AN OUTRAGE

This is ridiculous. Miami is number four? NUMBER FOUR?? Yes, Phoenix, Las Vegas and Tucson are hot. But -- as the residents of these cities are always pointing out -- it's a dry heat. Whereas Miami is a WET heat, which makes it a much sweatier city.

Q. How sweaty is it?

A. Our statues have armpit stains.

(Thanks for the link to Jess Rigdon)

Comments

[Aunt Nancy]

Since you live there, you have every right to rant.

Let it out, Dave. We feel for you.

[Mark]

Atlanta is not even on the list, which proves how dubious the rankings are...

[VictoriaE77]

How do you measure the sweaty-ness of a city? The ratio of anti-perspirant sales to people? How do you factor in the heat? Or the humidity?

[Countess]

You were 10th in 2002...it seems you are getting sweatier by the year...don't worry, you'll be #1 soon.

[Mark]

My bad: Atlanta IS on the list, at No. 31. That's still dubiously low. The last time I visited Atlanta I had to burn my clothes when I got home.

[igloo]

Hah! Mark here in Raleigh our clothes are too wet to burn!

[bilge]

DC should be hirer. That is, if you take into account all the tourists, not realizing that it was built on a swamp and is as humid as the jungles of Vietnam in the summer, who don't know how to dress properly for walking 600 miles in the tree-less city.

[Aunt Nancy]

First, let me apologize for my lame post...but I was FIRST for the first time. I couldn't resist trying. *does happy dance*

Second, I agree that the ratings are dubious, because Phoenix, Las Vegas and Tucson are all in the desert. The nights cool off fast in the dry desert air, whereas in Miami, it never cools off, except maybe briefly after a rainstorm. (But its still humid.) Also, people in those desert towns can escape to the mountains, where its cooler and there are no sharks. Miami residents only have the ocean to cool off in, which of course is Shark Heaven. Something is very, very wrong with this survey.

[bilge]

DC should be higher. That is if you take into account the tourists who, not realizing that it was built on a swamp and is therefore as humid as the jungles of Vietnam in the summer, don't know how to dress for walking 600 miles in the tree-less city.

[D'Artagnan]

I tried to find the link to Jess Rigdon but had no success.

[M.C.]

The ratings are obviously slanted.

I agree, Dave. You can't sweat where there's no water.

[bilge]

damn! Didn't catch it in time to correct my ugly spelling error. Sorry!

[Christobol]

Here's a question: Can you imagine how fat the fat people of Miami would be if they moved to a climate where you didn't sweat 24 hours a day?

That would be a fun question to ask them. Why don't you do that and write a column about it, Dave?

[Tamara]

Hello, I'm from Texas, and I now live in Georgia. Georgia is humid, but shady. Central tree-less Texas is hotter, drier, uglier--and friendlier and better than Georgia in every way. Thank you.

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Hmmm... L.A. is getting hotter. They were 47 in 2002, then fell into a slump the next two years and dropped to 94. But this year, they're up to 62.

[Chris]

NOT ONE CITY in Texas is in the top four! WHO IS WRITING THESE SURVEYS?!?!?!?!?!?

Sorry for all the caps. I was just so angry at that, I needed to vent my anger somehow.

[Cynthia]

san diego #96...yeah, breezy is nice, but dry air drys the skin and hair to a fine parchment. lot to be said for humidity.

last count on moisturizer bottles...126 and a one third.

[Guin]

As a person who sweats, and one who went to college in New Orleans for four years, I can testify that in those four years, I went through more antiperspirant than the Women's NBA. Those ratings are WAY off.

[Crabby Appleton]

I am sad to say that my work has taken me to every single one of the Top 66 sweatiest cities. If you stay in New Orleans for more than a week in July, you actually begin to show signs of budding gills. However, the hottest I have ever been, hands down, is riding the subway in Atlanta during the '96 Olympics wedged between two wool-wearing, deodorant eschewing Germans, who smelled like damp musk oxen. I give a tip of the hat to Houston in July as well, where the air actually sweats water.

[Crabby Appleton]

My apologies to any Germans I may have offended. Having also travelled in Germany, I can happily report, that they are generally a cheerful, industrious, minty fresh group of people. I am just saying that leather pants and tweed coats in Georgia in July can have some serious stank no matter what nationality is wearing them.

[qetzal]

I lived in Houston for many years, and now in Atlanta for almost 2.

So far, I'll take Atlanta's summer over Houston's every time. Not as hot, not as humid, more breeze. (Course, relative to Houston, any breeze is more breeze.)

[Federal Duck]

Curses and Begorrah! Memphis beat us again.

Oh, you mean they sweat more than us? I thought we were comparing penises again.

[SchadeBoy]

I live exactly 75.3467983 miles southeast of Tucson. First of all, I can honeslty say that I'm so proud of my little Ol' Pueblo to be ranked on this list (pun intended).

Second, as a person who has lived in Arizona for all of my 36.67 years, I can tell you that it ain't as dry out here as you may think! We get temperatures that easily break 110 almost every year, and when the monsoon hits in July and August, let me tell you it gets plenty wet (though lately we've been in a bit of a drought). Escaping to the mountains is not as easy as it sounds. We may not have sharks, but we got bob cats and black bears. Not to mention the occassional illegal alien.

I am somewhat surprised to see that LA is on the list. According to the movie LA Story, which we all know is so incredibly accurate, it stays 75 degrees all year 'round.

[igloo]

Ft. Wolters, Tx, was as hot as 400 Hells. I'd rather take a beating with a wet rope than return to that oven.

[U.O]

When I was in college I learned a neat little item of trivia from history ...

In the 18th and/or 19th centuries, the British Foreign Service offered "climate pay" for only two locations in the world ...

One was India ...

The other was ... St. Louis, MO ... #49 on the list.

One other question ...

Barrow, Alaska?

[Jessica R.]

I am here Dart, but I am not sure why Dave changed my "blog identity".

Is anyone else getting email that appears to be from roadrunner, but states "your services near to be closed" in the subject line?

[Aunt Nancy]

Boy, this survey is really hosed. They have Des Moines, Iowa ranked 52nd, 64th and 73rd. Davenport, Iowa is ranked 61st, and Cedar Rapids, Iowa is ranked 62nd and 92nd. How did these cities get multiple rankings? How did they get ranked at all, given that seven months out of the year its colder than all get out here? The only exception is the January of any presidential election year when Iowa hosts the Caucases (a.k.a. the Carcasses, when the vultures come here to feed). Then everybody sweats.

There is something waaaaay wrong going on here.

[U.O]

Jessica R. --

Not exactly, but sorta ... not from roadrunner, but I've gotten a few weird ones in the last week or so, one was even from my main (preferred) mailbox owner, saying "My membership privileges were suspended, for violation of ..." whatever it says in rules and regs when you sign up ...

I exchanged emails with customer service, and they din't send it ...

THEREFORE, it is relatively safe to assume that someone is out there, lifting email addys and misusing them, in various nefarious ways (say that three times, real fast) (THATTHATTHAT) in an attempt to get you to click on and beg for trouble ...

Let's be very careful out there ...

[U.O]

Jessica R. --

Not exactly, but sorta ... not from roadrunner, but I've gotten a few weird ones in the last week or so, one was even from my main (preferred) mailbox owner, saying "My membership privileges were suspended, for violation of ..." whatever it says in rules and regs when you sign up ...

I exchanged emails with customer service, and they din't send it ...

THEREFORE, it is relatively safe to assume that someone is out there, lifting email addys and misusing them, in various nefarious ways (say that three times, real fast) (THATTHATTHAT) in an attempt to get you to click on and beg for trouble ...

Let's be very careful out there ...

(If this double posts, it's 'cuz it's too hot here, and the town I'm in din't even get rated!)

[U.O]

See!

Told ya!

(Of course, the second one is technically NOT a double, 'cuz I added the disclaimer ... but my point remains relevant ... as if relevancy has anything to do with this blog ...)

[#3?]

hey SchadeBoy ..... I think we're neighbors. I live 74.87654 miles southeast of tucson! you forgot to mention our coyotes, which recently dined on one of my cats, and the bears that won't stay out of town!

>

[technadodo]

(ahem)
may i highly recommend Norton Industrial Strengh
it's a bit of a pain to have to re-whatever everything but totally worth it.

(this comes from someone who swatted, shot, and clicked with wanton abandon.)

[Sondra]

In the 40-some-odd years that I lived in Houston, the lowest the humidity ever got was 63 per cent. (Houston was also built on a swamp.)

In the summer (8 months of the year) they have "95/95 days." This means the temp and humidity are both 95.

It's announced on the rado as the forecast for the day. "It's gonna be another 95/95 day today, so stay inside as much as possible."

[Joe Malin]

San Francisco is *on* the list!?

[Desert Rose]

I can't believe San Francisco is on the list at all. Northern California is freezing cold _all_ the time. I go out to visit family several times a year, and the only time it gets to 75 degrees it's summer _and_ the middle of the day. I'm not surprised Des Moines is on the list- Old Spice should sponsor them- they're the armpit of the midwest, and not just because they don't like us.
As for Cedar Rapids (and not Iowa City? Duh.)being on the list, I agree that it's cold enough to freeze a polar bear to an iceberg in the winter, and we only have 4 months of summer, however, it's _so_ humid here (an average of 70%) that even if it's only in the mid-80s to low 90s, it's just like a swedish sauna outside for 3 months.