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April 27, 2005

GOSH, WE FEEL JUST TERRIBLE

I'm sure you must have read about netiquette rule #1

http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1


TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING

It also makes reading much more difficult. While I am a fan of the blog, I was seconds away from unsubscribing to the RSS feed (because I cant read the ALL CAPS headlines) when I decided I'd email in first. So please please please let go of the CAPS LOCK key!

Thank you!

-Jason

Comments

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Cry me a river......

AND GET OVER IT!

I SOOO WISH THAT THE RSS FEED SENT THE COMMENTS, TOO!

judi,

I find it inconvenient that I have to click on the DB blog website to read the blog, not to mention how tired my eyes get from moving back and forth. Would you please come to my house and read it to me every day? After all, isn't the whole of your existence simply to please me?

ANOTHER RSS COMPLAINER! WHAT IS IT ABOUT RSS THAT MAKES YOU WHINY?

I kinda like shouting via caps. Being as I can't scream at anyone else all day....

Oh man, here it comes . . .

and I don't think I should have to scroll down to read all the comments just because a topic of discussion is interesting to other people. could you put a link at the bottom of each comment that I can click to to move down to the next comment?

and I don't think I should have to scroll down to read all the comments just because a topic of discussion is interesting to other people. could you put a link at the bottom of each comment that I can click to to move down to the next comment?

«LabSpecimen» - Amen.

And ROTFL!!

I think this topic explains why the RSS people have so sense of humour:

"Please remember that you are sending a text-based communication to possible strangers. They may not know your sarcasm or witty sense of humor like your family and close friends do. For this reason, it is imperative to get into the habit of using some of the common shorthand features in your email. See the emoticon and abbreviations lists at the end of this document."

Oh man, here it comes . . .

Somewhere - "Being as I can't scream at anyone else all day..."

May I loan you a couple of my kids?

Somewhere - "Being as I can't scream at anyone else all day..."

May I loan you a couple of my kids?

Whoops! I see my last post violated Rule#5 on the Etiquette about Quoting. So now I am a shouter, a quoter and an emphasizer.

Now I'm going to work on my "DESCRIPTIVE SUBJECT LINE"

MOTW: For the benefit of Jason, please make all your double posts in CAPS!!!!!! He told me privately that it would double his enjoyment!

HI JASON, HOW'S IT GOING'????

I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.

MOTW: I'm willing to scream at your kids (I charge by the hour) but will I have to include emoticons to express this or will they pick up on my non happiness by themselves?

Why was Jason shouting "all caps" and "caps lock" and "rss"? That just wasn't called for.

ROFL, Lab - and when judi't finished reading it to you, could you please aske her to stop by my place - THANKS!!!!

...IS SO FAT, EVEN HER NAME IS IN ALL CAPS.

WAIT, NO, THAT'S NOT RIGHT. SHE IS JUST MEAN TO THE RSS FEEDERS.

judi, you shoulda made the all caps headline the link too. Just to irritate that thorn in the RSS people's backsides.

Is it just me, or does RSS sound like it really sucks???

Somewhere: Back away from the netiquette rules! Back away slowly! Come back over to the Dark Side!

Ok, I think I get it now. Don't use CAPS LOCK unless you are pretending to be mad.

HOW HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND, ******-**C****?!?!?!?!?

Did I do that right?

These, however, could come in handy. Although I regret to inform you all that NTTAWWT is not a Jason approved acronym so we must cease and desist IMMEDIATELY!

FWIW = For What It's Worth
FYA = For Your Amusement
GA = Go Ahead (as in live chat when you want to let the other speaker know it is their turn)
GIGO = Garbage In, Garbage Out
IMO = In My Opinion
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO = In My Not So Humble Opinion
IOW = In Other Words

Jason,

Step away from the RSS aggregator with your arms where I can see them, and get a life.

That is all.

OMGWTFBBQ!

Where's PETER when we need him?

*gasp* Thanks, Lab, that was close. I've pulled away from the netiquette site. It was touch and go though - I almost bought an RSS whatever...

WHAT IS RSS?

I, for one, am not going to engage in this Jason bashing. I simply do not want someone wearing a hockey mask knocking on my door.
Dave and Judi,
He knows where you LIVE!

is it my imagination or is every second computer geek in the world named Jason? There's probably at least one Jason in every IT department in every organization ....human? I think not!

My RSS defibrilator just went off.

1 w0n�3r h0w R$$ �33�$ h4nУ3 �337

IGMO: Really Stupid System.

WBAGNFARB

Colonial villages with a town crier are part of our heritage. I think Dave is just making history fun by shouting the headlines.

SHEESH, WHY CAN'T PEOPLE APPRECIATE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR ANYMORE?

D'Art, I hope you know this is all your fault. Your comment in the chunky water thread has called forth the RSS Alligator from the depths of the Iowa water mains.

MOTW - NO ONE WANTS YOUR KIDS....EVEN YOU ... SO IT SEEMS.

Well, there is a lot of blogging going on here... sometimes you have to shout to be heard through the crowd...

THANKS!

Judi,

This thread offers me the perfect opportunity to raise an issue that has really been bugging me. It seems that some people (I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so let's just call them "Jason") feel that they are morally and culturally superior because they adhere to some imaginary geek “standard” of conduct called netiquette that they would like to impose on us so they can feel better about their pointless existence working for minimum wage at Taco Bell awaiting the invitation to become a management trainee.

The problem is--and I think I speak for most everyone here—WE HAVE NO STANDARDS (shouting intentional). In fact, unless you’re brain dead, if you have spent any time here at all you should be well aware of the fact that the whole point of this blog is to identify and then tread upon any and all standards of decency, politeness, and/or hygiene. Exhibit A, “Booger”.

To correct this problem, please contact “Jason” and pass along the following well intentioned message. “HELLO JASON. THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT COMMENT CONCERNING NETIQUETTE. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT WE HAVE GIVEN IT DUE CONSIDERATION AND WE BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE A SOLUTION THAT WILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM. IT’S RATHER TECHNICAL, SO PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS VERY CLOSELY. FIRST, FIND YOUR COMPUTER’S POWER BUTTON. SECOND, TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. THIRD, GO AWAY. FOURTH, DON’T COME BACK.”

That is all.

Judi, just how is Jason supposed to know "you feel terrible"? Your comment about feeling terrible was ALL CAPS. Jason can't read ALL CAPS. Judi, I really don't think it's necessary for you to shout your feelings at poor Jason. Just calmly, quietly, state your feelings. Not only will Jason understand how you truly feel, but your calm reasoning will be an example to him.

Or, you can scream your head off. I REALLY DON'T CARE!!!

*looks down*

Pssst, Hey, get up! Leetie needs you.

*BOING!*

Dear Judi,

I'm sure you've heard of the Americans With Made Up Problems They Whine About And You Need To Deal With Act of 2003. I suffer from a percieved preference for diagonal font displacement. As such, please format all future posts to read like this:

H
..E
....A
......D
........L
..........I
............N
..............E

.................O
...................F

......................T
........................H
..........................E

........................D
......................A
....................Y

.................S
...............O

............F
..........A
........R

Oh, and Judi, in your copious spare time, and after reading the blog to Lab, could you possibly post some more naked men pictures? I'm not partial to caps or anything. Just regular ol' naked men pictures are fine...

Jason and the RSS-onauts.

Oh yeah, while I'm at it Judi, it is hard for me to come up w/funny comments to compete with the likes of Cbol, D'Art, Mud, MOTW, Insom and all the others, so, next time you post something, please just email me some funny comments I can use.

hehehe, I said HARD.

Oh and Judi, I'd like a little more one on one communication time with you. Can you send me nice chatty e-mails now and then and perhaps enclose your visa number?

Thanks!

Typing in all caps makes it harder to read?

Huh. I never knew.

So I must have been suffering needlessly all these years when I was typing things to read, what with the caps and the doublespacing. And I was told to do that to make it EASIER to read.

Why was Jason shouting "all caps" and "caps lock" and "rss"? That just wasn't called for.

* thanks, casey*

I just remembered what this reminded me of !

At the end of 'Weekend Update' when Garrett Morris did the 'Headlines for the Hard of Hearing'

"OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...."

Perhaps we need a blog for the humor-challenged.

I would like to express gratitude at the placement of me among the likes of C-bol, Mud, MOTW, Insom, and all the others, but my RSS gravitator seems to be misfunctioning at the moment.

SO SORRY.

*snork*

I had a funny comment... but the RSS Alligator ate it.

*pout*

*bowing to D'Art*

The really ironic thing, is that each numbered rule in that article has a heading in ALL CAPS. Because titles, headlines and so forth don't count under that rule by any stretch of the imagination.

What a freakin moron.

My GAWD! People can be so demanding!

Hey Judi, I have an itch in the middle of my back that I just can't seem to reach, would ya be a dear?

What? You aren't here to please me at my every beck and call?

Wait, I have a BECK??

*hides Beck in the closet from Tamara-rhymes-with-camera*

*gets hit by Beck*

HEY! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO PEEP IN HERE!

Mmm, Beck-alicious!

*peep*

WHOOPS! Sorry C-Bol!

I didn't know you were in the closet...

*debates whether to re-write the post*

*loves C-Bol a pair of binoculars instead*

WHOOPS! Sorry C-Bol!

I didn't know you were in the closet...

*debates whether to re-write the post*

*loves C-Bol a pair of binoculars instead*

Wow, that little comment I made a couple of weeks ago about the RSS aggregator has really turned into a sort of a revolution around here, huh? I actually kind of feel important.

For the record, the RSS feed does just fine with capital letters - Jason is the only one with trouble with the all caps.

Also, I want to announce that I no longer care if the link is in the headline and I can't get it with the RSS aggregator. I've suffered from a bit of a paradigm shift, which causes me to not care about that anymore.

My RSS and your RSS should get together sometime for lunch.

ok. no more caps for me. i'm off caps cold turkey. not even a caps patch or caps chewing gum. i'll just sit here...and key all these....lower.....case......letters.......forever........I CAN'T DO IT!

Maybe tomorrow.

Jason really needs to just get over it. The time of netiquette is long gone. It's the Eternal September, and the net is no longer the preserve of an educated elite, but a more inclusive and unbounded place where anyone can shout if they want, because there's always another, kinder, gentler web site to go read instead. Times have moved on and it is no longer practical to follow the old advice to "speak softly and carry a BIG stick", because in Florida, that just means someone will shoot you.
While I never considered it worth commenting on, I've always thought the all caps headlines looked kind of dorky and juvenile. I assumed that was intentional.

I have just one question. What was I doing in the closet? And did I know C-bol was watching me?

*begins re-dressing*

Hey, wait, that was more than one question; should I be punished?

*re-undresses*

Congrats, Steve. Hope you didn't take offence at anything. And I hope you get that shift fixed in your paradigm.


Well, shake it up, judi, now, (shake it up, judi)
Cap and shout. (Cap and shout)
C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, judi, now, (come on judi)
Come on and make it all caps. (make it all caps)

C-Bol - you kill me! I, hereby oppose the AWMUPTWAAYNTDWA of 2003 and think you should all write your congressman to fix it!

(BTW, Steve called for you. He wants to meet out by the flag pole after recess.)

Jason really needs to just get over it. The time of netiquette is long gone. It's the Eternal September, and the net is no longer the preserve of an educated elite, but a more inclusive and unbounded place where anyone can shout if they want, because there's always another, kinder, gentler web site to go read instead. Times have moved on and it is no longer practical to follow the old advice to "speak softly and carry a BIG stick", because in Florida, that just means someone will shoot you.
While I never considered it worth commenting on, I've always thought the all caps headlines looked kind of dorky and juvenile. I assumed that was intentional.

Dear Christobol:

I am sorry to say that Peeps Inc. must cancel your subscription to "Tamara's closet" daily.

In subpoint 17 of article 23, which you consented to by clicking the "I agree" radio button on page 72, you agreed not to jostle other peepers who might also be colleauges in this venture.

Mr. Beck has notified us of your violation of said provision, and we are now invoking Section 59 provisions as a result of your actions.

Please provide us with a key to your closet and begin reviewing the "expectations of conduct" for your upcoming six month stint in the stable of Peeps Inc. talent. Please also send a bio of your background for our use in promotional materials unless you'd rather our marketing team invent one for you.

Yours for our profit,

I see the problem, Jason was looking at an old copy of the Netiquette standards. They've been updated.

HEEHEE, Cbol thought I was Beck. If I just keep my mouth shut, he's never gonna.

Oh, shoot.

Me and my BIG body part are always getting kicked out of closets.

Hrrrmph.

Hey how bout a COMING OUT Party? You guys go first.

*slinks back in the closet*

WTF is wrong with those RSS aggregators nerds?...and he says that he was seconds away from unsubcribing to the RSS feed...hey Jason, why didn't you???

Dear Peeps Inc,

Fine. I'll leave the peeping closet. But I'm taking my keg, and my margarita machine, and the tickle me Juanita doll, and the wet wipes.

However, I'm leaving the port-o-potty. It's gotten to heavy to practically move, and anyway someone is on it.

Oh, wait, I think I found the problem with my RSS vacillator.

*plugs it back in*

BITCH, WHINE, BITCH, BITCH!!!

It's all good now.

I BET PARANOID PEOPLE THINK ALL CAPS MEAN YELLING.

IN THIS INSTANCE, HE'S RIGHT.

HEY STEVE!!! *waves*

GLAD YOU AREN'T BOTHERED BY CAPS!!!

Thanks for bringing us the aggrevator thingy topic. This is loads of fun and to think...you started it all!!! How bout a few hearty congratulatory blows!

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to officially add the following acronyms to the Official Emoticons and Acronmys section as I find I frequently have to express myself using them:

MTIS (my toilet is exploding)
OMRNAI (ouch, my ramparts need an Ipex)
ITAEOAM (Is that an earwhig or a maggot?)
WTBMJBJS (Was that Barry Manilow Jack Bauer just shot?)
JDYNTRRTCYU? (Jason, do you need the roo roo to cheer you up?

--The really ironic thing, is that each numbered rule in that article has a heading in ALL CAPS. Because titles, headlines and so forth don't count under that rule...

Amen, Kristy! The ALL CAPS headlines actually separate the articles in the blog making it easier to read.. not that the RSS Aggravators see that.

So I have one thing left to say to them. BOOGER. Or, for Jason, "booger".

Eighty-second?!

Holy chit, this is an active thread.

TTFN

heh, I'm still learning all the 'net acronyms

in the words of an old Styx song, Jason's got "TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS"...and besides, JASON, people who ride on the geezer bus like all caps, it is EASIER for us to read, we don't have mutated, advanced, and superior intellect as you obviously DO

Dear Somewhere North,

We have received your request, which we appreciate very much, and are pleased to advise that we have decided to include your suggestions in the next revision the Unabridged Spelled-Out Emoticons Handbook for Web Users and Their Friends.

Our editors have taken the liberty of combining them and shortening to "OMG!"

Enjoy!

Sincerely and etc.

Dear Editors:

You are too kind. One tiny question if I may, when I need to express an urgent request like MTSEWMCBD (my toilet snake escaped with my Canadian Bean doot) how do emphasize that I am not asking for the roo-roo although my bean dip might be? And which emoticon should I include?

Sincerely,

Somewhere North

Sincerely and etc?

Dear Somewhere North,

When expressing that your toilet snake escaped with your Canadian Bean doot and wishing to emphasize that you am not asking for the roo-roo although your bean dip might be? The abbreviation and emoticon are as follows:

BFN BTW G HTH IJWTK IJWTS IMHO LOL LOFL LOFFFFFFL OTOH ROTFL ROTFLORIDA TOY YMMV FCKYU ~~>//^^{

Its like my Dad used to say about some people, " They talk like a fat man with a paper ass . " I have no idea what that means...BTW Jason , have you come up with an alias yet for your future posts ? Just wonderin'..

How about " CAPN' LOCK "? or " UP HER CASE " or " SHIFT HEAD "...Just trying to be helpful..

Dear Editors:

If there is a possiblity of an RSS aligator leaving chunks of flesh in the water purification system but no news is reported in Mysore, would I still use the same emoticon to express that Chloe is in extreme danger? FCKYU b*k ~~>//^^{ being the emoticon in question?

Gee, Jason, why are you screaming RSS at the top of your lungs?

Dear Somewhere North,

Yes. Frankly, we believe we've created the ultimate and universal emoticon. All other emoticon's bases are belong to us.

Etc and sincerely,

DEAR JASON,
GET A LIFE.

I have nothing terrible witty to add, but I've been lurking all day and just had to tell you all how much I've been enjoying this comment thread.

NOW, PLEASE CARRY ON.

philinTexas,

Jason is a nine-year-old computer genius in the comic strip FOXTROT. He's probably this computer geek's idol.

Dear Editors:

Thank you for your inclusion of my new emoticons and acronyms. However, I've discovered that acronym FCKYU ~~>//^^{ does not show up on my rss agravator. If you could please type all emoticons with every second letter hypenated and every 7th letter capitalized, it works much better. For instance: f-ck y-U ~~

"Caps may be used sparingly to emphasize a word or phrase."
How's this?
booger
Booger
BOoger
BOOger
BOOGer
BOOGEr
BOOGER!

WHY THE f#%# IS IT CONSIDERED RUDE TO USE CAPS. JASON,(A$#HOLE) DO YOU FEEL I AM BEING HOSTILE, BECAUSE I AM NOT. I AM VERY CALM AND WISH TO EXPRESS THAT I AM SO F$#@ING TIRED OF DAVEBLOG WHINERS THAT I WISH JACK BAUER OR POSTER JACK TORRANCE WOULD HUNT YOU DOWN AND BEAT THE LIVING S#$% OUT OF YOU.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT DOES GIVE US GOOD STUFF TO POST ABOUT, SO... CARRY ON, JASON.
YOU ROCK DUDE.

judi,

Would you be so kind as to move the Posted by: line to the top of each remark. I always read it first, and the extra effort of moving my eyes up and down, well, let's just say I'M LAZY.

Dave,

Ignore him. He's just hoping Steve's manuever will work for him. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Proper use of caps:

That sample correspondence was so UNREADABLE that I'm waiting for it to become an email joke ITSELF.

Also, surprisingly, proper use:

JASON, ROT IN HELL.

Improper use:

[See original message]

TYPING IN ALL CAPS TO SAY THAT TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS WRONG IS IMMATURE AND HYPOCRITICAL. SO IS DOING THIS TO MOCK THE HYPOCRISY, BUT IT'S DAMN FUNNY, SO THIS DOESN'T COUNT.

Come DougBo, that's a little strong. Now beat the living bean doots out of you is a more friendly way of putting it.

Your right North. BTW, from now on I will post as
DougDoots. Thanks (to igloo also for inspiration)

MJK- this has nothing to do with anything, I just thought you would like
it ">it

OOPs. try
it

instead

Dear Mr. So-Called Barry,

I am an habitual goat violator. As such, I have a limited amount of time to allocate to socially acceptable behavior, such as reading. To facilitate my reading, I utilize an RSS Combobulator, which fetches blog entries for me, leaving my hands free to restrain goats. Obviously, as has been previously mentioned, links within headers makes my RSS a Discombobulator, which I do not desire anymore than the next person.

I also find it distracting when you use caps, italics, bold, and or words I may have to look up. It would also be nice if you more clearly pointed out what's so funny about stuff, as I often don't get it.

Thanks,

Jason

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