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June 17, 2005

McTED

mcted.jpg

(Thanks to Rockchild)

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You know how sometimes, after a long night of doing Jager bombs with your roommate’s sister at every pub on Second Avenue, you wake up and wonder what day it is? And then you realize it’s Friday, and for a brief moment, through your hangover, you feel a brief glimpse of hope for humanity? And you’re feeling pretty good about yourself because your roommate’s sister is pretty hot, even though it almost feels like incest once-removed, but we’re in the South so you think maybe that’s acceptable as long as her parents hate you? So you go to brush your toofs? But you gotta brush really good to get the Jager off of your breath before the morning staff meeting? And you start inventing logical but slightly odd ways of maximizing your toofpaste-to-breath smell ratio? So you work up a good lather and start breathing deeply to clean out the residual likker particles from your lungs? Like it’s some kind of yoga toof cleansing ritual? And you vaguely remember reading somewhere that Sulphuric Tree-Stunning Yak Breath is caused primarily by dermatoganids or somesuch imaginary microscopic Martian life form which secretes or excretes or concretes or whatever all over your tongue? So you work your toofbrush waaaaaaay back into what is clinically known as the Hornk Region of your mouth, and you almost, but not quite, hornk all over your roommates Maxim’s 100 Hottest issue that has been permanently installed on your sink, so that your stomach, in a diabolical effort to thwart you, sends up even more Jager smell particles? So you tell your coworkers that you can’t go to the meeting because you have typhoid and fear kickstarting an epidemic?

Yeah, that happens to me too.

Wow, it was true what whoever made this was talking about. I can't un-see it now.

You know how sometimes, after a long night of doing Jager bombs with your roommate’s sister at every pub on Second Avenue, you wake up and wonder what day it is? And then you realize it’s Friday, and for a brief moment, through your hangover, you feel a brief glimpse of hope for humanity? And you’re feeling pretty good about yourself because your roommate’s sister is pretty hot, even though it almost feels like incest once-removed, but we’re in the South so you think maybe that’s acceptable as long as her parents hate you? So you go to brush your toofs? But you gotta brush really good to get the Jager off of your breath before the morning staff meeting? And you start inventing logical but slightly odd ways of maximizing your toofpaste-to-breath smell ratio? So you work up a good lather and start breathing deeply to clean out the residual likker particles from your lungs? Like it’s some kind of yoga toof cleansing ritual? And you vaguely remember reading somewhere that Sulphuric Tree-Stunning Yak Breath is caused primarily by dermatoganids or somesuch imaginary microscopic Martian life form which secretes or excretes or concretes or whatever all over your tongue? So you work your toofbrush waaaaaaay back into what is clinically known as the Hornk Region of your mouth, and you almost, but not quite, hornk all over your roommates Maxim’s 100 Hottest issue that has been permanently installed on your sink, so that your stomach, in a diabolical effort to thwart you, sends up even more Jager smell particles? So you tell your coworkers that you can’t go to the meeting because you have typhoid and fear kickstarting an epidemic?

Yeah, that happens to me too.

Fed, mon petit choux-fleur, run away weeth mee to ze casbah...

And you know how when you're so hung over that you think your eyes are bleeding and you hit the post button twice?

Yeah, that happens to you too.

wow. oh, and mcTed is cute too.

it wasnt a double post. it was deja view all over again.
and mcted's cute tooo.

I see Ted took the movie Supersize Me to heart...

FedDuck - *whispers due to Fed Duck's obvious hangover* Bravo!! A story that great is worthy of being read twice!

Fed's Roommate: Hey Fedster, did you and your sister have fun last night? You look a little worse for wear this morning.

Fed: Yeah..I..that is..MY SISTER? Oh man, that was a lot of jager bombs. Pardon me while I go revisit my hornk region.

How would you like to be six years old and have THAT hovering over your head? More importantly, how would you like to be that six-year-old's future therapist?

Fed ~ That happens to me all the time. Except for most of it. I think. The Jager makes everything hazy.

What's worse, Fed -for me, not you, unless you're hanging out with me- is that I just acquired a watch with the Jager logo on the face.

To spell it out, when people ask me what time it is, my answer is inevitably this:

"It's Jager time. Oh, and it's noon, too."

McL my everloving McA Off.

By far my favorite.

McCute.

I guess Mick Jagger must have really bad breath!

I think if I was six years old and saw that big balloon, I would run for my life, but I think I would run anys, because I have to loose weight.

Thanks Judi, everybody!

Fed, While I like to take an occasional taste of alcohol, myself, it has always been my belief that once you start drinking Jager, you should immedeatly check yourself in to rehab!

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