To bring everybody up to date: At the end of last week, the president of the United States, after two months of being in Danger, got into Grave Danger, followed by Really Bad Shape. So now the acting president of the United States is Vice President Nervous Breakdown, and we do not trust his top advisor at all because he is Evil, as indicated by the use of red lighting. Speaking of Evil, the evil terrorist Marwan, who beats Jack to everything, needless to say beat Jack to the nuclear football and is now about to do some horrible nuclear thing that will make everybody look back with nostalgia upon the early episodes of this season, when all we were worried about was the simultaneous meltdown of all U.S. atomic reactors.
So in summary: We have a lame-o acting president with an Evil advisor, and terrorists about to launch nuclear missiles, and even Jack may not be able to stop them. The obvious question on everybody's mind as we go into tonight's episode is: Will there be another commercial for the Victoria's Secret IPEX brassiere?
So stay tuned. Although not necessarily to this show.
Update: They're going to Fast Track this.
Update: Marwan has a WAY cool computer.
Update: President Breakdown is moving to the bunker. Wimp.
Update: The bunker looks like a Ramada Inn lobby.
Update: They found one of the terrorist guys, and they're going to take him down. Hey, do you think Jack could be anywhere in the area? Nah.
Update: Tony and Michelle have tension between them. Tony wants to leave the past in the past.
Update: Bill thinks Tony is uncomfortable with the configuration.
Update: Somebody is going to get shot at the marina and JACK IS NOT THERE.
Update: Joe Prado shot the terrorist screwup guy, who screwed up right to the end.
Update: There's a convoy missing!
Update: Jack has not shot anybody yet. And still no IPEX commercial. The situation is becoming critical.
Update: Dodge is having a Spring Sales Event.
Update: The terrorists have a nuclear warhead in a pickup truck. I bet that is some kind of moving violation.
Update: Edgar would like to get Joe Prado in a room. Yuck.
Update: Not the needles!
Update: A bald snotty lawyer! Even for Marwan, this is LOW.
Update: The Sprint guy? Who's always in a suit? He's creepy.
Update: Gillette has a new product called M3 Nitro, which has three blades and a battery. God help us if Marwan gets hold of THAT.
Update: Maybe Jack will shoot the bald snotty lawyer.
Update: I'm beginning to like Evil Red Light Man. He's for torture.
Update: Still no word on the new pope.
Update: Audrey wants Jack to help her with the DoD interface (nudge, nudge).
Update: Joe Prado is not going to be playing the piano any time soon.
Update: According to the scenes from next week's episode, they're bringing back... President Allstate Insurance Spokesperson!
