WHY WE MUST NEVER ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE AWAY OUR BANANAS
(Thanks to Susannah Nation)
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March 25, 2005
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Senger said the suspect, whom police said was intoxicated, was stunned from getting hit by the flying fruit.
It was a drive-by fruiting.
Posted by: Mrs. Doubtfire | March 25, 2005 at 05:11 AM
Is that a banana in your pocket or...OWWW!
Posted by: pogo | March 25, 2005 at 05:24 AM
Damn story locked up my browser. Read it and enter Pop-Up Hell!!
Posted by: GDogg | March 25, 2005 at 05:25 AM
Durn blog. Posted witty, insightful(Pulitzer quality)comment earlier and it has yet to show up.
Unfortunately, advanced Geezerism, has deleted said comment from Main Frame.
Posted by: igloo | March 25, 2005 at 05:42 AM
Sgt.: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh? We haven't done bananas, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
Palin: Suppose he's got a bunch.
Sgt.: Shut up.
Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick.
Sgt.: Shut up.
Posted by: MOTW | March 25, 2005 at 05:44 AM
Let's hear it for the bananas!!!!
Hooray!
*takes out bowl, cereal and knife to slice bananas*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 25, 2005 at 05:45 AM
Man, is she lucky the bananas were on display up front, rather than something else less intimidating...strawberries or something. Viva la banana.
Posted by: Buddha | March 25, 2005 at 06:05 AM
GDogg - check your computer for spyware, no popups here.
Posted by: djtonyb | March 25, 2005 at 06:08 AM
Life imitates Monty Python:
"How to defend yourself against a woman armed with a banana...First of all you force her to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming her. You have now rendered her 'elpless"
"Suppose she's got a bunch?"
"Shut up."
Posted by: qetzal | March 25, 2005 at 06:09 AM
OK, so MOTW beat me to it. By 25 minutes. Guess I should actually, like, read the comments next time.
Sorry all....
Posted by: qetzal | March 25, 2005 at 06:11 AM
How does growing up playing baseball prepare one to throw unripened bananas at criminals? Last I checked, bananas, regardless of their state of ripeness, do not resemble a ball.
I don't think our hero citizen is telling us where she picked up her banana handling skills.
Posted by: Christobol | March 25, 2005 at 06:12 AM
It was in the Army. You pick up lots of practical real-life skills in the Army.
Posted by: Buddha | March 25, 2005 at 06:16 AM
Ah, it reminds me of the heady days when people were unafraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope at the armed robber of unhappiness...
Posted by: The King | March 25, 2005 at 06:27 AM
Ya can't make this stuff up, can you?
Gdogg: try the Google tool bar if you have trouble with pop-ups in Internet Explorer. The Firefox browser blocks pop-ups too if you want to try a different browser.
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 25, 2005 at 06:32 AM
*zips in*
Not to brag or anything - OK, I'm bragging - but I have a brand-new computer, brand-new high speed and I also have a pop-up blocker!
*zips out to avoid being hit by flying banana*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 25, 2005 at 06:37 AM
Eleanor, keep that up and you're liable to have incoming thru your Windows ...
Posted by: MOTW | March 25, 2005 at 06:47 AM
*wishes she had a banana to go with her cereal this morning*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 25, 2005 at 06:56 AM
The man was 300 lbs... She could have distracted him better with Twinkies and Ho Ho's.
*off to find peanut butter and bananas*
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | March 25, 2005 at 07:16 AM
monty python IS life. there is no imitation!! blimey!
Posted by: queensbee | March 25, 2005 at 07:56 AM
Palin: Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun?
Sgt.: Run for it.
Jones: You could stand and scream for help.
Sgt.: Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe.
* hurls a banana AND a pineapple in the general direction of Eleanor's Windows *
Posted by: MOTW | March 25, 2005 at 08:12 AM
*imagines Cleese and Palin doing Banana Slapping Dance instead of Fish Slapping Dance*
Posted by: slyeyes | March 25, 2005 at 08:17 AM
*sends Windex to Eleanor to clean the fruit off her windows*
Posted by: slyeyes | March 25, 2005 at 08:19 AM
Thanks sly, but fortunately (no rain today) the window was open!
*saves Windex because windows ar verrrry dirty*
*takes banana and pineapple and goes to make fruit salad*
mmmm, lunch!
Posted by: Eleanor | March 25, 2005 at 08:26 AM
Dave, please stop putting links in the subject line to your posts. It screws up my RSS aggregator big time.
*snork*
Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 25, 2005 at 01:33 PM
I'm thinking that the 2nd Amendment needs an amendment. Something about the right to keep and bear fruit!
Posted by: Peakester | March 25, 2005 at 02:44 PM
I, personally, would have choosen something from the canned food display to throw at the guy. Maybe not, though. My banana handling skills are pretty good.
Posted by: Peri | March 26, 2005 at 06:19 AM