CANADA: LAND OF PEOPLE WHO DREAM BIG DREAMS
This item makes us wonder if maybe somebody we know should play the lottery.
Update: Ted Habte-Gabr, who is hypersensitive and paranoid and has therefore concluded that this post is somehow about him, sends the following rebuttal statement, quote:"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA."
Also, in a transparent effort to divert this blog's attention from his mullet hairstyle, Ted adds:
"Moving on and focusing on the issues and the continuing sorry state and global decline in moral values:.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/5/26/nation/11050727&sec=nation
Update: UH-oh.
gulp...
Posted by: snif | May 27, 2005 at 04:54 AM
Dave,
I hope you and Ted Hadv-ahtbe-GargleSMITH can work out your differences. After all, William Jefferson Clinton and Al (Internet Inventor)Gore have smoked the Peace Pipe (not sure what they used for tobacco). It is not entirely Ted ****-**** fault that you lost the 2000 contest.
Posted by: igloo | May 27, 2005 at 04:56 AM
But since Ted can afford a so-called "stylist", maybe he should just see a barber. Or Jim Blondeau.
Posted by: Reddsuss | May 27, 2005 at 05:09 AM
heck, I'll cut that mullet off for free!
Posted by: long tall texan | May 27, 2005 at 05:12 AM
that's a lotta haircuts. they kinda have lower expectations up there dont they, eh?
Posted by: queensbee | May 27, 2005 at 05:12 AM
"I cut my own hair all my life with a little comb."
Those Canadians are so resourceful. I've never had any luck with just a comb. Always needed scissors. Canada (POP. 600 nanometers) must be a country made entirely made up of McGivers.
Posted by: igloo | May 27, 2005 at 05:13 AM
"... look at Jim, gettin' all high and mighty, I hear he gets his hair cut professionally now. Having the Mrs. take a Weed-Whacker to his head not good enough for him, I bet."
Posted by: insomniac | May 27, 2005 at 05:14 AM
Sigh.... Yes, Canada has rednecks too. Of course, we have a significantly smaller population of MULLETS among our rednecks. Even if we have to cut our hair ourselves, we still CUT IT.
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 27, 2005 at 05:34 AM
Guys, come on. This is obviously a joke. You know they don't have professional hair stylists in Canadia. I hear they mostly use badgers and sharpened rocks.
Posted by: Federal Duck | May 27, 2005 at 05:35 AM
Oh, and our heterosexual men would not be caught dead going to a "stylist" for their hair.
Again, these facts should be taken as cultural differences and I am certainly not implying anything about Ted's mullet... er, hairstyle.
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 27, 2005 at 05:36 AM
Fed - our badgers eat ducks... Just a thought.
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 27, 2005 at 05:39 AM
"At first, I thought he was a die-hard Star Wars fan "
If the women had caught him, he certainly would have died hard.
Posted by: igloo | May 27, 2005 at 05:40 AM
I still don't understand why any woman would scream at the sight of this. Last time a guy did this to me I just pointed out that that sorry thing was nothing to be proud of and if I were him, I'd hide my disfigurements.
He left quite suddenly after that.... Come to think of it, maybe that explains the rash of penii amputations...
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 27, 2005 at 05:46 AM
Somewhere North:
The LAST time?
Posted by: Kilmeny | May 27, 2005 at 05:50 AM
Star Wars pick up line, "Hey babe, wanna see my light saber?"
Posted by: teachmiami | May 27, 2005 at 05:50 AM
Well Kilmeny... we do have long cold winters. Once our men get out sometimes they get a little carried away...
Depending on how they look, it can be a good thing.
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 27, 2005 at 05:53 AM
Re: Darth Vadar the Flasher --
"When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off..."
If the women had giggled, pointed and squinted, asking for a magnifying glass, he would have left even faster!
Posted by: Trystan Shout | May 27, 2005 at 06:03 AM
Re: Darth Vadar the Flasher --
"When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off..."
If the women had giggled, pointed and squinted, asking for a magnifying glass, he would have left even faster!
Posted by: Trystan Shout | May 27, 2005 at 06:13 AM
To dress up as the Lord of the Sith
Your 'saber' needs length, girth, and width.
Flashing as Annakin
when hung like a mannequin,
Will not make you a creature of myth!
Posted by: insomniac | May 27, 2005 at 06:20 AM
Kudos to the sleepless one!!
Posted by: slyeyes | May 27, 2005 at 06:23 AM
if it was a full darth vader suit, it'd be mighty hard to flash someone, let alone run away quickly. just a thought.
by the way, got interviewed by an orlando news station while waiting in line for episode iii...while wearing my boyfriend's jedi robe...
reporter: "so why are these people waiting in line?"
me: "uh...to get good seats?"
Posted by: jamie the star wars nerdgirl | May 27, 2005 at 06:38 AM
s-s-sciss-ssors
cut!
BLOOD! SPURT! huhnggghhhhhh!
...
I never wanted to be a barber...
Posted by: Bismuth | May 27, 2005 at 06:53 AM
... I always wanted to be ...
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 27, 2005 at 07:29 AM
Insom: beautiful.
Posted by: Balanchine | May 27, 2005 at 07:47 AM
A LUMBERJACK!!
Posted by: I miss Raymond already | May 27, 2005 at 07:59 AM
Darth Vader: *Flash*
Women : *giggle*, *squint* *point*
Darth Vader : I am your father
Women : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles | May 27, 2005 at 08:02 AM
"I told you that was a stupid guarantee!"
"Shut up."
"No, you had to say You'll like your haircut or you can stab us both in the chest!. What's wrong with Or your money back I says? Shut up! Says you."
"Shut up."
Posted by: Christobol | May 27, 2005 at 08:03 AM
Thanks, IMRA, I thought I was gonna be left hangin'.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | May 27, 2005 at 08:10 AM
"Thanks, Hank. I comes out looking like a champ every time. Well wort the $3."
"Uhhh, that's not a mirror, it's a picture of Ted something-something."
"Can I see? I's gotta see."
"Look over here."
"G-d d-mn, dog, you been drinkin'?"
"Whaddaya think I am, a stylist or sumpin'?"
*stab* *stab* *stab*
Posted by: D'Artagnan | May 27, 2005 at 08:18 AM
Lab - I would have gone into the song, but my father burst into the room and screamed "NO SINGING".
Posted by: I miss Raymond already | May 27, 2005 at 08:23 AM
Canadian Barber: There you go, you're all set.
Customer: Hey, it looks great. What do I owe you?
Canadain Barber: That will be 8.4 million dollars.
Customer: Damn Supercuts! I should have gone to Regularcuts.
Posted by: I miss Raymond already | May 27, 2005 at 08:28 AM
Apparently Darth Vader isn't the only Star Wars cast member who likes to get dirty.
Did no one involved in the brainstorming of this project see the what's so funny about putting Sammy L. in a movie entitled "Black Snake Moan"?
Key excerpt: The film is about a white nymphomaniac who must be cured of her disorder by an older black bluesman.
O, the horror. And what would happen if she weren't cured?
Posted by: M.C. | May 27, 2005 at 09:05 AM
M.C. - The trick is to just keep trying.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | May 27, 2005 at 09:15 AM
Regarding the Darth Vader flasher:
"So, you have the ring! And I see that your shwartz is as big as mine! Now let's see if you know how to handle it!"
Posted by: Schadeboy | May 27, 2005 at 10:24 AM
A. What are the Darth Vader posts doing in the haircut discussion? And,
2. I can't tell you how relieved I am to read that this guy isn't going to get snotty about his professional barber haircut.
C. I also thought of Ted while reading about this guy's wish for a real barber...
Posted by: ceeg22 | May 27, 2005 at 10:54 AM
oops, forget my 2., I wasn't fully paying attention. I got distracted by the idea of buying a hockey tean...
Posted by: ceeg22 | May 27, 2005 at 10:59 AM
Has anyone here heard from Ted recently? He was supposed to be back from North Carolina yesterday, and nobody answers his phone! I'm getting worried, but he never calls, he never writes...
Posted by: Ted's Mom | May 29, 2005 at 05:53 AM