THE BLOG DOES NOT ENDORSE COMMERCIAL PRODUCTS

So, as much as we'd like to, we are not blogging these.

(Thanks to Tabitha Sanborn)

Comments

[a. nony mouse]

If you need one of these to tell you you're an asshole....you're an asshole.

[Brainy Jello]

I should order several dozen. For others, that is.

[bilge]

my blank space entries (DC Metro area driving version):

-Being a carpool lane cheater
-driving in lanes designated for use during rush hour during non-rush hours
-cutting into onramp merge area to get ahead in traffic
-using separated exit lane as personal bypass in heavy traffic
-cutting in front of vehilce at last second without signaling then slamming on brakes

[Lou Bricant]

This is the Dick Cheney line of cards from Hallmark.

[neatfreak]

I have actually resorted to making my own (business) cards for the inconsiderate parker. But I also make one to give to retail employees who go out of their way to give me good service. I use 5 parking cards for every "good service" card. Hmmmm.

[M.C.]

My main problem with these cards is that I could go broke joyfully handing them out on a moment-to-moment basis. It's too easy in the city to perceive your own general annoyance as being everyone else's fault.

Also, people are stupid.

[qetzal]

Can we get some that say:

"Congratulations!"

[open to inside]

"You have a mullet!"

[Brainy Jello]

More potential entries:
- hogging the fast lane
- smoking near babies or children
- Noisy muffler/stereo/engine

[bilge]

OOO! One more that really gets me mad!

my blank space entries (DC Metro area driving version) cont:

-driving in the HOV lanes alone IN YOUR SUV!

[long tall texan]

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS SERIOUS, UNFUNNY INFORMATION

to some, this card would be taken as a compliment.

[Aunt Nancy]

Now for some rural/small town blank space entries:

-shooting off illegal fireworks, especially after my kids' bedtime (personal fireworks are illegal in Iowa at all times)
-causing grass fires by burning garbage on a windy day
-not using your turn signal
-passing a tractor in an uphill no-passing zone
-not yielding half of the right-of-way on a gravel road, thus forcing the oncoming driver into the ditch
-complaining about the smell coming from some farmer's stockyard when his family's been there for 100 years, and you just moved out there from the city last year. Of course there are cows and pigs in the country, and their manure stinks! Sheesh!

*I will now get down from my soapbox*

[Jeff Meyerson]

cutting into onramp merge area to get ahead in traffic

Bilge, I REALY hate that. The most offense one to do it was an Access-a-Ride handicap van!

Judi, wasn't this blogged a couple of years ago? In any case I'm glad to see it again, as I'm going to bookmark it for sure.

qetzal: did you by any chance see Rescue Me last night? Denis Leary tracks down his wife, who has taken the kids and disappeared after illegally selling their house.

It turns out she's living in Ohio with a guy in a mullet.

Leary: "I had that hairstyle in 1976."

[�LabSpecimen�]

What's that smell?

[Brad]

Too bad my dogs can't read. I'd check the "Waking me up early to go for a potty walk when you had a perfectly good opportunity to go yesterday afternoon." box.

[VictoriaE77]

More potential entries:
-Refusing to let people merge when the lane is ending.
-When traffic is stopped in two lanes, and the only open lane ends in 1/2 mile, speeding that 1/2 mile and then trying to bully your way in.
-Trying to pass people in the right lane. Everybody stayed in the left lane, because there were CARS in the right lane! (On the other hand, I get a strange feeling of satisfaction when these people get stuck in the right lane. Really makes me smile. I especially like when they started out ahead of you, and then end up behind you.)
-Coming to work sick and infecting everyone with your nasty cold.
-Bringing your kids to work and trying to hide them. Like no one notices.
-Walking into my office while I'm trying to comment on the blog.

I'm sure I've got more. I think this might be the longest thread ever when everyone gets done.

[Giddy]

Bilge,

We drive like that in the capitol of California as well. :-(

[Tamara]

Long Tall Texan, you didn't think Aunt Nancy's post was going to be funny?

Qetzal: *snork!*

[the Gypsy]

- Talking on a cell phone when you should be paying attention to the road so you don't cut somebody off because you almost missed your turn.

[the Gypsy]

- Talking on a cell phone when you should be paying attention to the road so you don't cut somebody off because you almost missed your turn.

[long tall grammar instructor]

tammy (I bet you hate it when people call you that),

"post" is singular.

"posts" would be used to indicate plurality.

no charge.

the first one is ALWAYS free.

[VictoriaE77]

-Slamming your breaks in the left lane, because your exit is coming up and you didn't merge over WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE.
-Commenting on other peoples food ('Ewwwww, how can you eat that?')
-Slamming on your breaks every time you see a cop. You're only going 3 miles over the speed limit, THEY DON'T CARE!
-Poeple not paying attention to the highway, because they're checking out the sides of the roads looking for 'trucker bombs' (I was guilty of this when the article first came out. Admit it. You guys were looking too.)

I seem to have an excessive amount of road rage. Perhaps I should work from home. It might be safer for everyone.

[Giddy]

My ex used to say he'd like either

a) a high beam he could point BACK at cars

or

b) an extra large, a la robotic, automatic middle finger to use while driving

PS: I'm guilty of merging at the last moment. Yeah, I'm an asshole :o)

[VictoriaE77]

Brainy ~ That is one of my favorite songs ever.

[Tamara]

LTT: You said "following". Thank you; that'll be a quarter.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Victoria: no more caffeine for you.

[VictoriaE77]

You're probably right, Jeff. But I just started a new pot, so as soon as that's gone, I'll stop.

Just looked over my posts. I'm not really that violent. I swear.

[John]

Another I've seen:

Passing on the right when the car you're passing is in the right lane.

[elle]

Bilge-

As a DC resident myself, I think they should make an entirely separate card saying:

"Congratulations, you're a DC cab driver. You are guilty of the following"

-Blocking sidewalks/intersections/entrances/arteries
-Making an entirely illegal turn and blocking traffic going in BOTH DIRECTIONS to pick up a fare
-Refusing to take me to Virginia/Maryland/any place that involves more than 10 minutes of travel
- Taking a "Short-cut" that takes you through 3 different fare zones just to up the price
-Talking loudly into the cellphone while driving
-Cursing at other drivers who are just trying to avoid your maniac driving
-Giving me a lecture on politics when I didn't bring it up
-"Getting lost" and trying to charge me for the extra milage
- slamming on the brakes
- Driving off when my blind friend and her guide dog try to get in your cab because you think she can't see you (Bystanders can- and you WILL get in trouble.)

(Note: I'm sure there are some very good cab drivers out there who follow the rules and drive safely. I've just never met any.)

[bilge]

re: Victoria - a little FYI:
I am attempting to become a cop, and according to my department, the rule is anything under 5-7 mph over the limit is left to officer disgression (i.e. - leave them alone). Anything above we are supposed to pull over.
And on that topic, last week they had all the news about police having the 5-10mph buffer and saying that speed causes x-number of deaths per year. Did anyone do research to see how many preventable deaths were caused by someone going 7 mph over the limit and no other factor?

Anyone want to give me one of those cards for my career choice?

[Brainy Jello]

bilge - no card for the career choice. It's a tough, largely thankless job, so thanks for being willing to do it.

[bilge]

elle:
-stopping without warning in the middle of the street during heavy traffic to look for fares (when none are signaling)

[VictoriaE77]

bilge ~ congrats on your new career. I usually go about 5 over the limit, and I've never been pulled over. The only accident I was ever in, I was stopped and someone ran into me.

I drove past a highway patrolman the other day. He was standing outside of his car, about two feet away from trafic, with a radar. He would just lift his hand and point at a car, and the car would pull over. I thought that was amazing. Or possibly stupid. I was very surprised he didn't get hit.

I wouldn't give you a card for your choice, but you may want to buy a bunch to give out while you're working. I'll bet you could get a bulk rate.

[DM]

I have a few to add:
*Drinking too much and getting sick at a party.
*Leaving your car parked at a gas pump while you buy a snack.
*Riding a bike in the traffic lane when there is a specific bike lane
*Leaving your turn signal on when you do not intend on turning (my biggest pet peeve)

[elle]

bilge-

Amen, brother :)

[Somewhere North]

Ooo... this is fun. A few more:

Coming into my office when I'm doing budget submission to tell me that the clocks in the lunchroom are 2 minutes fast and can I do anything about this.

Asking me to please use your "Dr" title when addressing you. (Well fine and I'm Mrs. Lastname to you!)

Telling me that the cleaner didn't dust your desk and asking if I can do it for you. (Sure, let me stop trying to run the department and come up with my J-Cloths!)

When somebody with a very thick accent gives me an unpronouncible name (like Habt-Gabr) and then says "can't you speak English?" when I ask him to repeat it.

I have a lot of work rage. Maybe I shouldn't work.

[Brainy Jello]

- motorcycles who drive on the dashed line between lanes in a traffic jam.

[qetzal]

Jeff -

Saw it; immediately thought of Ted & the blog. Although the guy on Rescue Me didn't seem to use near as much Jeri-Curl on his mullet as Ted does (or at least, did in college).

[Targetgirl]

Another addition:

Sitting right next to someone else when there's plenty of would-be buffer-space available in these situations:

-bus ride to/from work
-public bathroom stalls!!!
-movie theater

[VictoriaE77]

SN ~ My blood pressure jumped on your behalf when I read your post.

[judi]

excellent work, everyone. i'm really pissed off just reading this.

[DM]

Brainy- I would have said that if it wasnt for the fact that I've seen them hit cars. So I know that they learn their lesson. Which reminds me of a time that I saw a pack of bicyclists, that were trying to tail a car through a toll, get closelined by the arm as it lowered. They all stood up and dusted off their spandex suits and casually biked away.

[bilge]

Oo crumbs, DM! I almost snorted my drink out my nose.

[xmnr]

Here's a couple for tourist-infested cities, such as San Francisco and Washington:

1. Don't block the damn escalator to the subway. Especially when I'm on my way home from work.

2. If you have to stop and look at a map, don't do in the middle of the busiest pedestrian street in the city.

3. If you, your spouse and your kids are all wearing shorts and t-shirts, I am going to assume that you are tourists and I will look at you as if you are idiots. Because you are.

[DM]

I happened too be on a bus full of silent sleepy people when I saw those bicyclists hit the arm. Now when I see people laughing to themselves on busses I tell myself that they're seeing something strange outside of the bus and not that they are having a drug induced conversation with an imaginary person.

[Pablo]

VictoriaE77 -

"When traffic is stopped in two lanes, and the only open lane ends in 1/2 mile, speeding that 1/2 mile and then trying to bully your way in."

Oooooh boy - that's my biggest one - I deal with it *every* morning - bugs the hell out of me that after I try to merge in smoothly, the jerks take off down as far as they can go.

The only reason I haven't mounted twin machine guns on my car to take them out is that I have accidently done that (when in strange cities).

Although I would like to mount one of those outside message displays on my car, and be able to type messages to the jerks while I'm driving by....

(Yeah, maybe I need to lay off the coffee too ...)

Pablo

[DM]

Dave suggested that once. But he suggested that we use dart guns instead of real bullets being the nice guys he is.

[elle]

DM-

HEE! That's a great story. If only the bikers in DC who think that they are cars could meet the same fate.

I just hope that the arm wasn't automated and that the person controlling it had the same feelings that we do.

[Somewhere North]

I can't stop!

When my boss decides to have an urgent one-on-one conversation at 4:59pm.

When I get aformentioned "dr" tells me that he would like the elevator to make a "ping" sound instead of a "beep" and can I fix this. (These are all true examples)

When I send in a report on time, that breaks down into everything that the boss wanted and he sends it back with a "you mispelled a word on page six and I'd like you to substitute 'move' for 'pass' in all 62 instances in the document".

Help! Somebody stop me....

[Jeff Meyerson]

I drove past a highway patrolman the other day. He was standing outside of his car, about two feet away from trafic, with a radar. He would just lift his hand and point at a car, and the car would pull over. I thought that was amazing. Or possibly stupid. I was very surprised he didn't get hit.

Victoria, a couple of years ago I was on I-95 in Maryland when a cop walked out in front of the car from the left shoulder to get someone to pull over! I thought that was close to suicidal, not to mention the odds of causing a major accident.

When traffic is stopped in two lanes, and the only open lane ends in 1/2 mile, speeding that 1/2 mile and then trying to bully your way in.

Victoria & Pablo: ditto on that one. I've found when driving in Britain then when drivers see a sign saying "right lane closed in 1/2 mile" then tend to get out of the lane as soon as they can - except of course for the few who are either obnoxious assholes or so oblivious they don't even notice the sign.

In this country people pull into the right lane deliberately in hopes of passing a few more cars before the lane ends.

And don't these morons who use the on ramp lane as a passing lane get it that they are the ones contributing to the traffic delays?

You guys shouldn't have gotten me started.

I'd say as long as you don't go 10 miles over the posted speed limit the odds of you getting pulled over for speeind are small in most areas. What gets me is when I'm going 7-10 miles over the limit and cars are passing me like I'm standing still.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I drove past a highway patrolman the other day. He was standing outside of his car, about two feet away from trafic, with a radar. He would just lift his hand and point at a car, and the car would pull over. I thought that was amazing. Or possibly stupid. I was very surprised he didn't get hit.

Victoria, a couple of years ago I was on I-95 in Maryland when a cop walked out in front of the car from the left shoulder to get someone to pull over! I thought that was close to suicidal, not to mention the odds of causing a major accident.

When traffic is stopped in two lanes, and the only open lane ends in 1/2 mile, speeding that 1/2 mile and then trying to bully your way in.

Victoria & Pablo: ditto on that one. I've found when driving in Britain then when drivers see a sign saying "right lane closed in 1/2 mile" then tend to get out of the lane as soon as they can - except of course for the few who are either obnoxious assholes or so oblivious they don't even notice the sign.

In this country people pull into the right lane deliberately in hopes of passing a few more cars before the lane ends.

And don't these morons who use the on ramp lane as a passing lane get it that they are the ones contributing to the traffic delays?

You guys shouldn't have gotten me started.

I'd say as long as you don't go 10 miles over the posted speed limit the odds of you getting pulled over for speeding are small in most areas. What gets me is when I'm going 7-10 miles over the limit and cars are passing me like I'm standing still.

(Note: if this double posts it is because I noticed a mistake and decided to change it. That is all.)

[tyler]

Take it easy, judi. Deep breath. Relax, enhance your calm...what's this? Oh, thank you...congrats for what? HEY!

[ceeg22]

I generally drive 5 miles over the speed limit, for years this was the norm, but lately I'm getting passed a lot. and it's very entertaining to see all those brake lights ahead of me when a cop suddenly appears from the other direction.

I also enjoy when the car in front of me suddenly stops for no apparent reason, and I realize they're waiting for a chance to turn left. why use a directional, when your auto-body language will convey your plans?

[Suzy Q]

SN, I can relate. Here's some of mine:

When people at the office pretend they can't put their computer together after we move or have a hurricane scare, so I get to do it.

When people dump stuff they don't want to deal with in my cube instead of just dealing with it.

When people (insubordinates who should be minding their own business) snitch to the boss about me taking 10 extra minutes at lunch.

I'm sure there's more....

[West Side]

When people are at a service counter (the bank, fast food, etc.) and are talking on their cell phone instead of conducting business, forcing the rest of us in line to wait an excruciatinly long time. Then the poor person behind the counter is forced to apologize for the delay!

BTW You all have a lot of road rage issues...

[West Side]

Excruciatingly, sorry about that to all of you spelling bee champs.

[Somewhere North]

I don't mind the road issues so much. In fact, I am one of those people who goes to the end of the lane before pulling into the other lane. Once, out east, I travelled for probably about 3 miles in the right lane while everyone else was lined up in the left. I thought it was hysterically funny that they had all pulled over 3 miles before the actual lane ended. They probably hated me.

But then, I am a city driver and we are notoriously obnoxious drivers which comes from a sincere desire to not die in a 16 car pile up on the way to work.

[Boo Augustus]

Speaking of DC cabs . . .

. . . according to the published rate sheet it's allowed, but I think the cab driver is an asshole when he stops to pick-up another fare while you're in the cab.

[Boo Augustus]

Speaking of DC cabs . . .

. . . according to the published rate sheet it's allowed, but I think the cab driver is an asshole when he stops to pick-up another fare while you're in the cab.

[queensbee]

all i can think of Jeff- when you talk about rescue me and denis leary - his song "the asshole song' - should be required listening for many, many - and for the rest of us as sheer amusement!!

[bilge]

I know where the cops hide on my usual routes, so I slow automatically when I get near them. I LOVE watching people going way too fast get within 20 feet of him before seeing him then slam on the brakes, as though he hadn't already clocked them.

[Somewhere North]

I once passed a cop trying to wave me down for speeding. I was going about 140 km/hour which works out to I have no idea in miles and he was standing on the road waving me over. I did a quick calculation and (correctly) figured he'd never catch me before the next exit.

Was that wrong? It hasn't bothered me until you bunch started chatting about people actually pulling over for cops with radar guns.

And bilge - if you ever have a tall blond blow past you at 140 km/hour while you try to wave her over, I am truly sorry.

[queensbee]

and thank you brainy Jello for the link to the lyrics... i was reading too fast and missed it. asshole-ness - and we've all done assholey things - by accident - but assholeness can be measured by the amount of crud other people have to go thru because of what you've done. do it once - accident. twice, well ok, maybe stupid. after that - asshole!
and here's to all of those who weren't bloody paying attention in 2nd grade when they were teaching the difference between "your', and 'you're". BAH!

[Brainy Jello]

SN - 140 kmph = 86.99 mph

And he was waving you over cause you had your grandmother tied to the roof of your car, so yes - that was wrong.

[Funny Name]

Giddy: And you BROKE UP with the guy????!!!

To all of these fine examples, I would add:

Accusing certain people of having a certain haircut which allegedly went out in the 70's, but that certain other people think still looks really cool, not that certain people HAVE that certain haircut.

[Somewhere North]

Brainy - my grandmother likes being tied to the roof rack and besides, it was the only way to smuggle her out of jail since all the guards were looking in the car not on it.

But I really shouldn't have allowed her to have that dart gun. It's true that those darts stuck to surrounding cars could have caused an accident.

[VictoriaE77]

I feel better knowing that (most) everyone here is as irritable as me.

Makes me feel special.

[VictoriaE77]

I was right.

I just checked. This is the longest thread since Dave got stuck in the small world ride.

[VictoriaE77]

Ok, not the longest thread ever. But pretty durn long.

[M.C.]

I feel like an a$$hole for saying it, but is this going to be today's last DB/SB blog entry?

;-)

[Jeff Meyerson]

I know where the cops hide on my usual routes, so I slow automatically when I get near them. I LOVE watching people going way too fast get within 20 feet of him before seeing him then slam on the brakes, as though he hadn't already clocked them.

Right, bilge. There is a notorious speed trap on the inbound Belt Parkway from the Verrazano Bridge in towards Manhattan. I used to come the other way every morning after dropping my wife off downtown and inevitably the highway patrol cops had a speeder pulled over.

Don't they ever learn?

On the other hand: there is an intersection near me with "No Left Turn 8 AM to 10 PM" signs in all 4 directions where people turn left illegally ALL the time. Most seem not to even see the sign but other just ignore it. Even though there are often cops parked right at the corner I've never seen them pull anyone over.

I wonder why.

[VictoriaE77]

ok, reneviht, you win. I was not a blogette at that time, so I missed it.

[reneviht]

Yeah, when I first found the blog, I tried to keep up with the 138-long serieses of commentses, but it got kinda exhausting after a while. I'm still not sure what a MOATarita is, although I think the esteemed Christobol knows.

[Shannon]

To cheer everyone up, let me tell a recent story where the asshole lost.

I was driving down a four-lane divided highway, just below the speed limit, when I saw a minivan coasting toward a stop sign just ahead and to my right. I was immediately suspicious, so I took my foot off the gas and held it over the break. Sure enough, MinivanAsshole cruised right past the stop sign and into my lane. I hit the brake and the horn and let loose a few choice adjectives.

Just then, what should appear in the left lane from behind me but ... a cop! Who immediately turned on his lights and pulled over MinivanAsshole! Instant karma! Yayyyyyyy!

I am not making this up.

[Lizzy]

I would like to add:

-Going out to a restaurant with only enough money to cover the food, then ordering a bunch of drinks and dessert and actually being surprised that you were charged for them, then expecting your friend to pay for you.

Yeah, I had a bad weekend.

[Aaargh]

Once, I blew past a cop parked in a residential neighborhood, doing at least 20 mph over the posted limit. Sure enough, he turned on his lights and started to pull after me, when, lo and behold, a pickup cut him off, going EVEN FASTER than me, so he got pulled over instead. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Seems like most pet peeves are about driving so I'll diverge a bit...

Using an ATM for 18 consecutive transactions when people are waiting.

Argh! I so agree. What's worse is when people think that in order to do a different transaction, they have to completely finish one, pull out their card, and re-insert it and retype their PIN for EACH TRANSACTION. Most ATMs will have a question along the lines of, "Do you have another transaction?" This means these people actually say "NO" to eject the card and start over. Grrr!

[West Side]

Lizzy, you inspired another one from me.

-Going out with a group of people and only paying the EXACT amount of the price of your food so everyone else has to put in extra money to pay the tax and tip.

I hate this because you can never tell who it was....

[VictoriaE77]

Shannon and Aaargh ~ As I drink this beer, and try to relax after work, I rejoice in your moments of victory.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Shannon & Aargh: ditto to Victoria's comment. I got pulled over for having my brake light out. Sometimes you get a warning, sometimes a ticket that is cancelled if you have it replaced within 24 hours. This time the cop got an emergency call just as he was going for his ticket book.

Add one more:

People who don't put on their headlights when it is raining and the visibility is near zero. Not only is it stupid, it's against the law.

[Aunt Nancy]

I don't know if this one got mentioned yet, but Jeff's comment reminded me of another entry: people who don't buckle their kids into car seats or safety belts. That's illegal, too. (at least in Iowa) And it sends shivers down my spine when I see children bouncing around inside a vehicle or staring out the back window at me. I hope one of those kids never goes through that window.

[VictoriaE77]

Aunt Nancy ~ You just hit another of mine. I was in the drive thru at MickeyD's, (Please don't flame me) and the lady if front of me had about 6 kids in her car, crawling all over the car, no seat belts. As near as I could tell, the smallest looked around three or so. I was so angry, I called the cops on my cell. They said they usually don't send a trooper out for seat belt violations, so I told them she seemed drunk. (Dunno if they ever sent one though)

The adult(Mother?) was wearing her seat belt.

Another time, I was driving on my lunch at work, and I drove down one of our main downtown streets, and I saw a toddler, (in a diaper, no clothes, looked about 2) PLAYING IN THE STREET! Standing on the curb, then jumping into a puddle on the street, climbing back up to jump again. No adult anywhere in sight. Called the cops on that one too.

[Newbie]

I've got one about the parking:

I live right next door to a community baseball field and my driveway leads out into the drive leading back to the parking lot for the field. I get mad at the people who park on the edge of the ball field right in front of my driveway instead of parking in either of the 2 designated parking lots because it's closer to the field. I've got a truck and backing out of my drive is damn near impossible with that HUGE locust tree on the corner of my driveway and some bonehead's vehicle is in my way. There's only one way for me to go to get out! Since I don't LIKE to be an asshole I just sit at home and wait for the game to end and everyone leaves so I can get my errands done. Oh, and there are the ignoramuses who actually park IN MY GRASS! I usually catch them before they get out and make them move.

Thanks for the vent!!

[judi]

you could post a sign that says "no parking..." or "private property; violators will be towed." doesn't matter that you don't plan to do it. maybe none of those people ever thought about it being a problem for anyone.

[DM]

Not long ago there was a really bad car accident in Miami. Some guy in a minivan was speeding because he was late for his cruise. He saw a cop and slammed on the breaks, immediately losing control. None of his family members, who were in the car, were wearing seat belt. The minivan rolled over and his two daughters were ejected out the minivan and off the 50 foot tall highway overpass that they were on. I don't remember if the others survived. I happened to drive past shortly after the accident and can't get it out of my head.

[DM]

Sorry thats not a very fun story.

[Aunt Nancy]

Newbie - if you post a sign that says "Private Property - No Parking - Violators Will Be Towed At Owners Expense" this gives you the legal right to have violators either ticketed or towed. It also helps to put an ad in the paper letting the community know you plan to enforce your property rights. Sometimes your city will even provide you with a sign, especially if you can document how bad the situation is. Example: someone abandoned a stolen car on our church property, and the police told me they wouldn't tow it until I'd had a "No Parking" sign up for 48 hours. I did as they requested, and 48 hours later they towed the car. As long as what you do complies with local laws, you can do whatever is necessary to protect your property.

[queensbee]

maybe i am a mean ole geezer, but why dont the people checking out groceries know about different vegetables.. not really odd ones, but cabbage. sheesh. not assholes, just ig'nant. and they arent all high school kids either.
and i know that speed trap on the belt parkway, jeff, and people just keep getting caught. and, as long as ranting is allowed - why, when you are next in line, [banks, wherever] clerks say "May I help you?" NO! I just came in here to stand on your line. duh. How about "How can I help you?" or Next please... or something else. I may get started on misused quotations next.

[Aunt Nancy]

queensbee - I've found that it's OK to safely rant here. You're fairly anonymous, and the bloggers are wonderfully patient people. To borrow a paraphrase: "We feel your pain." Which reminds me - I share your gripe about the grocery clerks who don't know their veggies. That's why I (try to) grow my own.

[bilge]

Totally off topic and sort of a conflict of interests:
A few weeks ago I was heading home when a state trooper on a motorcycle clocked me speeding and decided he was going to pull me over, since I was one of the only cars on the road. Well, he hopped on his bike and started to do a u-turn and... flipped his bike on its side.
I kept watching to see if he was going to get it up, because I figured if he did, there was no way he was going to let me out of THAT ticket. He didn't and I raced to the next exit and took the long way home.
If that ever happened to me, I don't know if I would be too embarrassed to face the person or if I would cite them for every offense in the book. (Did you know you can be fined for having dark tint in your SUV or minivan? Even if it came that way.)

[Aunt Nancy]

queensbee - I've known plenty of sober a-holes. However, I believe that intoxication increases one's a-hole-ness exponentially.

And that was a great article. Thanks!

[Liz]

Since reading this, I've come up with a whole slew of things that could warrant one of these cards.

--I live in the garden apartment of a brownstone in NYC. Some *wonderful* tenant above me likes to drop cigarette butts and peanuts into the garden that I have to clean! How inconsiderate!

--The people who stop right outside a revolving door.

--Self-important building security personnel who greet you every day and know you, but act like you're a terrorist if you forget your access card once.

--People who rush ahead of you to get to the subway gate, only to stop and dig through enormous bags to find the metrocard, causing a huge backup.

--Customer service personnel who are anything but.

--And from when I used to work as a cashier at a clothing store: When a "customer" moves a piece of clothing onto a sales rack that doesn't belong there, and then fight with the sales person until the manager relents and gives them the deeply discounted (and wrong) price. My question: Why would the manager care if this person shops at the store again? So they can pull this act every time?

*sigh* feels good to vent every now and then

[Brainy Jello]

queens - and driving through a funeral procession.

Who knew that was illegal? Guess I won't go back to Idaho any time soon.

[queensbee]

well yeah, brainy, i never woulda thought that either. but then, driving thru a funeral just isnt a nice thing to do so, i wouldnt. but i guess given enough beer, uh, yeah.
and to add to lists - ANYBODY who is self important and cant get over themselves... asshole.

[ceeg22]

I rarely get the enjoyment of seeing somebody who passed me pulled over for speeding, but I often get to see them again and again at the next few lights, I guess they're in a hurry to get to the stoplight so they can rest.

[VictoriaE77]

ceeg22 ~ They're trying to get to the next stoplight so they can put on their make-up/shave (face for man, legs for woman)/write a check/read a report/watch porn, and so on.