UPBEAT NEWS HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR
(Thanks to Don Adams)
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March 28, 2005
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First!
Posted by: Mike Hapner | March 28, 2005 at 07:26 AM
Was this called in on a shoe-phone?
Posted by: Drew | March 28, 2005 at 07:34 AM
A few women died after tussling with snatch thieves. They included Chin Wai Fung, who died in Brickfields in May when she fought back.
Then Chong Fee Cheng fell, went into a coma and died resisting a snatch thief in Johor Baru in mid-June.
I mean.. this is so sad, but its just so damn funny when you read it with a juvenile mind, which I happen to have.
"Snatch a kiss, or vice versa"
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | March 28, 2005 at 07:56 AM
Does this mean more women are being bought dinner before one night stands?
Posted by: Christobol | March 28, 2005 at 07:57 AM
Ladies going to or in Malaysia:
DO NOT utilize handbags that could described in a police report as:
*furry
*pink
*lumpy
*(fill in blank)
Posted by: Doug | March 28, 2005 at 08:14 AM
I certainly have no need to steal one. My wife lets me borrow hers 3 or 4 times a year, whether I need it or not.
Posted by: charleyfoxtrot | March 28, 2005 at 08:20 AM
A few women died after tussling with snatch thieves.
I guess so, if the snatch thieves were successful!
*crosses Malaysia off her "places to visit' list*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 28, 2005 at 08:25 AM
Once the "snatch" thefts die down due to increased police presence, I predict an rise in penis thefts.
Posted by: igloo | March 28, 2005 at 08:26 AM
A RISE in penis thefts?
.:snicker:.
This comment has been brought to you by the Acting Immature on Monday (AIM) Committee.
Posted by: golfwidow | March 28, 2005 at 08:47 AM
*Re Don Adams' references*
"Missed it by that much"
I see the geezer bus is near capacity today.
Posted by: slyeyes | March 28, 2005 at 08:48 AM
*Re Don Adams' references*
"Missed it by that much"
I see the geezer bus is near capacity today.
Posted by: slyeyes | March 28, 2005 at 08:50 AM
That is why my mother warned me about tussling.
I don't think she meant that exact application, but still....
Posted by: Somewhere North | March 28, 2005 at 09:17 AM
Many women altered their daily routines to guard themselves against snatch thieves, some walking against the flow of traffic and others eschewing handbags in favour of less obvious wallets.
Maybe they should try wearing titanium-steel thongs.
Posted by: etc. | March 28, 2005 at 09:30 AM
And who can forget Woody Allen's great lines as the fool in "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex etc etc etc". He was trying to open Lynn Redgrave's chastity belt, see, and being a fool was prone to speaking in rhyme, ergo:
"A plan I must hatch,
To open the latch,
And get at her - "
Posted by: Balanchine | March 28, 2005 at 09:33 AM
...railings in snatch-theft areas...
Seems the Geezer Bus has installed new safety devices for the Hip Displaced Generation.
Posted by: Cody Pendent | March 28, 2005 at 09:41 AM
so many of you are such cunning linguists.
Posted by: queensbee | March 28, 2005 at 10:06 AM
Queensbee, you slayed me. Need to go change my undies now...
Posted by: Kilmeny | March 28, 2005 at 10:35 AM
I'm keeping my legs crossed, just to be on the safe side...
Posted by: ceeg22 | March 28, 2005 at 11:10 AM
"Police! Police!"
*two out of breath policemen stumble up*
"Huh... ... huh... wheeze... pant, Yesh M-ah-am..."
"That man, he stole my snatch!"
"Stole... huh... your... SNATCH!"
"Yes, he stole my snatch... I feel faint."
*swoons*
"Whew... huh... What were you doing... huh... with your snatch when it was stolen?"
"Just playing with it"
"Playing with it?"
"Yes"
"In public"
"Sure"
"How?"
"Up and down, like normal"
"Normal?"
"Yeah, like with the string"
"You had a string in it?"
"Well you can't very well play with it without one!"
"Maybe YOU can't"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I play with my wife's all the time and there's never a string. If there is I won't play with it"
"Well, it had a string"
"And you were playing with it in public"
"Is there anythign wrong with that?"
"Never mind 'mam, how was it taken?"
"This man just walked up and grabbed it by the string and took it... Oh boo hoo hoo, now I'll have to get another one and I really liked that one"
"Mam, I don't think you can get another one"
"Why do you say that?"
"I've just never heard of that kind of transplant"
"Transplant?"
---
---
---
"Mam, by any chance is the stolen item also referred to as a Yo-Yo?"
"Yes, but I'm always throwing mine down and 'snatching' it back up"
"This explains a lot"
"He stroked my pussy before he left"
"By that you mean your kitty cat?"
"He jumped in my Hoo Haa too"
"That's what you call your car?"
"Nobody ever gets that one"
"I suppose he slobberknocked your coochie coo too?"
"I wasn't wearing it today, but that wouldn't have been such a big deal.
"I understand... I think"
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | March 28, 2005 at 11:43 AM
Personally, I am pleased to know that my snatch will be relatively safe should I travel to Malaysia. But
I'm still worried about boarding a bus during rush-hour traffic in Rome.
Posted by: Susan | March 29, 2005 at 10:54 PM
Personally, I am pleased to know that my snatch will be relatively safe should I travel to Malaysia. But
I'm still worried about boarding a bus during rush-hour traffic in Rome.
Posted by: Susan | March 29, 2005 at 10:55 PM