THE NEW YORK TIMES COVERS AN IMPORTANT ADVANCE

Although it seems to this blog that, if you're pooping golf balls, you have bigger concerns than commode performance.

Advisory: The link above takes you to a registration site. But the site has an excerpt that pretty much gets right down to the meat of the story.

Update: Commenter Atticus has graciously submitted this:

For those morally opposed to registration sites, there is a non-registration version of the story (though lacking the catchy headline) complete with a fascinating toilet-physics diagram.

Key quote:
"one man is alternately flushing cylinders of miso paste, wadded-up paper, and as many as 24 golf balls at a time"

He needs to lay off the Thai food.

Comments

[Drew]

Log-in site...ugh.

[disillusioned]

Golf balls actually wouldn't be too far from the truth...we do live in the Fast Food Nation, after all

[slyeyes]

Baby Ruth's would have been more realistic.

[Susan]

I have to agree with Dave. If I ever got to the point that I am pooping golf balls, the performance of my commode is not going to be a prime concern of mine.

[joe]

where ya goin' with that plunger?"

"freakin' toilet's clogged up again."

"ben hogan?"

"nope, been poopin'."

[Atticus]

bugmenot.com to the rescue again...

NYTimes Login
Member ID: fartina
Password: dogdoo

Bonus: Finally I know what to name my unborn daughter. Plus, if I suggest "Dogdoo" to my wife first, she's certain to agree to "Fartina". Once she let's me back in the house that is.

[MOTW]

Hey, the Champion ™ rocks! (no, I don't mean we poop rocks in my house) Recently replaced the 6 gallon hunk-o-junk from 1978 with a new Champion and so far, it lives up to its claims. The old model is waiting for the large garbage pick up day at the end of this month.

[U.O]

Well, Crap! (To coin a phrase)

I useta be registered at The Times, just for moments like this, but they seem to've losticated moi ownself ...

Whatever ...

When I get back home for the reunion this summer, I'll hafta check out the Titleist capacity of my 7-gallon commode ...

[MOTW]

large garbage pick up * pun intended *

[U.O]

So ... the toilet pix (with circles and arrows, but no paragraph on the back) brings up a curiousity-type question in my mind ...

First of all: I'm sure many (some?) of vous out there are familiar with the riddle that involves water flowing naturally in a counter-clockwise (left-handed) direction into the drain, when north of the equator, and clockwise (right-handed) when south of the equator ... or maybe it's the other way around ...

NEway ... first question ... is that true? (Never having been south of the equator, to check)

Second question: If so, do toilets south of the equator have a reverse thread/water flow direction?

And: If so, does that mean a toilet from Melbourne or Rio De Janiero would not work (properly, or as well) in Fontana or Fargo? And vice versa?

Just curious ...

[killy]

Baby Ruth's would have been more realistic.

[Boo_Augustus]

MOTW -

Don't throw out the old toilet, convert it into an attractive, multi-level flower planter for your front lawn or porch.

Sheeesh, recycle people.

[Boo Augustus]

Or you could coat it in epoxy and glitter and sell it on eBay as a magical unicorn toilet.

[qetzal]

U.O.,

"Circles and arrows, but no paragraph on the back"

Does that mean you still have to pick up the "garbage"?

(Just wanted you to know someone picked up on the ref.)

[qetzal]

U.O.,

"Circles and arrows, but no paragraph on the back"

Does that mean you still have to pick up the "garbage"?

(Just wanted you to know someone picked up on the ref.)

[qetzal]

Sorry. Sorry.

Finger twitched. Finger twitched.

[NotHere]

Maybe you just picked up on it twice.

[golfwidow]

How many golf balls did they say? Does this post belong under "24", perhaps?

I dunno. I am opposed to having to yell, "Fore!" every time I flush, myself.

[MKJ]

In other news, looks as if Dave is going to get lucky (from an old DB article)
"The biggest myth, as measured by square footage, is that as you grow older, you gradually lose your interest in sex. This myth probably got started because younger people seem to want to have sex with each other at every available opportunity including traffic lights, whereas older people are more likely to reserve their sexual activities for special occasions such as the installation of a new pope."

[Susan]

*snork*

MKJ, I had forgotten that.

Thank you for reminding me.

[DougBo]

MOTW-
CAUTION:
I recently installed a Champion by A.S. in my new home and (as Dave would say) I swear I am not making this up, the orange rubber seal that goes on the center cylinder was sucked right out of the tank and got hung on the chain.
I probably got a BIG water bill coming as it ran for about 10 hours.
I think that the thing could suck out a user's intestines and other important bodily organs if a good seal was made between a users butt and the toilet seat.

[long tall texan]

Has anyone said "Baby Ruth's would have been more realistic" yet?

I'm too lazy to look.

[philintexas]

Couldn't the Cards pick someone younger? Pope BelaLagosi XXVrII looks like he's another John Paul 1. We'll have this Rope-A-Pope thing to do over in less than a year...

Remember...you read it here first!

[philintexas]

Couldn't the Cards pick someone younger? Pope BelaLagosi XXVrII looks like he's another John Paul 1. We'll have this Rope-A-Pope thing to do over in less than a year...

Remember...you read it here first!

[Eleanor]

PISCATAWAY, N.J.???????

That's the dateline, and I'm the first one to mention it!!!

Oh, you're talking about poop, not piss -
Never mind.

But I still think it's pretty funny *snork*

[4Flusher]

slyeyes - Baby Ruths...snork. You've been watching to much Caddy Shack.

MOTW - who cares.

[tyler]

heehee MKJ. I can't wait for the white smoke signal from the Vatican-I'm gonna get lucky. Missionary position only of course, out of respect.

[MKJ]

tyler: they just picked one (check a real news site)

[DougBo]

Tx Phil- best post I've read in a while LMFAO!!!!!

MOTW- BTW you can call A>S and they will send you a new seal, as it was a defect found in the MFG process 1-800-442-1902.

[antiroach]

Alright, let the hanky panky begin!! New pope just announced!

* takes first bath in weeks, even cleans between toes *

[casey]

I am so confused. Joseph Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XXXrated. Didn't this guy play that mailman dude on Cheers? Not Norm, but the other one-the Know-It-All, I can't recall his name....

HELP ME!!!!

[Laguito Mojito]

no mo lo flo!!!

[Christobol]

Problem with buying a Champion toilet is the same as buying a slick new computer, by the time you've set it up, they've come out with something better.

[etc.]

Eleanor — PissScatAway, NJ, is the perfect location for toilet research.

[�LabSpecimen�]

U.O.
The story goes that water in toilets, sinks, etc., north of the equator drain one way north of the equator (counterclockwise is what I always hear), and the other when south of the equator due to the Coriolis Effect. I've even heard that there are enterprising young men in cities that happen to have the equator passing through, that you can, for a reasonable fee, see a demonstration of water draining from two tubes in opposite directions. Now, who wouldn't want to pay for that?

But it simply isn't true. The coriolis force is what we in the science community call "very, very small." Does the coriolis force affect the way water drains? Yes, but only if you constuct a very special aparatus for observing the effect. It doesn't affect toilets or sinks.

I'm going to become known as the Blog Nerd, aren't I?

[Mr.Fishair]

I'd like to vote for Captain Coriolis, although it may have very, very little effect.

[�Cptn Coriolis�]

Sean, shouldn't it be in Bavaria? More likely to find a pub with good beer there.

"I'm spinning. Oh, I'm spinning."

[Alex]

Oh, NOW I see how the universe will end.

Scientists are going to use this technology to simulate a black hole and create a machine powerful enough to suck in the entire universe, compressing it inside a bag, until it turns on itself, and all matter is destroyed!

[karen]

I too am opposed to registration sites, so I was thrilled to discover Bugmenot which lets you enter a URL and recieve a User ID and Password if that URL has already been registered with Bugmenot.
Oddly enough, I read about this site in . . . the online (registration required) New York Times.

[DougBo]

Etc,
Lets all hope Pope BelaLagosi XXVrII, as well as the next one, lives a long, long time...

[Satan]

Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye almost killed him!

[kibby F5�]

golfwidow, at least you wouldn't have to shout twenty fore!

And I'm glad the diagram had the arrows pointing down! I'd hate to think they went up.

.... unless it was to release the unintended suction affect.

Talk about "Your Rings around Uranis".

[U.O]

Yup -- managed to avoid payin' $50, but had to pick up the garbage -- put it Officer Obie's back seat ...

Toilet Seat Butt Sealers wbagnfarb

LabS' --

Too late ... we already gnu about the blog nerd thing, but I luv havin' you around to answer my questions ...

Ya see, when I ask about that stuff, or worse, supply info ... I act sorta countrified, rubish and stoopid ... that way, everyone thinks I'm just an old coot ... and laugh at me ... kindly, one hopes ... and I get away with it ... sometimes ...

So, don't tell anyone, okay?

(Yeah, I gnu about that Coriolis thingy -- remember it from HS physics class ... but never nu if it was for real, as to sink drains ... it DOES affect our wind/weather somewhat, and I think that hurricanes/typhoons and such operate righty or lefty because of it, but I wouldn't take that to the bank either ... (air is lighter than water, and more easily moved, so the spinning of the earth ... blah, blah, blah ...)

[U.O]

Yup -- managed to avoid payin' $50, but had to pick up the garbage -- put it Officer Obie's back seat ...

Toilet Seat Butt Sealers wbagnfarb

LabS' --

Too late ... we already gnu about the blog nerd thing, but I luv havin' you around to answer my questions ...

Ya see, when I ask about that stuff, or worse, supply info ... I act sorta countrified, rubish and stoopid ... that way, everyone thinks I'm just an old coot ... and laugh at me ... kindly, one hopes ... and I get away with it ... sometimes ...

So, don't tell anyone, okay?

(Yeah, I gnu about that Coriolis thingy -- remember it from HS physics class ... but never nu if it was for real, as to sink drains ... it DOES affect our wind/weather somewhat, and I think that hurricanes/typhoons and such operate righty or lefty because of it, but I wouldn't take that to the bank either ... (air is lighter than water, and more easily moved, so the spinning of the earth ... blah, blah, blah ...)

[Sondra]

didn't work?

[DougBo]

Anyone notice a correlation b/t "etc's" post and "Satan's" post?

Kinda freaky.

See ya Wednesday.

[Sondra]

How is it that no one has mentoined that Pooping Golf Balls WBAGNFARB?

[U.O]

Sondra -- It seems to help, but as I said, too much other stuff on board might also be part of the problem ...

casey - You're thinking of John (Not Joseph) Ratzenbeuhler ... er ... Hatzenbeuhler ... er ...

CLIFF CLAVIN!

[U.O]

Sondra - that one (double) was actually the first time I hit a snag since I got your suggestion ... that's when I tried it, and things got better (somewhat) after that ...

tnx again

[Sondra]

You're welcome

[Dartful Codger]

I used to "play golf" by sitting in the clubhouse drinking beer and running out on the course every ten minutes to throw a handful of golf balls in a water hazard. (I never go around sand traps because the only two good balls I ever hit on a golf course occurred when I stepped on a rake in a sand trap!) Happy to note with the new AS facility I won't have to head (to go? It's no use!) outside in the heat.