it's safe, we take a hesitant step forward and YIKES HERE COMES A CAR and we have to scurry back to the sidewalk. At one point we were directly across the street from our hotel -- it was right there, beckoning to us -- and we thought we'd never reach it. We considered looking for a hotel located on our side of the street and checking in there.

Comments

[meggienick]

It's not you. The cars are all involved in a conspiracy to off innocent tourists.

Unless you're not so innocent.

[Giddy]

I always wanted to see England (like a hiking tour). Thanks for the witty insights on foot travel.

[meggienick]

When I was there in highschool a girl in our group was hit by a car and broke her leg, while looking the wrong way.

Then again, she wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

[Lou Bricant]

The the real-life version of Frogger. Although, they call it Toadie over there.

[Punkin Poo]

Dear Dave - Why are you walking like a common tourist? (And please, for God's sake, tell me no one in your party is wearing a fanny pack) Aren't you rich and famous enough to have a limo filled with cool, refreshing beverages, driven by someone named "Paddy" or "Liam"?

[Aunt Nancy]

Don't be so hard on yourself, Dave. My grandmother told me its wiser to err on the side of caution. Especially in a country where the next bus you get on could go BOOM, courtesy of the teenager you sat beside.

Seriously, I'm praying for the safe return of your group.

Sorry this wasn't funny.

[insomniac]

I've heard Winston Churchill was hit by a car in NYC for the same reason!

MASH dialog:

Hot Lips (talking about Churchill): His mother was American, you know.

Frank: So is mine!

[rufus]

I have this mental image of sand pipers at the beach running out and back with the waves. Except they all have Dave heads.

[Punkin Poo]

Rufus - Good one!

[EB]

Maybe the Quail, walking in front of our car across I-94 in Teddy Roosevelt Park ,were ENGLISH

There were lots of feathers, and tears from the driver...

[Higgy]

Dave - find the zebra crossings (black and white stripes going across the road, usually with a yellow lightpole on both sides) - there you can cross with impunity!

[RoliPoli]

You're mostly in danger of becoming disabled by "miscreant motorphobia," the manic fear of malicious motorcars. :->

Marchons!

[RoliPoli]

You're mostly in danger of becoming disabled by "miscreant motorphobia," the manic fear of malicious motorcars. :->

Marchons!

[RoliPoli]

You're mostly in danger of becoming disabled by "miscreant motorphobia," the manic fear of malicious motorcars. :->

Marchons!

[Falconer]

Rolipoli - what is the name for "The Fear of Multiple Posting"?

[ceeg22]

Higgy, that only works if he doesn't look or act like a tourist.

[West Side]

I'm with Punking Poo on this one Dave...

Please tell me no one is wearing a fanny pack.

[silver]

I always imploy my fool-proof* system: Cross only when the natives cross.

*Only works if no fools are present. If you are a fool, don't use this system, because you will mess it up.

[queensbee]

and the people of britain and ireland are very happy that you're walking and not driving.

[Aaargh]

Just wait. I lived in London 8 months several years ago, and I still look the wrong way here in America. I've just given up on ever getting it right (not left), and always look both ways about three hundred times before I cross anything, even a bike path.

[Christobol]

What, no crapcam photo?

I'm guessing it's like this.

[Shortty]

C-bol: I am waiting for the sand pipers with little Dave heads...

[ncc1701]

I had a friend who spent some time in Honduras and he was told there were only two rules of the road there...never yield and no more then 12 people allowed in the flatbed of your pickup truck.

[ceeg22]

the downtown area where I work, you need to look both ways before crossing a one-way street!

[neatfreak]

Whilst in London, I learned to say things like "whilst" and that the number one cause of injury to foreign visitors is being struck by cars when trying to cross the street.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Higgy: who's Impunity?

Dave, here's a hint: look down. Most streets in central London, at least, will have "Look Right" signs on the pavement for the hint of the non natives.

Or is it "Look Left"?

[Guin]

I spent six weeks bicycling in Ireland. It took me three weeks before I mustered the courage to ride my bike through a roundabout, instead of walking like a small child with training wheels.

[gotlucky]

Dave, you remind me of when I first visited California after living in Florida lo these many years. People in California are actually required by law to stop and let anyone anywhere near an intersection cross the street. At first I couldn't grasp this concept, since that's not at all how we do it here, and I just stood there blinking in disbelief as people motioned from their cars for me to please, please dammit, cross the frickin' road already. Of course, by the end I had gotten so spoiled by repeatedly success that I started faking them out. I'd get near an intersection and start to cross, then slap my forehead and turn back where I came from. It was cool.

[judi]

don't try that in florida.

[Jacki]

Thanks for the Florida post. I have been trying to convince people here in KY that in Florida we do not stop for pedestrians, even when our light is red, yet no one believes me.

One thing they do here (that's actually legal) is instead of having turn lanes, or so-called suicide lanes, they have raised medians that you are, in fact, expected to drive over to make left turns.

Spend a few months, then go home to Florida, and wonder when the medians got so darn high!

[Jeff Meyerson]

KJP: excellent point. Roundabouts are the single hardest thing about driving in Britain, much tougher than the whole wrong-side-of-the-road thing. The scene of Chevy Chase attempting one in European Vacation was surprisingly accurate.

[Maud]

Don't they have Boy-Scout-equivalents over there? Just decide which of your party most resembles an old lady. (Marital hint: the guys should insist it's one of them.)

Amy - I'm from Pennsylvania, where the deer don't fare much better than tourists. But maybe some of them *are* tourists - wander down from the Adirondacks, indulge in a few too many fermented berries because, "I'm on vacation, dammit," and - Wham!

[Balanchine]

He spelled unusually wrong. Must've been the fear. However quite amusing.

[just sayin']

DaBlade...that is just so Wrong ;D

[alanboss]

I would still rather cross on foot in either of the two mentioned countries than in Russia, where they drive on the right (and correct) side of the road, but they don't slow down for nuthin'!

[Ya Well No Fine]

You'all should read the book "Flattened Fauna: A Field Guide to Common Animals of Roads, Streets, and Highways"...a great guide to crossing without looking!... There may we all go....

[Leslie]

Ah, yes, I had a few close encounters while crossing streets in the UK. I had to walk, I didn't dare drive.

I wear my fanny pack in front...

[artchick]

And if you do wear one, don't call it a fanny pack! Bum bag is the preferred term. "Fanny" in England refers to a part of the anatomy that Dave doesn't have( although he may share one with his wife occassionally).

[sct72]

The squirrels must have gotten to you!

runs partly across the street
Oh crap! I can't do this!
runs back

Unusually Stupid Trees!