CANADA: LAND OF PEOPLE WHO DREAM BIG DREAMS

This item makes us wonder if maybe somebody we know should play the lottery.

Update: Ted Habte-Gabr, who is hypersensitive and paranoid and has therefore concluded that this post is somehow about him, sends the following rebuttal statement, quote:"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA."

Also, in a transparent effort to divert this blog's attention from his mullet hairstyle, Ted adds:

"Moving on and focusing on the issues and the continuing sorry state and global decline in moral values:.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/5/26/nation/11050727&sec=nation

Update: UH-oh.

Comments

[snif]

gulp...

[igloo]

Dave,
I hope you and Ted Hadv-ahtbe-GargleSMITH can work out your differences. After all, William Jefferson Clinton and Al (Internet Inventor)Gore have smoked the Peace Pipe (not sure what they used for tobacco). It is not entirely Ted ****-**** fault that you lost the 2000 contest.

[Reddsuss]

But since Ted can afford a so-called "stylist", maybe he should just see a barber. Or Jim Blondeau.

[long tall texan]

heck, I'll cut that mullet off for free!

[queensbee]

that's a lotta haircuts. they kinda have lower expectations up there dont they, eh?

[igloo]

"I cut my own hair all my life with a little comb."
Those Canadians are so resourceful. I've never had any luck with just a comb. Always needed scissors. Canada (POP. 600 nanometers) must be a country made entirely made up of McGivers.

[insomniac]

"... look at Jim, gettin' all high and mighty, I hear he gets his hair cut professionally now. Having the Mrs. take a Weed-Whacker to his head not good enough for him, I bet."

[Somewhere North]

Sigh.... Yes, Canada has rednecks too. Of course, we have a significantly smaller population of MULLETS among our rednecks. Even if we have to cut our hair ourselves, we still CUT IT.

[Federal Duck]

Guys, come on. This is obviously a joke. You know they don't have professional hair stylists in Canadia. I hear they mostly use badgers and sharpened rocks.

[Somewhere North]

Oh, and our heterosexual men would not be caught dead going to a "stylist" for their hair.

Again, these facts should be taken as cultural differences and I am certainly not implying anything about Ted's mullet... er, hairstyle.

[Somewhere North]

Fed - our badgers eat ducks... Just a thought.

[igloo]

"At first, I thought he was a die-hard Star Wars fan "
If the women had caught him, he certainly would have died hard.

[Somewhere North]

I still don't understand why any woman would scream at the sight of this. Last time a guy did this to me I just pointed out that that sorry thing was nothing to be proud of and if I were him, I'd hide my disfigurements.

He left quite suddenly after that.... Come to think of it, maybe that explains the rash of penii amputations...

[Kilmeny]

Somewhere North:

The LAST time?

[teachmiami]

Star Wars pick up line, "Hey babe, wanna see my light saber?"

[Somewhere North]

Well Kilmeny... we do have long cold winters. Once our men get out sometimes they get a little carried away...

Depending on how they look, it can be a good thing.

[Trystan Shout]

Re: Darth Vadar the Flasher --

"When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off..."

If the women had giggled, pointed and squinted, asking for a magnifying glass, he would have left even faster!

[Trystan Shout]

Re: Darth Vadar the Flasher --

"When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off..."

If the women had giggled, pointed and squinted, asking for a magnifying glass, he would have left even faster!

[insomniac]

To dress up as the Lord of the Sith
Your 'saber' needs length, girth, and width.
Flashing as Annakin
when hung like a mannequin,
Will not make you a creature of myth!

[slyeyes]

Kudos to the sleepless one!!

[jamie the star wars nerdgirl]

if it was a full darth vader suit, it'd be mighty hard to flash someone, let alone run away quickly. just a thought.

by the way, got interviewed by an orlando news station while waiting in line for episode iii...while wearing my boyfriend's jedi robe...

reporter: "so why are these people waiting in line?"

me: "uh...to get good seats?"

[Bismuth]

s-s-sciss-ssors

cut!

BLOOD! SPURT! huhnggghhhhhh!

...

I never wanted to be a barber...

[«LabSpecimen»]

... I always wanted to be ...

[Balanchine]

Insom: beautiful.

[I miss Raymond already]

A LUMBERJACK!!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Darth Vader: *Flash*
Women : *giggle*, *squint* *point*
Darth Vader : I am your father
Women : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Christobol]

"I told you that was a stupid guarantee!"

"Shut up."

"No, you had to say You'll like your haircut or you can stab us both in the chest!. What's wrong with Or your money back I says? Shut up! Says you."

"Shut up."

[«LabSpecimen»]

Thanks, IMRA, I thought I was gonna be left hangin'.

[D'Artagnan]

"Thanks, Hank. I comes out looking like a champ every time. Well wort the $3."
"Uhhh, that's not a mirror, it's a picture of Ted something-something."
"Can I see? I's gotta see."
"Look over here."
"G-d d-mn, dog, you been drinkin'?"
"Whaddaya think I am, a stylist or sumpin'?"
*stab* *stab* *stab*

[I miss Raymond already]

Lab - I would have gone into the song, but my father burst into the room and screamed "NO SINGING".

[I miss Raymond already]

Canadian Barber: There you go, you're all set.

Customer: Hey, it looks great. What do I owe you?

Canadain Barber: That will be 8.4 million dollars.

Customer: Damn Supercuts! I should have gone to Regularcuts.

[M.C.]

Apparently Darth Vader isn't the only Star Wars cast member who likes to get dirty.

Did no one involved in the brainstorming of this project see the what's so funny about putting Sammy L. in a movie entitled "Black Snake Moan"?

Key excerpt: The film is about a white nymphomaniac who must be cured of her disorder by an older black bluesman.

O, the horror. And what would happen if she weren't cured?

[Brainy Jello]

M.C. - The trick is to just keep trying.

[Schadeboy]

Regarding the Darth Vader flasher:

"So, you have the ring! And I see that your shwartz is as big as mine! Now let's see if you know how to handle it!"

[ceeg22]

A. What are the Darth Vader posts doing in the haircut discussion? And,

2. I can't tell you how relieved I am to read that this guy isn't going to get snotty about his professional barber haircut.

C. I also thought of Ted while reading about this guy's wish for a real barber...

[ceeg22]

oops, forget my 2., I wasn't fully paying attention. I got distracted by the idea of buying a hockey tean...

[Ted's Mom]

Has anyone here heard from Ted recently? He was supposed to be back from North Carolina yesterday, and nobody answers his phone! I'm getting worried, but he never calls, he never writes...