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April 21, 2005

CHICKENS STRIKE BACK

I guess we're supposed to believe that this is mere coincidence.

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Isn't that how a lot of prison movies start?

And this is just the start of them stricking back. Until the chicken coup is finished, more chickens will escape.

Exactly what is the proper care for chickens (already headed for the the slaughter house) involved in traffic accident?

Authorities suspect that fowl play was involved...

sniggering,
and THANK GOD for the funny updates and witty remarks from the gifted blogettes. Did you know laughing helps a body quit smoking? At least I stopped growling for a moment there.

Significant quote: "chicken were taken care of"

Vinny: "Hey boss, we took care of dose chickens dat was trying to get away".

Goddamn, I could'a been a Poultry Director, instead of a bum, which is what I am...

C. W. McCall was way ahead of his time:
Me an’ Earl was haulin’ chickens on a flatbed out of Wiggins, and we’d spent all night on the uphill side of thirty-seven miles of hell called Wolf Creek Pass, which is up on the great divide.

We was settin’ there suckin’ toothpicks, drinkin’ nehi and onion soup mix, and I said, earl, let’s mail a card to mother then send them chickens on down the other side. yeah, let’s give ’em a ride.

[chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the great divide
Truckin’ on down the other side

sorta redefines "eggroll".

All birds were being recovered and taken care of properly following the wreck.

I hope "taken care of properly" means shipping them off to Gitmo with the other terrorist bastards and questioning them at length about their fowl conspiracy to disrupt life as we know it.

We need to flush the Subservient Chicken out of his cave and crush the El Gallo network before it spreads t another generation of militant fowl...

Boo, my question exactly.

"All birds were being recovered and taken care of properly following the wreck."

I looked it up, in Montgomery Alabama that means they "whacked them with a bat a distance not exceeding 200 feet and not less than 22 feet, with no more than four tries to cover the minimum distance, pants optional."

It's not even May 4th yet. They're early birds.

Good thing too. Chickens look silly wearing pants.

Did they come out with "Chicken Run 2" yet? If not, we may have just seen the opening scenes...

dave makes a star wars reference. yesssss.

The really sad thing is, it's been raining hard all day today (I'm in Montgomery) so those chickens are *wet*.

It begs the question... er... nevermind.

Mr. Perdue would have a fit.

AcuZod - were you going to ask if the chickens were mad as wet hens?

Yes. And then they were dead.

The worst part wasn't the accident... It was that ALL 6,000 of them saw it coming. The truck might have righted itself but the force of chicken poo blew the truck 600 yards off the road.

"It-tweren't purty", said a local bystander immersed in several feet of gooey, smelly ooze.

Weasels look pretty funny in pants too. You should probably stop wearing them.

"In a statement, State Agriculture Commissioner Ron Sparks says a representative from his department, poultry director Ray Hilburn, has been at the wreck site with representatives from the health department and the Department of Transportation. "

with vats of oil and some chicken fryers, uh-huh.

and how do you get the job of state poultry director? do you have to grease some palms... wonder how much bread this job gets. does it come with some greens and cornbread? yuuuuum.

Spilled chicken on U.S. Highway 331 outside of Montgomery... it's what's for dinner.

wasn'it ? really ? ah vraiment, quel gâchis!

All birds were being recovered and taken care of properly following the wreck

I see no less than four of our brightest minds were struck by the absurdity of the same sentence I was.

I am not sure if I should be encouraged by this fact or if it is time to double my medication.

Was the driver playing chicken?

"All birds were being recovered and taken care of properly following the wreck."

Excuse me, but what about the DRIVER?!? After all, chicken truck drivers are people, too!!

Seriously, I hope the driver is OK. Poor guy.

Powerhungry: "Playing chicken" = good one.

Q: Why did 6,000 chickens cross the road?
A: Because their friggin truck overturned, idiot.

It's hard to imagine 6000 chickens coming through without a scratch, but the driver's seriously injured. What kind of a sick, irony-enriched God would allow that to happen? Apart from a sore drumstick and some significant tenderization, I hear he'll be fine.

Couple of months ago, I actually drove past the scene of a similar accident near my home in Oregon. I don' know what was sadder, the claws-up specimens, or the birds wandering around the road in a daze...

I was tempted to stop and grab a couple, as I've processed a few chickens myself before, but just kept driving. I think I read later that someone else at the scene had the same thought, but was apprehended when his jacket started wriggling and squawking...

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