HELP

I am blogging this by phone from inside the Small World ride. The boats have stopped. Repeating: THE BOATS HAVE STOPPED.

(Update question: If this post is edited, will it then accept comments?)

Comments

[Atticus]

Hold on Dave! But whatever you do, DON'T DRINK THE WATER! Unless suicide becomes the only option (which is not unlikely), then help yourself.

I just pray the music isn't still playing.

[shannon :-]

I am pretty sure that is like the 4th layer of hell or something...

[Scott]

Where are the Rescue Rangers when you need them?

[silver]

Only the fourth circle of Hell? I would put that at being equal to inside the mouth of Satan.

[Atticus]

BTW, I would like to point out that I had to trick the blog into letting me post to this thread and thus have rescued it from blog limbo.

Technically, first goes to djtonyb who was kind enough to call 911 on the mulletphotos thread. Props to you dj.

[gfunksizzle]

Oh, God. Next step: The kid next to them has to go to the bathroom.

[djtonyb]

Swim, Dave! Swim for your life!

[laura]

"it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world... ad nauseum after all!"

[laura]

"it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world, it's a small world... ad nauseum after all!"

[PeeJay]

Call me crazy Dave, but try another ride? Lines are lines, insanity is insanity, just pick another ride, duck out for a few cold ones, and in an hour or so, rush up to the family shouting "where have you been?" tic tacs could be useful too:)

[thirdman]

Written by: Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman

It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all

There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to ev'ryone
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world...

[queensbee]

Barf bag please!

[Federal Duck]

*ducks into conveniently placed phone booth*

Never fear Dave, the MOAT Rangers of Fury will rescue you!!

*blows the horn of summoning*

*MOATers drag in, shambling and scratching themselves. Many appear hung over*

Together we will fight for truth, justice and.... um, guys?

Ok Dave, use your cell phone to call Pisney Porld security. The MOATers will, um, be right behind them.

[Burp!]

Burp twice and you'll be just fine.

[the Gypsy]

Oh, my lord... poor Dave... that has to be worse than anything in the world... trapped in It's A Small World will he ever be the same or will his brain just rot away....

[Lou Bricant]

If you see the boats from Pirates of the Caribbean-- run.

[elle]

Claw out your eardrums as fast as you can. It's the only way.

[LL]

On a related note:
Did anyone else besides me talk the kids into going to the Hall of Presidents just because it is air conditioned, and you get to sit down for 20 minutes?

[Zaphod]

Unfortunately true story: I was at DizzyWorld with my sister and her kids several years ago. She insisted that we all ride Small World together. Here's the really bad part - After the first tortuous journey, she insisted that we immediately get back in line and ride it again. Which we did.

So Dave, you have my deepest sympathy.

[JC]

My mother used to sell Small World music boxes outside the end of the Small World ride. She almost lost her life on the occassions the ride became stuck.

[neatfreak]

I speak as a survivor of a "Small World" malfunction: In high school, a friend and I ducked in to escape a brief downpour. Little did we know that we had left an inconvenience for a life-altering disaster. The boats stopped mid-ride for 45 MINUTES while the music played on and on. (Question: Why did the power for the boats go out but not for the music? Discuss.) We sat in our little boat three feet from a closed door, to which we could have waded through the water. But the employees kept assuring us the ride would start "any minute."

To this day both of us have to leave the room when the "Small World" music manages to find its way in. My deepest condolences, Dave.

[M.C.]

The boats have halted.
We are all claustrophobic;
'...Small World, After All...'

Though I'm sure the boats are moving again by now, I'm also sure that waiting in line on the actual ride was much worse than waiting to get on. The boats have started moving again, right?

[djtonyb]

Another thing to ponder: The last time I visited (a few months ago), It's a Small World was closed for repairs. What, exactly, did they fix?

[Guin]

PeeJay -- the only "cold ones" available in TisneyTorld are $7.00 Coca Colas and $8.00 bottled water. It's non-alcoholic!

[PeeJay]

Okay Dave, no response. I have a sure-fired plan for your experience. Pick a ride, any ride. Start gawking and say, "Good Lord is that guy dead. (Crane your neck and be sure and look concerned) Then say, " I don't think it's suppossed to do that" At this point you suggest a different but "equally satisfying ride" for the kids. You now get "Unintentionally seperated "from the family. After a few hours of situating yourself you rush to their side to aid and comfort them. (Tic-tacs might help)

Just a thought:)

[djtonyb]

Guin - Don't I know it! Mom tricked Dad & myself into going to the Magic Kingdom last December. We'd have to pretend to go on a ride she didn't like...

"You're going on Space Mountain again?!?!?!"

*wait for Mom to enter gift shop*

*Dad & DJ run like hell for the Monorail to EPCOT*

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's time to EAT YOUR FACE!

[The Law Fairy]

Oh, Dave. I'm so sorry. My most enduringly terrifying fear is getting trapped on a Disney ride. I think the one that's always freaked me out the most is the Jungle Cruise. But, damn, Small World would be bad too. Really, any of those water rides. Those cherubic animatronic faces... shudder.

[Bubba]

It could be worse ... you could be outside in the heat waiting in line for a ride that is broken.

Cheers!

[Aunt Nancy]

Antidote for It's a Small World:

This is the song that doesn't end
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that doesn't end...
(on and on and so forth eternally)

Thanks to the late great Shari Lewis, and Lambchop

[Eleanor]

It's a small, small, small, small world

I knew I was a great mom when my son, returning from Euro Disney, phoned to tell me that the first ride he had gone on when he got there was Small World!

Shoot me! I love the music and all the little fake children - and it's cool, and soothing, and nothing jumps out to scare you! What's not to like????

However, I will say that having the boats stopped would certainly be unnerving!

Hope you're OK now, Dave! :)

[VictoriaE77]

Guin ~ No beer? But...how do you go to an amusement park with no beer? Is that legal?

Paramount's Kings Island! Bars! Lots of beer! That's an amusement park.

Oh, yeah, they have roller coasters and stuff too.

[VictoriaE77]

Guin ~ No beer? But...how do you go to an amusement park with no beer? Is that legal?

Paramount's Kings Island! Bars! Lots of beer! That's an amusement park.

Oh, yeah, they have roller coasters and stuff too.

[Candy Tutt]

About seventeen years ago at D'land I got stuck in the same GD ride...but there are worse options for ride malfunctions: The Skyway...

[West Side]

I'm not sure if I should be thanking all of you who posted the "It's a Small World" song or not, but I am glad that I finally got the national anthem out of my head. I've been singing that for months.

Too bad that I'll be singing "It's a Small World" from here on out...

"It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware..."

Make it stop!

[Aunt Nancy]

...some people started singing it...

Me: AAAAAAAARRRRGGGG!!!!!
Oldest Daughter: Mom, why is there ooze dribbling out of your ears?

[slowlayne]

It’s a world of mullet’s
A world of Cher
It’s a world of puns
And a world of beer
Those terr-o-rist bastards
Always give lots-o-laughters
It’s a blog world after all

Judi’s the goddess
Of all things blog
But then there’s Dave
And he sure is odd
And Ted’s poodle hair
Brings a lot to the fair
It’s a blog world after all!

It’s a blog world afer all
It’s a blog world after all
It’s a blog world after all,
It’s a blog, blog world!

[SledgeHammer!]

I believe that slowlayne has just penned the blog national anthem.

[djtonyb]

bravo, slowlayne! Long time no see here on the blog - miss your limerick skills and "Useless Word of the Day".

[PollyPI]

LOL, Laura! That was funny.

[PollyPI]

Dave,

BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!

(That was me laughing at your expense.)

[buba]

The Small World ride would be infinitely improved if they gave you, say, a bucket of softballs as you went in.

[VictoriaE77]

buba ~ Now I've got a picture of Dave in my head, winging softballs around in the ride.

All the kids in the ride think it's funny. Dave is so entertaining.

[Writer's Cramp]

After this experience is over...

Metallica (at least 4 hours worth)
one episode of Southpark might help
Then fall asleep listening to Bob Seger or Kansas

[VictoriaE77]

He shouldn't be standing in the boat like that, though. It's probably not safe.

[An Anonymous Fat Person]

Ok.... Just a small side note to whoever blogged earlier that if you have fat people ride in the front row of the ride the other people behind them get wetter...
One problem with that theory (I know from experience, that's why I'm anonymous) is that the weight brings the front of the ride down further in the water, and one of the reasons the right might get stalled is that it is apparently harder for the ride to grab onto the next section of track that it's suppose to slide onto.
And trust me, everyone figures out that it has something to do with the fat people up front.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my little debbie snack cake.

[Cheryl]

Just to add a little multicultural spin to this horror, As my daughter's Chinese Teacher would say:
Let's learn the song, please follow me.

you shi xiao sheng lang you shi lei fei yang
you she jing kong you shi shu chang
women liu lian wang fan,
hao shi jiang tong fen xiang
zai zhe xiao xiao shi jie shang.

Chorus:
zhe shi yi ge xiao shi jie,
zhe shi yi ge xiao shi jie,
zhe shi yi ge xiao shi jie,
zhe shi mei li di xiao shi jie!

Listen to a 5 year old singing this about 100 times and you may truly go insane! Good luck!

[Jessica R.]

Writer's Cramp,
Your solution sounds like an old SNL skit where Dan Ackroyd talks "down" a guy who is high, but he tells the guy to listen to the Allman Brothers. Did I get my geezer bus ticket yet?

[homeybeef]

damn, first a bad picture of dave is posted then his attempt at revenge fails and now he gets trapped in hell. Sorry dave, your trip really sucks. I think it's time you go on a mission with jack bauer and end it all. We'll understand

[djtonyb]

Jessica, there's always room for one more on the geezer bus. When you hop on, please wake up whoever's driving and tell them to turn off the turn signal. Thanks!

[Alex]

Go, slowlayne! That was awesome! :-)

[alanboss]

Great. Thanks Slowlane. I successfully avoidedd all the druel people who insisted on posting the Small World lyrics and thus avoided the ear worm. Then I had to stop and sing yours to myself. I now have to shoot myself.

[alanboss]

I meant "cruel." Maybe I'll just shoot my tiny little keyboard.

[Angie]

I'm alarmed! Dave's been in the ride for like, six hours (or seven.) Someone go after him!

[Brad]

Angie,

I just booked a plane ticket to Orlando. I'm sure that after this Aruba thing is over, Fox News can dedicate 4 weeks of O'Reilly, Hannity, the unaptly named Combs (if you saw his hair on the Aruban beach yesterday) and Gretta to finding Dave. Even if we have to put Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Donald Duck in jail for 3 weeks, we will find Dave, dead or alive. I just hope Goofy didn't take him to the beach tonight. That would be gross.

[alanboss]

Brad and Angie are right. We last heard from Dave at 5:22 PM. Nothing since. This is not good. I'm afraid the he may be "sleeping with Nemo," if you get my drift.

[SchadeBoy]

Dave,
Is it anything like your trip to the Blue Grotto in Italy? Remember?

"Ifa you sticka you hanna inna da wata, you hanna looka blue."

[LastWriter]

Okay, quick question. Is anyone else reminded of Jurrasic Park at all?

[LastWriter]

Okay, quick question. Is anyone else reminded of Jurrasic Park at all?

[Layla]

Has anyone actually heard from Dave, or is he still trapped in a boat of doom?

Also, if he's stuck in there for a very long time, will he grow a mullet?

[marlodianne]

Layla: It was the force of the mullet that trapped him there. It's a very dark force.

[b.d.]

He brought it on himself, really. He knew the risks going in.

[Dana]

Has anybody but me ever heard the Small World song and been kinda vaguely reminded of jackbooted Krauts marching under the Arc de Triomphe? It has a kind of aggressive stomp - stomp - stomp quality that doesn't seem to fit in very well with the intended warm fuzzy we're-all-pals theme of the ride.

[fort]

Duuude! What is it with that place? I was there a couple of weeks ago and the boats stopped on The Pirates of the Carribean ride for what seemed like HOURS.

[MzVette]

Mental Note To Self: Never, ever, on pain of death, go on the Pisney Porld ride, "its a small world" cause it will be a world of tears.

[Estelle Chauvelin]

I was stuck on Pirates of the Caribbean for a half an hour once. Deffinately better that It's a Small World, but we were stuck so long, they brought the lights up. The part where the pirates are auctioning off the women, and there's one saying something about "the one with the red hair"?

None of the women have red hair.

My guess is, either they used the same audio from the other park and forgot to make the scene match, or the one with the red hair needed replaced and they didn't realize the hair color needed to stay the same.

[Idle WarShip]

45 minutes... HAH!!
On a trip once, the girlfriend INSISTED that we ride that infernal thing. We got stuck in there for TWO HOURS!!!. 2 bloody, godawful, earpiercing, miserable, frightening, tragic hours.
People were on the verge of killing each other. I can't for the life of me figure out why they didn't get us out of there. I can only imagine that the Imagineer kept telling them, "No, no, we'll have it back up in a few more minutes..."

I'll NEVER go in that evil torture chamber again.
But they DID just revamp the thing. All new, digitally remastered audio. brighter, new colors and new features.
Nooooooooooo!!!!!

"No, no sweetheart, daddy can't go in there, and you don't want to either sweetie. Trust me it SCARY!"

[Mike]

Welcome to Dulac such a perfect townNow we have some rules let us lay them down.Don't make waves Stay in lineand we'll get along fine.  Dulac is a per-fect place.
Please keep off of the grassShine your shoes Wipe your...face.
Dulac is.. DULAC IS...Dulac is the per-fect plaaaaaaace!

[neatfreak]

Idle Warship, I think we need to start a support group for victims of Small World. S.W.E.A.R.: Small World: Exit And Run. We'd make a fortune. Great T-shirt, too.

[Josh]

Once got stuck in Spaceship Earth in Epcot for about half an hour. Know where your seats turn around 180 degrees so you're backwards, and you go down to ground level with the shooting stars above your head? That's where. Best nap-on-a-ride I've ever had in all my trips to the parks.

[Paul]

When we went to Disney a few years ago, my wife, her sister, her mother and I were on the boat in it's a Small World. My wife and her sister had as youths been subjected to the cruelest torture of all. When they were 9 and 3 (wife 9, sister 3) their mother and father had taken them to Disney on a rainy day and the park was bascally deserted, so they did it's a Small World 41 times in a row. So, when we showed up at Disney and were riding, the boat stopped. I had the video camera. I have film of my wife asking my sister-in-law "Where are we?" Sis: "Hell". Wife: "How'd we get here?" Sis: "Momma brought us!"

Paul

[jaws]

neatfreak, that would also be a GNFARB

[lobstersaver]

Just for the record, the Magic Kingdom is the only place you can't get beer. The other three parks sell it. Probably becuase after one day at MK, Disney can make lots of money off of all those people who really need a beer.

[John]

Dude, that happened to me once. Nearly drove me insane.

[mb]

Yeah, well, *I* know a verse of that song in French, courtesy of my elementary school, which believed in making every grade sing a verse of that song in French for the school program. There was not a dry eye in the audience. I mean, come on. A hundred schoolchildren screeching "It's a Small World" in seven languages???

[mb]

Notre mund et bien petit
C'est le mund un chaucon vit
Et mund que nu ravit
Et vre mund petit*

*Keep in mind I have never studied French, and this was drilled into me in 1988. This music teacher was the same one who had the school memorize and perform "We Didn't Start the Fire" in 1992. I still shudder when I hear that song.

[Jeff]

Dave,

Swim for it before it's too late!

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

What, no crapcam pics?