WHO COULD EAT?

(Thanks to Mahatma Jane for the photo and julietine for the story)

Comments

[Arcane Jill]

Notice where the one guy's attention is. First?

[kim possible]

SECOND!!!

[MOTW]

wearing a ' black leather "genital bracelet" with red studs. And white sneakers. '

Ewwww. That sounds more painful than a thong.

[Sean]

Nice...Who wants to sit down to meal while you have to look at naked fat hairy guys?...But..Naked Fat and Hairy WBAGNFARB

[kim possible]

SECOND!!!

[kim possible]

SECOND!!!
geez this is loading slowly...

[kim possible]

geez, where did my computer go? forget my posts...crap.

[MOTW]

Jomama Tane Keeves - you and your photos.

[Sean]

black leather, genital bracelet, with red studs. And white sneakers... Sounds like the line up at a death metal concert..

[Jeff Meyerson]

Check please! Definitely one less for dinner.

[Higgy]

Yeah, that male diner on the right is making "eye contact" - maybe I can use that excuse the next time my eyes are rampart-locked....

[Naked Female Diner]

My eyes are higher up than that, bub.

[igloo]

So, julietine, how was the meal?

[punky brewster]

Well at least you wouldn't have to unbutton your pants after eating too much.

Heard from one table ...

"Hey! That's not a potato, buddy!"

[MOTW]

punky! LMAO!

And you know, it'd be pretty hard to do a 'one cheek sneak' on those leather chairs ...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Somehow this seems relevant to this story.

[punky brewster]

*goes up to co-worker*

Hey ... what fruit do my breasts remind you of?

[cherie priest]

I'm betting they're not big into "wicker" at this restaurant.

[�LabSpecimen�]

*immediately mails resume to punky's place of employment*

[cherie priest]

I'm betting they're not big into "wicker" at this restaurant.

[Somewhere North]

Maybe this is a self esteem thing where hefty people kept getting turned down in bars and finally discovered this was a way to convince other people to look at them naked.

[Mrs Mary Mac]

Great restaurant for those watching their (not there) carbs, trans fats, etc. One good look at a fat hairy back and you'd (not yude) lose your appetite.

[punky brewster]

lol, cherie. Twice.

[cubie]

where is the mystery? it would be like shopping, I would think

[cherie priest]

Yeah, sorry about that. When I try to post comments here, sometimes digi-Dave tells me that I'm trying to assault him with "objectionable content." Apparently, this is because I list my URL as residing at LiveJournal.

Often it bumps me once or twice before posting the comment ... and this was one such time, except that it lied and told me the comment hadn't posted.

My bad.

[julietine]

FYI...in french cat is chat and it is also the word for p**sy, just as in English...I wonder if when they say playful cat they refer to one animal or "the other"...just wondering....oh never mind...

**goes to switch from tequila to vodka**

[Christobol]

"I think that guy likes you!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"How can you tell?"
"He was looking over here at you, then his wank knocked his water over."

[D'Artagnan]

I think the blonde looks kinda nice. I could eat.

What? I need to get naked too?

[U.O.]

So, if "discerning" ladies get to sit on "an elegant silk scarf" what do men get to sit on? Chopped liver?

(Scarf hardly seems appropriate for an elegant, sit-down dinner ... just sayin' ...)

Jeff M. -

Relevant? I'm reminded of the old joke -- but it's not completely about fruit, so I dunno if it's okay on this thread ...

Guy #1 - (talking about gal he met last nite in a bar ... )
"Yeah, she was really good looking, and a great personality, but she was kinda rampartically challenged, if you get what I mean."
G#2 - What? Small? Like Oranges?
G#1 - Nope, smaller.
G#2 - Lemons?
#1 - Smaller.
#2 - Limes?
#1 - Smaller.
#2 - Eggs?
#1 - Yeah. Fried.

Of course, in counterpoint, to avoid nickel-whacking others hereabouts, there's the gag about the little kid at the Ice Cream Stand ...

Orders a banana split ... yadda, yadda

"Want nuts on it?"
"Yeah."
"Want your nuts crushed?"
punchline is so old I won't bother with it ...

[cubie]

I think the men should sit on shower curtains

[Lairbo]

Customer at Naked Restaurant: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Well it isn't mine. It's right here on my pants. Which I'm wearing like a normal person in a normal restaurant.

Later, that same evening. . .

Customer at Naked Restaurant: I seem to have misplaced my wallet, but I've got some change in here somewhere. . .

Waiter: Nevermind. No, really.

[MKJ]

Uh, ever-nay ind-may about the oto-phay . . . (duh)

[Eleanor]

MKJ - it never hurts to look at a picture of naked people more than once :)

[Jeff Meyerson]

cherie: I hope wicker is discouraged... .

[Oh! Uh?]

That pix of Jessica Simpson doesn't look like "bottled" water to me ...

[horned frog]

From C-bol:
"I think that guy likes you!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"How can you tell?"
"He was looking over here at you, then his wank knocked his water over."

"Tell him to give me a call when he can knock MY water over."

[Christobol]

Continuing horned frog's continuation...

"Here he comes."
*knocks her water over with his eeny weeny peeny*
"How you doin?"

[horned frog]

I knew better than to try adding to an original C-bol!

[co-worker]

*arranges a platter of fruit for comparison purposes*

Dunno, Punky, I think I'll need a closer look. Now just sit up straight for me while I I conduct my examination...

[wysiwyg]

"Men in nudist resorts are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye," she said.

ummmmmm, so the point of being nude while eating is.....?

[Blind Co-worker]

Dunno, Punky ... I think I'm gonna need to feel 'em.

[Christobol]

Punky: Sure!
*arranges naked male co-workers in a row*
Blind Co-worker: Punky, you're mean.

[horned frog]

You know, I'd like to see 'em turn one of them crack-cats loose in there.

[u.o.]

C-bol (as Punky) -

But funny, and clever ...

reminds me of the Blind Man story ...

Woman on the phone, just before she gets into shower (so she's naked, obviously), doorbell rings ...

"Who is it?"
"Blind man, lady."
(Into phone) "Just a minute Marie, there's a blind man at the door."
(Grabs $5 from purse, opens door, hands it to man.)
(Doorbell rings again.
She steps to door, opens it.)
"What now? I gave you $5."
"Yup, and a nice tip it is ... now what do you want I should do with these venetian blinds?"

[akgirl]

"It's exciting to be in a restaurant nude....

Yah, and I like burning my winky with hot soup also!

[wysiwyg]

....or the other one:

The same woman answers the door, wrapped in a bath towel. It turns out to be a friend of the husband.

"Yeah, what do you want Tom?"

"MMMMMM! Looking good girl! Tell you what, I'll give you $500 to give me a quick flash!

*figuring this is a pretty good deal, she gives him a quick flash and takes the $500, and goes back inside*

"Who was that Honey?" calles the hubby from the bathroom.

"Oh, just Tom", she replies, stuffing the money in her purse.

"Oh good! Did he say anthing about the $500 he owes me?"

[akgirl]

Keyes, a lifelong nudist, wore a necklace, earrings and a black leather "genital bracelet" with red studs. And white
sneakers.

Everyone knows that white sneakers and red studed genital bracelets should not be worn together before labor day.

[Christobol]

I don't think they should be worn together ever, akgirl. Those studed genital bracelets hurt my feet.

[horned frog]

Try the Dr. Scholl's Studded Genital GEL Bracelets. Glad I could help.

[punky brewster]

Hey u.o.

Did you just write "cbol (as Punky) ... but funny and clever"? :(

Ok ... so, I'm not funny ... but, you know ... there's no need to be mean about it.

[horned frog]

You just have to ask yourself, "Do I feel funny?"

Well, do ya, punk(y)?

[u.o.]

wysiwyg - LOL! I'd forgotten that one. TNX muchly!

Punky - NONONONONONO!!! You ARE funny! I just din't want it to be misconstrued (say that very carefully, especially after a few drinks) that I was quoting you ... blame it on my newspapering career (now pretty much done with, tho I got a job offer last weekend) and being worried about accuracy of quotes, and quotees ... see, I gnu it was C-bol, but he wrote the script ... choosing you, so he must think you're pretty funny, just as I do ...

As a matter of fact, I smile EVERY time I see a post of yours ... your name just makes me feel cheerful ... but I'm not saying it's a funny name, it just ... ahhhh, crap ... I just keep digging the pit deeper and deeper ...

Go ahead Punk(y) ... Make my day! (TNX 4 that, horned frog ... I hadda borrow it ...)

[Jeff Meyerson]

You know, I'd like to see 'em turn one of them crack-cats loose in there.

Me too, horned frog, me too, especially on the hairy guy in the middle.

[horned frog]

If someone figures out a way to aim the cat, laser-beam-like, I'm sure we'd all be able to supply deserving targets; for now I'd just like to see it running amok in the middle of Cafe Nekkid.
Unless, that is, they start catering to Argentinian giant-fake-gazongas-in-a-bikini-queens, then... Call off your cats.

[Arcane Jill]

Can we aim the cat at 1. Jack Bauer and 2. The next person who spams the blog?

[horned frog]

Cool. I know who Julietine would point her crack-kitty at.
Me, I'm saving one for MacGuyver!

[Balanchine]

Costume party at the nudist colony.

Woman shows up with a lemon tied around her waist.
Man shows up with a potato, ditto.

You know their costumes.

[u.o.]

... um ... Bal' ...?

What I said about the memory banks (mine)?

I've most likely heard the lemon/potato jokes before, but ...

... um ... help?

tnx

[Corn]

Ouch, my eyes! Sitting around eating dinner with a bunch of flabby naked people sounds like a good diet plan. It would sure make me lose my appetite.

And I'm wondering what was in the basement of that house, an ancient Indian burial ground or something? I think that cat needed a good exorcist.

[Christobol]

I'm glad U.O. and Punky have made up, or dug a hole to have a wrastlin' match in...

Just fyi, if anyone messes with Punky, I have people who will show up and kill them.

Okay, I don't have people that will do that. But they tickle frikken mercilessly.

[opiesgirl]

Can you imagine the poor waiter?
Waiter: May I take your breast uh order?
OR
Waitress: Do you want penis I mean peanuts on your sundae?

[u.o.]

C-bol --

Watchu meen? You're the one got me in trubble with Punky ... I was only responding to your story, where you made her a character ...

... hmm ... wrastlin', huh?

Hey, Punky!

NO TICKLING, NOW ... please?

[Christobol]

u.o. - mea culpa

Now get in there and watch out for the scissor leg lock!

[u.o.]

C-bol --

Do you mean as in that Bond movie? (I think it was Bond, anyway ...)

Yeah, that could be trouble, all right ... and I can think of a couple of others to watch out for, also ...

[queensbee]

oh. blleah! everybody's got a cause. remind me notto eat there.....

[punky brewster]

*adjusts lycra thong, stretches and then tests out a few scissor kicks*

'k. I'm ready.

[Balanchine]

U.O.: sourpuss, dictator.

punky - um.... lycra thong.....?

[punky brewster]

Balanchine ... left over from the early 90s when I used to teach aerobics. :)

[Balanchine]

There's nothing quite like a former aerobics class instructor's lycra thong to increase the heartrate. Why even now, even here....