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June 26, 2005

PARENT OF THE YEAR SO FAR

If Lourdes exceeds the ten grand in any given month, we imagine she'll just have to mow lawns.

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This is just sad.

Dear Madonna,

If you give me a credit card with a 10K monthly limit too, I'll take Lourdes shopping and teach her how to be financially responsible. I'm happy to do that for you because I know you're much too busy with Kaballah, and I have lots of spare time.

JP: what a generous offer!

So I asked my wife, if you wanted to teach your 8 year old daughter how to be responsible with money what would you do? Silly her. She said "give her an allowance and chores."

I guess it's a good thing we have no children. Thank goodness for moms like Esther who know what the right answer is.

Un-friggin-believable.

Can't...resist...haiku...

"Here's 10 grand Lourdes,
now make sure you spend wisely."
"But mum, I can't add..."

Isn't that rather like giving Saddam Hussein his own nuclear reactor to play with?

Now if someone can teach Madonna how to be responsible with birth control, we'll be onto something.

Like Mother, like Daughter?

At $120,000 per year that's ONE H3LL OF AN ALLOWANCE!

.... can I be adopted?

Kilmeny,

Yes, we are giving Saddam his own reactor, but one that only splits 10,000 atoms a month. We're trying to teach him to be responsible with WMDs.

Well, in special cases such as this, we have to make allowances ...

(OK, so other posts alluded to this ... I thot of it before I read the posts ... BOOGER!)

NOW, where is that gun?

never thought I'd ever do this...

("Material Girl")

Madonna gave her kid a card
The limit's 'just' 10K
So she can buy the Toys 'R Us
If it's a rainy day!

Lourdes has a line of credit
To learn responsibility
If she wants a guest house made of Legos
At least it won't be free!

'Cause she is living
In a material world
And she'll be a material girl

As Lourdes ages, her bills will
Soon grow by leaps and bounds
If not paid off her monthly statement
Weighs in at several pounds!

Turning her into a Hilton
I think is a mistake
Let her earn her own way in life
Or else 'let her eat cake'.

(chorus)

Reject your mother's values, Lourdes!
Might seem like good advice
But Madonna's believed most everything
Sometimes more than twice!

(chorus and fade)

Bravo, insom - I could see the video in my mind while I was reading it!!!!

And Chapter 2 whould be, Girls Just Want To Have Fun! And with 10K a month they certainly can!

yes, it's playing in my mind, too, complete with her lap-dog like little yelps.

I expect that this is the setup to some horrible reality show...

.... some people should be prohibited from breeding and be prosecuted for Crimes Against Humanity.

Isn't THAT what The Hague was set up for?

Okay, crazy question here: How does it teach a child financial 'responsibility' to give her basically unlimited money, in a form that you can't (easily) keep track of how much she's spent? And how often does an eight-year-old go shopping by herself anyway? And, most importantly, why do I care?

Daisyj, amen to your post

Plus, how many cashiers are going to let an eight-year old walk up to the counter and slam down a platinum card?

Wurm42 -

Well, if the clerk is halfway on the job (as more seem to be these days, at least where I use plastic), they'll ask for some form of ID ... and when whatsername whips out her ID (what? Madonna will hafta have some form of plan for this ... do they issue 8-year-olds ID? ... a Passport, sure!) then the clerk will be so amazed and stunned that this is actually Madonna's daughter ... !!! OMG!!! and will either faint dead away, or begin slavering and drooling all over the kid, or else calling the police for someone trying to run a scam by impersonating a genuinely important person ...

well, you get the idea ...

... of course, the kid isn't likely to be shopping at your neighborhood Kameapart or Waldo's ... so the whole deal prolly won't be anything too exciting at those stores ... excuuuuuuse me! -- boutiques ... so ... just another example of someone with too much money or not enuf sense or a combination of the two ...

My parents didn't even give me ten grand for college.

My poor kids, stuck with me as a parent instead of Madonna… The last time I called home, it was to suggest to MY children that an excellent entrepreneurial opportunity to make some spending money would be to go around to the approximately two billion yuppie families in our immediate neighborhood, and offer to go into said yuppies' fenced back yards on a regular basis and clean out the dog poop, for a suitable fee.

You just can't overemphasize the importance of choosing your parents wisely...

The Peril

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