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June 20, 2005


If he's interested in a new career.

(Thanks to Sean)


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good to know that Ted and those of his ilk have options!

Is Ted ready to strangle you guys yet?


Dang! Not eine.

One hopes that narrow, cropped mustaches are still verboten.

And what the heck IS an ilk anyway?

Ich mag wirklich Ihren mullet. Sie sehen aus, wie Habte-Gabr Aufgeteet Hat!

(I really like your mullet. You look like Ted Habte-Gabr!)

I think I'm starting to feel sorry for Ted. He probably cries himself to sleep every night, since the blog started poking fun at his mullet. Or just since the google post.

JAG official: Gentlemen, you've all been charged with being AWOL, insubordination and conduct unbecoming of soldiers in the German Army. How do you plead?
Soldiers: Sir, we all have mullets.
JAG official: Case dismissed.

Meeräschen sind für Hockeyspieler. Ich liebe Hockeyspieler, folglich liebe ich Meeräschen. Meine Eltern sind deutsch, aber sie brachten mir, wie man bei nicht es spricht.

As a military memeber who really wants to get her nose pierced but realizes it will look less attractive if she has to wait until she is 43 and she can retire... I say... its about time!! Now if only the US would follow suit! Either that or I'm going to have to take a month of leave, hahaha. (as if that would happen)

When the Germans go for the Fourth Reich
Their hair can be styled as they like
So each Klaus, Dirk and Kurt
Will be coifed as 'Joe Dirt'
But it's under those hats with a spike!

Ted, dear, if it's a money issue keeping you from getting a hair cut, c'mon over to my house...my three year old just chopped off all her own hair, and would be happy to do yours for free! (free plus a cookie) Hey - it can't look any worse, right? (Pats Ted maternally on his sagging shoulders)

When does 24 come back with a new season?

Aunt Nancy - that page you want Ted to translate....snork.

I saw that taped to a BigIron console a couple of decades ago, right after one of the geeks let his toddler into the "machine room". Little guy walked over the the nice big red power button and pushed it. Bedlam would be a mild description.

Straight or curly locks,
Ted's confederate
flag waves behind his pickup

I don't know if Ted does, in fact, own a pick-up, but if the mullet fits...

Just what the soldier needs - a chance to go into hand-to-hand combat (in lice infested places) with a pony tail for the opponent to grab!

*hand raised* 'Scuse me...tell me again why we're picking on Tedbert? Mullet over and get back with me, Kay?

When the Dave Barry for President Hurtling Juggernaut of Doom passes thru one of our fair states, we really ought to do a mullet intervention on Ted, and film it.

Mul-lou-et-te, Habte Mul-lou-et-te
Mul-lou-et-te, ease off the Rogaine.
Ease off the Rogaine, my Ted,
Ease off the Rogaine, my Ted,
SuperCuts, SuperCuts, OH!
Mul-lou-et-te, Habte Mul-lou-et-te
Mul-lou-et-te, ease off the Rogaine.

Bravo Lou!

I think Ted likes all this attention. If he didn't, he'd cut his hair into a non-mullet hairstyle, have Dave post it and that would be the end of the story!!
But he hasn't so.........?
Maybe Ted's doing a good deed and won't cut his hair until the next season of 24 begins - unless someone can come up with another continuing saga!!!

Anyone? Anyone?? Bueller???

Lou Bricant, Lou Brilliant!

Das ist sehr gut!

MzVette: I haven't seen you, but I would be willing to bet that you'll look less attractive if you get it done, period. Plus more gross.

Yea, though I walk through
the valley of trailer parks,
my brewsky gets warm

what makes anybody think that if ted changed his hair this blog would leave him alone? and lovel, mr. bricant. bwahhha.

It all started back around Christmas of '03 ....Ted was trying to help out in the kitchen so he asked his wife , " Honey what do you want me to do with this box of wine ? " And she replied , " Cut it with the scissors and mull it ." ....Oh fateful day ..

Dear Ted,

I love your mullet. Here's a poem, an ode if you will, to my brave mullet.

Lonely as a lily in a pond, waiting for a gentle breeze to shift
emotions and tantilize my innermost......to carry my passions away
from this acute desolate life of bliss.
No time is longer then I wait......A wish for love seems so far....
Sensitively I age in silence......dealing with the inevitable of not
knowing the meaning of a racing heart, a loving smile, a warm caress..
In the moments of a dream I yearn for that sacred vow......the eternal
bond......or am I to always be a lonely lily in a pond.

E. Humperdinck

I'm sorry, maybe I missed it.
Ted has a career?

Well, Ted, if you didn't get the job because of your mullet, you could always join the German Army. Gantz kool, ja? At least people there wouldn't make fun of your mullet, and that probably would be gantz kool, as far as you're concerned. As for us here at the blog wrecking your social life, since you have a mullet, you probably didn't have a social life anyway outside of listening to '80s hair bands, drinking Jaegermeister *obligatory hornk at the very thought, and might I add EEEEWWW* and wearing clothing too tacky for words.
Since you've been such a good sport about all of the shameless and relentless mocking of your unfortunate hairstyle, I'm going to give you some makeover tips to help you avoid any further ridicule. I, for one, promise to stop ridiculing your mullet if you change it to something better. *has not crossed her fingers* Here's what I think you should do:
Chop off the back of your hair, ridding yourself of the odious mullet, and then let your hair grow out a bit all over. Do _not_ trim the front and sides shorter than the back! Also, _please_ omit the axle grease, it's so '80s. Try a lightweight styling spray made specifically for curly hair like Nexxus' Retexxtur. Presto, attractive non-mullet hairstyle!

Jamester, *snork*

Lou! C'est fantastique!!

Poor Ted.

Just when he thought he was out, they pull him back in again.

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