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March 25, 2005

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're attacking us with avalanche-control shells.

(Thanks to William F. Cook)

Comments

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Having a shell explode in the backyard will certainly take the "pleasantness" out of Pleasant Grove.

Avalanche-controll shell "rocked the neighborhood"? *snork*

Hey, it happens.

Actually, I think they'll find out it was just a frustrated parent trying to get their teenager out of bed in time for school.

(Susan, take notes)

Weapons of grass destruction.

"RIIIIIIIIIICOLAAAAAA!"

I doubt that 'Pleasant Grove' was all that present beforehand. And now they have a watering hole. How is that not an improvement?

I think that further investigation will show that somehow beer was involved.

On the plus side, folks, we can assure you that Pleasant Grove will not be experiencing any avalanches any time soon.

It's raining shells! Hallalewa! It's raining shells!

No avalanche potential in THAT backyard now I can tell ya that! yessiree!

Sam Penrod reporting . . . Isn't that a terrific investigative reporter name? I can almost hear Ted Koppel's voice saying that.

And wat's worse is, we 'ave a missing H and poor grammer czeching.

the shrapnel went in all directions and ripped right through there house and as far away as across the street.

Scott Connors, Explosion Victim: ”Mark was on the floor in the family room, which is were most of the shrapnel came through, and there is a big plate glass window blow out.

I've seen "Hallelujah" spelled in many different ways, kibby, but I give you extra credit for creativity. Congratulations on a job well done.

-The Spelling Nazi

Since no one was hurt, it would appear that this explosion is one of the better things that could have happened to the home in question.

You know how your mother tells you to always wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident? She should tell you not to live in a messy dump, in case an avalanche control shell lands in your backyard.

"Scott Connors, Explosion Victim."

This guy will never be known as anything cooler.

Which reminds me of the descriptions of the jurors in the Jacko trial. One of them was described as being a Simpsons fan. If I am ever written about, I hope I am described as more than that.
"Here lies Brian. He liked the Simpsons."

Was this house even near the alleged 'Provo Canyon'?

Thanks Budda! I agonized over that for, what?, say, 15 seconds?, and didn't want to impede my creative juices. I was on a roll.

I'd also like to say:

"WHAT!? Tora Bora isn't over THAT ridge? D@MN!

"It's not loaded."

"What do you mean? We loaded it before."

"No, that was the other Howitzer."

"You lost track of which one we loaded?"

"I mean...I think it's the other one."

"Whatever. Point it over there and fire it. If it's loaded, you buy drinks."

Barry--
You fraud! Retired, my butt! Blogs count as columns, even if written by others!
So, you're out making $100,000 a speech now, are you? Don't con me. I know that, sooner or later, you'll come slinking back to my posh but not overly ostentatious coast-to-coast radio studio with the mirrored ceiling (not making that up, as you know). And now you know how to make that happen, and inform your countless (or at least dozens of) fans of your ongoing activities (assuming you read this thing).
Come on back, Dave! Most is forgiven!

SEE!? Beer IS involved!

Beavis: Whoaaaah!

Butt-head: That was cool!

Beavis: Let's see what this button does!

Who the hell is Jim Bohunk and why is he writing such trash here? Sheesh. He can't even make a hyperlink.

NOW, the begging question will be: Shouldn't they put regulators on those howitzers?

Or at least long strings on the shells?

They've got "limited-flight" on seemingly low-tech things like golf balls and soft balls! You'd think they could do the same for artillery shells!

. . .the avalanche control conducted by UDOT

Take out the 'U', add an 'I' on either side of the 'D', and you're done!

It was the Terminator trying to kill S. Conner.
Or maybe the howitzer operator reads Dave's blog and was trying to kill deer before they could get him!

Golfwidow,
"Weapons of grass destruction"....everyone in my class is ROTFL. Well done!

Uah's getting too scary. Howitzer shells in the back yar, and today,our local news said they are giving the high-colonic lady in Logan permission to go ahead with her business (even though it's in a residential neighborhood). I'm moving back to Idaho, where I only have to worry about cannibalistic fairy shrimp and farmers with potato guns.

"Let's see, Jimmy, Bobby, Ed, Gary and John have all been called up to active duty in Iraq. Who can we get to fire the howitzer that has any military training?"

"Nobody, but how hard can it be?"

"You want to try it?"

"Sure, what does this crank do?"

"They always turned it a couple of times"

"I'll turn it seven or eight just to be sure..."

Aye!!
Point ye cannons f'ward t'wards Pleasant Grove!
AARRRRRRRR!

so what's worse to hear....

AVALANCHE !!!!!!

or

INCOMING !!!!!

UDOT is now looking into what happened and there are a lot of questions to answer about how this could happen.

Bwahahahaha!!! Keep looking, and keep asking a lot of questions.

When it is criminal to own artillery, only criminals will own artillery.

There was also substantial damage inside the home, which will have to be fixed.

Really? Ya think? I give this sentence the "Well, duh!" award.

My brother lives 5 blocks away from the back yard in question. It (was) really a nice area.

"..not to live in a messy dump.." Maybe it wasn't such a dump before the blast.

He and I are thinking we'll make T shirts that say something like 'I got bombed in Pleasant Grove'

vbnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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