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May 25, 2005


Now they're using plastic penises.

(Thanks to everybody in the world)


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I always find it imperative for my plastic penises to be "Construction Grade"

My package has never been described as suspicious, at least not to my knowledge.

Deputies arrived and alerted the bomb squad, which used a robot to dismantle the object so a bomb technician could better examine it.

Speaking from the "straight male" perspective, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be the aformentioned technician.

Are we SURE it is a plastic penis? After all, apparently there are Cambodian and Thai men missing their... ahem... attachments...

Other notable quotes:

Ferrante later spoke with a member of the bomb squad who described it in more detail.

The "more detail" turned out to be the exact same description mentioned in the preceding paragraph, only with the added information that "it was not detected until the suspicious package was removed." This is reporting at its finest, folks!

The object was more than a foot long...

So...this was not an accurate recreation, then?

exploding plastic dinkies wbagnfarb

It goes without comment,(although Im commenting)that this happened in South Florida.
Of course, this device was not a booby trap. If it had been a booby trap it would have been in the shape of an Ipex Bra.

"Whoa, talk about a c*ck block!"

(Overheard in my office this morning.)

...a "member" of the bomb squad? Ohmigod, it talks!

But mostly, all it says is "More!"

Hmmm... methinks we're dealing with a couple of euphemisms here. "Prosthetic penis" ... "foot-long" ... does that combination of words remind anybody else of a device seen in public primarily in low-budget porn flicks?

Doesn't the Weinermobile fall under the "construction grade plastic penis shaped" description??? Just saying, is all.

Somebody molded it to look like a penis

The thing was molded? Is that anything like mildewed? And who would want a molded penis, anyway? EEEEWWWW!!!!

"Noiw they're using ..." a spell checker?

I OBJECT!!! Dave, just how can you prove everyone in the world sent this to you? I, for one, did not. I demand you retract that statement.

hehehe, I said "retract"

A friend of mine thought it would be funny to wrap a prosthetic penis in tin foil, tuck into his newly married buddy's wife's travel bag, and let the fun begin once the happy couple reached the airport. Evidently the screeners found its asparagus-like shape mysterious and sounded a bit of an alarm. The newlyweds spent the next five minutes blaming each other.

Rich - That's sounds like the cucumber bit from "This is Spinal Tap."

As a father myself I can tell you that is about the worst gift ever!

Typical Florida driving...

Another d*ck holding up traffic.

Imperatine Construction Grade Penis wbagnfarb

(Aside: I really don't mind too much, typing wbagnfarb ... it's pretty much all with the left hand, as "nomal" ... and the way I learned to type ... are there any more words out there that would simplify my blogging? If so, please confine your submissions to subjects that can be commented upon, using only these words ... TYVM ...)


That should be Imperative ...


Funny how a thread a couple of days ago digressed into a discussion about strap-ons and now Dave posts a story about plastic penises. Don't tell me these bloglits aren't ahead of their (not there) time.

The object was more than a foot long...

Obviously built by a woman........

As the saying goes....

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride

miss raymond: LOL

Yay!! Dave finally posted on of my submissions! WoooHooo!!!

Where's my prize?

Brainy: 'Tap no doubt served as inspiration.

Brainy: 'Tap no doubt served as inspiration.

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