PUT YOUR BANANA DOWN AND YOUR HANDS UP
(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, Dave Barry for President Field Coordinator and Aljazeera liaison)
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(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr, Dave Barry for President Field Coordinator and Aljazeera liaison)
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first?
Posted by: lobstersaver | April 20, 2005 at 05:14 AM
"Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it ... it could change the way we do business," he said.
Did we learn nothing from watching the Superbowl commercials?
Posted by: lobstersaver | April 20, 2005 at 05:21 AM
Apparently the people in the grant process didn't see the episode of "Malcolm in the Middle" where the trained monkey assistant for a temporarily wheelchair bound character turned to the dark side and took two people hostage.
Posted by: Wacked without an H | April 20, 2005 at 05:25 AM
Heh, heh, he said "capuchin."
Posted by: Boo Augustus | April 20, 2005 at 05:25 AM
Heh, heh, he said "capuchin."
Posted by: Boo Augustus | April 20, 2005 at 05:27 AM
I swear I didn't hit the post button twice. It's a monkey conspiracy.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | April 20, 2005 at 05:30 AM
Remember last week in the Capitol when swat took down that guy. They sure could have used a monkey then.
Posted by: narf | April 20, 2005 at 05:40 AM
professors have been training monkeys for years.
just look at the DNC.
Posted by: conservative | April 20, 2005 at 05:46 AM
Sean Truelove ?
Forget the little monkey fatigues, what about the little monkey Kevlar vests?
Posted by: insomniac | April 20, 2005 at 05:47 AM
"The capuchin monkey is considered one of the smartest primates."
Going into buildings, looking for bombs? Hope they catch on quick.
Posted by: hayduke lives | April 20, 2005 at 05:49 AM
"Does this mean he's going to have on little black fatigues?"
I think tutu's would be better. In the humour of it all the hostage takers could be subdued.
Imagine expecting a SWAT member storming through the door and, instead, there's a monkey in a tutu - dragging a music box!
Posted by: kibby F5� | April 20, 2005 at 05:49 AM
"Truelove told local newspapers that the idea came to him in a dream about 18 months ago."
I dunno.. I dreamed last night that I held up a convenience store and then won $150 000 in the lottery. It's a sign!
Please bail me out.
Posted by: Somewhere North | April 20, 2005 at 05:54 AM
Hey we've got a well-trained monkey running the white house.
Posted by: Liberal | April 20, 2005 at 05:57 AM
Being a military person... I think those monkey's could be trained to replace some of our not so smart enlisted persons... or officers..
Posted by: MzVette | April 20, 2005 at 06:11 AM
oh crap....the buddy cop movies of the future are really going to be strange... I don't care how many thumbs are up who knows where, I'm not going to go see a movie about a monkey partnered with a squirrel.
Posted by: philintexas | April 20, 2005 at 06:21 AM
Is this your minkie? -- Inspector Clouseau
Posted by: philintexas | April 20, 2005 at 06:23 AM
Liberal - If by 'well trained' you mean house-broken....
Back to the news, it's only been a couple of weeks since I read about monkeys being trained to aid disabled people to masterb...I can't finish. You know what it's supposed to say.
Posted by: Sondra | April 20, 2005 at 06:40 AM
Oh, man. That linked to Aljazeera. Big Brother just added us to a watch list. Watch your back.
Also - MKJ, you're not kidding. That's creepy.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 20, 2005 at 06:59 AM
Thanks, MKJ...With all of the Simpsons references going on around here...doesn't anyone see a striking resemblance between the Fresh Pope, and a certain beloved Villain?
Posted by: Angel | April 20, 2005 at 07:08 AM
Just wait til PETA gets wind of this! You know those wimpy whiney bleeding hearts are sure to complain about these lovable critters being put in harms way (as though they are more valuable than human life!)
Posted by: eats meat, wears fur (not) | April 20, 2005 at 07:09 AM
Great. Now the government is spending $100,000 to try to train a single monkey that might not even be trainable?
Posted by: Doug | April 20, 2005 at 07:35 AM
This just sounds like a whole lotta mishmash, jibba jabba, fiddle-faddle, balderdash. The proof is in the banana pudding - the day I see a monkey running around performing heroic acts during a 24 episode is the day I change my mind about this.
Oh, wait... Bauer. OK, I'm sold.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | April 20, 2005 at 07:45 AM
They'll get all the money invested in this project back when they sell the rights to produce a sitcom... or fodder for an entire season of 24.
"Dammit Jack! Don't shoot the monkey!"
"But he's a secret double agent monkey working for the terrorists"
"No he's not"
"Yes, look at him! He's got a banana!" *draws gun*
"Stand down Jack. He is going to eat the banana."
"It's a BMD!"
"What?"
"Banana of Mass Destruction!"
"He seems to be enjoying it"
(to be continued)
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | April 20, 2005 at 07:58 AM
balderdash?
Hum, I like that word!
*makes a bladerdash for the restroom!*
Posted by: kibby F5� | April 20, 2005 at 08:17 AM
Is the monkey going to be issued one of those black SWAT jackets and utility belt with all the zippers and snaps and velcro and stuff? And SWAT on the back in big block letters? I mean, if you're going to be on a SWAT team and you don't get that stuff, what's the point, really?
Posted by: ErnieG | April 20, 2005 at 09:02 AM
SWAT CAPTAIN (arriving on the scene):
"What's the situation?
SWAT Officer: Sir, we sent in the SWAT monkey, but the suspect had an unbelievably huge Johnson. Sir, we're going to need another monkey...
Posted by: jamester | April 20, 2005 at 11:41 AM
So I'm reading this article and I'm thinking to myself, "I wonder what a capuchin monkey looks like. I think I'll google it."
So off to Google I surf and do an image search on capuchin monkey... "Awwww... they're so cute!"
But there's this weird thumbnail picture of a bruised leg... "What the heck is that?" I said to myself... Click:
Yikes! I think they'd might make much better terrorists!
Posted by: Witchiecoo | April 20, 2005 at 11:45 AM
Reruns, of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp...again?
Posted by: insolentwench | April 20, 2005 at 11:54 AM
Thank you, D'Art - I don't see how we could have lived without seeing those pictures - nice work!!!
EEEEWWWWWWW!
in other words
GROSS!!!
I hope I've clearly stated my position in this matter.
That is all.
Carry on.
Posted by: Eleanor | April 20, 2005 at 03:18 PM
MKJ- Holy Crapamole, that's gonna give me dreams -- and not about a monkey either!
*puts 100w bulb in night light*
Posted by: Candy Tutt | April 20, 2005 at 03:20 PM
Much of this site (Witchie's) is quite bothersome to me, but there's a phrase used that bothers me even more.
When someone says a pet has been (or will be) "put to sleep" ... do they really know what is done to terminate the life of the animal?
I think not.
I will not describe it here. If anyone wants a more enlightening description, I will email them a personal narrative, along with my philosphy of ending the life of a pet in (what I consider to be) the most humane and (one hopes) painless manner possible.
end of rant
tnx4 listening
Posted by: U.O | April 20, 2005 at 04:16 PM
Let me see...she had his testicles removed AND all his teeth pulled out and she didn't know why he was upset???????
Posted by: Zoodle | April 20, 2005 at 04:38 PM
U.O.- My sweet cat (14 1/2) had cancer and stopped eating. She was in pain and I felt it was time to have her put to sleep. I was in the room with her. I put her blankie up on the table with her. The vet tied a rubber tube around her paw & put in the needle. I was stroking her head and telling her what a good cat she was and how much I loved her. Her head slowly lowered into my hand and she died. It was peaceful and humane. She was purring when she died.
I don't know what your vet did but euthanasia, done properly, is humane and definitely much better than letting them suffer.
Posted by: Zoodle | April 20, 2005 at 04:46 PM
OK Zoodie, I stand corrected, in your example.
However, it is not always "painlessly going to sleep."
Some of that may depend upon the animal type, and upon the vet ...
Our guy was with us 17 years ... among other things, he never liked going to the vet's office ... and I felt as if I had betrayed him by taking him there, instead of handling the job myself, as a responsible pet owner should do ... (but the owner should be willing to ask for help, if it is needed) ...
'nuf said ...
Posted by: U.O | April 20, 2005 at 06:31 PM
Thanks for correcting my goof-up D'Artagnan!
... especially, since I didn't get a chance to read the blog again until this morning *sheesh!*
Posted by: Witchiecoo | April 21, 2005 at 05:54 AM