EBAY ITEM OF THE DAY FOR WEIRDOS
(Thanks again to Mahatma Jane)
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March 25, 2005
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Danke Schoen !
Posted by: insomniac | March 25, 2005 at 12:39 PM
How wrong is this? Let me count the ways:
1. It's a blow up doll of Wayne Newton.
2. See #1.
Posted by: cherie priest | March 25, 2005 at 12:41 PM
I'm third(it's a personal best)
Posted by: Bongo | March 25, 2005 at 12:43 PM
How do they know Wayne has painted on chest hairs?
Posted by: Graz | March 25, 2005 at 12:53 PM
I can't believe there are actually two bids on this things.
Posted by: opiesgirl | March 25, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Graz, cause he's native American. There's a genetic tendancy to not have a lot of chest hair. Not a lot of facial hair, either. That mustache has always freaked me out.
There are a very few smudge marks on the face, but they could easily be removed with soap and water. However, the buyer can do that if desired.
Why didn't they just wash his face and not say anything about it -- or were they talking about the mustache.
Posted by: slyeyes | March 25, 2005 at 01:02 PM
sly: i too was wondering what kind of kinky smudge-fetishists they thought they'd be selling to...
Posted by: judi | March 25, 2005 at 01:21 PM
Where can I get my Dave Barry blowup doll? What a goldmine!
Posted by: Buddha | March 25, 2005 at 01:30 PM
It isn't obscene . . .
Liar!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 25, 2005 at 01:31 PM
That is just sick and depraved! I can't believe they can get away with selling that.
He looks nothing like Wayne Newton!
Posted by: TrevorTrujillo | March 25, 2005 at 01:42 PM
This guy goes to more interesting estate sales than I do. My last try had some 50,000 little plastic dolls with extraordinarily fancy clothes. Even in sum total, not nearly as obscene as this one item. bizzare.
Posted by: NotInBaghdad | March 25, 2005 at 01:45 PM
Are we sure it isn't really a Tony Orlando blow-up doll?
Posted by: qetzal | March 25, 2005 at 01:49 PM
Note that the item says that the buyer can remove the smudge off the doll if they want to. All I'm saying is, if the SELLER doesn't want to remove the mystery stain, I wouldn't want to either!
Posted by: c00kie | March 25, 2005 at 02:05 PM
Gee thanks! Excuse me while I go back to eBay to find something to gouge my eyes out with...
Posted by: moos | March 25, 2005 at 02:22 PM
Trivia info:
Wayne Newton doesn't even have his moustache any more!
Posted by: Eleanor | March 25, 2005 at 02:50 PM
He probably sold his moustache on Ebay!
Posted by: insomniac | March 25, 2005 at 02:55 PM
Anyone remember the article Dave wrote some fifteen-odd (very odd) years ago about the woman who was planning to hold a wedding for a blow-up doll named Tiffany (who lived in her family's swimming pool, for reasons known only to them)?
She canceled the wedding because her real, noninflatable son got married himself, giving her a real wedding to plan, but now she could buy this Wayne-doll and ease Tiffany's rejection. Assuming all the air hasn't leaked out of her by now.
Posted by: golfwidow | March 25, 2005 at 03:31 PM
If I did put the up for sale on E-Bay, it would be real interesting to see if Sophie buys them. The naked Barbies, that is.
The talking Pee Wee Herman dolls are now living in the dumpster.
"I know you are but what am I"
"A dumpster diver"
TEQUILA!!!
Posted by: slyeyes | March 25, 2005 at 04:38 PM
this doll is, er, physiologically correct? the picture probably would have been xrated if they showed that... but i guess some people have waaay too much money for themselves. ewww.
Posted by: queensbee | March 26, 2005 at 03:04 AM
it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment.
Don't you just hate it when that happens?
Posted by: U.O | March 26, 2005 at 11:19 AM
This doll isn't physically accurate....oh, wait, it's Wayne Newton...never mind!!
Posted by: Melissa | March 26, 2005 at 11:41 AM
scat: good work!
;-)
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 26, 2005 at 06:04 PM
Okay girls, if you want the real thing, you can have it! Enlarged pupils, deranged expression, sure to be a memorable evening!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 26, 2005 at 06:37 PM
An inflatable image of Newton
Might be what you're wanting, dang tootin'!
Don't be surprised though
When you give it a blow
If it ends up resembling Rasputin!!
Posted by: Candy Tutt | March 29, 2005 at 12:11 PM