WHY DOES THIS ITEM MAKE US THINK OF TOM CRUISE?

Clarification: I'm not saying that I can explain why it does. I'm just saying that it does.

Comments

[dougdoots]

uhhhhhh....

It just flippin' does!

Gosh!

(actually, I don't get the tom Cruise reference (?)

[M.C.]

Actually, cows have feelings, hold grudges and apparently live more complex lives than we know, so I'm not sure...

[dougdoots]

Maybe because om has done the research....

[igloo]

"Sa Kaew,"
Geshundeit!

[Brad]

Doug,

The Tom Cruise reference is that the bull proposed to the cow on the top of the Eiffel Tower just after midnight and announced it in a press conference the next day. If you were thinking it was because they were short, you were mistaken.

[Chianca At Large]

I blame activist judges.

[Kilmeny]

".. all the usual wedding pomp"
Does this mean they do this often? Are there rules of etiquette involved in marrying livestock? And what is pomp anyway?

[LadyBug]

I'm guessing the...umm...bride will wear some of that fancy-schmancy cow lingerie on their wedding night.

[Tom Cruises publicist]

I quit.

[DM]

That honeymoon is going be awkward. I don't think you can take off a cow bra without thumbs. Not that I've tried...

[igloo]

POMP, from the famous song...

Who put the pomp
In the pomp bah pomp bah pomp
Who put the bull
In the bulla bulla ding dong...

[KOW]

I don't get the TC reference. Was the bull jumping up and down on the couch in excitement at any time during the (surely) whirlwind courtship?

And LOL@LadyBug. God that paints such a picture. I'm now even less likely to work for the rest of the day.

[igloo]

Tom Cruise anagrams to...
MR SO CUTIE!

[Renee]

I heard that they will paint vermillion on their foreheads and a newlywed frog couple from India will stand in as "Best Amphibian" and "Amphibiette of Honor"...

[M.C.]

Tom Cruise also =

Crime to us
Suit Comer
I So Rectum
Scrotum (i.e.)
Omit Cures (or Moist Cure)
Tie or scum?
Scour time

Or a potential alter-ego:

Tim Course

Who knew?

[LadyBug]

Tom Cruise also anagrams to Scout Mire.

I have no idea what that means, or the significance thereof; I just didn't wanna miss the anagram boat.

[dougdoots]

Scat,
Don't forget to also thank Paula Abdul!

[Sean]

The thought of the two of them cowtowing at the alter is udderly moo-ving ..I bet the media is going to milk this ..

[M.C.]

(In parentheses, yes.)

;-)

[queensbee]

pomp might be really good with onion dip.

[Sean]

Also: Mote Urics ..

[Renee]

My favorite anagram of all:

Pompous nut-job cult whore

(I may have added a consonant or two...)

[Eleanor]

*zips in in a huff!

Sheesh! Just when I begin to learn how to write limericks, everyone switches to anagrams - hmmph!

[M.C.]

El-

You can still put your thoughts down in song
But you know that it won't be too long
Before switching our style
To haikus for a while,
And then back, for there's no right or wrong

[snif]

The difference is nobody will care if the cattle get divorced, whereas after Katie gets thoroughly brainwashed with Scientology and then dumped by Tom Cruise, we will all dance with glee glowing with "I told you so" satisfaction.

As for my haiku on the subject:

Katie, blind with love,
young and impressionable...
there's still time to run

[LadyBug]

Didn't realize
We're switching to haikus now
No more anagrams?

[Eleanor]

Thank you, M.C.
I feel better now - and if I didn't have to leave for the dentist - UGH! - I'd try to come up with a catchy tune!

[LadyBug]

Cows on honeymoon
Fancy-schmancy lingerie
Crumpled on the hay

[elle]

Dave-

Let me guess:

1) It's an arranged marriage.

2) The collective IQ is about equal.

3) There's a whole lot of bullsh*t involved.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Why, Dave? I'd have thought that was obvious:

diminutive breeding stock

Although judging by his success with his first two wives "breeding" seems to be another thing Tom is less than competent at, along with medical diagnosis.

Do I win?

[insomniac]

overheard at the wedding:

"She's such a cow."

"Look at him, he's hung like a diminutive bull."

"Have you read Dianetics by L.Ron Hubbard?"

[mudstuffin]

I would have thought the parallels were obvious:
they both (Tom Cruise and small cows) emit their own weight in methane every day.

BTW: "Tom Cruise and small cows" anagrams to "a swell communist dorcas"

[Christobol]

Dave,

I don't know.

However, it was pointed out to me recently that Tom Cruise's upper teeth are misaligned by an entire tooth, so that one of his front teeth is aligned directly under his nose.

I scientifically verified this by looking at the cover of my Reader'd Digest.

[Cheesewiz]

Just don't mention diminutive bovive attention deficit disorder or Tom will crash the wedding and bark how no one but him has read the medical research and how there is no such thing as chemical imbalances in cows and how animal psychiatry is a psuedo science.

How can one person be both clueless AND humorless.

God Save the Cows.

[tyler]

Scientology Commits Ruse.
Logic Sent to Tom Cruise.

Trust me, its an anagram, only dorks will check it.

[tyler]

"You know...technically speaking that's not an anagra..."
*slap*
"Ow! Oh that hurts, with the stinging and the humiliation..Oi glaven.."

[Tamara]

"...with the stinging and the humiliation..Oi glaven.."

ROFLMAO, Tyler!!

[opiesgirl]

To everyone: ROTFL

[Kid Charlemagne]

Who's Tom Cruise?

[Nicole]

Who's Tom Cruise = heroic smut sow

[Jessica R.]

Although judging by his success with his first two wives "breeding" seems to be another thing Tom is less than competent at, along with medical diagnosis.

His wives so far have refused to become pregnant, carry, a child, and give birth without drugs, IMHO!

[Jessica R.]

sorry...got a bit comma happy.