BREAKING NEWS HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Thomas McNulty)

Comments

[queensbee]

OMG!! I had no idea. guess i'm first. I read somewhere that poor people have less money than rich people... that must be a NEWS FLASH TOO!
duh.

[igloo]

Boring!
No Boogers, exploding toilets, snakes in pants.
Surely, Mysore hasn't shut down.

[Falconer]

Was this news delivered via pony express?

[reneviht]

Then along came the Internet, and an experimental browser called Mosaic, followed by an improved browser from Netscape. And if you had a computer, you discovered a new way to this cool, new thing called the World Wide WebMosaic users who didn't have computers had to connect by attaching pieces of tile to the wall until they got the information they wanted. With a computer and a modem, however, you could achieve this information almost twice as fast.

[�LabSpecimen�]

What's this internet thing I keep hearing about?

[jamester]

Soon, with Dave and Judi's assistance, the computer will measurably enhance work productivity!

[Al Gore]

You are all welcome.

[Eleanor]

*zips in on high speed*

*snork*

*zips out* the way we do here in su.so.ca.

[qetzal]

"Back then, most Americans still had to lick a stamp to send mail."

Wait. You mean, the internet will lick my thtampth for me now? That'th great, cauthe I'm thick of the way it maketh my tongue feel.

[insomniac]

I'm old enough to remember the door-to-door spammers with their satchels bulging with baldness cures, porn, and male enhancement products. And, honestly, wasn't it a family occasion when the exiled African dictators showed up to give you money? Ah, good times....

[Sondra]

Where have they Been??!?? The internet has been around for Months!!!!!

[�LabSpecimen�]

Sondra: *snork*!

[Eleanor]

*zips in pouting* :(

Lab!!! - that's exactly what I was going to say to Sondra - hmmmph - and I thought it was soooo original!!!

[Kilmeny]

Does this mean I can give up my abacus and rotary phone?

[Sondra]

*bowing*

Gracias! Gracias!

[Tweety]

I tought I taw a puddy-tat. But it might have been a qetzal.

[Jane Curtain]

In other news ...
Medical Discovery - Oxygen plays vital role in respiration
Investigative Report - Sherlock Holmes is said to finally sh1t, putting to rest the nickname which has plagued him since childhood, "No Sh1t Sherlock."
In Journalism, the world is stunned to hear that humor columnist Dave Barry, on hiatus, used to be more funny than he is now.

[Jane Curtain]

In other news ...
Medical Discovery - Oxygen plays vital role in respiration
Investigative Report - Sherlock Holmes is said to finally sh1t, putting to rest the nickname which has plagued him since childhood, "No Sh1t Sherlock."
In Journalism, the world is stunned to hear that humor columnist Dave Barry, on hiatus, used to be more funny than he is now.

[Eleanor]

Very good, Jane C.! And let's not forget how the recent invention of the wheel has made transportation so much easier!

[Eleanor]

....And eliminated the need for for the song These Boots Were Made For Walking

Major life wish: To be able to finish a complete thought in one post. :(

[Tamara]

Klynn/Al Gore & Insom: *SNORK!!*

[kibby F5�]

Even on vacation, they can log onto the Web to keep up with news from their hometown paper or TV station, and stay connected with friends and family.

WHAT!? Isn't that what vacations are supposed to get away from!?

hang on, tides coming up and I need to move the towel a little, hope I still get a good connection....

[LadyBug]

Innernet, huh? That's really sumpin'.

Purty soon, Ah bet sumbody's gonna invent a INDOOR FAR so's we don't have to keep buildin' one in the yard ever night when we's cookin' the possum fer supper!

[Candy Tutt]

Reminds me of the bumper sticker I saw this morning:

"Television promots literacy"

[Stupendous Man]

I still miss (sound of William Tell Overture in background) "those golden days of yesteryear when everything didn't cost a hearty pile of silver!" (End Overture.) I also miss standing in line at the Post Office to buy a book of stamps and licking them all right there and then so they'd be ready when I needed them.

[alanboss]

This internet thing is just a fad.

[U.O]

Who is this "Al Gore" and why should I care?

El/Sondra ... LOL! Esp. luv the photo fo the freeway!!! And, the "months"!!!

[U.O]

(Just 'cuz I said that, does NOT mean I voted for Dubya ... either time.)

[will]

I like this one:
"The faster Web makes it much easier for people to watch audio, listen to video and share files."
I, personally, use the 'faster web' to watch video and listen to audio, but what do I know?

[Stev0]

I refuse to ever use the internet.