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June 28, 2005

PROFILE IN COURAGE

Paula A. finds a cause..

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My wittle thumb hurts
A manicure is no cure.
Thumbs down for Paula

Someday, I want my greatest concern in life to be manicure related, instead of 'how can I continue to blog all day at work and get paid'.
Hmmmm.. I think I'll hush now.

I developed a bacterial infection from two known bacteria," Abdul said.

What's her gripe? I mean, she knew the bacteria, so it's not as if strangers infected her nails! Sheesh!

I hear she's also pushing for improved hygiene standards for Bo Bice.

World hunger? Nope
Aids in Africa? Nope
Landmine awareness? Nope.

Nail salon hygiene. Now there is a cause you can sink your fingers into...

Nail Salon Hygiene wNOTbagnfarb, or even for a an all girl rock band.

Nah....got nothing yet. Paula A. is not worth the brain cells this early (hey, I'm on west coast time.)

Is

"As a direct result of the manicurist using non-disinfected, non-sanitized manicuring instruments on my hand, I developed a bacterial infection from two known bacteria,"

the new "bit the salmon"?

First there's Parkinson's,
Cancer kills millions of folks,
Ow, my cuticle!

Well for one, I am glad a "celebrity", even a pseudo celebrity, is testify about something in which they have knowledge or experience.
Refreshing! Not news, but refreshing.

Thumb Infection WBAGNFARB as well as Paula's new nickname.

Abdul told California lawmakers that an April 2004 manicure that she had done in Los Angeles prompted over a year of follow-up medical care, including a prescription for medication designed to treat parasites and shots of a local anesthetic.

I think Paula had a few too many "shots of a local anesthetic" when she got involved in that hit & run accident last year.

Sigh. I used to have a problem with cuticles being infected. Wanna know how to get rid of it?

DO THE DISHES!

For some reason, Dawn diswashing soap actually got rid of the infections. I mean bad infections. Fingers swollen, puss-ee, red lines going up the fingers, super gross infections.

Well, it's about time somebody took on this issue. After all, when was the last time you heard of the terrible specter of unsanitary manicures? Whereas you can't swing a dead cat without hearing about AIDS in Africa or world poverty or any of these important issues.It's things like this that let us know that our muckraking spirit is still alive.

Fight the Power! You go girl. I finally feel avenged for that pedicure when I contracted clubfoot and typhoid.

*swings a dead cat*

random passerby: ....And don't even get me started on AIDS in Africa or world poverty! And furthermore....

Wow. Reneviht was serious.

I have gotten one manicure in my life. I was six months pregnant and we were going on vacation to Stone Mountain, GA for a relative's wedding, and I thought that I would pamper myself. My hands broke out in these little bumps that looked like poison ivy, but didn't itch. I had a viral skin infection that had to "run its course" while we were on vacation! No more manicures thank you! Sorry this isn't funny, and I never thought to go and lobby any government agencies about it. I did tell the salon about it though, and I didn't sue them or make them pay for my visit to the doctor either.

You know, I don't think dead cats Like to be swung.

I don't think dead cats care what happens to them.

So it's the dead cats that don't think.

Now, if we can just get some brave American to take a stand against that insidious ear wax problem.

For people whose ears are still ringing
From closeness to Ms. Abdul's singing
The sensation's the same
When your nails inflame
with dreaded cuticular stinging!

oh do your own nails .... oh. and get over yourself too. why is this woman even on tv? she's queen of the land of no-talent hasbeens. byenow.

Oh, the humanity! When is Sir Bob Geldof going to get involved?
She slept with Corey Clark, so since when is she concerned about getting infections?

Dead cats are not funny.

Not anymore. But at one time that dead cat was hilarious.

Why don't legitimate news sources like Reuters ever give the "where to buy" details, like Vogue does? I really want that dress Paula's wearing and have no idea who made it or how much it costs!

Oh...was there an actual article with that picture...nah, probably not...

At least she's not a voice for something I actually care about.

You guys need to calm down. This article describes only one facet of her life. You all are picking on her because she decides to make a stand to make nail salons cleaner. This isn't as stupid as it may seem like. Lots of women and men get their nails done. It's kind of like going to get your hair cut these days, yet nobody seems to think that's being pampered. I personally don't have mine done, but if I ever did, I'd sure like to know that I'm not going to get some infectious bacteria from it.

Oh, and Paula A. got "some fame" in the 80's? Excuse me? She was one of the top pop singers of that time frame. She didn't get famous because of her deal on American Idol. She's on American Idol because she was already famous (and probably in need of a career boost, I will grant that).

Okay, off my soapbox, now.

You guys need to calm down. This article describes only one facet of her life. You all are picking on her because she decides to make a stand to make nail salons cleaner. This isn't as stupid as it may seem like. Lots of women and men get their nails done. It's kind of like going to get your hair cut these days, yet nobody seems to think that's being pampered. I personally don't have mine done, but if I ever did, I'd sure like to know that I'm not going to get some infectious bacteria from it.

Oh, and Paula A. got "some fame" in the 80's? Excuse me? She was one of the top pop singers of that time frame. She didn't get famous because of her deal on American Idol. She's on American Idol because she was already famous (and probably in need of a career boost, I will grant that).

Okay, off my soapbox, now.

You guys need to calm down. This article describes only one facet of her life. You all are picking on her because she decides to make a stand to make nail salons cleaner. This isn't as stupid as it may seem like. Lots of women and men get their nails done. It's kind of like going to get your hair cut these days, yet nobody seems to think that's being pampered. I personally don't have mine done, but if I ever did, I'd sure like to know that I'm not going to get some infectious bacteria from it.

Oh, and Paula A. got "some fame" in the 80's? Excuse me? She was one of the top pop singers of that time frame. She didn't get famous because of her deal on American Idol. She's on American Idol because she was already famous (and probably in need of a career boost, I will grant that).

Okay, off my soapbox, now.

Funny (and slightly nauseating) story about dead cats...During an undergrad anatomy course we spent an entire semester dissecting dead cats. One day during brain dissection their was a fire in an adjoining lab and had to flee with our cats still on the tables, some with large bone saws imbedded in their craniums! I can't imagine what the fire marshall thought when he stumbled on that macabre scene!

Schade - Please stop defending Paula Abdul. Thank you.

Congrats on the new baby, btw!

No cats were injured in the creation of this thread, but a soap box was triple-crushed.

Thank you, that is all.

P.S. This story is for anyone who thinks dead cats are funny. Because they really aren't.

Dead cats.....

Burying the cat, from the 3rd series of Monty Python

Mrs. Conclusion (Chapman): Hullo, Mrs. Premise.
Mrs. Premise (Cleese): Hullo, Mrs. Conclusion.
Conclusion: Busy Day?
Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.
Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?
Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.
Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then?
Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the
safe side.
Conclusion: Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead
cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I
say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down.
Premise: Really - is it very old?
Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet
tomorrow.
Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?
Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been
reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and
apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot
them just there, just above the beak.
Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers
down the loo.
Conclusion: No, you shouldn't

a missed bit...

Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*!

a missed bit...

Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*!

Katiejane-

Still not funny.
Nauseating, yes.

My staet has pretty tough laws on that stuff. Not that I get anything done, but I had a roommate who was a nail tech. In an unrelated note, she still has nightmares about one of my brothers' ugly ugly feet.

Edelweiss:

Paula's dress not likely off-the-rack; after all Reality TV pseudo-superstar has-beens have an IMAGE to maintain.

Loved your Vogue reference, bwah ha ha

Sadly, the California Legislature will listen to her and we will have 200,000 nail salon inspectors clogging up the Taco Bell drive-thrus at this time next year. Even worse is that some of them will be making $200,000 a year out of some weird overtime fluke, which will ensure that their pensions use that amount as the base and 5 years from now, we'll be paying these people 6 figure pensions to watch Jerry Springer and post to this blog.

One time, I got so infected from a manicure, that I had to seduce a young contestant on a reality television show.

I'm telling you, they need to be regulated.

That's not funny! In fact, nothing is funny!

I agree with A Young Contestant.

This can be a real problem, people. You wouldn't scoff at restaurants or medical facilities have sanitation standards, would you? I don't know why this is a source of amusement. Sure, there are a million causes out there, some much more "serious." Doesn't mean it's not worth attention, or that its worthy of ridicule just because a pop star is involved. Celebrities are called on to testify for bills ALL THE TIME if they have any connection to the issue. Sheesh.

C'bol,
Do you really think that young contestants need to be regulated. Won't this just create another layer of bureaucracy on an already over-burdened reality show business, business. Before long you will want to regulate the live audience, then the television audience and before long communist storm troopers will be sleeping in your bed, eating your food, driving your car and petting your sheep.
No! I say nip-it-in the bud. Stop the Madness now!!
Vote Dave Barry in 2008! A chicken in every pot and a Mullet for every head.

Hmmm. Not sure how I amanged a TRIPLE post.

There is nothing funny about triple-posting.

It appears that Dave is disguised above as A Young Contestant, Dead Manicured Cat and The Humor Police. Oh my.

Dave, sorry for being a downer. I do find many things to be funny. Like you. Just not dead cats. I mean, they're dead. What the hell? Move along to the living. They're much funnier, and 'deadpan' isn't just a natural state, it's a state of (living) mind.

*paula*

OK, let's recap...

Dead cats: not funny
Number of cats injured in the creation of this thread: zero
Paula's dress: sexy
Paula's career: twilight
Paula'a manicure infection: oozing gooey pus... but oddly sexy

Thank you, you may now return to your blogging

The subject of dead cats makes me bite my nails. (Note to Paula . . . )

Once they're dead they really don't know if you're making fun of them or not, do they?

just askin'

Dead cats are not funny. They always blow the punchline.

However, someone manicuring a dead cat could be funny, provided they then juggle it with four hamsters and a potato salad.

*wondering if it's something the air....*

Note to performers: The potato salad nearly always drops the dead manicured cat. Hence the fourth hamster.

OK, so Paula has a cause. But does she have an effect?

I think not.

Did you count all your fingers before you left?

I can't believe I'm going to say this -
"In Paula's defense" -
Her neurological disorder (RSD) is what put her over the edge with this infection.
It's no laughing matter and increases all pain levels off the charts.
I speak from personal experience.
And I once giggled through a person's funeral at dead cat jokes. Uncle Billy kept slipping me little bits of paper with dead cat jokes on them.

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