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June 17, 2005


Turner "Snake Man" Roberts of Nuclear Plant Road loses a pet.


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First Frist Fist Friday!

First first second!

Hmm, what did I do before the daveblog? / I don't know / post my article! / hey, look, a mullet! / etc.

Whey couldn't they think of this "freezing evidence" business in time to create Jackosicles!

Why couldn't they think of this "freezing evidence" business in time to create Jackosicles!

Make that

Why couldn't they think of this "freezing evidence" business in time to create Jackosicles!

Sorry, it's typo Friday hereabouts.

I often find that people with last names for a first names (aka: two last names) are even shiftier than people who have first names for last names (aka: two first names). Personal observation, anyway. Plus, generalizing, even when you're very wrong, is fun to do.

Frankly, I think this is extremely unfair to Snake-Man and cobra. After all, "authorities discovered the rear-fanged water cobra in a cage in his home" the key being the cobra was REAR-FANGED. Dagnabbit, snakes don't have eyes in their rear, how are they gonna see where to bite? The danger of being bitten by this snake is next to nothing. Poor little snake-cicle.

"The snake was not native to this country..." So will this be the trend in dealing with illegal aliens? Mexicles?

It's also important to note that the guy who confiscated the snake is named "Johnny Johnson" (at least, in the article; the photo caption has a different last name).
What kind of a slow police day must you be having when you decide to respond to a "tip" about a rear-fanged snake kept by an assaultive former drug dealer on Nuclear Plant Road? And who calls about things like that?

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who noticed that this very long article basically repeated the same information over and over?

How many different ways can you say that the snake was frozen, that there is no antivenin for it because it's not considered dangerous, and you won't have a reaction to it unless you're allergic to the venom?

Nuclear Plant Road in Limestone County. Sounds like God's country to me. I think I'll build a vaction home there.

at the police station...

Sergeant: Patrolman, look in the freezer for those Eskimo pies, I'm hungry.

Patrolman opens door to freezer, rummages around..

Patrolman: Great yodeling hamsters! Something bit me!

Sergeant: Oh, he ain't poisonous, keep looking.

Patrolman: Here they are. I'm hungry too, we don't need all that cheerleader pizza for evidence, do we?

Sergeant: Nah, knock yourself out.

Patrolman: Holy mulleted Muppets, this tastes like s***!!

Sergeant: No, it's DiGiorno.


Snakes got butts?

hahahahahahaha...all of you! *snuffle...heeee*

SWNorth...can i borrow your hammer a minute?

(they got snakes...inside the house...on purpose)

*wonders how According to Sheriff's Department records, Roberts has been arrested in the past for drug trafficking and assault. has any association with the rest of the article*

Rear fanged? I don't even want to think about it.
And not an elapid???

Great snakes, what's happening to our country?

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