IT'S A DARNED GOOD THING THIS BLOG IS NOT CRUEL
Otherwise you might see a link to this.
(Thanks to Natalie W.)
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Otherwise you might see a link to this.
(Thanks to Natalie W.)
The comments to this entry are closed.
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Why do you think she volunteered?
Posted by: MOTW | April 22, 2005 at 06:18 AM
This could last a while . . .
Posted by: MKJ | April 22, 2005 at 06:21 AM
This could last a while . . .
Posted by: MKJ | April 22, 2005 at 06:23 AM
BAHHHAAAHA!! I think the Atkins diet didn't work and this is her fallback plan.
Posted by: Somewhere North | April 22, 2005 at 06:26 AM
There must be some mistake. I think she ate the hunger striker.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 06:27 AM
So the photo shows this woman in her front yard, yet I see an entire living room full of possessions and creature comforts. 'Splain please.
(Also, she might want to exponentially increase the setting on the right side of that Sleep Number bed).
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 06:28 AM
Note the TV strategically placed so she doesn't even have to get out of bed...
You have to keep your strength up....
Posted by: Higgy | April 22, 2005 at 06:28 AM
Your mama's so fat, when she goes on a hunger strike, McDonald's stock price plummets!
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 06:34 AM
Hillary will be well into her second term as POTUS before this person is in need of food.
Uh, Dave...I mean your Daveness...I think you are treading some dangerous waters Today. Religion, Immigration. Are you getting your Plank together for your 2008 campaign?
*editors error in the first paragraph. Should read "His Daveness(El Supremo Ruler of all he surveys) will be well into his second term as POTUS..."
Posted by: igloo | April 22, 2005 at 06:35 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I had to take two trains and a bus to get on her good side."
Posted by: afurrica | April 22, 2005 at 06:35 AM
Afurrica,
I bow to your superior "yo mama"-ness.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 06:39 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, her buns are in two different area codes."
Posted by: igloo | April 22, 2005 at 06:40 AM
In honor of Mrs Buddhapest 1974, and thanks to a couple of very grungy Seattlites.
Hunger Strike
Well, I don’t mind stealing bread
From the mouths of Mexicans
But I can’t feed, and I'm showerless
Cuz my cup’s already overfilled
But just incase I brought the table
I can almost smell the fire cooking
And they’re farming rabies
While the Border Patrols are working
Put the TV on the table
And their chickens are all choking
But I’m growing hungry
I'm growing hungry
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 06:43 AM
"Yo Mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town say 'Occupancy: 240 patrons or Yo Mama'."
Posted by: afurrica | April 22, 2005 at 06:43 AM
"Yo Mama's so fat, she's, really quite fat."
Hmmph. Harder than it looks.
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 06:47 AM
Diana Ponce has now gone an incredible 5 days without food, to protest vigilante border patrol activities.
Of course, she does drink one gallon of sausage gravy every fifteen minutes.
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 06:51 AM
Christobol,
How 'bout this one:
"Yo mama's so fat, if fatness were bricks, she'd have plenty."
you're right, it's pretty tough.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 06:52 AM
Try this Cbol.
*covers self in Humice and gargles with Aqua Velva*
"Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it."
There, see that wasn't so hard.
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 06:54 AM
Cheers Mr. Fishair, on the similar thought process.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 06:57 AM
Yo mama's so fat, she bought a new couch and WORE IT HOME!!
Posted by: Rick | April 22, 2005 at 06:57 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when people see her, they have a difficult time not making fun of her, you know, because she's so fat."
Dang it!
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:08 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water."
Posted by: afurrica | April 22, 2005 at 07:09 AM
Oooo! Lemme try:
"Yo mama's so fat, she should go on a diet!"
Crap.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:10 AM
*tosses C-Bol 'Yo-mama jokes for white boys' book*
Posted by: SomePlaceElse | April 22, 2005 at 07:11 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy big clothes."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:12 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when I looked up fat in the dictionary, it pretty much described yo mama."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:14 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she's the subject of a 'Yo mamma's so fat' joke."
This is hard.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:14 AM
Wait, Sean: If yo mama was so fat, wouldn't EVERYONE ON EARTH be able to talk behind her back (being as it's so wide)?
Please explain. Only 1/4 into first cup of coffee.
Posted by: Funny Name | April 22, 2005 at 07:14 AM
Yo' mama's so fat her blood type is chunky-monkey
yo mamma so fat, last night she said to me, find a fold and do something to it that isn't appropriate for this blog, baby
Posted by: lobstersaver | April 22, 2005 at 07:17 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I wonder about her thyroid."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:19 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she is the Border Patrol"
Ok, I've lost it.
Or not so much lost it as much as Sarcasmo took it.
And he won't give it back.
Waah! Mama! (my mama's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks, which aren't all that easy to find, btw)
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 07:19 AM
*pats C'Bol on the shoulder affectionately*
It's okay Chris, some of us are so white, we're clear. Here's a complimentary Members Only jacket. Wear it with pride.
Posted by: Targetgirl | April 22, 2005 at 07:19 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when people see her on the beach, they try to divert their eyes as to not make her feel uncomfortable."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:20 AM
and, my final one for the day,
yo mamma so fat, kids run after her shouting "Kool-Aid Man!"
Sorry, I'm no better at this...
Posted by: lobstersaver | April 22, 2005 at 07:22 AM
OK, stupid people of this blog, you better quit your disparagement of us right now, or some of us are just going to have to sit on you.
We'll get up to make it happen! Oooh, we'll get up if we have to! Don't you tempt us!
Posted by: The Fat Mama Society | April 22, 2005 at 07:22 AM
Wheat Thicks! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:22 AM
"Your mother is really rather obese, I tell you."
Posted by: �TheBloviator� | April 22, 2005 at 07:23 AM
here you go Fishair, I'm done with it now.
yo mama's so fat, she eats a LOT.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 07:25 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, she realized she needed to lose some weight."
(These stupid jokes are making me laugh more than the 'originals'! Thanks C'Bol!)
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:28 AM
it: Hey! Don't I get a say in this?
Posted by: It | April 22, 2005 at 07:29 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, it takes her a half an hour to eat minute rice."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:29 AM
Kyle: Cartman, you're [not your] such a fat ass that when people go past you they say, "GODDAMMIT! THAT"S A BIG FAT ASS!"
Cartman: No. They don't!
[man walks past Cartman; looks at him]
Man: GODDAMMIT! THAT'S A BIG FAT ASS!
Cartman: Hey!
-Courtesy, Southpark
Posted by: Edelweiss | April 22, 2005 at 07:30 AM
I'm with you, Lou, the lame jokes are cracking me up.
Wheat Thicks?!?! Still laughing at that one. (not that it's one of the lame ones).
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 07:30 AM
Try and put it in a kinder light, like:
"If fat were a mineral, she'd be a diamond."
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 07:33 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I bet even very large panties end up riding up into her crack at some point during the day, and then she has to pick them out, I bet."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:36 AM
All right, all of you stop it right now! You're disturbing my students while they are trying to take their midterm exam (and my monitor is getting covered with mountain dew).
Posted by: Flash | April 22, 2005 at 07:38 AM
C'bol, you're killin' me. i bet.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 07:38 AM
Brainy Jello - a positive light, hmmm?
"Yo mama's so fat, I bet she never has to ask your dad whether or not some piece of clothing makes her look fat, because she already knows the answer."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:39 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, when people stare at her, she says, 'TrimSpa Baby!"
(what the he** did I just write?)
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:40 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I would not like to sit next to her on an airplane."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:48 AM
Yo mama's so fat, i bet she has low self-esteem.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 07:49 AM
Yo mama's so fat that when she steps on the scale, the needle points to the larger numbers, rather than the smaller ones.
Posted by: xmnr | April 22, 2005 at 07:51 AM
You people suck at this game.
And it's making my tummy hurt from trying not to laugh.
Meanies.
wheat thicks *still snorkin*
Posted by: TryingToWork | April 22, 2005 at 07:52 AM
I can't take this insensitivity anymore.
you thin people just don't understand.
where is the compassion?
where is the understanding?
it's not our fault, you know.
it's actually a fast food conspiracy.
they put pictures of all of those big, juicy hamburgers dripping with cholesterol all over their stores and expect us to NOT eat them.
see? SEE? now you people got me so stressed that I have to go to dairy queen and get a blizzard.
it's okay though - the government will take care of me and my lazy fat arse.
Posted by: fat liberal | April 22, 2005 at 07:55 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I bet the lights were off when you were conceived."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 07:55 AM
If fatness was a sporting event, she'd be the superbowl.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 07:56 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she should probably see a doctor"
Posted by: Higgy | April 22, 2005 at 07:59 AM
"If obesity was funny, she'd be Dave Barry."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 07:59 AM
If skinny were dangerous, she's be the safest person ever.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 07:59 AM
I'm really freakin' fat.
Posted by: Yo Mama | April 22, 2005 at 08:02 AM
"If being overweight was a hunger striker, she's be Ceasar Chavez. Or herself."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 08:03 AM
If fat was a politician, she'd be the President of Earth.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 08:05 AM
If fatness was water, she'd be a rain forest.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 08:06 AM
Or maybe an ocean.
If stupidity were bricks, I'd have plenty.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | April 22, 2005 at 08:07 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, if she were a joint, we'd all be eating Mac n' Cheese, Dorito's, cupcakes, Captain Crunch, pizza, Oreos, Taco Bell, and Edy's ice cream."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 08:11 AM
Illegal immigrants, the Minutemen would greet'em
Until this lady decided to beat'em
She'll just sit on her ass
Until they let them pass
And if that doesn't work she'll just eat'em
Posted by: AcuZod | April 22, 2005 at 08:11 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, the Bloglits can't get enough of her."
*rolls*
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 08:13 AM
*feels a little badly for pouncing on an easy target*
*remembers quote from Planes, Trains & Automobiles*
"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."
If fat were a buzzkill, she'd be in therapy.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 08:16 AM
If fatness were a shower curtain ring salesman, she's be John Candy.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 08:18 AM
If fatness were a spellchecker, eye'd bee scrood.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 08:20 AM
I did a hunger strike, once. Didn't eat for twenty-five days. Had whatever I wanted at night, though.
Posted by: golfwidow | April 22, 2005 at 08:26 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I would pay good money to see her try to do a somersault."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 08:27 AM
Yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house, she really doesn't move much.
Posted by: Leetie | April 22, 2005 at 08:27 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she follows Domino."
ok, this is startin to get a little harder.
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 08:28 AM
If obesity caused kleptomania, Diana Ponce would possess all of my old college furniture.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | April 22, 2005 at 08:30 AM
Hoo boy, there's some mighty fine Yo Mama So Fat going on 'roun heah.
My cheeks are sore from laughing. People are starting to look at me. I would try my hand at this but my attempt would be so lame it would need some sort of walker. (See what I mean)
Posted by: Prairie Dog | April 22, 2005 at 08:33 AM
Last one.
Sorry mammas (and the pappas)
"Yo mama's so fat, when she declared a War on fat, it said "Hey no fair, you got weapons of mass destruction.""
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 08:33 AM
"Yo mama consumes considerably more calories than she burns, doesn't she?"
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 08:35 AM
"Can I have fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, baked beans, and fat?"
"Baked beans are off."
"Can I have fat instead of the baked beans, then?"
Posted by: AcuZod | April 22, 2005 at 08:40 AM
New resolution to self:
Do not attempt to sneak peeks at Blog while students are taking tests. (Too hard to maintain proper "teacher-image" while rotfl with mountain dew coming out of nose.)
*Snork*
Posted by: Flash | April 22, 2005 at 08:42 AM
"I bet yo mama's BMI would be close to normal if she were only three feet taller."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 08:44 AM
Flash - now if it were coffee coming out of your nose...
Posted by: Brainy Jello | April 22, 2005 at 08:47 AM
...it would be called a Snotte'.
Posted by: Star Buck | April 22, 2005 at 08:48 AM
Your mama is so fat, she might have a thyroid condition.
Posted by: DougBo | April 22, 2005 at 08:49 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she beeps when she backs up."
Posted by: Kate | April 22, 2005 at 08:49 AM
Her therapist says she swallows a lot of aggression...along with a lot of pizzas!
Adapted from John Candy line in Stripes.
Posted by: DougBo | April 22, 2005 at 08:52 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, I don't see how she can possibly wipe effectively."
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 08:52 AM
"Yo mamas so fat, if she were the new Pope, you'd only be able to see her pinky in the Vatican window"
[ZZZOTTT!!]
Alright, alright, I quit.
Posted by: Mr.Fishair | April 22, 2005 at 08:54 AM
*holding a cracker under mama*
Posted by: Leetie | April 22, 2005 at 08:55 AM
Jabba no like Minuteman.
Posted by: DougBo | April 22, 2005 at 08:56 AM
SHE'S NOT FAT!!!!
She's, um, er, doorframe-challenged!
Posted by: whineyLiberal | April 22, 2005 at 08:56 AM
Yo mama's so fat, her doctor advised her to lose weight and get more exercise.
Posted by: xmnr | April 22, 2005 at 08:59 AM
I CAN'T STOP!!!!!!!!!
AP:
In a tragic twist, three illegal immigrants were discovered smothered to death in the "jelly rolls" of Diana Ponce when she stood up to address reporters.
Posted by: DougBo | April 22, 2005 at 09:01 AM
"Yo mama's so fat, she wrote a fat joke, then ate it."
I tried.
LOL - mayo on aspirin
Posted by: Sondra | April 22, 2005 at 09:06 AM
OMG, I feel so bad...I'm tryin ta stop laffin but I can't. I guess I'll see you all in hell...at least we'll be havin fun there.
Posted by: casey | April 22, 2005 at 09:07 AM
I CAN'T STOP!!!!!!!!!
AP:
Greenpeace has dipatched it's
ship in an effort to save Diana
Ponce from any harm.
In a related story, the Bush
Administration plans to take over
Ponce in an attempt to gain more
oil resources.
Posted by: DougBo | April 22, 2005 at 09:09 AM
Yo mama's so fat yo daddy ain't never talking about submission to her.
Posted by: Somewhere North | April 22, 2005 at 09:13 AM
Yo mama's so fat, an entire village could live off the crumbs in her bra.
Posted by: Funny Name | April 22, 2005 at 09:14 AM
You people are so mean.
I am trying to do some good here.
What is wrong with you?
This is who I am, and I am a good person.
Shame on you. If you want to apologize,
I'll be waiting. I've got nothing to do
here but dream of food.
LOOK OVER THERE!!!
** SNEAKS A BAG OF CHIPS****
what!!!??
Posted by: Diana Ponce | April 22, 2005 at 09:17 AM
"Yo mama's pretty much the final arbiter on when something is over, huh?"
Posted by: Christobol | April 22, 2005 at 09:17 AM