IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

...we cracked down on these lawless desperado criminals with their lawless criminal sidewalks with too much rose coloring.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[BostonBum0]

First

[U.O]

Yeah, and it's about damn time we got a new post, too.

TNX DAVE!

Besides which already ... Charlie Brown?

And, any town with a mayor named Hickenlooper is just wide open to all sorts of ... whatever it is we do here ...

[Higgy]

That inspector needs to take off his rose-tinted glasses....

[u.o]

Besides which already again, I guess it really is a slow news day, when colored sidewalks take the top story above the fold ...

[MOTW]

Don't forget the reporter - Karen Crummy

[Somewhere North]

I propose that we redo all the sidewalks in rose. Seems like a much more attractive colour than industrial grey.

[Christobol]

Phillip Bradbury had it all.

And it wasn't supposed to be like this. His kindergarten teacher had called him "obnoxious and ungifted." His fourth grade teacher said he was "remarkably average."

He barely graduated highschool, and then obtained several diplomas online from the University of Phoenix, Australia. Still, he spent over ten years as an Assistant Monkey Scrubber at the Denver Zoo.

Then he got his break. An uncle put in a good word at the city, several key officials were paid off, two supervisors mysteriously died, and suddenly Bradbury was City Inspector, Sidewalks Division.

He got a new muffler on his '79 Chevette. Had his pants washed. He was living the high life.

But folks, power corrupts. And absolute power over the color of sidewalks corrupts absolutely, at least vis a vis abuse of sidewalk color authority.

Bradbury's fall from grace is a cautionary tale for all of us. Remember, as you revel in the heady power of your lofty position - maybe you're in charge of this month's employee bulletin board - the higher you are, the farther you fall.

[u.o]

C-bol -

EXcellent analysis and cautionary iteration ... good things to remember in life ...

tnx4 that

[Marvin]

u.o., I believe they prefer the term 'sidewalks of color'

[etc.]

Any story that involves people named Karen E. Crummy, Charlie Brown and John Hickenlooper, not to mention a dispute over the color of a sidewalk, makes me wonder if it was meant to have been published this coming Friday — April Fool's Day!

[Inspector MOTW]

etc. - wipe that smile off yer face! This is the City Inspector.

[Former Criminal Defense Attorney]

Too bad the city changed it's mind - would have been a great case!

*looks at the worldl through rose-colored glasses*

*rose-colored glass is always half-full*

[opiesgirl]

This takes anal- retension to a whole new level.

[jokes]

Gotta love politics. You shed some light into the matter and bring it into public light and they run like little cowards.

Leave the poor guy and his sidewalk alone. Have you ever slipped and falled on grass my friend, it is not as enjoyable as a good hard sidewalk. He is doing everyone's tailbone a favor in our city. Leave the man alone.

[jokes]

Christobol that was a funny post by the way!

[Annie]

. . . leaving us all to wonder at the boundless dimensions of yuppie hell. I imagine next that driveways that clash with the subtle gray shade of the street will have to be re-laid.

[U.O]

'sidewalks of color'

M/PA -- TNX! L!O!L! V!L!A!V!L!

[Psycho_Joe]

The wrong shade of grey?
I'd have slapped the guy with a shovel RIGHT THEN.
He would've then become a nice foundation for my sidewalk.
'Nuff said.
8>

[reneviht]

Christobol: Thanque for the funny post!
Psycho_Joe: Thanque for the thoughtful analysis!

[Monsoon]

Methinks the inspector's "stool" is probably the wrong shade of brown.

[Canton]

"But Inspector! 'Industrial Gray' clashes with my 'Pesto Green' lawn! I thought you were into /beautification!/"

[indu]

Methinks the world is not such a bad place yet... 9 firemen dedicated half an hour to rescue a frog! we humans still have hope

[AlanBoss]

I think this issue requires a late night, emergency session of congress and a one AM fly in by the president to be resolved.

(Was that in poor taste? I'm just not even sure anymore.)

[kathy]

well -- everyone else noted the amusing names of the participants, the rose colored whatever, the sheer idiocy of the complaint.

but, one of the best parts is -- this is a sidewalk to nowhere! new homes have to have sidewalk, even if nobody else on the block does!!

this is what happens when one fritters one's life away as an anthropology professor... future generations may decide the rose-colored sidewalk to nowhere was some kind of mystical cult thing...

[WriterDude]

Now you folks know why I live in Brighton, carefully triangulated to be equidistant (20 miles) from both Denver and Boulder. We claim no knowledge of, or kinship to, these j***offs. Just let us farm in peace, please.

However and while we're at it, let us thank the city of Denver for building the new airport so close to us that the noise-abatement settlement money bought our new windows and doors, to the tune of $5K. Rah, rah DENVER!

[WriterDude]

Actually, I should issue a disclaimer -- Mayor John Hickenlooper may have a goofy name, but he's the guy who put a brewpub (The Wynkoop) on skid row that attracted the Colorado Rockies to move in next door in 1992. He's also a friend of a friend, and if I lived in Denver, I would have campaigned for him.

He also had squat to do with my new windows and doors; his predecessor negotiated that.

[B. Durbin]

Wyoming had "rosy roads" for years and years— the local granite is very pinkish, so most of the interstates were made with local gravel. Alas, the resurfacing and rebuilding of the interstates is slowly taking these rosy roads away, but there's still a good stretch of I-25 in eastern Wyoming that is pink.

Seriously. Pink roads. Maybe this guy got his gravel from Wyoming?