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March 31, 2005

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

This is scary.

Key Quote: But insect dung it was not.

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Artillery Fungus wbagnfarb.

"I was scared to death that the house was totally invaded by billions of spiders"

That sounds like a tagline for a TV movie - Spring Break Gets Totally Invaded by Billions of Spiders

As a one-time writer/editor, I couldn't help but notice the first sentence of the story:

Tammi Jacob spent ten grueling hours scraping tiny black spots off of her glass-topped patio tables with a single-edge razor blade before storing them for the winter.

Why would anyone wish to store tiny black spots for the winter? What does she propose to do with them in the spring?

Metapen,

Maybe the "tiny black spots" are the Cancer spot from Monty Python. Ya never know when that'll come in handy.

"By using a toothed hoe to turn over mulch in the spring...".
If they used a toothless hoe, I would expect their labor cost to be less. After all, no Dental plan required.

Yeah, Yeah, I know. Back on the Appalachian State University Geezer Bus.

Why would anyone wish to store tiny black spots for the winter? What does she propose to do with them in the spring?

That's exactly the same thing I thought when I read it, metapen - bad, bad writing! Although I will admit that I kept wating for them to find the "artillery" that caused this!
I will say, in my own defense however, that we have lots and lots of buried ordnances here!

Does it ever stop? It goes on n on n on n on n on n on n on.............

"You wouldn't just throw seed on the ground in the spring and expect them to grow."
"Man, that explains the state of my garden."
"Dude, you have no garden!"
"Precisely."

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