NEWS
Reuters officially joins the Headline of the Day club.
(Thanks to many alert readers)
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May 26, 2005
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What's next? Taxing prostitution?!
Posted by: Marvin | Paranoid Android | May 26, 2005 at 10:43 AM
There's goes my 500 kronar a day....
Damn penny pinchers...
Posted by: Higgy | May 26, 2005 at 10:56 AM
would that be an incum tax?
Posted by: ED | May 26, 2005 at 10:57 AM
Tax collecting has always been a pretty crappy job, but man!
Posted by: Christobol | May 26, 2005 at 11:05 AM
It would be a sin tax, of course.
Posted by: Lairbo | May 26, 2005 at 11:06 AM
it's not that taxing an occupation...
shouldn't these guys get an exemption ? they're helping to create new taxpayers, aren't they?
Posted by: insomniac | May 26, 2005 at 11:10 AM
What is next? Will they have to track them down for child support?
Posted by: JB | May 26, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Will they be metering out the flow? And if they meter is, will they use a Peter Meter?
Posted by: igloo | May 26, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Cryos receives between 30-60 donors a day
30-60 men slappin' the salami per day? I do not want to see that bathroom!
Posted by: Schadeboy | May 26, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Well, insomniac I guess that would depend on which country the new taxpayer ends up in!
They can waste taxpayers money tracking the new ones.
Posted by: JB | May 26, 2005 at 11:13 AM
Cool! I emailed that article to Dave Barry yesterday, twice!
What's sperm doing in a bank anyways, collecting interest?
Posted by: Rockchild | May 26, 2005 at 11:18 AM
What is the penalty for early withdrawl?
Posted by: Lou Bricant | May 26, 2005 at 11:23 AM
Average 45 donors per day x 365 days per year = 16,425 possible pregnancies. Only 1,000 average pregnancies per year = 6% success rate. Is that good? Sounds like they are doing more than looking at girlie mags when they're donating.
Posted by: Renee | May 26, 2005 at 11:27 AM
I don't know Lou Bricant, I'll ask my big brother since he has an account.
Posted by: Rockchild | May 26, 2005 at 11:31 AM
Forget about early withdrawal...it's the PREMATURE DEPOSITS that frustrate ME.
Posted by: Monica's Mullett | May 26, 2005 at 11:33 AM
Young Danes who are wanting a buyer
For their output from 'twanging the wire'
Are taxed per deposit
It'll raise funds, because it
Is something of which they'll never tire!
Posted by: insomniac | May 26, 2005 at 11:35 AM
What if I have a resale license?
Posted by: Master Chief | May 26, 2005 at 11:36 AM
do these banks have tellers?
do they sit behind glass windows?
what abt ATM services?
*imagines women taking out er...stuff...from ATM machines*
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles | May 26, 2005 at 11:39 AM
Premature deposits add up after a while, so my big brother must have a big account! I wonder what he's gona buy with it after he withdrawls it all?
Posted by: Rockchild | May 26, 2005 at 11:39 AM
This is undoubtedly a sticky situation.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | May 26, 2005 at 11:54 AM
Denmark, with the world's highest income tax levels...
Good grief, these guys are really getting shafted!
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | May 26, 2005 at 11:55 AM
world's biggest sperm bank may soon run dry
I hate it when that happens! *snork*
Good one, insom :)
Posted by: Eleanor | May 26, 2005 at 12:02 PM
Bangi_Sizzles: of COURSE they sit behind glass windows. Wouldn't YOU?
Posted by: Gary | May 26, 2005 at 12:05 PM
But do they give you a lollipop after you've made a deposit?
Maybe a cigarette instead.
Posted by: Reluctant Floridian | May 26, 2005 at 12:08 PM
To help with the process, the bank might offer you an adjustable ARM at a very low rate.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | May 26, 2005 at 12:12 PM
I wonder if the sperm banks give loans, but what do they do with it when they get it back?
Posted by: Rockchild | May 26, 2005 at 12:35 PM
Didn't Monty Python address this with their (not there) song, "Every Sperm is Taxable?"
Maybe not.
Posted by: alanboss | May 26, 2005 at 02:19 PM
"sperm bank donor" = "damn pork boners"
Posted by: I miss Raymond already | May 26, 2005 at 02:25 PM
I bet they have high interest rates.
When police donate they are "lone officers."
Imagine the president of the bank: "Mom, I'm a bank president!"
"Oh really, what bank?"
"Uhm...how's dad?"
Posted by: Robert | May 26, 2005 at 02:46 PM
Hello! I am Prince Buto!
I am having heard that under new laws you may be taxed for your sacred seed which is in the purpose for making children! This outrageous act of government is in direct conflict to God's Holy Law and may be avoid only by sending your sperm directly to offshore tax-free accounts in Liberia.
My government allows up to twelve donations per annual year to be sheltered in completely tax-free sperm savings account. No hidden fees! No minimum balance! Just send in your holy sperm sample in double zip-lock plastic bag (freezer bag is best), along with major credit card number for verification to Prince Buto at the address I shall send by Email. In return, you will receive two small Liberian children and patented fishwhistle!
Please take advantage of limited-time offer now!
Posted by: Prince Buto | May 26, 2005 at 02:49 PM
Nice try, Sabu... ;-)
Posted by: Master Chief | May 26, 2005 at 03:02 PM
"sperm bank donors" = "spank boner rods"
Posted by: Renee | May 26, 2005 at 03:17 PM
gary,
lol at the Onion report.
hadda be in Ark.
Posted by: wowser | May 26, 2005 at 03:45 PM
Every time you masturbate, God takes away one of your stuffed animals in Heaven.
Posted by: Sabu The Coconut Boy | May 26, 2005 at 04:51 PM
"Sperm Danish" comes to mind.
*inadvertent use of the word "come"*
Posted by: slyeyes | May 26, 2005 at 06:17 PM
I'm really more interested in the sidebar, "Viagra patients experience blindness."
Maybe it's an indirect result of donating to THE BANK...
Posted by: Candy Tutt | May 27, 2005 at 07:41 AM
nzwr zcnmiwhy ucadi xgwdezlj rloxzs ixplak wldm
Posted by: smnbk yicsdqm | January 13, 2007 at 11:51 AM